Stephen Collins' Revelation Exposes A Much Darker Story

October 7, 2014, 8:05 pm

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Photo: REX USA/Stewart Cook.

In a recording revealed this morning by TMZ, 7th Heaven actor Stephen Collins allegedly admitted to sexually abusing multiple children. The media ran with it, declaring shock and outrage at the actions of a man who most saw as a "wholesome""good guy." The accusations are, of course, shocking and outrageous. But, the reality is worse.

Stephen Collins was unusual in that he admitted his offenses in specific detail. What's not unusual is the silence of others. At least six other people knew about these instances of abuse for years — yet he remains uncharged.

Based on the TMZ report alone, we know he appeared to admit to assaulting three girls to his wife, Faye Grant, in 2012, while they were in the process of divorcing. We know that his first wife, Marjorie Weinman, reported the molestation of one of the victims that same year.

That report evidently came to nothing, since the NYPD has only recently launched their investigation. Certainly, Collins is the alleged perpetrator, but what of the silent bystanders? None of these people abused the children themselves, but with their silence and inaction, they are guilty in their own right.

"It is such an underreported crime," says Jen Marsh, vice president of Victim's Services at RAINN. "Children who reach out face substantial problems — whether it's their immediate loved ones who don't believe them, or the legal system itself."

It's estimated that 60% of all assault cases go unreported, but children face such specific issues simply because they are children and their assailants are typically adults. Often, abused children are effectively threatened into silence or else groomed or coerced by the abuser and made to believe they are somehow at fault.

"It's never, ever a child's fault if they are hurt or abused. But, perpetrators are often very good at manipulating their victims to think that it was consensual, or that they took part in it, therefore they're just as guilty."

Photo: REX USA/Stewart Cook.

It's this manipulation that enables the abuse to continue and bystanders to look the other way. "It's incredibly common," reports Marsh. "This scenario isn't shocking at all." In many of these cases, adults come forward after the fact, claiming they suspected something but didn't feel they had a right to accuse. "Daily, we hear from people who talk about 'barriers.' They sense something is going on but they're not 100% sure and they don't want to risk hurting a friend, a neighbor, or a co-worker."

But, these adults knew of Collins' crimes in explicit detail. It's not unlike the Jerry Sandusky case, in which several adults knew of abuse but didn't report the perpetrator to the police. Sandusky, the popular Penn State football coach, was eventually charged 52 counts of sexual crimes against children occurring over a 15 year period.

Another similarity between Collins and Sandusky is their status as esteemed individuals. Accusing anyone of such a heinous act is extremely difficult, but much more so when the suspect is well-liked and famous. Having played a beloved TV family man, Collins was naturally associated with sincerity by the audience who grew up watching him as the earnest Reverend Camden on 7th Heaven.

As a culture, we have no greater blind spot than that of celebrity. And, with a crime that so often slips through the cracks (or, in this case, is shoved through the cracks) a case like Stephen Collins' is both shocking and predictable. It's not that he was somehow more likely to molest children, but he was far more likely to get away with it. No one but Stephen Collins is responsible for his crimes, but many people have failed these children.

Active bystanders are crucial to the support and care of child abuse victims of all ages. If you suspect a case of abuse, visit RAINN for more information on what you can do.

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13-Year-Old Miranda Kerr's Modeling Pics Are, Predictably, Adorable

October 7, 2014, 8:05 pm

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Photo: Via Buzzfeed.

Today in great moments in supermodel history, we remember the humble beginnings of Miranda Kerr. Long before she was an internationally known face and Victoria's Secret Angel, Kerr was just a 13-year-old Australian girl with dreams of stardom. So, in 1997, she did what any other model-wannabe in the pre-Internet age would do. She submitted her photos to a contest in Dolly, the Aussie teen mag that inspired Sassy.

Lo and behold, Kerr was plucked from obscurity and flown from her home base of Gunnedah, New South Wales, for the Dolly shoot that launched her career. Kerr told the magazine that she was “totally excited” about the shoot, and described her mom as "my hero," among other adorably teenage statements. And, these pics prove once and for all that Kerr's always had it: Those wide-set blue eyes and that dimple were already in full effect nearly 20 years ago. Although, we must say she's learned to smize much more effectively in the years since.

Click over to Buzzfeed for the rest of the pics that show Kerr as the consummate '90s mini-goddess — baby tees, center parts, and all. (Buzzfeed)

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Heartwarming Photos Of The First Same-Sex Marriages In 5 States

October 7, 2014, 8:05 pm

≫ Next: Kendall Jenner Made Pajama Pants Work— At Work

≪ Previous: 13-Year-Old Miranda Kerr's Modeling Pics Are, Predictably, Adorable

Sometimes, no news is good news. Yesterday, the Supreme Court declined to hear five states' cases against same-sex marriage. In doing so, SCOTUS effectively legalized marriage equality in those states.

Virginia, Indiana, Oklahoma, Utah, and Wisconsin are all beginning to offer marriage licenses to same-sex couples this week, and the ruling also applies to six more states. Colorado, North Carolina, South Carolina, Kansas, West Virginia, and Wyoming are likely to follow suit. That will bring the total up to 30 states that allow same-sex marriage, up from just 19 last week. Then, for the first time in history, a majority of Americans — 60% in fact — would live in places with marriage equality.

It also means weddings, last-minute, excited, run-to-City-Hall-because-we've-been-waiting-decades-for-this weddings! Such eagerly anticipated unions are filling up Instagram feeds around the country. To celebrate, we rounded up some of our favorites.

Derek Kitchen and Moudi Sbeity were among the six plaintiffs who sued against Utah's ban on same-sex marriage. The ruling is major cause for celebrating — with a hilarious photo op.

Catherine Paige Gillespie — with her son in tow — married André Avis Hakes in a heartwarming ceremony. They were the first same-sex partners to receive a marriage license in Charlottesville, VA.

Catherine and André share an intimate moment in front of the courthouse.

The papers are signed; it's official!

Congratulations are in order for Lindsey and Nicole, who were the first same-sex couple to get married in Richmond, VA.

Signing the marriage license — it's been a long time coming for these lovebirds.

Tears of joy for these newlyweds.

Nothing says "we did it" like crossing the imaginary finish line with hands in the air.

Little Ruby's moms are married, at long last.

All suited up for the big day.

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Kendall Jenner Made Pajama Pants Work— At Work

October 7, 2014, 8:05 pm

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Many creative liberties are allowed — heck, encouraged — when dressing for fashion jobs. The latest H&M Studio collection with a side of Rachel Comey? Yes, please. Yet there's some sartorial terrain that even our industry's most adventurous haven't dared cross — yet.

Sure, we've ironically donned pajama-inspired pieces outside the comfort of our apartments, but wearing actual PJs to the office is another scenario entirely. And, apparently, it's one that Kendall (hold the Jenner) is embracing with fervor — and for work, no less.

En route to a business meeting in Manhattan this week, Jenner opted for the ultimate #cozygirl outfit. After all, what's more comfortable than a moto jacket, ankles boots, and drawstring, jersey pants after a month-long stint walking walking runway after runway? We're leaning toward...nothing.

While we have our doubts as to work-appropriateness of the getup, we'd venture to say she's is actually pulling it off. If you're feeling equally pooped from life, we've recreated Jenner's casual style for you to sport in your down time (or, you know, when working from home).

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Kendall's idea of throw-on-and-go is surprisingly chic — pajama pants and all.

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Sarah Jessica Parker Is The BEST Samaritan

October 7, 2014, 8:05 pm

≫ Next: Scrappy As Ever, The Vaselines Pull No Punches

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Photo: BEImages/Gregory Pace.

It turns out there's an upside to being constantly tailed by the paparazzi. Sarah Jessica Parker was walking around the West Village with a friend when she noticed a slip of paper on the floor. Photographers happened to catch the actress bending over to pick it up and reacting in a way that seemed to say, "This is no ordinary piece of trash."

TMZ is reporting that the slip of paper SJP picked up was actually a check for $4,700. While some may have been tempted to try and monetize their discovery, SJP decided to play amateur sleuth and track the payee down. (After all, she probably owns bathroom slippers worth twice as much.) While Parker likely wouldn't have publicized her good deed, thanks to a few nosy photographers, we now know that SJP has a heart of gold.

After finding the check, Parker reportedly went home, Googled the rightful owner's name, and is trying to return it to him as we speak. Apparently, he hasn't been home. We would love to see the man's face when he gets home and sees 15 missed calls from Sarah Jessica Parker. Or better yet, his wife's face. (TMZ)

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Scrappy As Ever, The Vaselines Pull No Punches

October 7, 2014, 8:05 pm

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≪ Previous: Sarah Jessica Parker Is The BEST Samaritan

Photo: Courtesy of The Veselines.

At the risk of making a broad-brush, national-stereotype kind of remark, Scots don’t sugarcoat, and they generally don’t have much patience for inflated egos. So a conversation with Frances McKee and Eugene Kelly of Glasgow’s The Vaselines is a refreshingly unvarnished, candid affair. They’ll take the piss out of others, each other, and their unlikely status: a couple of 40-somethings still making the sort of uncomplicated, punky power-pop that they cut their teeth on more than a quarter-century ago, having produced only three albums in all that time.

The Vaselines’ story has become the stuff of alt-rock legend. They were one of countless scrappy, Thatcher-era northern bands who’d already thrown in the towel by 1989. After just one album, Dum Dum, and a couple of EPs, they were unexpectedly thrust into the global spotlight thanks to an endorsement from one Kurt Cobain, who called them his “favorite songwriters,” and they went on to cover three of their songs with Nirvana. That blip of attention was short-lived, though. After a one-off opening gig for Nirvana in 1990, and a 1992 Sub Pop compilation of their previous releases, The Vaselines didn’t play together again until 2006. Finally in 2009, McKee and Kelly turned out a second album, Sex With an X. Now, as of this week, there is a third: V For Vaselines, recorded at fellow Glaswegians Mogwai’s studio Castle of Doom, and featuring appearances from other Scottish indie luminaries including members of Belle & Sebastian and Teenage Fanclub.

How much longer will this second chapter of The Vaselines’ life continue? What do these ‘80’s vets think of the current state of the music biz? And, what about the biggest story in all of Scotland — the independence referendum, which recently went down to defeat? I spoke to Kelly and the ever-cheeky McKee about those topics and more.

Photo: Courtesy of The Veselines.

Guys, I think four years ago there was a sort of novelty — a curiosity factor maybe — at play with Sex With an X because it was the first record from The Vaselines in more than 20 years. But, with this record, I’d imagine fans — even the younger ones — know what they’re getting with you. It seems this album will prove itself on its own without the benefit of rediscovery or nostalgia.
Eugene Kelly:“Yeah, definitely it’s a harder sell, this one, because you’ve not got that impact of the ‘comeback.’ You have us saying, ‘We’re still here. We’re bringing out something new.’ And, it’s still gonna be us, it’s not gonna be radically different to the older stuff, so you kind of have to worry about people thinking, ‘Oh it’s just them again, and we’ve had enough.’ Or, whether they’re bored or if they’re gonna be interested. So, it’s kind of a harder sell, so we kinda of have to get out and shout a bit louder with this one.”

The last time we spoke, you weren’t even necessarily planning to do a third record. Frances, I remember you telling me toward the end of that interview that even asking you that question was like asking you whether you wanted another child, right after you had given birth to one.
Frances McKee:“Yeah that’s right, I remember that. I’ve quoted myself quite a few times. [laughs] And, I still say the same! No, it’s too painful! [laughs]”

What eventually pushed you in the direction of doing a third album?
FM:“We never put that kind of stress on ourselves. After the Sex With an X thing died down, we didn’t do much. I think we did have almost a year of not doing very much at all. Then we just decided that we would get together to see if any songs were coming about — again, without putting any pressure on ourselves. So we started getting together and realized that we did have some things to work with.”

EK:“I think we just had a meeting of the minds and thought, ‘What are we gonna do next? Are we gonna do another record or just call it quits?’ And, I think we both felt we were enjoying it, and we can write together, and why can’t we do another record?”

You chose to self-release it on your own label. How did that decision come about, and was Sub Pop not an option to put out this record?
EK:“Well, we let them hear it last year, before we had really finished it, and they passed on it, which was absolutely fine. They just decided it wasn’t for them. And, then we let other people hear it, and we got lots of positive feedback from people, but we didn’t really want to put it out. So, we looked at our options and the best one was to release it ourselves. We could have gone with a small independent label, but thought, ‘Well we can just do that ourselves.’ We’ll go with our manager, and we’ll become the label, and we’ve worked with a distribution company who finance it, and it’s perfect for us. I mean, it’s pretty hands-on. You have to approve so much, and it’s a bit harder work, but in the long run I think it’s a more positive thing to do.”

There does seem to still be an ongoing effort to find newer and more direct ways to get music out there. Look at that Thom Yorke release last week and how he put it out on Bit Torrent, and he — as Radiohead has done in the past — has such a following that he can do things that are a little bit exploratory and really kind of lead the way in ways that maybe others can’t. But, it’s nice to see people trying to cut out the middle man, and, as I think Thom said, bring some of that Internet commerce back to the people who actually create the product.
FM:“I think that’s right. I think the music industry continues to be changing, it’s changing in ways that I’m certain some labels haven’t really caught on to yet. I think sometimes it’s changing in a good way and other, I think it’s not. I think it’s becoming more corporate, becoming bigger labels, bigger bands, and the rich bands get richer and bigger, and smaller bands just get treated like shit. I think the hierarchy within the system is ghastly, and it really does need to change. Otherwise actually, people like us, people who are just trying to be creative aren’t gonna be able to do that. And, I really do feel for young kids coming up, who are really just wanting to be in a band, and try to do all that stuff. There’s just no money for anyone and if things don’t change, soon the only people who are able to make music are those with rich parents.”

As you said, you’re not drastically altering The Vaselines’ sound on this record, but I would say that you seem to have dialed back some of the different moods you went into on the last one — in favor of a shorter, punchier, and more straightforward approach?
EK:“Yeah, I think the idea was, when we agreed to do something we wanted to do something short and snappy, a short record and short songs.”

Did you feel like there wasn’t enough of that on the last record?
EK:“Not really, it wasn’t really a reaction to the last record.”

FM:“I will say that when I listen to the last record, I really do love it, but I think some of the songs suffer from being a wee bit too long. And, I think that we were both consciously or unconsciously addressing that on this album, and not giving any song too much time. It wasn’t really deliberate but that’s kind of the way it all manifested. I was listening to a lot of Iggy Pop and The Ramones and so was Eugene; he was listening to a lot of Ramones at the time. And, it just seemed a good time to stick to that classic thing, with not too much frivolity.”

EK:“Our manager gave us a copy of the [Legs McNeil] book, Please Kill Me, about the New York scene in the early ‘70s. I think maybe because we were both reading that that we were both listening to some of the music, so I think maybe that we both got in our heads that we wanted it to be really concise, short songs. So, I agree with Frances — and that’s a first — note this day Frances, I agreed with you. [laughs] But, the songs on the last record kind of meandered a bit. And, maybe we felt like some of those songs could have been edited slightly, and I think maybe we were aware of that fact and wanted to try and address it. And, also to get back a bit to some of our early stuff which was really short, two-minute songs or even one and a half minutes. We were trying to get back some of that instant pop excitement into it.”

The eyes of the world were on Scotland in recent weeks because of the independence referendum, in which the No vote prevailed pretty handily. Frances, I know you were a Yes supporter; in fact, most Scottish musicians I know of did seem to be on that side. Were you surprised that the vote went the way that it did, or by the margin of the No campaign’s victory?
Frances McKee:“Well, the first thing is, I wasn’t surprised that the No vote won, because actually the propaganda surrounding voting Yes from newspapers put a lot of fear into people. It was the older generation mainly that did vote No. And, I think they were just absolutely terrified of what might happen. I think people like us, musicians, we’re more creative thinkers, and we think, ‘Okay, any kind of change will create difficulties perhaps. But, we just don’t know.’ And for me, that uncertainty was a good thing. But, for a lot of people, uncertainty was not for them, they wanted to be safe. What I didn’t expect though was the 10% margin; I would’ve thought it would be much narrower than that. So, I was hugely disappointed at the result... if, for example, the vote had gone to a majority of Yes, the whole government would have collapsed I think. David Cameron would be out of a job. And, you know, I don’t think the No campaign from London could have ever accepted that, so they did whatever they could to ensure that they did not lose that vote. It was a kind of David and Goliath thing really. It was amazing the number of people that came out to vote, and 1.6 million people voted Yes in this country, and that’s a huge thing.”

Didn’t they lower the voting age?
Eugene Kelly:“Yeah, to 16. And, most of them voted for independence. It’s been an amazing couple of years here, and the whole campaign, being part of it. I think a lot of people like myself started off being No voters but swung to Yes over the past year — just because of the negative campaigning of the No campaign. Basically, it was pro-independence against the British establishment, and the British establishment threw everything in such a negative campaign at the Yes voters, and it was kind of horrible to watch — the whole fear factor. So, yeah, it was disappointing, but still I think it’s the beginning of something rather than the end of something.”

You guys have never been shy about cheeky and lighthearted songs that talk about sex. But, this record, while the music is very upbeat start to finish, the songs seem to deal more with love or relationships gone wrong, and in some cases they don’t deal with sex or relationships at all.
FM:“Well, you know people over the age of 40 just don’t have sex. Don’t you know that?” [laughs]

EK:“Yeah, well I think I’ve read some reviews that said it’s not as fun a record, or there’s maybe not as much humor as in the past. And, I think that’s true. I mean, we weren’t deliberately trying to make a serious, grown-up, mature record. But, that’s just the songs that came. They weren’t maybe as frivolous as previous ones. And, yeah, there’s some songs that are definitely not about romance. ‘Inky Lies’ is not about romance or relationships at all. And, what other ones…”

Maybe the closing track, “Last Half Hour”?
EK:“Yeah, right.”

FM:“Well ‘Last Half Hour’ is more about the demise of our career! [laughs]”

EK:“Yeah it’s all about the faded glamour of an actor or musician who’s out there still performing, but there’s no one there to see them. So, there’s more grown-up things going on on this record, but definitely no sex.”

Well, you’ve said “Inky Lies” was inspired by the whole News of the World hacking scandal, but it’s also seems to be a song just about the press, and intrusion into people’s privacy — pretty timely in the wake of the iCloud naked photo leak.
FM:“I think with that song in particular was that idea of, why are people so interested in other peoples’ lives? And, these absolutely inane headlines that people become obsessed with. It’s just a distraction from their own life. People do believe absolute nonsense that they are told, either on TV or in a newspaper. A lot of it is absolute fairy tales, and it doesn’t make sense, but people are absolutely prepared to believe it.”

EK:“The tabloid press in Britain is just ridiculous, and quite right-wing. The Daily Star newspaper, in the last three days the front page has been ‘Britain Is Being Hounded by Black-Eyed Ghost Children!’ This ridiculous story now over three days, about these ghostly apparitions that they say are haunting people up and down the country. White-faced kids with big black eyes. And, this is a major paper!”

[laughs]

Since I would hate to let a Vaselines interview go by without some mention of Nirvana, I wonder what you thought of the “reunion” at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame earlier this year, with Kim Gordon, Joan Jett, St. Vincent, and Lorde all standing in for Kurt. What did you think of it?
EK:“I think the way they did it was amazing. They just like to do things differently. It’s like when they played Unplugged years ago; people thought the guest stars would be like Eddie Vedder or David Bowie or something. But, instead Kurt brought Meat Puppets on there. And, so, having those women on was like saying, ‘We don’t have to get some bloke on here to scream his head off. We’ve got some really great female performers here.’ And, it’s not easy to stand up and say ‘I’m a feminist’ in quite male-dominated rock, but Nirvana are quite happy to do that and to say they’re feminists, and I think that’s great.”

Frances, your thoughts?
FM:“I’m actually shocked that Eugene has said the word ‘feminist’ in a positive light!”

[laughs]a

FM:“I’m not given any equal opportunities in The Vaselines! I’ve been abused all week!”

You end the album with “Last Half Hour” and I want to end the interview with that. Its final line is “Dim the light low, final curtain, end of the show” — that’s not a statement about you guys, is it?
EK:“No, but I think we’re kind of at peace with that kind of a song as the last track because we’re not sure. I think if this is gonna be our last record, that’s a good last song off the album. But, we have no idea what we’re going to do next, if we’ll do another record. It’s hard to say, because we don’t discuss these things until we have to discuss them.”

FM:“Yeah, I think in the end, if people like the record and buy the record and want to hear more, then obviously we would consider that. But, on the other hand, if no one buys it, well I think that’s a clue that, well, this isn’t really a viable business plan, is it? [Laughs] I mean, we’re not U2. We can’t give the record away. We don’t all have that luxury.”

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You Should Be Brightening Up Your Skin-Care Routine

October 7, 2014, 8:05 pm

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If you are a regular R29 Beauty reader, you’ve already heard us wax poetic time and again about the relatively new research that shows just how damaging pollution can be for your skin. The effects of the environment on one’s complexion have, in the past decade or so, been mostly focused on free radical damage pertaining to sun exposure, which is why you’ve seen exactly 900 million articles about the importance of SPF.

Unfortunately, sunscreen is only one part of the equation. A new article in Dermatology Times explains that nanoparticles in air pollution can result in the same type of skin aging seen with chronic exposure to UV light ("facial dyspigmentation"). It points to a study sponsored by L’Oréal that compared individuals living in Mexico City with those in a rural part of the country, which found “a decreased vitamin E… [and] squalene content in the individuals who lived in the city environment.”

Zoe Draelos, M.D., consulting professor of dermatology at Duke University School of Medicine, told the magazine that more analysis is required to pinpoint a preventative measure for this kind of skin aging, which is the main reason you're about be barraged with messages about brightening. Previously a concern left to the sun-damaged and acne-scarred, evening skin tone is soon going to be a worry for anyone with frequent exposure to, well, our dirty, polluted air. We've rounded up a few new products that can help with that cause, the majority of which are designed for nightly use and are light enough to layer under moisturizer without clogging pores. Click through for the brand new products for every city-dweller with a newfound fear of spots.

Estée Lauder Enlighten
There’s an instant brightening effect to this serum, but the brand insists that its gel is not just a one-second wonder. With it, Estée claims to have created a time-release system that acts in rhythm with your skin’s “nighttime pigmentation response,” helping you look more even and luminous as you sleep. (For bonus points, use it as a makeup primer.)

Dolce & Gabbana Aurealux Mask
The luxury Italian brand’s foray into skin care has already caught our attention with a very unique eye gel, but its sheet mask is also well worth the investment. Saturated with vitamin B3 and olive oil, it’s like an energy shot for your face, revealing the luminous skin you know you have. Try it before a big night out, patting the excess from the package down your décolleté and onto your chest.

Vichy ProEven Night
This paraben-free gel formula is lightweight enough for daily use, which makes it an ideal serum for those who are struggling with acne and scarring. It lightly exfoliates the skin while you sleep, and its vitamin C and ceramides protect and brighten the skin over time.

Su-Man Velvet Skin Brightening Serum
It’s a little hard to explain how an oil-like product could soak into your skin and make it feel plush, plump, and oddly matte — but that’s what this does. It utilizes antioxidants, hyaluronic acid, and dragon’s blood extract to instantly enhance the skin, leaving you with a covetable complexion. One drop is all you need.

Dr. Brandt Laser FX Bright Serum
Inspired by dermatological-grade laser treatments, this serum contains encapsulated vitamin C for brightening, while hyaluronic acid and botanicals improve your overall skin health. In a clinical test of 25 candidates who applied it morning and night, 88% saw dark spots and discolorations fade after three weeks.

Lumene Bright Now 2-in-1 Eye Cream
There’s nothing more appealing than an eye-cream-and-concealer duo, and Lumene’s combo product does the trick for quick touch-ups throughout the day. As far as dark circles are concerned, it makes a bold claim that they'll disappear; we’ll do our due diligence and hope for the best.

Elemis Advanced Brightening Even Tone Serum
This gel-like formula is a dream — it absorbs quickly, it has a pleasant scent, and it layers nicely under moisturizers and SPFs. Instead of being a “dark spot corrector,” it works to even out the overall complexion and provide the necessary defenses for future damage. If you’re not noticing hyperpigmentation yet but want to get ahead, this is an easy solution.

Dermalogica Pure Light SPF 50
Finding a high-level sunscreen that actually improves your skin’s texture is a near impossibility — until this guy came around. There’s hyaluronic acid, which explains that instant plumping effect, but it’s also got a powerful peptide to regulate melanin production while botanical extracts balance the skin. Forget your BB Cream; this and concealer are all you’ll need.

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5 Instagram #OOTDs To Help You Plan Tomorrow's Outfit

October 7, 2014, 8:05 pm

≫ Next: 7th Heaven Actress Sarah Goldberg Dead At Age 40

≪ Previous: You Should Be Brightening Up Your Skin-Care Routine

Something funny happens right after Fashion Month wraps up. After four weeks of eccentric shoes, over-the-top accessories, and theatrical ensembles, influencers scale it back. They immerse themselves in knits, shelving vibrant colors until the next sartorial rodeo. But, just because their brights take a hit doesn't mean their #OOTDs suffer — not even a little bit.

They do get a whole lot more comfortable, though — shifting from crop tops to turtlenecks and from stilettos to loafers and boots. So, while we can drool over street style snaps all day, it's the calm after the storm that inspires our mid-week wardrobes. Ahead, let five bloggers motivate you to have the comfiest Wednesday yet.

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Vanessa Hong's minimalist aesthetic keeps it light on the color, but big on the statement pieces. We can't take our eyes off her The Row backpack. (Her leather H&M pants with drawstring hems aren't too shabby, either.)

Carrie Harwood's collegiate look makes us want to go back to school — well, almost. A pair of patent-leather loafers and a cable-knit sweater are all we need to brighten up a dreary fall day.

Andy Torres of Style Scrapbook demonstrates the trifecta of making a sweatshirt look fancy: the right pair of skinny jeans, the right pair of shoes, and the right pose.

The denim tuxedo is a no-fuss way to look put-together and fashion-forward. Tamu McPherson's a great example — you may even want to try her innovative sweater-tying method.

Sarah Mikaela of Framboise Fashion knows a bright background can make your outfit pop. But, her white jeans shine on their own.

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7th Heaven Actress Sarah Goldberg Dead At Age 40

October 7, 2014, 8:05 pm

≫ Next: This Is What It Feels Like To Almost Die

≪ Previous: 5 Instagram #OOTDs To Help You Plan Tomorrow's Outfit

Photo: Via Facebook.

The former cast of 7th Heaven has seen better days. After the disturbing news broke this morning that Stephen Collins — who played the fictional Camden family's patriarch — allegedly confessed to molesting multiple children, it's now been confirmed that an alumnus of the hit CW show has passed away.

Sarah Goldberg — whose stage name was Sarah Danielle Madison — was found dead on September 27. She was 40 years old.

Goldberg's body was discovered in her family's Wisconsin cabin. It's unclear why her family decided to release the news today. "She went to sleep and didn't wake up," Goldberg's mother told the Chicago Sun-Times.

Although an autopsy did not reveal a cause of death, a heart condition is suspected.

On 7th Heaven, Goldberg played Matt Camden's love interest, Sarah Taylor, for 24 episodes. Over the course of her career, she also appeared in the 90210 reboot and major films like Jurrasic Park III,= and Training Day. (Just Jared)

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This Is What It Feels Like To Almost Die

October 7, 2014, 8:05 pm

≫ Next: How To Know When Your Quarter-Life Crisis Is Over

≪ Previous: 7th Heaven Actress Sarah Goldberg Dead At Age 40

Illustrated by Tyler Spangler.

Near-death experiences are often talked about, but actually researching them can be pretty difficult. Now, a new study begins to shed some light on heading toward that white light.

For the study, published online today in the journal Resuscitation, researchers looked at 101 survivors of cardiac arrest over a four-year span of time. Using three stages of interviews, the investigators were able to gather a multitude of information about the participants' experiences.

Their results showed remarkable variety: The most reported near-death feeling was a sense of everything speeding up or slowing down (27%), followed by a sense of pleasantness or peacefulness (22%). A fair amount of participants (13%) also reported that their senses were more vivid than usual, and that they felt separated from their physical bodies. The results also showed that almost half of participants' experiences / perceived imagery tended to fall within one of seven themes: fear, plants and animals, violence or feeling persecuted, déjà vu, family, the classic bright light, or recalling events that probably happened while the person was recovering.

Although 7% of participants said they were aware of things that would normally have been out of view, only one was able to give enough details (the color of the scrubs personnel were wearing, or specific instructions nurses gave) to be verified. And, the researchers were able to confirm these details by looking at medical records. Other studies have shown that this type of awareness can also happen when patients are under anesthesia.

Previous work has revealed that 10-20% of cardiac-arrest survivors report a sense of awareness mid-resuscitation, despite their considerably impaired brain function — a hallmark characteristic of near-death experiences. Which indicates the possibility of cognitive processes continuing after we've stopped showing other signs of life. But, obviously, this study has its limitations. With such a small sample size, plus self-reporting, it's difficult to really know what people were going through. But, knowing more about what happens when we "lose" our lives can help us develop better understanding and appreciation while we've still got 'em.

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How To Know When Your Quarter-Life Crisis Is Over

October 7, 2014, 8:05 pm

≫ Next: Gym-Bag Beauty Essentials From Our Favorite Fitness Pros

≪ Previous: This Is What It Feels Like To Almost Die

HowToKnowYourQuarterLifeCrisisIsOver_Slide01

Illustrated by Mary Galloway.

The advent of the term quarter-life crisis rose to prominence around the same time that millennial became the newest media buzz word.

It generally happens after you’ve graduated college and been out in the adult world for a bit; When you finally arrive at adulthood and realize your life looks nothing like what you fantasized. I don’t know a millennial (someone born between x and y) who hasn’t experienced the crippling anxiety, painful awkwardness, and self-doubt of the year-long (sometimes two or three if you’re unlucky) quarter-life crisis.

The quarter-life crisis (QLC) is such a cultural stronghold now that scientists have studied the phenomenon and come up with distinct phases for the quarter-life crisis:

Phase 1
Initial discomfort; feeling of being trapped in your life or by the decisions you’ve made.

Phase 2
Tired of dissatisfaction, you begin to think about what you could change.

Phase 3
The inciting incident: quitting the job you hate, leaving the toxic relationship, or trying something new.

Phase 4
Rebuilding your life.

Phase 5
Living your life according to your new values and experiences.

This post is about how to know when your quarter-life crisis is over. Specifically about the things you’ll need to do in phase four to reach phase five and move on with your life.

HowToKnowYourQuarterLifeCrisisIsOver_Slide02

Illustrated by Mary Galloway.

1. You’ve found your purpose.
I’d be willing to put money on the fact that most QLCs stem from millennials feeling dissatisfied in their careers. You spend more time at work than you do anywhere else, so it should be rewarding and fulfilling in most ways, right? Still, I see many young adults quitting one terrible job and wandering between other equally horrible and pointless jobs, or they move back in with mom and Dad hoping their ultimate purpose will find them.

Unfortunately, you can’t get over your QLC until you put in the most important work of finding your higher calling. Pay attention to your interests and passions outside of the 9-5 for guidance, and forget about the guilt that comes with “not doing a job that you went to school for.”

Related: Real Stories: My Cubicle Panic Attack

Take a cooking class, start a blog, or apply for an unpaid internship if you feel like it will really educate and put you on the right path. The trick is to find something you’d want to do even when you’re tired.

2. Find your purpose… and take it with a grain of salt.
Just because you hate your job doesn’t mean you aren’t fulfilling your purpose. In fact, once you find your purpose you will still have to take a few unglamorous jobs at first in order to get ahead, or support yourself while you figure things out or build out what your true passion looks like. Everyone gets coffee at first. Everyone has a horrible boss at one point or another. Everyone has to work long hours for little pay in the beginning.

Related: 20-Something Doesn't Have To Be 20-Everything

So, I say find your passion, but take it with a grain of salt. Everything worth having takes work. Lots and lots of hard work.

3. You’re willing to accept more responsibility.
Once you’ve figured out your purpose, you’ll probably feel calmer and more at peace with things. And, now that you life doesn’t seem so crazy and confusing you’ll probably want to take on more responsibility, either at work, home, or with your finances and relationships.

Once responsibility seems more like a fun challenge than an earth-shattering burden, you’re probably over your quarter-life crisis.

4. You’re less willing to take risks.
In order to find your purpose and live a life that makes sense you’ll probably have to take a few risks, disappoint a few people, and burn a few bridges to make that happen.

When you stop wanting to take risks, it means that your life is less tumultuous and comfy. I’m not advocating people ever stop taking calculated risks or doing things that scare them, but after a few major risks to align yourself with your purpose, a few safer choices will start to seem attractive, and this is growth.

5. You’ll feel it in your bones.
After getting through the initial risks and soul searching associated with a QLC, your life on paper will quiet down: You’ll be employed, back in school, or semi-employed trying to pursue your true passion on the side. You might be in a better relationship than before or be considering taking the next step in your current one. Still, you can have those entire things pre-quarter life crisis and still feel a lot of pain and anxiety deep down.

The pain can come from a lot of places, but mostly from feeling misunderstood or trying to change yourself to fit into a mold or ideal you think everyone expects. The anxiety will come from feeling trapped, or knowing there’s a problem, but not feeling capable enough to solve it.

Eventually, you will accept that you can’t control the future, or control what life is going to throw your way. The only thing you can control is your attitude and how you choose to spend your time.

The term quarter-life crisis is scary, and it’s gotten a bad rap because it’s definitely not a pleasant experience. Perhaps it should actually be called “putting on your big boy/girl pants” or taking responsibility. Or…you could simply call it the best thing that ever happened to you. Because it will be.

Next: 5 Books To Read In Your 20s

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↧

Gym-Bag Beauty Essentials From Our Favorite Fitness Pros

October 7, 2014, 8:05 pm

≫ Next: Someone Put Nude Photos On Jennifer Lawrence's Wikipedia Page

≪ Previous: How To Know When Your Quarter-Life Crisis Is Over

Dragging ourselves out of bed in the early mornings and making it to one of the trendiest fitness classes is, to put it lightly, a chore. While we're still rubbing sleep from our eyes, our instructors are encouraging us into downward dogs, lunges, crunches, or stretches. Sure, it's her job to be peppy and motivating, and that's why we're there. But, haven't you ever wondered how she looks so damn good doing it?

Instead of chalking it up to the "lifestyle" of a fitness guru, we thought we'd ask some of the industry's current darlings for their pre- and post-exercise beauty essentials. Here, you'll find all sorts of tips — facial cleansing, green juices, and tinted moisturizer figure prominently — as well as a few great products that are bound to give you a fresh-from-the-gym glow.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, they also have a few ideas for what to do with that post-workout hair. Read on to find out more!

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Simone De La Rue, founder of Body by Simone

A Day in The Life:“My philosophy is simple: Make working out and eating well a lifestyle choice, not a chore. Find the balance and make it joyous along the way.”

Beauty Philosophy:“I always have concealer and mascara on, but I don’t like to wear foundation when I’m working out — I prefer to keep my skin clean. But, when I head out in the evenings, I like to go all-out — my days spent on the stage [as a dancer] are still with me!"

Pre-Workout Essentials:"I start with my first client at 7 a.m., so I literally have to paint my eyes open! I wear YSL Touche Éclat to cover the bags under my eyes, and my favorite mascara is Lancôme Hypnôse Drama, which creates the illusion of false lashes. I actually love wearing lip gloss — my go-to is MAC in Big Kiss. I like the hair ties from Emi Jay because they’re so colorful and don’t rip your hair out when you take them [out].”

Post-Workout Essentials:“A client of mine introduced me to Frederic Malle Carnal Flower and it smells divine — I love to apply it after showering. I always put on Paula’s Choice Daily Moisturizer with SPF to protect my skin against the sun, especially now that I’m spending more time in LA. And I can’t live without Klorane Dry Shampoo! I use Kiehl’s Deluxe Hand and Body Lotion all over my body including my hands and feet every time I workout.”

Sadie Lincoln, founder of Barre3

A Day in The Life:“I love teaching people about their bodies and whole-body health. I reject the idea of ‘no pain, no gain’ because I think those phrases are motivating in the moment, but they leave us feeling depleted and exhausted in the long run. Exercise needs to feel doable and enjoyable in order for it to be something we stick with.”

Beauty Philosophy:“Less is more! Just like my workout, I need an accessible, no-fuss routine that fits my lifestyle. On most days, I spend about 10 minutes getting ready. I actually just replaced my daily coffee with green tea and I noticed a significant difference in the lines in my face softening!”

Pre-Workout Essentials:“I’m a fan of natural deodorants that aren’t sticky and don’t smell weird. I like Schmidt’s Natural Lavender and Sage. I love this brand because it’s made in Portland — I try to buy local when possible. I use Yes To Carrots wipes to clean my face before and after class, too. I also use Los Poblanos lavender salve for lotion, lip conditioner, and the ends of my hair."

Post-Workout Essentials:“I love Skinny Skinny’s Rose and Black Pepper Dry Shampoo because it smells delicious and keeps me looking fresh. I also use the One Love Organics Chia Whip Foam Cleanser because it cleans without dehydrating. Laura Mercier Tinted Moisturizer balances out my skin tone, gives me a glow, and has sunscreen, and I love that Josie Maran’s Cheek Gelée’s feel cool, refreshing, and provide the right amount of color. I do spend a lot of time barefoot, so LVX’s light pink Ecru color is one of my favorite products!"

Mary Helen Bowers, founder of Ballet Beautiful

A Day in The Life:“I like to think of working out as a daily luxury — something wonderful and healthy that you can do each day to look and feel your best! Exercise should be challenging but fun, something that you look forward to and enjoy, not dread.”

Beauty Philosophy:“Life is busy, so I try to keep my routine as simple as possible — I get facials every couple of weeks, and I feel like the more you do now to take care of your body and your skin, the more it pays off later. A great face serum, a mask, concealer, and cream blush go a long way in making you look fresh and dewy!”

Pre-Workout Essentials:“Staying hydrated is a must — it fights fatigue and works wonders with beautiful skin. I also think that nutrition plays a big role. But I do love natural hydrating products like RMS Un Cover-Up, Living Luminizer, and Cheek Tint.”

Post-Workout Essentials:“I love a hot bath with Epsom Salts and bath oils to relax the muscles. Fresh’s Patchouli soap, Kora’s rosehip oil and cream cleanser are favorites for pampering the body and maintaining a healthy glow!”

Taryn Toomey, founder of The Class

A Day in The Life:“I believe that working out is not just about the shape of the body. I like to combine movements that are strengthening and heart-pumping, but also guided by the breath to allow you to drop in and become present in the experience. I’m a huge believer in endorphins to help the flow of energy.”

Beauty Philosophy:“I believe in good skin care, and I think the insides show on the outside. By creating a healthy lifestyle — sweating, healthy eating, drinking water — you will create a health complexion. I love the basics when it comes to makeup.”

Pre-Workout Essentials:“When I wake up, I cleanse using Joanna Vargas’s Face Wash and a Clarisonic. I teach mostly in the morning, so I keep my face clean for class and I’ll curl my lashes with the Shu Uemura curler. Then, I’ll add a little color to my cheeks with Benetint by Benefit.”

Post-Workout Essentials:“I’m back to the Joanna Vargas face wash, and then I combine her Rejuvenating Serum with her Daily Serum because I like to feel lots of moisture on the face. Then, I apply Skinceuticals SPF 50 and Kjaer Weis Highlighter on my cheekbones. If I add a tinted moisturizer, it’s Laura Mercier Illuminating because it’s nice and light! I teach class barefoot, though, so I do have to keep my feet in check. My favorite spot to pamper myself is Tenoverten— I get the luxe pedicure once a month to combat callus buildup and exfoliate my feet and legs.”

Kirsten Potenza and Cristina Peerenboom, co-founders of POUND

A Day in The Life:“We’re self-proclaimed workout renegades who believe that life is so much bigger than just fitness.”

Beauty Philosophy:“We are the lowest of the low when it comes to maintenance, but we do believe in two things: Eating right and drinking water. You can take care of your skin intrinsically through greens, juices, healthy oils, and kombucha!"

Pre-Workout Essentials:“I always wear Kiehl’s Lip Balm #1 and bring a travel toothbrush to avoid that awkward post-workout mouth slime, plus a pot of coconut oil to smooth back my ponytail,” says Cristina.

“I bring Maybelline Volum’Express Mascara, Aveda tinted moisturizer because it’s lightweight and natural-looking, and EOS lip balm,” adds Kirsten.

Post-Workout Essentials: “I treat my skin to a refreshing wash with Skinceuticals Gentle Cleanser. Then, I’ll dab on some coconut oil for moisturizer. I always put my sweat-drenched hair into a high bun,” says Cristina.

“I like to rock my hair down during class, so to keep it from getting too big the next day, I’ll use a spray of Klorane dry shampoo and clip it back with a claw clip,” adds Kirsten.

Nicole Winhoffer, celebrity personal trainer

A Day in The Life:“Fitness is an art — it’s an expression of who you are as a person. Especially in workouts, we must do something new in order to shock your body, change your thoughts, and feel your spirit. I invented a workout mixing many different disciplines of physical and mental practice.”

Beauty Philosophy:“I feel most beautiful when I’m sweaty — there’s nothing sexier. I’m present and focused in my mind and body, and I feel alive. When I’m working out with private clients, though, I change it up with liquid liner, red lips, and a sleek pony.”

Pre-Workout Essentials:“A Shu Uemura eyelash curler, Maybelline mascara, and NARS bronzer in Casino are my essentials. I also love Serge Lutens Datura Noir, OCC Lip Tars in coral or hot pink, Weleda Arnica essential oils for muscle strains, and Goody’s thick non-metal elastics.”

Post-Workout Essentials:“Since I’m often ‘home hopping’ from clients’ houses, I always come prepared with Nivea makeup wipes, La Prairie face cream, and Diptyque body lotion.”

Kathryn Budig, yoga teacher

A Day in The Life:“I’m a yoga teacher and author who resides in Charleston, South Carolina, but travels the world teaching for a living. My regular classes are up every other week on YogaGlo, but I also hit up interval training every morning, walk my dogs during the day, and do yoga several times a week.”

Beauty Philosophy:“I’m pretty low-maintenance! I only use cruelty-free facial products and makeup, and I love a bold lip with dramatic lashes, but normally go makeup-free if I don’t have anywhere to be. I love eyelash extensions because they’re hassle-free and I don’t need to worry about mascara running down my face.”

Pre-Workout Essentials:“I always pack a crystal deodorant, Dr. Alkaitis facial toner, Doterra essential oils in geranium or peppermint, and a big bottle of lemon water. I also like Under Armour’s headbands, which have a sticky silicone which keeps them in place!”

Post-Workout Essentials:“Eminence Organics Stone Crop Spray is the best way to cool off and refresh after working out! I also use a blend of apple cider vinegar, distilled water, and essential oils to clean my face. Then, I apply Tarte Maracuja Concealer under my eyes and then use RMS Lip Shine in Sacred for a natural glow, and condition my hands with Molton Brown Black Pepper lotion.”

Amanda Freeman, founder and CEO of SLT NYC

A Day in The Life:“I plan my week of workouts around SLT — it’s a kickass class that combines cardio, strength training, and Pilates into a heart-pumping, muscle-aching sweat session. I do it every day and mix in a combo of yoga, walking or running, tennis, paddlebaording, and something different to spice it up once a week.”

Beauty Philosophy:“When I have the luxury of clear skin, I’m all about no-makeup. But, other days, my goal is to cover blemishes with as little product and fuss as possible. I have very sensitive skin, so I’m all about products with minimal ingredients. I never go to bed without washing my face and putting on undereye cream, but I keep my routine to a minimum.”

Pre-Workout Essentials:“I only exercise with a clean face, so I normally pack Clear Days Ahead facial cleanser by Philosophy, Paula’s Choice Resist Daily Pore-Refining Treatment, and simple Cetaphil. I’m also partial to the Emi-Jay hair ties because they don’t dent my hair quite as much as the regular products!”

Post-Workout Essentials:“We keep the studios stocked with essentials like Neutrogena Oil-Free Cleansing Wipes, Secret spray deodorant, and Clean & Clear Morning Burst Cleanser. Because the workouts can be tough on my hands, I love the Bliss High Intensity Hand Cream and Aquaphor.”

Lauren Boggi, creator of Lithe Method

A Day in The Life:“I’m a choreographer, designer, and mother to a three year old. Lithe is a fitness lifestyle brand that includes workout, cold-pressed juice and foods, and a studio-to-street activewear line. I currently split my time between Philly, New York, and L.A. — I’m always on the go, but Lithe is intense, so I’m pretty sweaty most of the day."

Beauty Philosophy:“I prefer minimal skin care and I don’t like to take more than 10 minutes for beauty in the mornings. I prefer products that do double duty — I can be quite high maintenance when it comes to taking care of my body, so sometimes I’ll rinse off in the shower two to three times a day from working out so much.”

Pre-Workout Essentials:“I have to have mascara, blush, and some sort of gloss on! I usually rinse my face with water, apply RMS Beauty Oil, and one coat of Maybelline Great Lash Waterproof Mascara. I have Labello lip gloss in every bag, and when I get to the studio I always mist my face with Hollow & Ridge Face Mist. I’ve never had to wear deodorant because I’ve never had B.O.! It’s genetic.”

Post-Workout Essentials:“I go with the glow. I always rinse off with Aveeno’s Active Naturals line in the shower, The Honest Company Organic Body Oil mixed with Aesop Geranium Leaf Body Balm, RMS Beauty Oil on the face, and then Laura Mercier’s Illuminating Tinted Moisturizer with Eyeko brow gel and mascara in midnight blue. Then, I’ll add a bit of Bobbi Brown’s Calypso Coral cream blush and spirtz Le Labo’s Rose 31 before heading out the door. If I’m going out for an event, I’ll pump up the lips with OCC Lip Tar in Kimber and a bit of RMS Living Luminizer!”

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↧

Someone Put Nude Photos On Jennifer Lawrence's Wikipedia Page

October 7, 2014, 8:05 pm

≫ Next: 15 Celebs Who Do Halloween Right

≪ Previous: Gym-Bag Beauty Essentials From Our Favorite Fitness Pros

Photo: REX USA/Picture Perfect.

Jennifer Lawrence's Wikipedia page was illicitly modified on Tuesday, the same day her first official statement on the nude photo hack hit the web.

According to Jezebel, "the page's featured photo briefly alternated between two of her nude photos." At the time of this writing, the page looks to be fixed, with the illicit photo only live for a reported 20 minutes.

Earlier today, Vanity Fair released snippets of their upcoming J.Lawr cover story, which features her comments on the celebrity photo scandal that dominated late-summer headlines.

"Just because I’m a public figure, just because I’m an actress, does not mean that I asked for this. It does not mean that it comes with the territory," Lawrence said. "It is a sex crime."

A similar event occurred recently after Emma Watson spoke out about gender equality at the U.N. Not long after her speech went viral, a website emerged that threatened the release of nude photos featuring Watson. While the threat proved to be an elaborate hoax, it also made it abundantly clear that women who decide to stand up for themselves face further intimidation.

The good news is that what happened to Watson in no way deterred Lawrence from lashing out against those responsible for stealing and disseminating her private photos. And, we doubt today's incident will, either. (Jezebel)

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↧

15 Celebs Who Do Halloween Right

October 7, 2014, 8:05 pm

≫ Next: Why More Marrying Couples Are Opting For Amateur Officiants

≪ Previous: Someone Put Nude Photos On Jennifer Lawrence's Wikipedia Page

Oh, celebrities. They already dress, work out, and ~~break up~~ consciously uncouple better than the rest of us. And, it turns out, they're giving us a major run for our money in the Halloween department, too. One look at Heidi Klum as an utterly believable 90-year-old woman, or Lily Allen as a martian whose skin tone just happens to match her Chanel bag will tell you that.

To help inspire us to up our Halloween game this year, we pulled together our 15 favorite famous- and fashion-folk costumes from the past few years. Click on, and never, ever be a sexy Jack Sparrow again.

Model Joan Smalls brought it all the way back to the 1989 Fred Savage/Howie Mandel flick Little Monsters.

Kelly Osbourne does the great Dame Edna justice, don't you think?

Alessandra Ambrosio's Queen of Hearts costume from 2013: Actually not that much of a stretch.

Ellen DeGeneres captioned this pic, "This Halloween, I'm putting the 'boo' in boobs." We're more impressed with her versatility than afraid, though.

Model Daisy Lowe does a damn good Jessica Rabbit.

Leandra Medine puts on her very best Glasgow smile in tribute to Thom Browne.

Pixie Geldof and model beau George Barnett prove that the couple that stripes together sticks together.

Lily Allen as Lily Alien, grass-green Chanel bag and all, darling.

Iggy Azalea as Cruella: Surprisingly fancy.

Lucky Magazine editor-in-chief Eva Chen does a super-convincing Girl That Kicked The Hornet's Nest— faux ink and all.

Rachel Zoe and Rodger Berman do their best "I Got You, Babe" tribute to Sonny and Cher.

Yep, that really is Heidi Klum underneath all those age spots!

Model Milla Jovovich captioned this pic simply, "#deadjaneausten." We don't think that hashtag is trending anywhere, and we'd like to keep it that way.

Writer Kelly Oxford as Bone Didion — gotta love a good literary pun!

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Why More Marrying Couples Are Opting For Amateur Officiants

October 7, 2014, 8:05 pm

≫ Next: 33 Flats That Work For Every Kind Of Office

≪ Previous: 15 Celebs Who Do Halloween Right

Choosing the right officiant for your wedding is a big decision. These days, more and more couples are opting to ask a close friend or family member to get ordained so they can officiate the ceremony. After all, what's more personal and heartfelt than being married by your sister, or your partner's best friend? We talked to several amateur officiants (plus one pro) to get their takes — and tips — on this popular new tradition.

“When my close friends asked if I would officiate their wedding, it was a huge honor," says photographer William Petruzzo, who officiated his friends' Maryland ceremony on May 3, 2014. "My favorite part...was the unique perspective on all the wedding energy that was happening around and through me. The bated breath between ‘By the power invested in me...’ and ‘I now pronounce you husband and wife’ has never felt so wonderfully tense and palpable."

What's Petruzzo's key tip? “Don't forget to exchange the rings! We rehearsed and rehearsed and rehearsed, and no one once thought about the ring exchanging," he notes. "I guess we were all taking it for granted. I nearly had the bride and groom walk back down the aisle without the rings on... The bride remembered them and whispered ‘Rings!’... Luckily, I had them in my pocket, and we recovered without anyone noticing. We all had a good laugh about it later.”

"I can see the personality in weddings that are officiated by someone whom the couple cares about," Petruzzo adds. "There's a different electricity about it...a whole new dimension of meaning.

"If your friend is asking you to officiate, they're probably not looking for a pro who knows how to do it perfectly. Instead, you need to do it like you. It's a good idea to look up how to officiate a wedding, but don't treat it like a rule book.

"Also, remember, ‘I love you’ is not a vow. ‘I will work day and night to keep our love alive and honest’ is a vow. If they're writing their own vows, make sure they're actually writing vows.”

"When we first asked my uncle to be our officiant, he confessed that while he was truly honored, he had a major fear of public speaking," says newlywed Jess Laird, who was married in Brooklyn in August. "Who knew!? He asked for a little time to think it over, and after a few weeks said he would be thrilled... I wrote our wedding ceremony myself, and when my uncle and I finally got on the phone to read through it, I could tell he was still really nervous.

"[After phoning] our maid of honor and best man, we told my uncle that the two of them could join him under the chuppah and take on some of the reading. He was so relieved, and it showed on the big day. Plus, having the three of them conduct the ceremony together was incredibly special. For us, 'the more the merrier' couldn't have proven to be more true."

Amateur officiant Matt D'Souza performed the wedding ceremony for his wife's cousin. "I told them I would love to do it. I meant it completely, but never thought they would take me up on it," he says. "To do a good job and not be a nervous wreck, you should do a few dry runs with the couple. I loved announcing they were married!

"If you’re not getting married in a religious venue that necessitates having a spiritual leader do the ceremony, definitely have a friend do it. It’s cheap, memorable, and fun. Just make sure you know the relevant laws of the state you are performing the marriage in," D'Souza adds.

“When my younger sibling, Mark, passed away in 2012, I tried connecting with their friends in an attempt to know my sibling better. Two of those people were Jordan and Michael," explains Michael C. Aguhar. "I came to know my sibling in new ways, and in the process came to know the friends they loved."

This past July, Aguhar officiated Jordan and Michael's wedding in Chicago. "The full spectrum of equal rights for LGBT communities is a challenging road to travel," he explains. "Same-sex marriage in Illinois was hard-fought and hard-won. Although the work continues for many marginalized LGBT people, I was proud to celebrate this one victory with Jordan and Michael. On a personal level, it was a way for me to show my thanks for their willingness to accept me into their life. On another level, it was a way for me to acknowledge the deep love Jordan and Michael have for one another... It was an opportunity for us to make a broader statement about the validity of this union between two people."

"I had several favorite parts of being an officiant," Aguhar continues. "The first is being intimately involved in the ceremony and working with the couple to create the structure and wording. The second is the moment when the ceremony starts: Friends and family turn toward the back as the procession makes its way forward... I have the perfect view of their faces as they approach me...and their tears of utter joy and happiness...the way they sometimes struggle with the vows, because words are never enough to explain our love for another person. And, most of all, the look each person gives their partner is filled with such magic and beauty that I feel privileged to witness it."

"The most important lesson I learned," adds Aguhar, "is that the couple (and their friends and family) are looking to you for stability, comfort, and guidance. It's important to stay calm throughout the process and to work with the couple to ensure the ceremony goes well.

"This is a collaborative process. Creating the structure of the ceremony with the couple is important and also helps to identify their priorities, their family traditions, and their values. It's an opportunity to personalize their wedding day while making it intimate and unique... Pick an officiant you know and trust — someone who knows you, your partner, and the love you have for one another. Pick someone...who is reliable, who won't freeze in the moment...someone who will do well but also won't outshine or seize the moment away from the couple."

"In 2004, I read an article in The New York Times about a growing need for officiants to serve non-religious couples, mixed-religious couples, and couples who wanted more of a choice in who marries them," says Austin-based professional wedding officiant Spike Gillespie, who has officiated nearly 1,000 ceremonies. "At that point, I'd already been a public speaker and professional writer for decades, so the idea leapt at me... Some friends volunteered to be my guinea pigs, and I loved performing their wedding so much, I thought, That's it; I'm in."

Gillespie's advice? "Don't pick someone fake. Do ask questions. If it doesn't feel like a good fit, then just find someone else. I think sometimes people meet potential officiants (and other vendors) and get that feeling like, 'I walked into the store, so I have to buy something.' Every year, I get quite a few calls from couples who've met with officiants or ministers [who have] no flexibility, so they are worried I'll be the same way. I'm not. I know the top reason people like working with me is that I'm extremely flexible; I give couples total control over the ceremony. I'm happy to guide them and offer samples, but I encourage them to be as creative as they'd like."

Gillespie has stuck it out so long as an officiant because, "corny but true: I love the love. I love it. I know that the couples I marry are going to face all sorts of bumps along the way — hardships, illness, arguments, financial troubles, and even (for more than 50% of them) divorce. But, in that moment when they are getting married, they are really focused on the things they love about each other. That feels great. I also love being of service to others. It's what I'm supposed to be doing.

"I encourage my couples to remember that, whatever happens, we are going to have a wedding. If they forget the license or the rings or even the dress. If the drunk, holy-rolling uncle is going to show up and be an ass. If the cake melts in the heat. If it pours rain and you had planned for everything to be outside. No matter; we are going to make it happen... Overall, weddings are like a hyper-concentrated version of day-to-day life: You make plans, you hope it all goes off perfectly, but sometimes you have to adapt and go with changes."

Gillespie's advice: "Ask an officiant what's the backup plan if he or she falls ill the day of. And, I'd make sure that you can see a copy of the full script (which you should have a hand in writing) so that there are no surprise sermons, which apparently still happen sometimes. Finally...if you spend a little more on your officiant, it could be that you're getting more for your money. In my case, that's true: I don't just show up and play the role of robo-officiant. My fee includes multiple meetings, getting to know a couple, really listening, hand-holding as necessary, and showing up early to just put folks at ease." More from Lover.ly:
Wedding Readings From Children's Books
These GIFs Show You Exactly How To Assemble Your Wedding Invitations
How To Write Your Own Wedding Vows

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33 Flats That Work For Every Kind Of Office

October 7, 2014, 8:05 pm

≫ Next: 15 Spots to Meet Your Nerdy Soulmate In NYC

≪ Previous: Why More Marrying Couples Are Opting For Amateur Officiants

Many of us have preconceived notions about businesswomen. Mainly that, sartorially speaking, all the really badass ones wear heels that go clickity-clack as they strut down the hallway to their corner offices.

However, we think that a true office rebel is one who can totally admit that her steep, pointed-toe pumps, while beautiful, absolutely destroy her feet when worn multiple days in a row. And, that in place of them, she would love to wear a pair of menswear-inspired loafers or monk-strap oxfords to rival those of her coworkers.

To keep your shoe game on its toes — whether it's in the classroom or the corporate suite — we're swapping out your go-to steppers for the 33 slightly-more-androgynous buys ahead. Which, as an added bonus, happen to be incredibly arch-friendly.

After all, when's the last time you were able to say that about a pair of pumps?

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15 Spots to Meet Your Nerdy Soulmate In NYC

October 7, 2014, 8:05 pm

≫ Next: How Spending $30K On Fertility Treatments Saved Our Finances

≪ Previous: 33 Flats That Work For Every Kind Of Office

NYC attracts cultural obsessives. It's part of what makes living here so interesting. But, it also makes dating really, really hard. How will you ever meet your soulmate when you're both at home boning up on experimental French cinema? Where can you find someone who will love you and your stacks-upon-stacks of classic comic books? Will anyone ever get your Doctor Who jokes? What's a single nerd in the city to do?

Well, the answer is simple: Don't just stay home binge-watching Buffy— get on out there! But, make sure you're heading to a place where you're bound to meet-cute with someone just your style. And, luckily for you, Nerd York City is full of places where you can do just that.

For Bookworms:

Unnameable Books
There are many great bookstores in New York City, and while almost all of them have potential for a rom-com-worthy introduction ("Oops, did I just graze your hand while reaching for that obscure Russian novel?"), Unnameable is special. It’s small and intimate, the selection is top-notch (so you know the patrons will be, too), and once you’ve decided who gets first dibs on that copy of Oblomov, you can stroll down the street to Milk Bar and have a toastie.

Unnameable Books, 600 Vanderbilt Avenue (at Saint Marks Avenue), Brooklyn; 718-789-1534.

Milk & Roses
Do you need a little lubrication to approach that literary love of yours? Chat up the lucky bibliophile amongst the gorgeous book-lined walls of this Greenpoint getaway — it's a café by day and a wine bar/restaurant by night. Because, reading never sleeps.

Milk & Roses, 1110 Manhattan Avenue (between Clay and Dupont streets), Brooklyn; 718-389-0160.

Bryant Park
The New York Public Library is a great place to peek at potential dates, but it’s a little harder to actually meet them — most rooms are too quiet for that bombastic laugh you do when you’re trying to flirt. The lawn, however, is another story. In nice weather, you can find lots of studied-out bookworms relaxing and, perhaps, looking for a friend to explore the card catalog with.

Bryant Park, 1065 Avenue of the Americas (at 42nd Street); 212-768-4242.

For Gamers:

Twenty Sided Store
Yearning to find the perfect 8th-level rogue for your 7th-level cleric? Want to meet someone who’d rather tap mana than a keg? Need a new, er, dungeon master? Swing by Brooklyn’s Twenty Sided Store, which hosts gaming events (from Magic: The Gathering to D&D to board games) every day of the week. There’s nothing like a little friendly competition to light the flames of love.

Twenty Sided Store, 362 Grand Street (at Marcy Avenue), Brooklyn; 718-963-1578.

For Television Fanatics:

The Way Station
Attention Doctor Who fans: This is a bar with a TARDIS. There’s also a themed drink menu, great music, and lots of events to break the ice between you and your next companion.

The Way Station, 683 Washington Avenue (between Prospect Place and Saint Marks Avenue), Brooklyn; 347-627-4949.

The Paley Center for Media
Sometimes, it can get a little lonely streaming Netflix on your computer. In bed. On a Friday night. With the lights off. Instead, stop by the Paley Center to catch weekend screenings of shows like '90s Nicktoons or The X-Files. You might just meet someone who will curl up with you — and make you popcorn in bed.

The Paley Center for Media, 25 West 52nd Street (between Fifth and Sixth avenues); 212-621-6600.

For Film Buffs:

Landmark Sunshine Cinema
Sure, you kinda have to keep it down once you’re inside the movie theater, but in line outside the Sunshine is a great place to strike up a conversation with a fellow Godard-head. Then, grab a seat together and split a box of Junior Mints.

Landmark Sunshine Cinema, 143 East Houston Street (between Forsyth and Eldridge streets); 212-260-7289.

Hook & Ladder
Who you gonna find loitering outside the famous Ghostbusters fire station? That’s not an evil spirit — it’s a kindred spirit.

Hook & Ladder 8, 14 North Moore Street (at Varick Street).

For Scientists:

American Museum of Natural History
For a love written in the stars, what better place to meet your Cosmos-obsessed, Neil deGrasse Tyson-quoting soulmate than under the celestial dome of the Hayden Planetarium? Or, you know, over in the main hall making jokes about dinosaur bones.

American Museum of Natural History, Central Park West & 79th Street; 212-769-5100.

Secret Science Club at The Bell House
Half lecture series, half social club, this awesome event — which hosts experts from astrophysicists to linguists to, um, poisonologists — happens once a month at Brooklyn’s Bell House. Sip the cocktail of the night (themed to the presentation), and mosey on over to the cutest person in the room. Striking up a conversation has never been so fun. (Example: "What's your poison? And, what would a poisonologist's poison be?")

Secret Science Club at The Bell House, 149 Seventh Street (between Second and Third avenues), Brooklyn; 718-643-6510.

For Techies

Apple Store
Nothing can bring two nerds closer than grousing over their technology woes while waiting for attention from the Genius Bar. The store also happens to be gorgeous, especially at night — all that illuminated glass is surprisingly romantic. If only your phone was working so you could save that number.

Apple Store, 767 Fifth Avenue (between 58th and 59th streets); 212-336-1440.

For Comic Book Geeks:

Brooklyn Superhero Supply Co.
This place doubles-down in the nerd department: It’s an awesome supply store (you’ll be asked to identify yourself by your superhero name at the door), and it's also the headquarters for the nonprofit kids writing program 826NYC. So, who will you meet there? Compassionate, literary superheroes who are good with kids. How's that for a super-power?

Brooklyn Superhero Supply Co., 372 Fifth Avenue (between Fifth and Sixth streets), Brooklyn; 718-499-9884.

Action Burger
Stuff your face and your brain at this cheery spot full of people who want to chat about both comics and fries. A winning combination, to be sure.

Action Burger, 292 Graham Avenue (at Powers Street), Brooklyn; 718-599-4376.

Gotham City Lounge
If you like your bars divey, this is the hangout for you. It has cheap beer, friendly people, and what must be a lifetime collection of comic memorabilia covering the walls. In a Batcave this cozy, your chances of unmasking that shadowy figure amongst the figurines can’t be beat.

Gotham City Lounge, 1293 Myrtle Avenue (between Cedar and Hart streets), Brooklyn; 718-387-4182.

Scott Eder Gallery
Looking for an artistic type? Take a stroll around the Scott Eder Gallery in Dumbo, the only gallery in the city dedicated to comic book art. Perhaps you can find a special someone to rewrite thought-bubble conversations with you amongst the prints.

Scott Eder Gallery, 18 Bridge Street (at John Street), #21, Brooklyn; 718-797-1100.

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How Spending $30K On Fertility Treatments Saved Our Finances

October 7, 2014, 8:05 pm

≫ Next: This New Sunglasses Collab Is A Street Style Star's Dream

≪ Previous: 15 Spots to Meet Your Nerdy Soulmate In NYC

Illustrated by Shawna Huang.

In our Money Mic series, we hand over the podium to people with controversial views about money. These are their views, not ours, but we welcome your responses.

Today, one woman shares how struggling to finance fertility treatments ultimately led to a total money transformation.

My husband, Tom,* and I have never been big spenders. We don’t own an extravagant home or drive fancy cars. In fact, prior to this year, I hadn’t bought a new vehicle in over a decade.

But, despite our modest lifestyle, saving hasn’t exactly been a strong suit for us — until recently. Whatever disposable income we had often went to short-term fun, instead of padding a rainy-day fund.

Were we jet-setting every weekend? No, but we did enjoy regular vacations, like weekend cruises and ski trips. Was I a shopaholic? Hardly, but I also didn’t see anything wrong with spending a couple hundred dollars a month on clothes. In a nutshell, we were an average couple who didn’t know how to save.

But, that all changed in 2009.

After years of trying to start a family the old-fashioned way, Tom and I turned to fertility treatments. As we progressed through the years-long process, our financial burden neared $30,000. The kicker? We had only about $2,000 in savings.

For most people, this might sound like a recipe for disaster. But, much to our surprise, tackling our fertility debt jump-started us on the road to financial freedom.

Authored by Michelle Piper*, as told to Marianne Hayes

LearnVest-How-30K-in-IVF-Treatments-02 (1)

Illustrated by Shawna Huang.

Oh, Baby! Why We Chose Pricey Fertility Treatments
After getting married in 2003, Tom and I immediately wanted to begin building our family. We’d used the cash gifts from our wedding for a down payment on a three-bedroom house in the Orlando area, and I was just beginning a career in marketing. We thought the timing was perfect — except that we soon hit a snag.

But, after about a year of not getting pregnant on our own, my doctor suggested an ultrasound to see if there was anything out of the ordinary going on. That’s when we discovered that I had endometriosis, a reproductive condition that was directly impacting my fertility.

Related: 10 Questions For A...Fertility Specialist?

In 2004 I underwent surgery to remove some large cysts, as well as one of my ovaries, and I was told afterward that fertility treatments would give us the best chance of having a baby. Once I recovered, we took a six-month break from trying, just to let it all sink in. After that, I clung to the hope that getting pregnant on our own was possible, so we gave it another go — to no avail.

It wasn’t until 2009 that Tom and I finally accepted that we needed to explore other options — and, boy, were there tons to consider. We had just $2,000 in savings at that point, but we didn’t dwell on the low balance. We really wanted a baby, so we agreed to take it one step at a time, figuring out our finances on the fly.

I started with a basic drug called Clomid that helps promote ovulation, which I was able to purchase for $4 a bottle. The small expense was really encouraging — maybe fertility treatments weren’t going to set us back that much, after all.

But, after trying Clomid and other similar drugs for several months, we still weren’t having any luck. That’s when we got more aggressive with our approach.

Artificial insemination was the natural next step — and ran us about $300 per attempt. Since the cost was modest, we were able to cover it out-of-pocket, without having to dip into our savings. I can’t remember how many cycles we did — I’ve honestly lost count — but it never put us into debt.

Illustrated by Shawna Huang.

Yet by 2011 I still wasn’t pregnant. I had mixed emotions; I wasn’t quite ready to give up, but my enthusiasm was definitely starting to wane.

Our last-ditch effort was to try in vitro fertilization (IVF) — the granddaddy of fertility treatments. In addition to being more invasive than other options, IVF was also much more expensive.

We met with a fertility specialist and decided on a plan of action — we’d sign up for six rounds of IVF — and an $18,000, 9.99% interest loan to pay for it. And, there was a catch: That $18,000 didn’t include the cost of all the pills and injections that go hand in hand with IVF, which can set you back upward of $3,000 per cycle. Plus, my insurance considered IVF a voluntary treatment, so they weren’t footing the bill.

Covering these unforeseen expenses required some creative financial footwork. Tom picked up extra shifts at his construction job, and we found someone to rent a room in our home for $450 a month, which helped us keep our savings intact and not assume any additional debt. In the end, the whole experience cost us nearly $30,000 — and the worst part is that I never got pregnant.

By the spring of 2012, I was emotionally — not to mention financially — drained.

Our Get-Fertility-Debt-Free Plan
Once we finally decided to call it quits with IVF, I shifted my focus to our debt: I wanted to be rid of it — and move on with my life.

But, before we could come up with a plan, I had to see it all in black and white. I’m a spreadsheets geek, so I created logs of our income — our full-time jobs, plus Tom’s side gig as a motorcycle mechanic — and all of our debt. It was the first time I’d ever sat down and looked at exactly where our money was going each month.

Related: This Is How You Create A Plan For Paying Off Debt

We’d started paying off the $18,000 loan in the fall of 2011, which helped put a small dent in the balance. But, we had other debt to contend with: Between our mortgage, an equity line of credit, and both our student loans, we owed another $200,000.

Seeing it all laid out in front of me was overwhelming, but I was also optimistic that we could come up with a plan to get back on our feet. My goal was simply to get started, hacking away at the balances little by little.

Illustrated by Shawna Huang.

My first order of business was to eliminate all unnecessary spending. This required sacrifices, like canceling our cable service and replacing it with Netflix and Hulu subscriptions. A friend at work also turned me onto couponing, and I began clipping for everything from groceries and toiletries to dates with Tom — a strategy that would eventually save us $5,000 a year once we got really good at it.

I also became more mindful of sales, and stopped buying new clothes so regularly. And, Tom and I quit vacationing every other month, which had been the norm prior to our fertility adventure. In total, making all of these changes shaved $900 off our budget each month.

We used this found cash — as well as our boarder’s rent — to make double payments on our IVF loan. Instead of putting $400 toward the debt each month as we had been, we paid it in $800 chunks. And, any time we found extra cash in our budget, we made even bigger payments.

Related: The One-Number Strategy — A New Approach To Budgeting

In less than six months, we fully paid off the IVF loan. It felt amazing — and brought a sense of closure about my infertility battle. And with our savings engines revved up, I couldn’t help but ask myself: What else can we pay off?

Next up: a $2,000 student loan Tom took out and our $15,000 equity line of credit balance. By keeping to our new-and-improved frugal budget and continuing our double-payments strategy, we knocked out both debts in just 10 months. In fact, since overhauling our spending habits, we’ve paid off a total of about $36,000 of our debt — and I see no signs of slowing down.

Infertility and Finances: The Lessons We Learned
In a weird way, I believe this experience has been a blessing in disguise — at least when it comes to our money. Coming face-to-face with all that debt, and having so little saved, nudged me to take stock of my financial reality.

As a result, our financial picture is the strongest it’s ever been. Aside from our mortgage — we still owe roughly $93,000 — the only debt we have is $18,000 from a used car I bought a couple months back and about $70,000 in student loans that we plan to wipe out within the next three years.

We’re also prioritizing retirement savings in a way we hadn’t before. We’re both contributing about 10% of our take-home pay to 401(k)s and Roth IRAs, and my employer kicks in another 8% through a match program that I take advantage of.

Another major lesson we learned? The importance of having an emergency fund. If we’d had more of a cushion, it might have been easier to finance our fertility treatments. Right now we have about two months’ worth of expenses saved up, with a plan to continue beefing it up until we hit six months. This, along with paying off my $70,000 in student loans, is our current financial focus.

At the end of the day, everyone has different financial targets they want to hit. Unfortunately, for Tom and me, it took a taxing personal battle to identify what exactly ours were. But, as a hardworking couple, we took away from the experience that, once you set your mind to getting financially straight, the battle isn’t quite so uphill.

As for our dream of becoming parents, Tom and I may consider adoption one day. But with so many choices and financial commitments accompanying such a huge decision, we’ll take our time — and make a financial plan first.

Next: Why I Chose To Have An Only Child

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This New Sunglasses Collab Is A Street Style Star's Dream

October 8, 2014, 9:00 pm

≫ Next: Raven-Symoné Responds To "Don't Label Me" Controversy

≪ Previous: How Spending $30K On Fertility Treatments Saved Our Finances

Some say variety is the flavor of life. But, we're pretty sure that by "variety" they mean "sugar," and lots of it. Accessories designer Lucy Folk can back us up here: Her resort '15 collection is quite a treat.

The line — aptly titled Sugar, of course — features jewelry and accessories that look good enough to eat, like sugar-cube clutches. It's also home to Folk's much-anticipated sunglasses capsule in collaboration with eyewear designer Sunshine Bertrand and i-D magazine's fashion editor-at-large, Julia Sarr-Jamois. The scallop-edged shades have names like Caramel, Candy Apple, and Liquorice.

To shop all of these delectable goods, click through the slideshow. Fair warning: Your sweet tooth may need time to recover.

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Raven-Symoné Responds To "Don't Label Me" Controversy

October 8, 2014, 9:00 pm

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Raven-Symoné held nothing back in the season premiere of Oprah: Where Are They Now. It's been a year since the notoriously private star shocked her fans when she came out via Twitter. "I can finally get married! Yay government! So proud of you," she wrote at the time.

Symoné had yet to address the tweet publicly — until Winfrey asked her about it on Sunday's episode. "So was that your way of coming out?" the host asked. "Saying you were gay?"

"That was my way of saying I'm proud of the country," Symoné replied.

While the former child star did acknowledge that she's in a committed relationship with a woman (model AzMarie Livingston), she told Winfrey that she prefers not having her sexuality pigeonholed. "I don't want to be labeled gay," Symoné said. "I want to be labeled a human who loves humans. I'm tired of being labeled."

Symoné then took her anti-label stance once step further when she told Winfrey that she doesn't identify as African American, either. "I’m not African-American — I’m American,” she told the stunned host. "You're going to get a lot of flack for saying that you're not African American, you know that," Winfrey shot back.

“I’m American, and that’s a colorless person,” Symoné said.

Symoné is hardly the first celebrity to shy away from labels surrounding one's own sexuality. The perception in Hollywood is that to be gay is to be less employable, which is why many actors choose not to discuss their sexuality in public. While some members of the gay community might be offended by Symoné's anti-label stance — and view it as a way to protect her career — it's ultimately her decision on how much of herself she'd like to reveal to the public.

Her stance on her racial identity is a touch stranger since the color of her skin and her privacy in no way intersect, but we're going to chalk that up to her obvious desire to be progressive. That's so Raven. (People Magazine)

Photo: REX USA/Everett Collection.

Update: After setting social media ablaze with the above comments, Raven-Symoné has issued a statement to website theGrio.com:

"I never said I wasn’t black … I want to make that very clear. I said, I am not African-American. I never expected my personal beliefs and comments to spark such emotion in people. I think it is only positive when we can openly discuss race and being labeled in America.”

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