Sephora’s website is already one of our favorite places to find the best beauty products without leaving our couch. Now, it’s almost dangerously convenient to shop Sephora.com, as the site just announced it’s offering nationwide delivery via Instacart. That means everything at Sephora — from your tried-and-true skincare favorites, to all the makeup you’ve been putting off trying because you want to avoid in-person shopping during the pandemic — is available for same-day delivery, sometimes as quickly as one hour after ordering. 

If you’re a resident of the United States or Canada, you can now find Sephora on the Instacart app, and as long as you live within a 30-minute drive of one of its locations, you can place an order and have it at your door the same day. Or, you also have the option to schedule your delivery for later in the week (at a time when you know you’ll be home for immediate unboxing).

Not only do you still earn Beauty Insider points on each Sephora order you place via Instacart, but there are no additional shipping fees. Yes, you read that right: You pay the same as you would in store. So when coronavirus and election news throws you into a funk that can only be lifted with an at-home manicure or a luxurious bubble bath, you can plan for it at a moment’s notice. (If you’re plotting the latter, we recommend ordering a box of Oreos while you’re at it.)

This past year, Instacart went from being a convenient way to shop to an essential during lockdown, while we’re all trying to stay as socially distanced as possible. With most of the country in various stages of re-opening, and many of us still avoiding brick-and-mortar shopping environments whenever possible, this is a game-changer. 

As if all of this wasn’t enough of an incentive, the delivery service is celebrating the new partnership with a giveaway: If you shop Sephora on Instacart this week, you could be entered to win a $500 credit toward future Sephora purchases. So next time you drain your moisturizer in the morning or think you might want to try out a new shade of lipstick for your next Zoom meeting, you can add it to your Instacart and have it at your door by end of day.

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Over the course of a deeply frustrating week, Amy Coney Barrett provided non-answer after non-answer to the Senate Judiciary Committee during her rushed Supreme Court confirmation hearing. Prior to dodging questions from Republicans and Democrats alike, though, Barrett neglected to disclose anti-abortion speeches she gave as a professor at the Univeristy of Notre Dame, as well as a letter she signed calling for the dismantling of Roe v Wade and the criminalization of IVF. Now, as the committee prepares to send her nomination to the Senate floor for a vote, another revelation of Barrett’s past has emerged: her barbaric decision to overturn a ruling in favor of a pregnant rape victim. And once again, Barrett is proving to be an undeniable threat to victims of sexual assault.

On Oct. 16, Salon reported that during her tenure as an appellate court judge, Barrett voted to overturn a district court ruling that found a county in Wisconsin “liable for millions in damages to a woman who alleged she had been repeatedly rape by a jail guard.”

“After a 19-year old pregnant prison inmate was repeatedly raped by a prison guard, Amy Coney Barrett ruled that the county responsible for the prison could not be held liable because the sexual assaults fell outside of the guard’s official duties. Her judgment demonstrates a level of unconscionable cruelty that has no place on the high court,” Kyle Herrig, president of the watchdog group Accountable.US, told Salon. 

But this unconscionable judicial ruling made by the Republican’s purposefully manufactered buttress of “conservative family values and morality” is just one of her many past judicial decisions that highlight how severely Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett will harm sexual assault survivors. 

Prior to the passage of the Affordable Care Act, which made it possible for 20 million Americans to secure health insurance, being a victim of sexual assault and/or rape (as well as domestic violence) was designated as a “pre-existing condition” and grounds for refusing health care coverage. If Barrett ascends to the Supreme Court and rule to gut the Affordable Care Act — a likely possibility, given that in 2017 she wrote that “Chief Justice Roberts pushed the Affordable Care Act beyond its plausible meaning to save statute” and in 2015 claimed the dissenting judges in a ruling that also upheld the ACA had “the better of the legal argument” — victims of rape and/or sexual assault could once again be legally denied health care coverage. 

And if Roe v Wade does fall — another credible inevitability, given Barrett’s anti-abortion sentiments and history of speaking at “pro-life” events while supporting “pro-life” organizations — at least 10 states will immediately make abortion access illegal, the consequence of what are known as  “trigger laws.” The laws, which would go into effect as soon as the constitutional right to have an abortion is no longer protected by federal law, would include bans on abortion with no exception for rape or incest cases. In other words, if you’re one of the one in five women who will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime, and you live in Arkansas, Idaho, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, North Dakota, Missouri, Tennessee, South Dakota and Utah, you could be legally forced by the state to carry a pregnancy resulting from rape to term. 

Barrett has also argued that Title IX anti-discrimination protections should not be extended to transgender students, claiming that it’s a “strain on the text of the statue.” One 2005 study found that one in two trans people are sexually assaulted or abused during their lifetime, and that perpetuated shame, stigma, and anti-LGBTQ sentiments can inhibit a trans victim of sexual assault from coming forward and subjecting themselves to necessary physical exams or medical treatments. And when lesbian, gay, and bisexual people experience sexual violence at higher rates than cis or straight people, having a judge on the Supreme Court who believes their sexual orientation is a “preference” only stands to cause them additional harm. 

Barrett refused to answer straightforward questions about her judicial positions in an attempt to shield her true identity from the American people. But all the tip-toeing and question-dodging can’t hide the truth her past judicial rulings have long-revealed about who she is as a person, as a judge, and who she will be as a Supreme Court Justice — a living, breathing detriment to sexual assault survivors everywhere.

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In the United States, more than 10 million adults experience domestic violence annually, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, and even more people may be at risk right now, with COVID-19 keeping people at home. Being friends with someone who’s experiencing partner abuse can be terrifying — and frustrating, since it can be hard to know what you can do to help.

We turned to Angela Lee, director of loveisrespect, a project of the National Domestic Violence Hotline that aims to support young people in abusive relationships, for help. She notes that abuse can come in many different forms — physical, emotional, verbal — and that as such, no two abusive relationships look the same, and there are no blanket strategies that work in all situations. But she gave Refinery29 some general advice about how to be there for a friend who you suspect or know is experiencing domestic violence.

First, be aware of warning signs

Lee stresses that no abuse looks or presents exactly the same. But she points to some common red flags: if your friend seems to receive a constant stream of texts and calls from their partner; if their behavior or mood changes; if they seem on edge; if it’s really hard to get in touch with them; if their partner seems to frequently blame them for arguments or situations.

Basically, if your friend is acting noticeably different in any way or you can just sense that something is up, that might mean it’s time for you to start a conversation with them.

Create a safe space for them

If you suspect that a friend may be experiencing partner abuse, the biggest mistake you can make is not reaching out to them at all, Lee says. Exactly how you reach out, though, depends on your friend, and your relationship to them, she says. In general, you can start the conversation with a gentle question, like asking how things are going with the partner, what happens with their partner when situations escalate, or if they have any concerns. “You want to make sure to create a safe space where they can talk to you,” Lee says. She points out that when someone is experiencing abuse, they may feel ashamed and afraid of being judged. So providing a comforting, affirming space should be one of your main goals.

During your talk, prioritize making them feel supported. “You have to make sure you’re normalizing their feelings and reactions, but also calling it out,” she explains. “If someone says, ‘I’m so tired of them accusing me of cheating,’ you can name that and say, ‘That might be emotional or verbal abuse.'”

Make sure to ask them how you can help, Lee says. “It’s okay to say that that they deserve to be treated with respect. But give them space to share their story without judgement.”

Call in the experts

While there’s no doubt you’d do everything you can for your friend in need, in this situation, it can be helpful — even life-saving — to ask an expert for support. “A lot of times, you’re not sure if this is abuse,” Lee says. “We hear that a lot. It’s always important to reach out to experts to help you identify that.” If you don’t know where to start, you can reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline to help you figure out how you can best support your loved one.

This is also a helpful tip if your friend doesn’t walk to talk to you about their relationship or gets defensive. (That’s common, Lee says.) You don’t have to force the issue, but try to tell them about resources they can reach out to if they need help, including the NDVH and Lee’s organization, loveisrespect. “We’re going to ask the right questions and we’re going to come up with the next steps and safety plans together,” she explains. “We want to make sure that the victim’s emotional and physical safety is priority.”

Center their safety

Helping your friend create a safety plan may very well be the most important thing you can do, besides the initial reach out, Lee says. “You have to understand and assess their safety because maybe they’ve been threatened,” she explains. You can hold onto copies of their important documents, for instance, in case they need to leave their house in a rush, or come up with some type of code words, Lee suggests. You can help them document instances of abuse.

You can also ask them how they’d like you to respond in moments of crisis: Should you call a family member? Are they comfortable with you calling law enforcement? “If they are open to it, encourage them to reach out to a trained advocate at the National Domestic Violence Hotline, where they can create a safety plan unique to their situation,” says Lee.

Try to be patient

You may want to, but you can’t force your friend to leave before they’re ready. “The main thing I’d say don’t do is try to force someone to do something that they don’t want to do. You have to be careful about that. You want to empower the person to make the right decisions for themselves,” Lee says. “You should not tell your friend what to do and you should not victim-blame. If they ask for you not to betray their trust, try to respect that.”

Try to be supportive, patiently listen, and honor their decisions. “It’s also important to emphasize that abuse is never their fault, and they deserve a healthy relationship,” Lee says. “You have to continue to be supportive of them even if you disagree with their choices.” And remember, the only thing you can do wrong in these situations is to abandon your friend — they need you, even if it’s just you saying, “I’m here if you need me.”

If you are experiencing domestic violence, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224 for confidential support.

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In a recent interview, Ivanka Trump admitted that, during the pandemic, she and her family have “reconnected to some of life’s simple pleasures.” This includes dusting off their board games and, for her, taking up a new instrument.

“I took up playing guitar because my husband was working very late nights,” the White House senior advisor said in footage shared by The Recount. “I come home, and after I put the kids to bed and after I went back online and finished my work, I’d be sitting there. So I taught myself, or am teaching myself, how to play guitar.”

This isn’t the first time Ivanka has opened up about her pandemic musical ambitions. Earlier in the year, she first mentioned that she had picked up guitar, and also said that she has been getting into the classics. “So I’ve got a Coursera free course going in Greek and Roman mythology so I’m rereading The Odyssey, and I’ve started to learn to play the guitar,” Ivanka said back in April.

We can only guess what songs Ivanka has learned how to play, but the image of her plucking at beginner chords while trying to carry a tune is special, to say the least. (SNL, are you listening? Get Scarlett Johansson back on.) 

Ivanka has 24 public playlists on Spotify, which have been the source of a lot of speculation since 2017, so we can at least glimpse into her soul music tastes by analyzing those. One of them, long considered Ivanka and Jared Kushner’s 21-minute sex playlist, features such middle school-dance standbys as “All of Me” by John Legend and “Stay with Me” by Sam Smith, and we can definitely see her strumming one of those when she’s waiting for Jared to come home from working late at the White House, bungling the administration’s coronavirus response. If she needs to feel empowered, perhaps she plays “Feeling Myself” by Nicki Minaj and Beyoncé or “You Be Killin’ ‘Em” by Fabolous from her “(Very) Long Run” playlist. (“Girl, you be killin’ ‘em” — here’s hoping she doesn’t take that literally.) 

But the most Ivanka of Ivanka’s playlists is called “Work: Boost,” which features “#GETITRIGHT” by Miley Cyrus, “Hold On” by Wilson Phillips, and “Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift. After failing to “#GETITRIGHT” all day and struggling to “Hold On” to power, we can definitely see Ivanka trying to stay positive by playing “Shake It Off,” a.k.a. the universal cheesy I-had-a-bad-day-at-work anthem. Too bad Taylor Swift endorsed Joe Biden.

Ivanka Trump says that during the pandemic she's been playing board games and learning guitar. pic.twitter.com/Bf3kR96QER

— The Recount (@therecount) October 19, 2020

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The news that my father had passed came in the form of a phone call on a Monday afternoon in August. While I’d been waiting for the call for months — he was terminally ill — I wasn’t prepared for the feeling of waking up with a father and hanging up the phone without one. Among the many initial feelings I felt, all overwhelmed with a sense of numbness, I had the strong urge to find and put on the only thing I had from him with me: a bucket hat, sitting in my bottom drawer. I sat on my bed for the rest of the day with the hat on my head, confused about what to do next. That night, I slept with it beside me. 

The COVID-19 pandemic has changed what it looks like to lose a loved one for many. While my father didn’t die of COVID, the restrictions in his dementia facility made it difficult and, for months, impossible for my family to visit him in his final months. The mandatory quarantine and travel restrictions in New Zealand, where my family is based, meant flying home from the U.S. for the funeral wasn’t an option. Instead, I watched the funeral over FaceTime, his hat in my hand.

During the first month after his death, the only consistent thing about my grieving was the bucket hat. Surrounded by friends that had never met him and unable to hold family, his hat sat on my desk while I attempted to get back to work, went with me on my walks or trips to the beach, and slept next to me in bed. While recording my speech for his funeral, I spoke it to his hat just behind my laptop camera, in an attempt to feel closer to the funeral and, ultimately, to him. 

I wasn’t alone in using an article of clothing to help grieve. While on a walk with my friend Zach, who also lost his father during this time, I noticed that he was wearing a hat I’ve never seen before. When he explained that it was also his father’s cap, we shared a moment in laughing at ourselves for wearing our “dead dad hats.”

Dr. Alan Wolfelt, grief counselor and Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition, calls these “linking objects.” “They help link us to the physical presence of the person who died,” he explains. “They’re sort of temporary stand-ins for the person, and they help us feel closer to them, as well as access and express all of our normal grief emotions.” With hundreds of thousands of people losing loved ones from a distance during this time, and being unable to say goodbye due to the safety protocols or travel restrictions in place, Dr. Wolfelt says these objects have become a common response in the grieving process.

“With COVID, we can’t get together, so we’re struggling. We’re still grieving but can’t lean on all the mourning rituals that help us move through our early grief,” he explains. “Without that structure, we tend to feel lost and adrift. In addition to Zoom calls and phone calls, we’re relying more on linking objects and photos.” He notes that while these physical objects are helpful in the grief process, they can’t replace gathering in person to mourn someone. (For this reason, he suggests planning multiple ceremonies, using at-home rituals, and postponing, rather than canceling, in-person gatherings until it’s safe.) 

Anyone that met my dad would not be surprised that the “linking object” I felt naturally drawn to was a hat. A practical and kind man of few words and of few possessions, he would often be seen in it while out in the garden, growing beans and mowing the lawn. In speaking with Zach, I discovered his father’s hat was just one in the pile of items he had put aside, including bowling and work shirts, a stuntman’s hat, and keepsakes from his work in the TV and film, an industry in which Zach works also. 

“The day after my dad passed, the first thing my mom wanted to do was clear out his closet and purge everything so that’s what we did the entire first day,” he said. “A couple of weeks later, my sister and my mom were like, ‘Why did we do that?’” Zach said that he was grateful that he’d put aside some of the items his dad wore when he was his age. “He was probably doing the same thing at my age,” he said. “And I think seeing him and myself in the same clothing was a reminder of that.” 

Dr. Ajita M. Robinson, grief and trauma expert and author of The Gift of Grief, says searching for reminders through objects is normal, noting that the separation caused by the pandemic might have exacerbated the need for a physical or symbolic connection. “For any of us who are visual and need those cues, it helps ground us in the reality of what we’ve lost,” she says. “Although the physical relationship has ended, the spiritual or personal doesn’t ever end.” Physical objects can also help people through one of the biggest fears that arise during the grieving process — that you’ll forget details about your loved one as time passes.

Personally, wearing the hat helped me to confront the grief head-on, something which Dr. Robinson says is important in the long-term. She says that the pandemic has resulted in a “breeding ground for complex grief and trauma,” with not just the death of loved ones impacting our mental health, but also the number of deaths happening as a result of COVID, combined with the symbolic losses that we’re all feeling, such as loss of routine, loss of safety, and loss of normality. “If we’re not able to name the grief or recognize it, it means that it’s just accumulating without resolve,” she explains. “We’re not moving through the grief process, we’re stuck and frozen.”

In this time of collective grief, both Dr. Wolfelt and Dr. Robinson stress the importance of finding personal rituals and connections with communities in order to move through the grieving process. Like all grief, this will look different for everyone. While Dr. Robinson recommends support groups and creative rituals like journaling, my early grieving involved wearing the bucket hat. More recently, I’ve found writing to be more helpful, compiling a list of things I loved about my dad and noting down stories. 

As I continue to come to terms with the immense loss across the other side of the world from my family, the hat, that I no longer wear every day, isn’t going anywhere. Firmly planted on the desk beside my bed, it now serves as a reminder of the goodbye I wish I could have said in person to the man I wish I never had to say goodbye to.

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Assuring a small crowd that she does, in fact, have some gay friends, Tiffany Trump took a chaotically hands-on role in her father’s reelection campaign this week by hosting a Trump Pride event in Florida. On Monday night, the youngest Trump daughter spoke at a (very maskless) rally at the Westshore Grand Hotel where she confirmed that the president does support “gays, lesbians, the LGBTQIA+ community, okay!”

“I know what my father believes in,” Trump said before saying something her father definitely doesn’t believe in. “Prior to politics, he supported gays, lesbians, the LGBTQIA+ community.” She then began criticizing the “fabricated lies” about her father and her friends for believing them. “I have friends of mine who reached out. They make up stories,” Trump continued. ‘“How could you support your father? We know you. We know your best friends are gay.’” Okay!

But before doubling down on the president’s never-before-seen support of LGBTQ+ people, Trump emerged onto the stage dancing to the Black Eyed Peas’ 2009 bop “I Gotta Feeling,” giving off extreme crazy aunt energy. Later on in her speech, she whipped up excitement in the audience, before motioning to her mom, Marla Maples, in the front row who stood up and excitedly smiled and waved. And wouldn’t you believe it: Marla also has LGBTQ+ friends! Then, suddenly, Trump’s tone quickly shifted when she brought up her mom’s friend passing of AIDS (we cannot make this stuff up).

The daughter he knows nothing about representing a community he knows nothing about 💛 pic.twitter.com/uLkl5RhbO4

— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) October 20, 2020

absolutely nothing will prepare you for the tone shift in this video. i think my neck just broke pic.twitter.com/UQ9eoLigkx

— David Mack (@davidmackau) October 20, 2020

Trump — and the event’s website — maintained the same message throughout: the president has always supported the LGBTQ+ community. Because, apparently, banning transgender people from serving in the military, making it possible for LGBTQ people to be discriminated against when seeking medical care, appointing circuit court judges with known anti-LGBTQ bias, and attempting to change the legal definition of gender are the actions of allyship, I guess.

“President Donald J. Trump is the only President to openly support the LGBT community since his first day in office,” the event website reads. “President Trump stands in solidarity with LGBT citizens by supporting and enacting policies and initiatives that protect the wellbeing and prosperity of all gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender Americans.” 

But advocates immediately called out the baseless claims made throughout the event. In a statement from Michele Rayner, civil rights attorney and the first Black queer woman elected to the Florida House of Representatives, published in the South Florida Gay News, she said, “Donald Trump is delusional if he thinks he can spend three years attacking our rights and then turn around and ask for our vote. Waving a rainbow flag for an afternoon means nothing after his administration appointed dozens of anti-LGBTQ judges to federal courts, codified discrimination against transgender Americans, and are fighting to overturn the Affordable Care Act, and its protections for our community.”

While it’s great that Tiffany Trump used her rally moment to prop up LGBTQ+ rights, and remind us all that she has gay friends, no one really believes the Trump administration is in any way supportive of LGBTQ+ rights. This was some kind of parody, right? No? Okay.

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There’s something so intrinsically beautiful and versatile about textured hair: It can be braided into classic cornrows, twisted up into Bantu knots (or moños), or run free, naturally. Each style serves as a form of self-expression, capturing the wearer’s personality, essence, or mood in any given moment. 

And yet, growing up, so many women of color were told that only glossy, straight strands were considered acceptable, and their curls and coils were not — whether it was through visual cues broadcasted by mainstream media, hurtful comments from their peers, or an insistence from their family to get their hair chemically relaxed. Throw multiracial and multicultural diversity into the mix, and this already strained relationship with hair becomes that much more complicated. It’s a shared experience that’s felt by most Afro-Latinx women. And now, at a time when it’s more important than ever for BIPOC women to celebrate their heritage and make their voices heard, many are not only reconciling both sides of their identity but also shattering oppressive beauty standards in order to create their own. Such is the case with Evelynn Escobar-Thomas, Marlene Luciano, and Ryan Alexandra Petit, who each have a unique hair story to tell.

Here, these three Afro-Latinx women walk us through their transformative hair journeys, pinpointing the hurdles, the safe spaces in which they have felt they could experiment with their curls, the women who’ve guided them, and the moment they each learned to love and embrace their hair.

When Evelynn Escobar-Thomas arrived in Guatemala with her aunts, the then-college student was excited to visit her family’s home country for the first time. As they roamed the streets of Antigua, she heard a stranger aggressively yell at them: “Morenas, morenitas,” a term that referenced their brown complexions. Instantly, the words brought the Guatemalan-American creative back to her childhood. 

“I remember, as a kid, I hated that term because it made me feel othered,” Escobar-Thomas says. And to this day, it still brings up vivid memories of social gatherings or school functions where she was one of the few, if not the only person of color. But her mother’s affirming words about her identity have always grounded the 28-year-old social media marketing consultant. “My mom always emphasized: you’re Black and you’re Guatemalan. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re anything else.” 

Growing up in a predominantly white, northern Virginia suburb, those words remained in the back of her mind as she navigated questions surrounding her Afro-Latinx identity and naturally curly hair. She remembers wanting to fit in and not “stick out too much in school,” which prompted her to straighten her hair for middle school prom and other special occasions. However, by senior year of high school, Escobar-Thomas entered a new phase of confidence: “I really started to believe that my hair is something I should be proud of and wear out; I should embrace it instead of trying to morph it into something that it’s not.” 

Her pride was tested by classmates and teachers alike. “I had one teacher in high school who said, ‘You have that kinky, Latina hair,’” she recalls. “Then I remember being in the hallways, having my hair out, and people thinking that my hair was fake.” 

Despite her hair being a point of contention, her mother and grandmother, who both share the same complexion as Escobar-Thomas, and other female family members, made sure her curls were celebrated. Though she preferred her long tresses away from her face, they encouraged the exact opposite. 

“That was probably the biggest struggle as a kid, always wanting my hair back and out of my face, off of my shoulders, and off my neck, while my family was like, ‘Wear it down, it’s so pretty,’” she says. “Now, I agree with them and can see why they were saying that, but back then, oh my God, I wanted it away from me.” 

Escobar-Thomas recognizes that she needed every twist and turn in her hair journey to arrive at this place of acceptance. “I wish I had fully embraced my hair sooner,” she reflects, “and not have had to go through the heat damage of straightening my hair and just fully appreciated what I had.” 

For 33-year-old Marlene Luciano, her natural, voluminous hair has always been a playground to explore and experiment with new hairstyles. Whether it was adding a pop of color to her 3C texture or chopping it all off into a celebrity-inspired pixie, the Harlem-born multi-hyphenate creative has never shied away from making a statement — even in middle school.

“I remember wanting to color my hair, and my mother, who is a professional hairstylist, gave me blonde bangs in fifth grade,” Luciano says. “I appreciate that my mom was open about it and was like, ‘Okay, cool. You want blonde bangs, here you go.’” 

Though her mother has naturally straight hair, she encouraged Luciano to retain her curls, helping her to style them. Still, despite the support, it didn’t stop her from looking to celebrities for inspiration. Like so many young Afro-Latinx women, Luciano buried herself in magazines, turning the pages in search of representation. “I have always been obsessed with magazines, since I was a kid,” she says. “But even the Spanish[-language] ones, everybody on the cover was always white.” 

Coming of age in the ’90s and early ’00s, there were very few celebrities she identified with — but then along came one particular Afro-Latinx singer/songwriter, whose look was a full, multi-hued afro that directly influenced Luciano’s hairstyle. “She’s Afro-Latina like me and her hair texture was like mine — and so that was when I started to shape my hair like a round ‘fro,” she recalls.

Friends saw her confidence shine through in her hair, but others laughed or made snide remarks about her curls. “One time, I remember walking to the bodega and somebody rolled down their car window,” she remembers. “It was an adult, a grown man, and he was like, ‘Péinate! [Brush your hair!]’” 

Those incidents didn’t rattle her, but, as she got older and began modeling and acting, the way she styled her hair and how she identified were called into question. In 2012, Luciano moved to Los Angeles to pursue her career and quickly learned there weren’t as many Dominicans in the area — a stark difference from heavily concentrated Dominican neighborhoods on the East Coast. She went on countless job interviews and was asked to straighten her hair on several occasions. “I don’t mind straightening my hair because it’s fun to switch it up,” she says, “but I shouldn’t have to do that every day to go to a job.” 

Representation in media is sparse, but she’s hoping, as an Afro-Latinx woman, to change that. “I’m a girl from New York that sounds like how I sound and looks like how I look, which is important,” she says, “because I want other girls and women to turn on the TV and see that I’m someone they can relate to.”

Ryan Alexandra Petit’s earliest memory is of sitting on the floor — with an assortment of combs, brushes, clips, and products laid out — as her mother yanked a comb or a pick through her hair. “I have 4C hair, so it’s very thick and extremely, extremely kinky,” the 26-year-old writer and photographer says. “Whatever I had on my head, I didn’t want it.” 

Though her mother has a similar texture, she grew tired of dealing with her daughter’s coils and, at 11, put a relaxer in Petit’s hair; the then-sixth grader’s afro-textured strands became pin straight. At 14, she traded plaits and box braids for sew-in weaves, which became her new routine: Go to the salon, get a relaxer and sew-in installed, repeat. With her hair transformation came a shift in the way she and others viewed her beauty. 

“The response that I was getting from the community was a lot more positive than it was when I was natural,” she says. “And that’s something I realized at a young age: people blatantly telling me that I looked prettier with straighter hair.”

As a dark-skinned Afro-Latinx woman, who was born in Caracas, Venezuela and raised in Orlando, FL, Petit’s hair, race, nationality, and ethnicity were always called into question. “I knew I was Black and could speak Spanish, and I was from Venezuela, but I’m also Haitian,” she says. “Growing up, I couldn’t explain to people what I was. I never denied that I was from Venezuela, but I did hold back in telling people where I was born only because it seemed unbelievable.” 

Her classmates picked up on her accent and immediately jumped to the conclusion she wasn’t American. She felt like an outsider; she felt unaccepted. Even other students with similar backgrounds refused to welcome her or acknowledge their shared ancestry. 

But with age, Petit has settled into her full existence unapologetically. And after seeing how two of her close college friends embraced their natural texture, wearing it with pride, it sparked an interest in her to return to her natural tresses. After removing her purple ombre box braids, she discovered her then-silk-pressed, shoulder-length hair wouldn’t curl when wet. She took it as a sign to chop it all off. 

Petit wore her hair as a tapered cut for nearly a year before growing it out. Now, she’s embarking on a loc journey, which coincidentally enough, parallels another — one toward accepting her cultural and racial identity. In the last year, she’s worn 11 large, wick-style faux locs as she transitions to permanent ones. “I am who I am — love it or leave it. This is me,” Petit affirms. “I don’t want to hide who I am anymore.” 

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Warning: This article contains descriptions of sexual assault.

In Grand Army’s pilot, there’s a bomb — that is, a literal one. An explosion from a few blocks over sends the students of Grand Army High School into lockdown, and if you think the show might get a little less intense from there on out, you’re going to be in for a shock. Netflix’s newest teen drama, Grand Army, is unflinching in its depiction of harsh, often unjust, and occasionally hopeful realities of contemporary high schoolers. But although there’s pain, there’s also hope, community, and an unforgettable lineup of students unafraid to fight back against the bullshit.

Like its genre predecessors Degrassi and Skins, Grand Army follows an ensemble cast of teenagers each dealing with their own trauma, issues, and fears. The characters are all students at the same competitive public high school in Brooklyn, but that’s about the only thing they have in common. There’s Sid (Amir Bageria), a star student-athlete with Harvard aspirations and a secret that could upend his reputation at school. Then there’s Dominique (Odley Jean), a focused and hardworking basketball star with dreams of becoming a psychologist and troubles at home. Rounding out the main cast is insecure freshman Leila (Amalia Yoo), talented musician Jayson (Maliq Johnson), and feminist provocateur Joey (Odessa A’zion). 

Although there are a ton of characters, stories, and themes packed into just nine episodes, many of them start to overlap, especially as the show progresses — which is why this recap, tracing every turn, twist, and introduction, might come in handy. Ready to head back to high school? Let’s go.

Episode 1: “Brooklyn, 2020”

Grand Army’s first few images immediately set the mood for the show. A rusty trash can; a balled-up nest of hair. Vandalism on the locker room wall asks, “Ladies, what’s better: a good fuck or a good shit? VOTE!” (A good shit is winning.) Evident cool girl Joey Del Marco (Odessa A’zion) walks into a stall, gives her teary-eyed friend Gracie (Keara Graves) a quick pep talk, and proceeds to dislodge a condom from inside her vagina. The entire time, she’s completely unphased, as if this is just another weekday. Already, we can tell this is a no-holds-barred teen drama in the vein of Euphoria — but maybe without the glitter and the Southern California glamour.

As Joey and Grace do their thing, we’re introduced to three more members of Grand Army’s ensemble cast: Dominique, aka Dom (Odley Jean), and her friends Tamika (Brittany Adebumola) and Sonia (Naiya Ortiz). We learn several facts in succession: Dom’s friends pay her to do their hair, Dom has a crush who barely knows she exists, and, from the trio’s station outside the stall, it really sounds like Joey and Gracie are hooking up. Joey retrieves the condom, proudly flails it around the locker room, and tosses it… where it lands right by Leila Kwan Zimmer’s (Amalia Yoo) Doc Martens. Leila scuttles away, Joey threatens anyone who might want to “talk shit” about her friend, and Dom asks Gracie, who understandably begins to panic, if she took a Plan B. 

As Dom and Joey walk into the gym side by side, it’s clear that they’re not at all friends but they do respect each other, somewhat. Joey also catches Dom eyeing John Ellis (Alphonso Romero Jones II) and suggests she approach him. This is the kind of thing Joey — and maybe Dom’s friends — would be bold enough to do, but Dom seems comfortable pining away. For now.

If I’ve learned anything from my favorite grittier teen dramas, it’s that I should downright fear the moment Grand Army pivots to its alpha male leads. My intuition is correct: instead of meeting Dom’s crush, we’re thrown into a squad of obnoxious swim team guys. They unapologetically walk right into Leila, causing her to drop her phone, and then leer at her as she walks away. As if to cement the fact that this is a Nate Jacobs kind of friend group, they then immediately turn on Sid Pakam (Amir Bageria) and start harassing him about whether he’s slept with his girlfriend yet.

After the boys, we move to Leila, who’s mid-presentation about Judaism in China. Some nearby Chinese students snicker; one calls her a “whore” in Mandarin. As she did after Joey tossed a condom in her direction, Leila copes by sending her friend some generic “I’m miserable here, wish we were watching The Walking Dead right now” texts. This moment, more than anything we’ve seen so far, reminds me of my own high school experience.

Still following? Good — because we have even more new characters. Friends Jayson (Maliq Johnson) and Owen (Jaden Jordan) are already a much nicer alternative to Sid’s circle of friends. They’re riding the high of a successful music audition, and after they grab some lunch from a nearby halal guy, they thank him by name. Maybe I’m making snap judgements, but I just know the swim team boys would never.

Cut to Jayson and Owen, now back at Grand Army. When a bomb goes off a few blocks away, the stories of all the students we’ve just met — from Jayson and Owen to Joey to Leila — begin to converge. A teacher snaps at Jayson and Owen for goofing around, and meanwhile, the swim team guys are hard at work on an Instagram account devoted to Grand Army girls with “bomb pussy.” (Did I mention I hate them?) They start pestering Sid, asking for him to fork over a name for the account, but he shakes them off, busy texting his sister and girlfriend and making sure they’re both okay. In response, they threaten to put his younger sister on the list. 

Sid ditches his friends to go find his sister, but instead, he runs into Leila, who begins lamenting about how miserable both her day and overall freshman year have been. The main takeaway here is that Leila’s adopted, and although she loves her parents, she feels isolated and confused. The other takeaway is that Sid is a great listener and needs to be saved from the bastion of toxic masculinity that is his friend group. Unfortunately, just minutes later, swim team ringleader George (Anthony Ippolito) texts him again and demands a name. With a sigh, Sid sends Leila’s.

Back in the other room, Dom and her friends are chatting about whether or not to head to a massive party (for John-related purposes) later that night. Jayson interrupts to ask Sonia for money, and when she explains she already gave her cash to Dom earlier in the locker room, he swipes Dom’s bag. Owen, snickering next to Jayson, grabs the wallet, and Dom is pissed. Joey, who’s sitting nearby and fielding texts from her emotionally estranged dad, tries to step in, and Jayson and Owen toss the bag back and forth until Ms. Wilder — the same teacher from before — reprimands them, then chastises Joey for wearing gym shorts.

In the moments that follow, both Joey and Leila learn that they made it onto the Instagram account. Leila, for her part, is thrilled just to be noticed, but Joey finds out from her soft-spoken, clearly smitten friend Tim (Thelonius Serrell-Freed) and her bravado fades for a moment of genuine discomfort. Dom is upset for a completely different reason: Jayson dropped her wallet down the stairwell, and by the time she finds it, $200 is missing.

After all the drama and trauma of the day, almost all the students head to a party. Joey’s there with her posse: Tim, Tim’s wholesome sister Anna (Sydney Meyer), and swim team jerks Luke (Brian Altemus) and George. Leila’s mom drops her off out front. Sid’s making out with his girlfriend, Flora (Marcela Avelina), but he clearly has other things on his mind. The only student who’s nowhere to be found? Dom, who has to stay home and look after her siblings.

In a move that’s predictable but still upsetting to watch, Leila and George get together. But there’s a kicker. Remember Gracie, Joey’s friend from the show’s opening scene? Turns out, that condom mishap was the result of a hookup with George, and she’s not too happy to see him kiss Leila in front of hordes of people. Gracie promptly throws a drink at her, which sends her staggering backwards, knocking Luke down the stairs. It’s a fun, frothy sequence amid all the heavier issues and teases we’ve already seen in episode 1.

Speaking of heavy: “I’m going to teach you things you’ll never forget,” someone types. We can’t tell who it is, or what this means. But before that, a stunning closing shot shows Tim and Joey escaping the party and jumping on the back of a subway car. When Joey screams, Tim screams, too. And then, whether it’s because of her dad, her altercation with Ms. Wilder, the bomb, or just the day’s emotional ramifications, she cries.

Episode 2: See Me

Episode 2 starts right where episode 1 left off: with an ominous message that may or may not set the mood for the next 45 minutes. “This isn’t a cry for attention,” someone writes. Then, we cut to Jayson and Owen, busking at a subway stop in the hopes of raising the money Dom needs. We see Joey, getting dressed and texting Tim about her plans to get revenge on Mrs. Wilder while either a voiceover from either a podcast or news reporter discusses racial profiling. Joey’s dad warns her not to get into trouble; Joey retorts that he’s not in a place to police her actions. Then, we’re off to school.

Grand Army is about teenagers taking a stand, and it looks like the school’s sexist dress code is Joey’s first battle. “My body is not the problem,” she writes on Instagram. “My politics are not the problem… your thoughts are. Braless. Boundless. Blow up the patriarchy.” Using language like “blowing up” might too much after a bomb explosion, but I can get behind Joey’s overall message. 

Joey’s message immediately reaches at least one person: Meera (Ashley Ganger), Sid’s younger sister, who’s oscillating between texting her friends about the no-bra protest, defending Sid from their overbearing parents at the breakfast table, and talking a mile a minute about her upcoming feminist art show. This opening vignette might not be as relevant, plot-wise, as Joey’s or Jayson and Owen’s, but Meera is already a stand-out character for more reasons than one. Plus, it’s interesting to see Sid’s parents’ concerns juxtaposed with Joey’s dad’s fears: while Joey was told to take an Uber and stay out of trouble, the Pakams warn their kids not to “talk back” if they’re stopped on the street.

At school, Joey’s protest is already making a splash. She even hands out custom-made “Free the Nipple” shirts to George, Luke, Tim, and Anna. “I love you guys! My woke boys,” she tells Tim, George, and Luke after they start discussing and debating the meaning of the protest. After that Instagram account, I’m not sure “woke” is the word I’d use to describe these dudes — especially apparent ringleader George — but Grand Army is definitely making a point with this one. We see this a few minutes later when Leila, after dubbing Joey’s protest pointless, is confronted by George, who asks her to hang out that night and pushes her to take her bra off in solidarity. At this point, I’m beginning to wonder how feminist can this protest really be if Joey’s creepy friends are roaming the halls to make sure the girls of Grand Army are all following suit.

Next, Grand Army teases two potential romances. First, there’s Joey and Tim in the bathroom, and although Tim’s choice in friends has me doubting his dateability, he seems to really have feelings for her. She pulls away before they kiss, though, citing her friendship with his sister. Meanwhile, Dom and John — the pairing I’m already loudly rooting for — are in calc. John volunteers to do a problem, and when he messes up, Dom raises her hand to correct him. “She’s Einstein,” he says, smiling. “Let her take over.” But before the Dom and John cuteness can commence, Jayson gestures for Dom to leave class. He and Owen want her to know that they’ve raised the full $200 she lost, and in exchange, they’re hoping she’ll go to the school’s office, let them know the entire debacle was just a prank, and explain she got her money back. Dom, still angry about the prank in the first place, makes no promises.

From here, we get a peek back into Sid’s story. He was deferred from Harvard, the school of his (and his parents’) dreams, and according to his college counselor, his personal statement isn’t exactly personal enough. He’s told to text Victor (August Blanco Rosenstein), a fellow student who apparently has a knack for college essays. And if there’s anything technical Grand Army excels at, it’s subtle transitions. As Victor’s phone buzzes, we see Joey behind him, taking off her sweatshirt and donning a “Free the Nipple” tee. 

Joey’s shirt itself doesn’t elicit a reaction, so she begins drinking from a bottle and “accidentally” dousing herself in water. Mrs. Wilder, predictably, stops the class and suggests she head to the office. When Joey pushes back, her teacher adds, “This is a classroom, and you’re dressed like a hooker. You’re basically prostituting yourself for attention… I wish you had some self-respect.” As she did with the Instagram account, Joey looks horrified and, for a few moments, genuinely hurt. 

But she has a plan. In the office, a disciplinary rep says that wearing a sheer white shirt without anything under it is a distraction, and right on cue, George, Luke, and Tim walk in, donning their matching “Free the Nipple” tees. “Mr. B., how can you regulate my body and not theirs?” Joey asks. She then points out that at least 100 other girls joined her protest, and if Mr. B. wants to punish her, he’ll have to kick all of them out of class, too. After a few breaths, he concedes that she’s right and lets her return to class. Ms. Wilder is even called in to apologize. Afterwards, Joey and Tim share a moment alone (and a kiss) and Tim calls Joey an inspiration. 

With Joey’s protest out of the way, it’s time to meet Victor, now grabbing a coffee with Sid and offering some college essay insight. Sid wonders whether he should write about the bomber from Friday, and “how it feels when someone who looks like me blows himself and four other people apart just feet from my fucking school.” Victor praises the idea and tells him it will be okay, and Sid notably looks at Victor’s lips as he sips his cappuccino. Interesting.

Now, we’re back to Leila, now getting hot and heavy with George. Their hookup is, simply put, painful to watch, and essentially consists of George getting himself off while kissing Leila’s neck and half-heartedly petting her. Then, while Leila wipes off her shirt, George watches a video of Joey’s protest on Instagram and basically pretends Leila isn’t in the room. When he finally turns back to her, he calls her “Geisha girl” and comments on the color of her nipples. I’m still parsing through which part of this scene is most upsetting, but that probably takes the prize. 

From here, Leila daydreams of an animated version of herself sitting next to an animated version of George, scrolling through an animated little version of Joey’s Instagram. Cartoon Leila breaks the phone, Cartoon Joey comes to life and eggs her on, and Cartoon George goes down on Leila. It’s hard to tell whether the sex act is really happening in tandem with the hyperbolic animated version or it’s just a fantasy, especially since we immediately pivot back to Joey, who’s getting a nipple piercing in celebration of her big win. 

Away from all of this, Dom is at Target with her mom and siblings when she gets a phone call about Jayson’s and Owen’s potential disciplinary action. She’s asked to come to school the next morning to discuss what happened, but her mind is elsewhere: her mom and siblings keep loading items into their cart, despite her persistent arguments that they won’t be able to afford everything. When they get to the checkout, Dom learn that their total is over $200 — aka, much more than they have on their Target gift card and more than Dom has in cash. 

At this point, John, dressed in a bright Target red, drops by and offers to hook her up with his employee discount. He also introduces himself to Dom’s mom and tells her all about how her daughter schooled him in calc. I’m not sure if I’m heartbroken on Dom’s behalf or swooning over the impending romance — and Dom seems to be in the same situation, smiling at John one second before looking away, slightly embarrassed over the whole ordeal.

Before we head back to Joey, Sid gets an important, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it scene. With a chair propped up in front of his door, he switches from a news website to Pornhub… and, though it’s unclear exactly what he searches, he’s clearly looking for guys, and he’s somewhat anxious about it. He’s interrupted by a call from his dad, asking how work is going, but this plot point will inevitably be revisited soon.

Joey meets up with George, fresh out of his hookup with Leila. In a devastating back-to-back, we see Leila tell her friend Rachel (Lola Blackman) that the night went well and that she had a lot of fun; meanwhile, George laughs to Joey that Leila couldn’t make him come. It’s horrible.

There’s something interesting about watching Joey in her small, private moments away from her chauvinistic male friends and outside of school. In her bedroom, she’s flipping through Instagram comments, many of which are praising her; however, a few notable ones call out her “white tears” and white feminism. Instead of ruminating on the latter, she takes a photo of her brand-new nipple piercing and sends it to her group text. Tim instantaneously texts her one-on-one (a quick “I’m dyin’ here and you’re responsible”), and Joey’s smile is notably more earnest than the confident, seductive one she wears so often at Grand Army.

Back at school, though, it’s starting to look like the white feminism accusations were a form of foreshadowing instead of just a self-aware sidenote. Joey and Dom, as the two witnesses to the bomb day prank, are exiting a meeting with Grand Army’s principal, but their demeanors couldn’t be more different. While Joey says she thinks people should be held responsible for their actions, Dom seems worried. “What’s going to happen?” she asks. “’Cause they paid me back, and I know I said that in there, but…”

With Joey out of the frame, Dom stares in through a window. Jayson and Owen apologize profusely, but Grand Army’s principal gives Jayson a seven-day suspension. Owen, who went into Dominique’s bag to retrieve her wallet, is even worse off: he’s granted a superintendent’s suspension, meaning he’ll face a hearing that will decide when he can return to school. “This is fucking crazy,” Joey says once they’re out the door. “I feel really bad.”

Dom looks her up and down. “Do you?” she asks.

Episode 3: Relationship Goals

Joey’s conversation with Dom seems heavy on her mind at the start of “Relationship Goals.” We’re in the Grand Army gym, where Dom’s about to play a basketball game and Joey’s on the sidelines with the rest of the dance team. As a student sings the national anthem, Dom and her friends take a knee; Joey follows suit. The subsequent montage of Joey dancing, Dom on the court, and Sid competing in a swim meet seems to hint that these are the three students we’ll be focusing on this episode.

After the basketball game, Joey’s in her room with Anna. They’re pushing each other around on the bed, talking about their dreams for next year. Anna will be at Syracuse, hopefully, and Joey will be at Cornell. They’ll study abroad together, maybe in Spain? Joey also asks Anna to skip babysitting and go to the movies with the rest of the group, and she says she’ll meet up with them afterwards. Then, Joey finally brings up the Tim issue: she likes him, but doesn’t want to mess up her relationship with Anna. Anna tells her that hooking up with Tim would probably threaten their friendship, points out that Joey and Tim are both flirts who would hurt each other, and makes her promise not to sleep with him. I applaud both girls for their honesty here, but I’m not convinced Grand Army won’t continue to drag this out.

Now, we’re at a Bat Mitzvah with Leila — it’s her friend Rachel’s sister’s ceremony. Leila is on edge because George hasn’t yet responded to a risqué photo she sent, but naturally, he’s commenting left and right on Joey’s Instagrams. Rachel, and also everyone watching, tells Leila to stop texting him. Leila trips walking back to her seat, a group of middle schoolers snicker, and she snaps at them to “go choke on each other’s cocks.” Again, this is happening at a Bat Mitzvah. It’s a lot.

Dom’s at the mall with Tamika, Sonia, and final friend group member Tor (Crystal Sha’re Nelson). Dom and Tamika are roleplaying a scenario in which Dom runs into John at the mall, and like every other scene centered around this squad, it is joyous. The mood is dampened somewhat when Jayson shows to pick up his homework from Sonia and approaches Dom to ask what she plans on saying at the hearing. “Dude, it’s fucking Saturday,” she says. “I’m not trying to be a dick, but I’m here with my girls.” Fair, but my heart breaks for Jayson. He looks exhausted.

Sonia, who may or may not have a thing with Jayson, challenges Dom as soon as he leaves. “You took a knee today,” she points out. “Are you really trying to act like you don’t see any similarities between what happened to Jay and Owen and the bullshit policing we’ve been protesting at games?” 

Dom lets the question linger, and we cut to Joey, now at a movie theater with Tim, George, and Luke. Anna’s babysitting and meeting up with the crew later on, and her absence feels palpable. Tim’s in a mood because Joey opts to sit between the other guys and cuddle up with George. He jumps up to get popcorn, and Joey lasts about two minutes alone with George and Luke’s macho-bro banter before deciding to meet him outside. Tim’s chatting up the cashier, a girl around their age, and Joey hangs onto him for a moment before kissing him. It seems largely fueled by envy, but it’s also a reassurance of sorts. 

Once they’re back in the theater, Joey communicates one of her concerns: she wants their friend group to stay normal. “You don’t have to be, like, throwing yourself at my friends to send me a message,” he says. Joey understandably does not react well to this, but what throws me here is Tim’s pronoun choice: “my friends.” On paper, George and Luke are Joey’s friends, too, but given how little George seems to respect women in general, Tim has a point. Half the time, these guys treat Joey more like a mascot than a friend. Exhibit A: that Instagram account.

Now at the Bat Mitzvah party, Leila is flagrantly ignoring Rachel’s advice and double-messaging George — who, as she sees on Instagram, is cuddling up with Joey. Leila tries to vent to Rachel, but Rachel’s dad is in the middle of toasting her sister. Rachel, the hero of this show, is appropriately annoyed by this and tells Leila to go home if she’s just going to make her sister’s big day all about “some douchebag guy.” 

Sid’s at a diner working on his Harvard essay, which is starting to seem like maybe, possibly a coming out essay, too. He’s interrupted by Flora, who shortly soon after starts venting about how porn (specifically, lesbian porn) is made for the male gaze. I know this is just supposed to parallel Sid’s struggle with his sexuality, but it also makes me adore Flora and please, Grand Army, can she and Sid stay friends? Of course, just moments later, Sid abruptly breaks up with Flora and she leaves the booth, huffing and crying. 

Back at the mall, Dom finally makes her move on John, but he hilariously has headphones in and walks right by her, forcing her to improvise (and sending her friends into a fit of laughter). They chat about work, Dom’s game, and their plans for the rest of the day, and a beat after they part ways, John calls out, asking about Dom’s plans for the rest of the day. She climbs up a down-moving escalator to meet him, and they make plans to hang out. 

Dom’s night is looking up, but Joey’s is taking a turn. George and Luke give Tim whatever the opposite of a pep talk is while Joey approaches a random man carrying a suspicious suitcase. George points out that, yeah, Joey and Tim have kissed. But Joey also “pays attention” to him, and to Random Suitcase Man, et cetera. “That girl is down for whatever, man,” he says, snickering, and I wish Rachel would leave her sister’s Bat Mitzvah right about now and put this guy in his place. Joey hops back over, laughing. Apparently, Suitcase Man’s bag was full of sex toys, and he gave her a pink dildo. Luke and George find this hilarious, but Tim’s still brooding as they hail a taxi.

Tim lets Joey in first, and she snaps, accusing him of “acting all nice now.” She tells Luke, who’s still on crutches from his fall in episode 1, to take the front, and he makes an offensive jab about the driver. “That’s fucking so racist, for real, Luke,” Joey says. She’s drunk from the liquor she snuck into the theater, and it’s hard to tell if she’s genuinely calling Luke out or just surprised he went there. In any case, they all squeeze into the backseat, with Joey trying to move towards Tim and George and Luke pulling her back, laughing.

Things are not headed in a good direction. Joey’s messing around with the vibrator, throwing it in George’s face, and then, she climbs over him to get to Tim. She tries to talk to him, and he snaps. “You wanna give me a lap dance or some shit? You need more fucking attention, Jo?” he asks, and Joey, hurt, recoils. Then yells. She ends up on Luke’s lap, George calls Tim a homo, and Joey leans out the window, trying to get some air.

Outside the taxi, Sid writes about being gay and downloads Grindr. Leila bonds with the kind rabbi at the Bat Mitzvah, and apologizes to Rachel. Dom opens up to John: she wants to be the first person in her family to go to college, and she wants to study psych. She also talks to him about Jayson’s suspension, and says that she doesn’t feel guilty for her role in it — but thinks Joey should. John says he’s having a great night, and for a minute, he and Dom hold hands and smile at each other, and I never want to leave this perfect scene.

But back to Joey. She accuses Tim of a double standard: he can hook up with as many girls as he wants, but she flirts with guys, and she’s just seeking attention. Tim is checked out, staring straight ahead, clearly not ready to have this conversation until Joey sobers up. “You guys get to do whatever you want,” Joey says. “So can I.” With her eyes on Tim, Joey kisses Luke. George films it. She yells that she’s allowed to do whatever she wants, and somehow, she ends up kissing George. Luke grabs her, and she yelps. I’m not going to go into more detail from here, even though the show does: Luke and George assault Joey. The guys are out of the taxi as soon as it arrives, but Joey stays put, crying and traumatized.

Once inside, Joey goes to the bathroom. She wraps her underwear in toilet paper. She gets a text from Tim: “You okay?” She throws up.

Episode 4: Safety On

“Safety On” opens with a text from Anna. “It just feels fucked up cause we had that whole conversation,” she writes to Joey. “How’s Tim not gonna feel shitty?” From there, we get a flashback to Anna finding Joey in the bathroom the night before. She’d seen the videos of Joey kissing George and Luke, but was more confused than anything else.

Back in real time, Joey answers Tim’s text with a joke about being hungover. Then, we pivot to Dom, who’s eating breakfast with her family at a church event. Her mom and sister are upset she no-showed the night before; apparently, she missed babysitting for her date with John. Her pastor lets her know about Sisters Thrive, a local internship program that trains young Black women who hope to one day work as psychologists — basically, the perfect program for Dom, and she’s psyched.

After this, we go through the school week in snapshots. At school on Monday, Joey feels like everyone’s watching her: from her perspective, everything looks gloomy and daunting, and she almost jumps when the guys approach her with a lemon poppyseed bagel. They crowd her locker, talking all at once. Tim won’t shut up about The Great Gatsby; Luke says he wants to ask her about something “really important,” and it’s just his haircut. 

On Tuesday, everyone at school seems to be discussing a rumored version of what happened. Joey, Anna, and the guys are in a classroom playing “Never Have I Ever,” and Anna casually says, “Never have I ever had an orgy with my friends.” Joey concedes, then looks away. A flashback from Saturday night brings Tuesday to Wednesday, when Joey, looking exhausted and disheveled, is woken up during dance practice. Grace, still territorial over George, makes a snide comment towards Joey.

At the same time, Dom, while goofing around with her friends, accidentally pelts Joey with a basketball. She apologizes, but Joey doesn’t buy it — and with the amount of slut-shaming she’s been dealing with, she probably thinks the hit was intentional. Joey and Dom are about to really get into it when a kindly basketball coach separates them, but the moment the coach is out of earshot, Dom bursts into the locker room, ready to call Joey out. But when she kicks a bathroom stall open, she finds Joey half-catatonic on top of the toilet. Her leg is covered in bruises. “What’s going on?” Dom asks. Joey tells her to get out.

Now, we turn to Jayson, preparing to head back to school. His parents and grandfather are at odds: while his dad thinks he deserved consequences for goofing off, his grandfather is adamant that the family should have hired a lawyer. Jayson tries to call Owen, who he hasn’t heard from since his suspension, and learns his number was disconnected. We move from Wednesday to Thursday with Jayson, who heads to the band room first thing… and as soon as he arrives, he learns Owen’s spot in the school band has already been given away to alternate.

In English class, Tim is analyzing The Great Gatsby while Joey’s breaking down. She’s panicking, pulling out her hair, and moving between the classroom and memories of Saturday night, but no one seems to notice. “I completely disagree with you,” she tells Tim before launching into a tirade about F. Scott Fitzgerald’s racism, sexism, and mansplaining. She starts to cry. Tim, several seats behind Joey, notices a bald patch on the back of her head, and his eyes narrow. Joey excuses herself to run to the bathroom, where she meets up with Luke to procure some sleeping pills.

Sid meets up with his college counselor to submit his new essay for Harvard. She suggests he see a therapist — as I usually note when watching teen dramas, all of these characters should do this — and he says he’s fine. Cut to Sid hooking up with a random guy from Grindr in a dressing room.

Back at school, Leila is reading a monologue from The Vagina Monologues, the upcoming school play directed by Sid’s sister, Meera. George and Joey peer in as she’s rehearsing, and George starts making leery, mocking faces, and as much as I loathe his character and his scenes with every piece of my soul, I can also acknowledge that this moment feels all too real and I’m cringing on Leila’s behalf. Meera, like a badass, kicks him out, but the damage is done: Leila’s chances at getting into the play are basically shot. That is, until theater kid and co-director Omar (Zac Kara) shyly approaches her and tells her he’ll put in a good word.

Up next, we get a peek into Dom’s home life. She’s trying to do homework in the bathroom — the rest of the apartment appears to have little privacy — but she’s interrupted by her young niece, who needs to use the toilet. Then, she gets an incoming FaceTime call from John. Just seconds into their conversation, her niece runs to her for help: she accidentally clogged the toilet, which started to overflow. Not only does John hear all of this, but Dom realizes the dirty water got all over her homework. She ditches him to clean up.

Finally, we’ve made it to Friday. Poor Sid, who still doesn’t know the name of his hookup, is in the bathroom Googling STDs you can get from oral sex. Afterwards, he almost immediately runs into Victor (who has to be his inevitable love interest, right?). Victor says he’s surprised Sid never reached out about his essay, and unfortunately, George (with Luke by his side) chooses this moment to appear and mock Victor with a high-pitched voice. The entire exchange moves very quickly, though, because Sid is distracted by the sight of his sister getting touchy with a swim team guy, Bo (David Iacono).

The next scene is interesting. During an assembly with the NYPD, Jayson begins passing around a petition to allow Owen back to school. Someone yells out, “I can’t breathe.” From another corner of the room, Luke tries to pull Joey closer, and she flinches away right as one of the cops talks about how perpetrators don’t necessarily look like “the sketchy dude on the subway,” but like people in your inner circle. “Are you okay?” Tim asks. Joey, popping another pill, nods. She clearly isn’t. The cop continues, now speaking on terrorists, and George jokes, “Do I look like a terrorist to you?” It’s possible that I have never despised a character so much.

A lot is going on right now, and all of it’s important. While Joey’s unraveling, the same student yells the same message: “I can’t breathe.” Dom gets a text from her nephew and learns that her sister hurt her back. John turns around and asks Dom to hang out, and even though she likely won’t hear the end of this from her family, she says yes. John smiles, then yells a third time, “I can’t breathe.” This time, other students join in.

Joey runs out of the assembly, followed by Anna. Anna apologizes, probably for the “Never Have I Ever” joke, and tells Joey she loves her, but she clearly still doesn’t know the truth about Joey’s assault. It looks like no one does. Dom, who is entirely too good for this show and has enough of her own issues to deal with, comes in to check on Joey, but Anna tells her she’s handling it.

After school, Jayson is desperate to get to the bottom of what’s going on with his friend. He shows at Owen’s house, but his parents won’t let him in — it’s hard to say who they’re punishing here, Owen or Jayson. Meanwhile, Dom’s at John’s house for dinner, and his mom has officially made it into the show’s top ten characters. She’s amused as John tells her about the chant, and then, she praises Dom for being the first college-bound member of her family. “I told her,” John says, grinning. Once she’s gone, they kiss for the first time over the kitchen table. It’s incredibly sweet, and I could not be more terrified that this show is going to hurt them.

Unfortunately, when Dom gets back home, her night starts to go downhill: not only did her sister sustain a serious injury, but she lost her job because of it. This is heartbreaking in its own right, but also doesn’t bode for Dom, who’s already working several side-hustles to help out her family.

In the episode’s final moments, Joey’s in bed, staring at unopened messages from Grace, Anna, George, and others. Her younger sister walks in and searches through Joey’s dresser drawers for a sports bra, and Joey falters when she finds her underwear from the night of her assault. A flashback cuts in and out, and then, Joey’s still crying, but this time, in her mom’s lap. “They raped me, Mom,” she says. In the background, the movie she was watching — Hannah Gadsby’s stand-up special Nanette, which addresses sexual assault and #MeToo — continues to play.

Episode 5: Valentine’s Day

As we head into the thick of Dominique’s story, it feels relevant to note that Grand Army‘s announcement was immediately followed by controversy: Ming Peiffer, who wrote for the show, announced on Twitter that she and two other writers of color quit the writers’ room “due to racist exploitation.” When someone responded to the trailer by pointing out that Dom’s story looked “depressing,” Peiffer responded, “The show runner wouldn’t listen to the 3 writers of color, of which I am one, including the Black writer who kept asking to not make her storyline poverty porn.” Up until now, we’ve mostly seen Dom’s cute romance with John, her basketball prowess, and glimpses into her home life, but at the start of “Valentine’s Day,” her mom proposes that Dom marry a young man looking for citizenship in exchange for $10,000. It’s a delicate situation that has me worried about how this will unfold.

Leila notices a bag left on her subway car. Worried it could be a bomb, she calls out several times before kicking it off the train, and a few men clap. “It’s not okay for bags to be left unattended like that,” she says. She’s relishing in, for once, being the hero — not just in her graphic cartoon fantasy sequences, but in real life. Once she’s off the train, she sees Joey, planked by her parents, on the other platform. We know this is a big deal, if only because Joey’s parents are separated and she’s much closer with her mom than her dad, but Leila, high off of her casual superhero moment, snaps a video and shares it to Instagram. “Ur so ’empowered’ u hookup w 3 guys at once… but u still need mommy and daddy to escort u on the train,” she writes.

We switch to Joey’s perspective. Her parents are asking if she’s sure, and she reiterates that she is. When we next see her, Joey’s in the doctor’s office. Grand Army clearly puts thought into depicting a positive and accurate experience here: the doctor collects her underwear, asks for consent before conducting tests and taking swabs and photos, and explains each and every step of the sexual assault kit.

At school, Anna, Gracie, and the guys receive candygrams from a teacher. Anna calls out to Leila, stationed nearby, and tells her not to post shit about Joey. She then asks where she saw her. Everyone in this group, especially Anna and Tim, is concerned. But Leila’s phone is blowing up: people are laughing along with her video, and she even receives a text from George asking to meet up. Theater kid Omar finds her to let her know she was cast as the understudy in Meera’s play, and then, a teacher passes Leila an anonymous candygram. It’s almost definitely from Omar, but Leila, thrilled, immediately texts George and asks him to meet her in the drama room. With newfound confidence, she goes down on him.

Sid gets a romantic text from Flora, but right as he’s about to respond, Victor sits down next to him. “Is Meera okay?” he asks. Apparently, his sister sent Bo a nude, and it got leaked. Sid sends Meera an angry text and Victor sits down next to him, solidifying their status as lab partners.

Today is also the day of Owen’s disciplinary hearing. Jayson, hurt that he still hasn’t spoken with Owen, is sitting with his parents, and Dom is alone. Jay tries to crack a joke, but Dom rebuffs him. Still, the camera focuses on her wistful reaction as Jayson starts laughing with his parents.

George and Luke are called out of class. Next we see them is through Leila’s eyes: she’s in the middle of another animated fantasy, and she runs out of the classroom with several students when she sees the NYPD arresting the guys. Someone is even more distraught than Leila is, though. “You can’t just take them out of class,” Anna tells the principal. “You have to tell them what they did. What did they even do? Did you notify their parents? They are minors.”

At Owen’s hearing, Dom says that the prank was just “messing around that got out of hand.” She’s asked if Owen took the wallet out of her bag, and all she says is that he wasn’t the one to steal her $200. 

Then, Jayson is called to answer questions. “Did you see Mr. Williams touch and enter Ms. Pierre’s bag? Did you watch Mr. Williams take her wallet from her bag?” Anxious, Jayson asks the superintendent if she read his petition. Under pressure, he says that Owen took Dom’s wallet, but it was a prank. “We’re set,” the superintendent says. Dom shakes her head. Owen looks destroyed. He receives a 60-day suspension.

Joey gets a text from Anna. “What the fuck did you do? Are you fucking serious with this????” she asks. “You’re psychotic!!” Joey’s mom takes her phone, and Joey heads into a meeting with a therapist. “They were acting like nothing happened,” she says. “And the whole week I was questioning what I was remembering… I’m just so fucking angry.” She tells her therapist that she feels like she’s fucking over her friends, and fears everyone at school will hate her. The worst part, she says? She doesn’t regret going forward with the charges, but she almost feels like she’s betraying them.

In the boys’ locker room, Sid calls out Bo for sharing his sister’s nude. In the girls’ room, though, students are talking about George and Luke, going back and forth between whether they really think they might be rapists or whether they’re just pervy guys who “do weird shit.”

Leila, trailed by Rachel, runs to go throw up. She explains that, just earlier that day, she gave George a blowjob, and begs Rachel to persuade her she didn’t hook up with a rapist. When she stays vague, Leila lashes out, calling Joey a “fucking slut” and accusing Rachel of defending her. This is Rachel’s breaking point: she tells Leila she barely recognizes her anymore, and points out that if she wants to get involved in feminist theater, she really shouldn’t be using the kind of language she is. Rachel leaves Leila, stunned and crying, in the bathroom.

Jayson gets back to school and heads to a Black Student Union meeting, led by John. He shares the news of Owen’s punishment, and the students, especially John, are sympathetic. Dom, also in attendance, steps outside, and John follows. She asks if he thinks the entire situation is her fault, and he assures her it isn’t. Then, he continues to reign as Grand Army’s resident heartthrob and gives her a Valentine’s Day present, a mug labeled “Dr. Dominique Pierre.” 

At the Pakams’ family restaurant, Meera is introducing her feminist art show (not to be confused with the feminist play she’s putting on with Leila and Omar; this is a gallery installation of sorts, all about Indian women’s rights to agency and sexual desire). Flora is there to show support, and in the heat of the moment, Sid says he misses her. They fool around in the bathroom, and even though Flora pulls out a condom, the scene cuts out before we can tell if they go through with sex.

Meanwhile, Dom tells her mom she doesn’t want to proceed with the proposal. But she’s Dom, so she has a plan. She’s going to continue doing hair to fill in her family’s income gaps, and she even did the math to make sure it would add up — she just has to book hair appointments four to five times a week until her sister heals.

Valentine’s Day concludes with a look back at Joey. She’s reunited with her phone, and on Instagram, it looks like everyone has something to say. Her parents do, too: in the other room, they’re speaking in low, concerned voices. Instead of eavesdropping, Joey opts to watch Dirty Dancing with her two younger sisters. “Are you gonna be okay?” asks Frankie (Deanna Interbartolo), the younger one.

“I think so,” Joey says. Her sisters cuddle up to her, half-asleep, and Joey stares ahead, like she’s asking herself the same question, before reaching for her phone and staring at the angry DMs and concerned texts. She hesitates briefly, then deactivates her Instagram.

Episode 6: Superman This S**t

This episode’s opening scene (after, of course, another eerie Word document snippet) shows Dom at basketball practice. “Dominique, it’s time to break these bad habits,” her coach says, exasperated. The bad habit is that she won’t pass the ball to her teammates. It’s some heavy-handed symbolism — Dom, once again, is trying to care of everything herself — and we see this again a moment later, when Dom tries to sell her homemade hair cream in the locker room.

Leila, while smoking with Omar, opens up about her backstory. Because she’s adopted, she doesn’t know exactly where she fits in or who she is. She suddenly pivots, asking Omar if he believes Joey was really raped, and he says he does. “You don’t know that,” Leila says, and he promptly responds, “I know, but she said they did… they have more reason to lie.” Then, he quotes The Vagina Monologues. Leila’s clearly going through it, but I’m glad everyone in her life continues to call her out on her constant slut-shaming.

Sid and Victor, meanwhile, are working on their science project. The gist is to see how long it takes a subject to respond to a stimulus, and in a classic teen drama moment that gives me severe secondhand embarrassment, Sid gets a boner. To his credit, Victor handles the situation with class, even offering to note that an “uncontrolled variable” in the experiment might be that Sid is more comfortable in his bedroom. Then, he offers to take over as test subject and casually segues into telling Sid what happened when he came out as bi. For half a second, I worry Sid might get defensive — after all, he’s back with Flora, so he’s either in denial or at least still closeted — but he listens thoughtfully.

Back to Dom, who’s trying to do a client’s hair and study for a test at the same time. Luckily, she has some help: her adorable niece is acting as her assistant, and Tamika and John show up shortly after. Dom knew her friend was coming, but she’s less thrilled about letting her boyfriend into her home life. As soon as he’s busy entertaining her nephews, she asks Tam why she’d invite him over. “He doesn’t care,” Tamika says. “I fucking care,” Dom retorts. Her client is probably eating up all this high school drama.

Because Dom and John have excellent communication skills, making them one of Netflix’s rare, incredibly healthy teen relationships, he follows her into the kitchen and offers to leave, worried he’s distracting Dom from her work. She says she just feels bad that her place is a mess; he says it looks good and, more importantly, she looks good. She smiles, and they kiss. Once he turns, she responds to an Instagram DM, offering to take the next day off of school to work with three new clients.

Almost halfway through the episode, we see Joey for the first time. Her mom is trying to get her to go to a dance class, but she refuses. Presumably, she’s off her school’s team now, too, and it’s unclear if she’s even going to school anymore. But back at Grand Army, Jayson gets some bittersweet news: he was named as an alternate for All-State, the competition he and Owen auditioned for in the show’s pilot. Owen got the spot, but thanks to his suspension, he won’t be able to perform — thus, the music teacher wants Jayson to step in. He isn’t so sure.

In order to make it to her three-person hair appointment, Dom tells her coach that she has to miss that night’s game. Her coach tells her to choose: she makes this game, or she’s out. With that in mind, she heads to Kaila’s (Tameka Griffiths) house. Kaila and her friends, who heard about Dom’s services through word of mouth, attend a nearby private school. Notably, Kaila mentions that she and all of her friends are in therapy, and Dom explains that she’d like to be a therapist one day. They’re surprised to hear she’s never been herself.

Jayson meets up with Owen for the first time since his hearing. He isn’t doing well; just days in at his new suspension center, he’s already been jumped for no discernible reason, and the news that he made All-State doesn’t do much to cheer him up. Pretty quickly, what’s gone unsaid bubbles to the surface: Owen is frustrated that Jayson’s testimony, and accidental admission, sealed his fate. He tells Jay to leave him alone, and Jayson doesn’t get the chance to explain that he’s taking Owen’s seat. Which, frankly, would not have gone over well.

Joey goes for a run, but panics when she spies George with his parents. She heads back home and jumps into her mom’s arms, begging to move or stay somewhere else or just disappear. Sid, meanwhile, has a big swim match. He’s nervous about swimming with Bo instead of George and Luke, his typical teammates, and especially nervous because Harvard’s scout will be there. Here is when I admit that I don’t know much about how swim meets work, but the bottom line is, Grand Army loses — and it’s Bo’s fault, not Sid’s. An argument ensues in the locker room.

At Kaila’s house, Dom’s new friends are convincing her to call Sisters Thrive and reiterate her interest. After a shaky start, she hits her stride on the call, and the program rep asks if she can make it the next morning. Dom says she can, and her new friends cheer. For all the obstacles thrown in Dom’s direction, I’m glad she has friends, peers, family, and authority figures seemingly rooting for her at every turn.

Speaking of therapists, Leila is one character who desperately needs one. Instead, she’s leaning on Rabbi Schultz (Lynn Weintraub), who she met at Rachel’s sister’s Bat Mitzvah. She envisions her cartoon alter ego facing off with a cartoon version of George, but real-life Leila just explains how guilty she feels for posting the video of Joey. Most likely, she also feels guilty for all the slut-shaming, but she continues to vent about her hookup with George and fight with Rachel. Rabbi Schultz suggests repentance and atonement, specifically towards Joey and Rachel.

At home, Jayson tells his dad he got into All-State. He doesn’t say anything about Owen, though — either Owen’s role in the All-State situation, or their explosive fight. Sid is walking home when he’s intercepted by Meera, who looks heartbroken. “You haven’t seen it?” she asks after he explains his phone died. Apparently, because these kids cannot catch a break, someone accessed and leaked Sid’s Harvard essay, in which he comes out. His first concern is his parents, but Meera talks him down, explaining that there’s no way they’ll find it. Then, she says, “You know I love you no matter what, right?” Despite the traumatic and, in my opinion, unnecessary choice to have Sid get outed to the entire school, Meera’s instant concern for and support of Sid is one of Grand Army’s most touching moments so far. It’s basically everything I wanted and didn’t get from Love, Victor’s season finale.

The episode ends on Dom, exhausted, opening a text from John. “My Superwoman,” he writes. “Seein you dominate like this lately has been mad sexy.” She’s conflicted, and so are we: it’s wonderful that she has such a supportive, all-star boyfriend, but does he even realize how far she’s pushing herself? Also, this girl has a major interview tomorrow. She needs to sleep.

Episode 7: Making Moves

As “Making Moves” opens, Sid is already trying to do some damage control, fielding texts from Flora and wondering whether he should deny everything. Meera, as the world’s best sister, continually tells him that it’s okay, he has nothing to be ashamed of, and she’ll fight anyone who says anything. At first, Sid seems worried about the swim team’s reaction — not sure if he’s just temporarily forgetting that two swimmers were recently arrested for rape, and the team probably has some bigger issues right now — but really, he’s nervous about his parents. Meera assures him that they are technologically inept and won’t find out. 

At school, Grand Army is having a random bag check day. Jayson catches up with Sonia, Owen’s maybe-girlfriend, and fills her in on his friend. When he expresses guilt over taking Owen’s spot, Sonia is sympathetic and reminds him it isn’t his fault. Sid, in line with Meera, breaks free to find Victor. Because Victor has had access to his computer, he accuses Victor of outing him on Instagram. Victor, hurt, snaps that he would never do that, leaving Sid looking guilty… and probably wondering who really did sell him out.

Leila, also at the bag check, approaches Rachel and proceeds to give television’s worst apology. There’s a lot of “You haven’t been there for me” and zero atoning, so I think Rabbi Schultz’s message went over Leila’s head. Rachel does not react well to this, but doesn’t seem to have it in her to argue with Leila. Leila marks Rachel’s name in her notebook, considering this conversation a win.

Let’s switch to Dom. Unfortunately, exhausted and sleep-deprived, she slept through her big interview with Sisters Thrive. She has to wait another hour, but the organization agrees to let her make up the interview. What follows is the speech that made it into Grand Army’s trailer — but it’s even more emotional in context. “I think most people, even people who want to help, they don’t always understand what some people are up against,” she says. She tells the truth about her tardiness, her habit of staying up working until 5 a.m. “If I’m telling the truth, it makes me angry. But see, that’s the one thing I can’t allow myself to be, because then I’m just what they expect me to be, right?” 

As she continues, she drops in a statistic: 95% of mental health care workers in New York are white. “It matters who you talk to,” she goes on. “It matters who you’re comfortable with. It matters who hears you, who says, ‘I understand.’” The interviewers are impressed, but with every win comes a setback. When Dom returns to school, she learns she’s missed a test, and her teacher refuses to let her retake it. Her friends convince her to take a break and spend the night out at John’s BSU fundraiser, and even though she has an APUSH test the next day, she reluctantly agrees.

At the Vagina Monologues rehearsal, Leila is drafting out an apology text to Joey. While one of her castmates gives a monologue in the background, she writes, “Just wanted to say I hope you’re okay. Really sorry if I was hurtful to you.” Then, she writes a follow-up message, asking Joey to let her know when she receives the text. 

Leila doesn’t really care how Joey’s doing — she cares about her own conscience more than repentance. But Joey is on the precipice of a big change; she’s about to temporarily move in with her dad and switch schools. She asks her mom if she’s just running away, and her mom responds that she’s just protecting herself.

Jayson heads to a record store after school, where he shares a meaningful conversation with the shop owner. He plays a Coltrane song, and tells Jay that the song was recorded months after the 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham. “It’s about the moment sadness turns to anger,” he explains. “It’s a memorial, but it’s a protest.”

Jay keeps this in mind as he heads to the BSU fundraiser. John, heading the event, is trying to raise money to take a busload of Grand Army students to Pennsylvania for a voting registration drive. Jayson tells Sonia he has an idea: he can’t stop thinking about the dismal conditions about Owen’s suspension center, and the fact that all the students were Black, and he wants to plan a sit-in to support Owen.

Sid’s day hasn’t gotten much easier since he confronted Victor. He briefly turned on his guidance counselor, and now, at the BSU fundraiser, he’s still wondering who outed him. When Bo approaches and gives him a sly once-over, it all seems to click into place. He meets him outside and tries to slap him, but just ends up punched in the nose, landing him in the hospital. 

Once there, Sid’s dad asks Sid and Meera if Sid was the victim of a hate crime. Sid, terrified that his dad might contact authorities, admits that he threw the first hit. Meera interjects, about to cover for him, but Sid opens up about Bo leaking his college essay. In doing this, he tells his dad the truth: that he’s gay, and the essay was about his sexuality. His dad responds with disbelief. “Dad,” Meera says, her voice soft.

Joey is happier than we’ve seen her since the assault. Her mom and sisters are over at her dad’s for dinner, and despite her contentious relationship with her father, this is what she clearly wanted — her family, altogether, joking about the old days when her parents were in love. Joey’s mom and sister, Frankie, are dancing, and Frankie asks Joey to step in. Joey turns her down. It’s a throwaway line, but one that shows how much Joey has changed in the past several episodes. When we first met her, Joey was always dancing.

Dinner is interrupted by a phone call. Joey’s mom learns that the DA’s office has decided not to move forward with her charges against George and Luke, based on a lack of evidence. Joey screams, asking to talk to them. Her dad says there must be something they can do. Her mom just cries.

Dom and John walk home from the fundraiser. John teases Dom for her drunkenness, but she half-jokes about how almost no one could do what she’s doing — support and feed a family of eight while keeping her grades up and pursuing her dreams of college. She also opens about her fears of eviction. She’s drunk, but it’s also the first time she’s really letting John in, and he tells her he had no idea how much responsibility she was taking on at home. They kiss, and Dom invites him inside.

Her home isn’t empty, though. Far from it. Her family is all there, but someone else is, too: Ronald (Caleb Grandoit), the family friend set to marry Dom for $10,000. Sensing that it’s not a good time, John quietly leaves, and Dom tries to collect herself.

“You aren’t listening,” someone writes. “So I’m going to make you listen.” At this point, any of these characters could be writing this.

Episode 8: Spirit Day

“Walking on Sunshine” plays from the loudspeakers, but we already know this episode will be hard to swallow when George and Luke, triumphant, start high-fiving students and cheering, celebrating their return. Anna and Tim look exhausted, but Anna’s trying to pretend everything is fine. Tim seems less sure.

Joey learns from a prosecutor that the results of her rape kit were inconclusive, and because all the boys had a consistent story, the case is her word against George’s, Luke’s, and Tim’s. When she argues back, the prosecutor gently tells her that the defense will create a narrative against both her and that night, using the videos of her kissing Luke and flailing the dildo around. As Joey’s eyes glaze over, we see George, Luke, and Tim speaking with a prosecutor. They mention the photo of her nipple piercing. They mention the no-bra protest. “I was there the whole night,” Tim says. “It was just Joey being Joey.”

Sid, at home, gets a hopeful voice message from a Harvard scout. He switches to Instagram and flips through the comments, some of which are supportive but many of which are just shocked. Jayson, practicing the sax, gets some advice from his music teacher: “Whatever’s going on in your head is blocking you from connecting somewhere deep.” And at lunch, Dom suddenly remembers her upcoming APUSH test. She jumps from her seat and runs off to go cram.

John follows her down the hall, though. He says that, before last night, he didn’t realize how hard Dom was hustling to support her family. Then, he tries to give her $300. John is one of this show’s most angelic characters and the gesture is thoughtful, but Grand Army wants to remind us he is still very much a clueless teen boy — and from a markedly different social class than Dom. Dom tells John that she doesn’t need the money and resents his attempt to “save” her, and he snaps that, in that case, she shouldn’t worry about fitting him into her busy schedule.

Dom heads to APUSH and gets a text from Ronald, who says he enjoyed meeting her last night. She slips her phone away and panics, completely lost as she tries to take the test. She reaches for her phone and subtly scans Wikipedia for help. Her teacher snatches the test and, meeting her outside, says she’s at risk of expulsion. “You know me,” she pleads, promising that she’s never cheated before in her life. At that, she’s apologetically told it’s either expulsion or a failing grade. This is shaping to be a really, really heartbreaking episode for Dom stans.

It’s been a second since we’ve seen Leila. The same Chinese students from episode 1 are snickering, asking how she feels now that George is back in school. Then, she gets a check-minus on her paper about the Kaifeng Jews — her teacher asks why she chose the subject, she explains that she’s Jewish and Chinese, so she found the topic relatable. Her teacher accuses her of not putting her own story into the paper, which seems a little harsh, but just reminds us again that Leila doesn’t feel like she fits anywhere. She has no known family in China she can contact for help; her Jewish parents also probably know nothing about the Kaifeng Jews. 

Leila heads to play practice, but isn’t connecting with the material. At least, that’s what Meera says. Within earshot of Leila, Meera tells Omar they have to replace her, and Leila storms out, furious. She rips down a poster in the hallway; she gives the drama room the finger.

In therapy, Joey opens up about both the assault and her home life. When her dad came over after she was raped, she explains, it was the first time he was in her apartment since he moved out. For ages, she was angry that he cheated on her mom, but now, she’s remembering how close they once were, and she feels guilty that her case has hurt her family. Still, she says, “I’ve lost so much in all of this, and they’ve lost nothing.”

Flora shows up to Sid’s place. He’s been avoiding her texts since he was outed, and she wants to know if their entire relationship was fake — if all of his talk about traveling from Harvard to Brown every weekend was a lie. Flora has, I think, a pretty reasonable reaction: she says that she knows none of this is Sid’s fault and she wants to be there for him, but she’s hurt that he used her for so long. She also confirms that they had sex on Valentine’s Day, and she’s pissed about that, too.

Leila goes back to Rabbi Schultz, and laments that she’s apologized to everyone but nothing has improved. The rabbi suggests she bring her family to a weekend service; the sense of community could help. She also gently tells Leila that there’s a difference between a spiritual advisor and a therapist, and that if she wants more help, she’d be happy to introduce her to someone. She then leaves the room to take a call and Leila, fired up, pockets the rabbi’s scarf and runs out.

Dom goes to a beauty wholesale store to pick up supplies. As the cashier rings her up, she asks whether there’s any kind of frequent shopper discount. There isn’t. In a huff, angry about how much money she has to spend just to make more money, and also everything happening with John and school and her family, Dom storms out, fighting back tears. 

Her friends chase her outside. “I can’t keep doing this,” Dom says, sinking to the ground. “There’s never a break. I can’t fucking catch up.” She tells Sonia, Tor, and Tamika about Ronald, and her mom’s proposition. They start to rally, telling her she shouldn’t have to go through with it, but Dom only gets more upset. She doesn’t want to see the Ronald situation as a big deal. Mostly, she doesn’t want her friends judging her family.

Meanwhile, Jayson is at a jazz club with his dad. He points out that Jay’s music is going to inspire a ton of people — and Jay takes a breath before responding that he’s doing something else that might make a difference, too. He’s planning Owen’s sit-in for the day before All-State. Jayson thinks his dad might be proud, but instead, he warns him to focus on his music. “You’ll create more change in the world if you make it to Juilliard than if you paint a target on your back,” he says. 

As the dialogue heats up, Jayson confesses that the All-State seat was initially Owen’s. His dad agrees that Owen’s punishment was messed up, but that Jayson shouldn’t risk his future to fight back. “This shot is yours,” he says. “What matters now is what you do with it.” The best way to honor Owen, he adds, is to kick ass at All-State.

Jayson isn’t the only Grand Army student having a tough talk with a parent. Even though Sid’s parents told him to stay home, he decides to show up to the family restaurant and help out. Their anger is twofold: they’re probably upset about the revelation of his sexuality, but also, his face is still healing from Bo’s punches. “I’m gay. And that’s not going away,” says Sid. “We can talk about this, actually talk, or I can do the dishes. But I’m not going.” It’s a tragedy Meera isn’t here to see her brother — she’d be prouder than anything.

Joey is in her dad’s bathroom with her sister, Nina (Ava Preston). Nina notices a bald patch behind Joey’s ponytail. She asks about her hair-pulling, and Joey says nothing. Then, she mentions that a jerk from school asked if she “likes it rough” like her sister. When Joey starts to respond, she interrupts. “I just feel like you’re letting them win,” Nina tells her. “Say, ‘Fuck you. You don’t get to push me out of my life.’” She shows Joey a photo of George, Tim, and Luke, and implores her to go back to school. “I wish you’d stop letting them destroy you,” she says, finally.

Leila, walking down the street with her mom, starts to snap when her mother accidentally bumps into an East Asian woman on the street and chuckles. She says she’s never met a Chinese girl named Leila before, and asks why her parents gave her such an American name. “Everyone’s like, ‘Be the real you,’” she says. “So, can you tell me who that is?” She starts to cry. As much as Leila’s messed up this season, she really needs some help. Fingers crossed she gets it in the finale.

In the penultimate episode’s last moment, Dom agrees to go through with the Ronald plot. On one condition: some of the $10,000 goes towards her college fund. 

Episode 9: Freedom

Well, Grand Army viewers, we’ve made it to the end, and a lot is about to go down. First, we find out what that creepy document is: a bomb threat email, sent to every Grand Army student and teacher. Then, we find out who’s sending it: Leila. It’s not completely surprising, given her graphic drawings, but it’s jarring to see Leila’s story take such a dark turn.

It’s Dom’s birthday, and to celebrate, she’s signing a contract ahead of her wedding to Ronald. She’s trying to focus on the positives. With Ronald, she’ll get her own room and space to study. Naturally, though, she’s still upset. 

It’s also Joey’s first day at her new Catholic school. She’d hoped for a new beginning, but it seems like all her classmates somehow know about her past — or maybe she’s just paranoid. One girl stares at her while in mass, then follows her to the bathroom and gives her a side-eye. Joey tells her to get lost. Then, riding a sudden wave of confidence, she opens a long-abandoned group text with Anna, Luke, Tim, and George. “Can we meet later? I wanna talk,” she writes. 

Cut to George and Luke opening the message and trying to decide what to do. They’re worried they could get in trouble, but Luke says he wants to meet up and see what Joey has to say for herself, convinced she’ll apologize to them. (Yuck.) Then, they run into Sid in the hallway and greet him with a high five. I’d almost forgotten that, before the events of Grand Army’s first few episodes, these guys were all in the same friend group.

Once again, the show wants to highlight how George and Luke don’t instantly jump out as cardboard cut-out villains: they ask Sid how he’s doing, and tell him that Bo’s actions were messed up. The bar is on the floor. They say they don’t care if he’s gay, but then, Luke cracks a joke about how he’s going to stay away from Sid in the showers. In one of the most casually jaw-dropping moments of the show so far, Sid walks away, tense and annoyed, before suddenly turning around. “Oh, yeah. I almost forgot,” he retorts. “Remind me to never get in a cab with you fuckers again. Who knows what the fuck you’d do?” It’s satisfying to watch someone put these assholes in their place, and I hope Joey gets to have a similar moment on her own terms later, too.

In class, the sit-in begins. Students start flooding into the hallway in droves. Leila is hiding out with Omar, but she keeps checking her phone, waiting for the scheduled bomb threat to arrive in her inbox. Sid runs into Victor, and begs for just five minutes of his time. “I know I texted you and messaged you, but I wanted to tell you to your face that I sincerely apologize,” he says once they’re in the bathroom. “What I accused you of was fucked, and I know that. I was in a bad place.” Victor, one of the show’s purest characters, immediately accepts the apology and tells Sid he wants to be “the easy part” of the entire outing ordeal. They hug. It lasts just a second too long, and then Victor tells Sid his essay was genius. There’s an hour left for Sid to get into Harvard and tell Victor he’s into him. Let’s go, Grand Army. 

Back at the sit-in, John is speaking up about aggressions and microaggressions Black students face at Grand Army. “We will sit in solidarity. Open minds and hearts,” he says. “But with our anger on our sleeves.” His eyes lock with the principal and disciplinary officials, who look furious. John points out that a sixty-day suspension isn’t a life lesson; it’s a life-changer, and it’s why so many students, especially Black boys, end up dropping out at alarming rates. “This isn’t a TV show. This is happening right here at Grand Army,” he says. (You know the writers were really pleased with that line.) Leila keeps checking her phone.

Jayson is about to take the stand when the school goes into lockdown. There are a lot of reasons to be mad at Leila right now, and one of them is that she completely derailed such an important protest. But Leila’s having a great day: Rachel, petrified, finds her, and says she doesn’t want to fight with her anymore. Then, Leila goes home to hook up with Omar.

Tim, Anna, George, and Luke all meet up with Joey, and the image is arresting: all four on one side, with Joey on the other. Luke complains about the arrest, but Joey stands her ground. “What you guys did to me was fucked up, and I think you know that,” she snarls, fighting back tears. “How can you stand there and act like it was nothing? Can you just tell me? Can you just say that you were wrong? It’s all I’m asking for, alright?” She goes on to tell them that she isn’t trying to yell at them, or trick them, or make amends. She just wants a confession — a small piece of closure. But they maintain that they were all just drunk, and Joey just got embarrassed the next day.

Anna tries to speak up, and Tim silences her. Then, Joey turns on him. “Tim, you sat there,” she says. “Tim, you watched. I know you fucking saw me crying. You sat there while they pinned me down.” Anna, defensive of her brother, gets in Joey’s face. The confrontation begins to parallel the rape itself: Joey is fighting, crying, while George and Luke take turns telling her she was just out of control. She calls out for Tim, who just stands there, silent. Defeated, Joey walks away.

George, Luke, and Anna are grumbling as they walk in the other direction, but Tim stands still. Then, in a quiet but firm voice, he says, “It’s true, though.” When the other three turn around — George and Luke horrified, and Anna stunned — he begins to unravel. “It’s fucking true what she’s saying, and I’m done pretending,” he yells. “I watched you motherfuckers do what you did, so don’t even fucking try.” They shove each other, and Luke pulls George away as Tim continues to yell.

Dom, sitting by herself in the moonlit park, receives two messages in succession: one, a birthday message from Ronald. And the other, news that she got the Sisters Thrive internship. As she’s deciding how to respond to the first, Joey walks by, and she calls out for her. For a few minutes, they just sit together, both hesitant to go home.

Dom arrives home to a surprise birthday party. Her friends, family, and even John (plus a bouquet of roses) are all in attendance. Dom’s friends apologize for the tiff outside the beauty store, but she’s already forgotten about the entire argument. She tells her friends, then her mom, that she got the internship, and everyone cheers. Finally, things are looking up for Dom. I just need her to work things out with John, for real this time.

A quick side note: Grand Army takes place in the spring of 2020 — we know this because Leila’s bomb threat has a timestamp — so, as Joey walks into school, we hear her listening to a news podcast about COVID-19. I know this show is going for realism, but it’s such an awkward one-off mention. And now, I’m just reminded that these kids, living in the epicenter of the pandemic, are about to head into the worst April of their lives, as if this semester hasn’t already been difficult enough.

But anyway, back to Grand Army High School. John has an elaborate, pizza-themed promposal planned, but Dom runs the other way into the bathroom before he can pop the question. Her friends follow her in, and she explains that she’s still going through with the marriage to Ronald. She’s worried prom might be a red flag. Her friends say that they’ll stall the promposal, but that she has to talk to him, stat.

Following the sit-in, Jayson, John, and Sonia are sitting down with the principal to discuss the zero-tolerance policy. Jay also points out that racism runs rampant at Grand Army: slurs are thrown around, and Black girls are called out for dress code violations more frequently than white girls. This is an interesting parallel to the start of the show: if Joey, George, Luke, and Tim weren’t white, is there any way she would’ve gotten away with her “Free the Nipple” stunt? Black students are invisible to the administration, Jay continues. Like Owen.

The principal tells the students that he hears them, but that they should write a letter to the Department of Education. All three students are frustrated, but his final comment strikes an interesting chord — he tells Jayson that he’ll be at All-State later that night, and that performing well and “doing stand-up things” is one way to ensure he’s not invisible. It’s frustrating and, of course, racist. The sit-in, the fundraiser, and all of John’s work as the BSU President couldn’t be more “stand-up.”

A few things happen quickly: Joey, in class at her new school, receives a message from the girl she saw at mass, explaining that she wasn’t trying to laugh at her. Leila presents her new paper, and her teacher praises it as a major improvement. Sid, in his college counselor’s office, receives news that he got into Harvard. This last moment is the sweetest, especially since Meera’s there to give him a hug.

Dom gets an F on her APUSH test. The silver lining, I guess, is that she isn’t expelled. She leaves the classroom and runs into John, very intentionally trying to give her some space, and asks if they can meet up to talk that night. Meanwhile, Sid runs to find Victor and share the news of his Harvard acceptance. The pure joy Victor feels for Sid is palpable, and they finally kiss. The moment is broken by a text from Sid’s dad — a “congratulations” message. He says he’s proud of him. Sid couldn’t be happier.

Omar and Leila are hooking up, and Leila asks if she can show him her drawings. They’re lighter versions of her fantasy sequences; as she says, they’re “the real me.” George texts, asking if she’s around this weekend, and when Leila gets up to answer, Omar starts flipping through her notebook. He finds darker images this time… frightening ones. 

Jayson finds Owen at the suspension center, and tells him that he’s filling in for him at All-State. He says he hopes to make him proud, but Owen’s upset. He accuses Jay of always putting himself first, and then says he should give up the spot. Instead, Jayson throws himself into the music, almost tearing up at his next rehearsal.

Joey meets up with her classmate, a girl named Sylvie (Mirabella Raschke-Robinson). They’re in the chapel, and Sylvie has evidently heard about Joey’s charges. She starts asking how Joey was able to go through with the allegations, and Joey starts arguing until Sylvie interrupts and explains that she was raped, too, one night when she visited her brother at college. She didn’t file any charges, but reading about Joey’s case struck her. “I think it’s brave what you did,” she says. “I think I regret not saying anything.” And then, most poignant of all, Sylvie tells Joey she believes her. 

Dom arrives home, ready to talk to her mom about the Ronald situation, but her mom sits her down first. She tells Dom she won’t let her go through with the wedding because she can tell, deep down, that she really doesn’t want to. Her mom is going to start working extra hours, and her sister is going to find a job she can work from home. Her mom tells her to take the internship, get into college, and go fix her relationship with John. They share a hug.

The emotions aren’t over, though. Joey is running somewhere. Not just somewhere — a community dance class. She watches the other dancers, whispers to herself, “I’m not leaving,” and texts her mom. Ten minutes, she writes. She’s going to try to stick it out for ten minutes.

“Let your body take control,” the teacher says, and as the opening notes of George Michael’s “Freedom” begin, Joey dances. She’s in the back, by herself, still in an oversized hoodie, but she’s dancing. Her phone, on the corner bench, buzzes with a message from Tim. “Can we talk?” it reads. We get a flash image of Tim, snorting cocaine and looking distraught with guilt. He’s typing more, but Joey’s coming back to herself. She sheds the hoodie. She keeps moving.

Then, we move back to Dom, flanked by her friends. She’s outside John’s apartment, holding a rose, and when he steps outside, Tor and Tamika throw confetti. “PROM?” is written on his doorstep in petals. “So you didn’t want me to beat you to it, I guess?” John asks, flashing the biggest smile he’s shown us yet. As Dom asks him to prom and they kiss, Tamika continues showering them in glitter.

There’s one final story Grand Army needs to wrap up: Jayson’s. He’s at All-State, about to perform Coltrane’s “Alabama,” the same song he once discussed with the shopkeeper at the record store. Jayson begins to play, and you can practically see the moments flashing in his mind: his dad telling him about changing the world. Owen, with a bruised lip, outside the suspension center. The principal’s gross comment about “proving” he “isn’t invisible.” Jayson stops performing and covers his mouth in two pieces of black tape. As the crowd goes silent, he raises a fist.

If you have experienced sexual violence and are in need of crisis support, please call the RAINN Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673). 

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After a series of concerning tampering with drop boxes all over the U.S., authorities are now investigating a fire in an official ballot drop box located in Baldwin Park, CA just west of Los Angeles. Stacks of burned ballots, an estimated 200 in total, were removed after the Los Angeles County Fire Department arrived on the scene to extinguish the fire. Federal investigators suspect that it was arson and local officials are considering it an act of voter suppression.

The fire was discovered on Sunday around 8:00 p.m. Witnesses called the fire department after noticing heavy smoke billowing from the drop box. At present, federal investigators are still not sure exactly how the fire started. “This has all the signs of an attempt to disenfranchise voters and call into question the security of our elections,” LA County Supervisor Hilda Solis, told CBS Los Angeles.

On Monday, fellow LA County Supervisor Janice Hahn said voters who dropped off their ballots at the box were already being sent new ballots, reports CBS News. “It’s my understanding that it was malicious. It wasn’t just a kid maybe throwing a match in a box,” said Hahn. “It was some serious vandalism cutting the box, they were determined to really destroy ballots.”

In the state of California, there are criminal and civil penalties for tampering with the voting system. According to the California Secretary of State website, criminal charges are considered a felony and are punishable by up to four years in prison. Additionally, civil charges may be brought by local elections officials that can include fines up to $50,000 for each act of tampering committed.

But this isn’t the first tampering act in recent weeks. As Election Day draws near, numerous instances of violence and misleading voters have been reported. Last week, a security guard assigned to protect a ballot drop box in Baltimore was shot. According to police, he was wounded but none of his injuries are fatal.

Officials in California are also still investigating as many as 50 unauthorized ballot boxes located across Los Angeles, Orange, and Ventura counties placed by the state’s Republican party. Some were falsely labeled “official” drop boxes. Even though California’s Secretary of State and Attorney General ordered that the boxes be taken down claiming they intentionally misled voters, local party members argue that they have broken no laws and, therefore, will not take them down.

It is unclear if all 200 ballots found in the drop box were destroyed, but the investigation is ongoing. Refinery29 reached out to the Los Angeles County Fire Department for more information.

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While sensitive skin requires year-round care, it’s especially important during the colder months, when the dry air outside can make our skin more prone to irritation. On top of that, we’re spending extra time indoors lately, which means even more skin stress from our heaters. That’s why we tapped R29 beauty editor and resident skin-care guru Thatiana Diaz to share her holy-grail products from the CVS All in on Skin event for dealing with sensitive skin during quarantine.

From the gentle-on-skin micellar water that removes any trace of makeup to the brown-sugar honey scrub that doesn’t inflame her rosacea, Diaz spills her best recommendations in the video, above. Shop her picks below, and if you spend $35 on select skin-care at CVS this month, you’ll get $15 ExtraBucks Rewards for even more shopping.

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On Monday, news broke that Jeffrey Toobin, a writer for the New Yorker and a political analyst for CNN, had been suspended. The reason given was because he had “unintentionally” exposed his genitals to his co-workers on a Zoom call. The mere fact that it had taken this long into the pandemic to have a high profile Zoom exposure was surprising enough that many people began sharing their stories of accidentally disrobing on camera (toward the beginning of lockdown, I accidentally flashed my child’s preschool class, believing myself to be out of the camera’s frame, for example).

Soon though, innocent stories of accidental flashing gave way to people — specifically, journalists on Twitter — defending Toobin, since, you know, “it happens to the best of us,” as if, you know, “the best of us” are all pantless during calls with our co-workers. But as more information came to light about the incident, it became clear that this was not some simple accidental flashing after all, and was something more serious: VICE broke the news that Toobin had actually been masturbating on the call. While the new reveal should have changed the nature of the narrative around the incident, instead, even more jokes came fast and furious, flooding our feeds.

As “Zoom Dick” trended on Twitter, Etsy sellers worked to make “I Survived The Zoom Dick Incident of 2020” mugs, and new details revealed that the incident had occurred during a New Yorker election simulation (whatever that is!). People couldn’t get their “you mean election stimulation” and “erection stimulation” jokes off fast enough. The hashtag #MeToobin was full of riffs, including quips about Toobin “just trying to multi-task” and questions about whether his case would “stand up” in court.

While the impulse to joke about the absurdity of getting caught masturbating on a video call with high profile people like Jane Mayer, Masha Gessen, and Jelani Cobb is understandable, and it’s true that humor can be used as a coping mechanism for people who have experienced indecent exposure themselves, the reality is that jokes about Toobin and his exposed penis is both essentially dismissive of a serious incident and also damaging to progress around the ongoing problem of workplace harassment. Though we are at a place where people (mostly) understand that rape jokes are not funny, when it comes to other incidents of sexual violence — which is what masturbating at your non-consenting co-workers is — we don’t seem to comprehend their seriousness.

And this is serious. It’s on par with someone masturbating on a train or in some other public space. The fact that Toobin did this to his co-workers is particularly horrible, as it makes the situation incredibly personal and violating. When we joke about it, we are lessening its impact. We are minimizing the severity of the act of power and violence, allowing others to sweep it under the rug as not a big deal because, hey, everyone laughed about it.

But not only is there nothing funny about what Toobin did, it also reveals a longstanding pattern of excusing his unprofessional behavior. A powerful man within the industry, Toobin is also rumored to have inappropriately propositioned women in the past. In all these situations, he likely thought he could get away with it; either he would not be caught or, if he was, no one would say anything about it because of his position and influence.

Toobin has apologized for the “embarrassingly stupid mistake,” and perhaps it was a mistake that the camera was still turned on, but jerking off either on, or immediately following, a video call with your co-workers is not a mistake — it is an act that requires intention. Part of the thrill may have been related to the fact that he knew there was risk of getting caught, or that he was doing something he should not be doing in a place he should not be doing it, as is often the case with exhibitionism. And, in this instance, he involved non-consenting people: his co-workers. 

Despite this, some men in media are rushing to defend him. In a now-deleted tweet, Vox reporter German Lopez wrote, “Not sure someone getting caught doing something almost everyone does should be a national story.” While it is true that most people masturbate, it is not true that most people do so on a work call— which is the defining distinction in this incident. Meanwhile, NPR’s Peter Sagal has praised Toobin’s political commentary, while CNN’s Brian Stelter focused on the fact that this was a “pivotal moment in the run-up to the election,” rather than on the harm Toobin may have caused.

In a strange deployment of the concept of Occam’s Razor, The Atlantic‘s Conor Friedersdorf tweeted: “When Occam’s Razor suggests someone humiliated himself through a combo of technological error, pandemic circumstances, bad judgment, & bad luck, it seems like we should react w/ empathy, politeness, & forgiveness, as we would want to be treated, rather than punitive mockery.” Attributing the act of masturbating in a work meeting to “pandemic circumstances” and “technological error,” as if the situation were only a problem because Toobin was forced to be on a video call because he had to work from home as a result of our nation’s public health crisis belies its seriousness.

Even if Toobin thought his camera and microphone were off, he still knew he was in a work meeting. And unless you are a sex worker whose job it is to engage in sex acts with consenting coworkers, masturbating in a work meeting is never appropriate, under any circumstances. (I cannot believe I have to type that sentence, but here we are.)

Ultimately, these responses are telling about how we really view sexual violence, particularly in digital space. In an age when cisgender men are still known to send unsolicited pictures of their penises on dating apps and think no big deal of it, is it really so surprising that people will also minimize the seriousness of Zoom masturbation? It can be hard to conceptualize the harm when the predominant narrative implies that the removal of physical proximity also removes the threatening nature of the act. But sexual violence is about power. Toobin was so secure in his that he thought nothing of masturbating during a work meeting, with at least the subconscious assumption that his position would insulate him from any potential fallout.

The jury is still out as to whether Toobin will suffer any real consequences from this; if the powerful white men in media’s responses to the matter are any indication, he won’t. And the jokes that people are making at the expense of the victims of Toobin’s indecent exposure allow the rest of the media to continue to minimize the severity of his actions. Despite all the laughter surrounding the “Zoom dick” incident, though, it’s actually not that funny at all.

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The pride of being #HBCUmade — a graduate from a historically Black college or university — is palpable on social media and in pop culture, and it dates as far back as the early ’90s, when both Martin Lawrence and Will Smith rocked HBCU ‘nalia on their hit shows Martin and The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, respectively.

In partnership with Target, the latest episode of R29 Unbothered’s Go Off, Sis podcast explores how TV shows like A Different World, movies like School Daze and Drumline, and concerts like Beychella, have introduced the layered beauty, excellence, and importance of HBCUs to the masses.

“Pop culture plays such an important role in so many ways. It’s oftentimes our introduction to things,” says Danielle Cadet, host of Go Off, Sis. “For me, A Different World was definitely my introduction to HBCU culture. It was really the first time I saw Black kids in college.”

Whitney Carlisle, a HBCU grad from Florida A&M University (affectionately known as FAMU) and content operations lead at Vice Media Group, felt seen the moment she saw Charmaine Tyesha Brown on A Different World. “She was spunky. She was fast talking. She was energetic. She was always in your business. She was going to correct you when you were wrong. All that is me 1,000%,” says Carlisle.

Cree Summer, who played A Different World’s resident activist Freddie Brooks, joins in to discuss how director Debbie Allen (a Howard University alumna) infused the show with HBCU realness and fought for the cast to tackle issues like date rape and AIDS.

“We had stepping. We had protests. [Debbie Allen] individuated all of these characters so that, as viewers, you could feel represented,” says Summer, who goes on to explain how the parade of celebrity cameos (including Lena Horne, Gladys Knight, and Halle Berry) were stunned by the offscreen shot-callers. “All the chicks that came on were just full of fire. And I remember the one recurring thing: They just couldn’t believe we were being directed by a Black woman, executive produced by a Black woman, and the show starred a Black woman. I mean, everybody couldn’t believe it.”

Summer, who is the voice behind some notable animated Black characters (like Susie Carmichael of Rugrats), also believes in the importance of having Black artists voice Black characters: “If I see a Black character, I want to know there’s a Black person behind it. Otherwise, you don’t understand my struggle.”

To hear Summer talk more about her voice work as well as A Different World‘s long-term cultural impact, listen to the full episode, below.

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