If you're in search of a meaningful tattoo design that makes the pain worthwhile, we've got just the one: a coordinate tattoo. A quick scroll through Instagram will tell you that coordinates are the tattoo trend your best friend, aunt, and college roommate's ex all want — or already have. Why? It checks all the boxes: It's trendy, it's delicate, and it tugs at your heart strings

While the coordinates can represent a number of different things, most people get the longitude and latitude of their happy place (like hometowns and colleges) or specific coordinates to commemorate a life-changing trip. It's sentimental without being too cheesy, it's minimal without being basic, and it's a customized tattoo no matter which artist you go to.

Since the coordinates are unique to you and your place of choice, you don't need to take in as much photo inspiration as you would for your zodiac rising tattoo. With one quick Google search, you should be able to find the exact coordinates you're looking for. Still, there are a few things to consider — like the font, size, and placement — which you can find the answers to, ahead.

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Right now in popular culture, we're fascinated by women who seem to have gotten away with something. Whether it's Elizabeth Holmes fooling investors and the media, Anna Delvey claiming to be a German heiress, or Lori Loughlin's alleged college admissions scam, we can't stop looking at these women — and more specifically, what they are wearing.

On Wednesday, former Vogue staffer Yvonne Bannigan, who is accused of stealing more than $50,000 while she worked as Grace Coddington's assistant, was sentenced to do three years probation. A noted fashion enthusiast, she wore a black-and-white-polka-dot dress for the occasion. Last month, Loughlin was photographed on her way to a court appearance in Boston. The actress, famous for her role on Full House as Aunt Becky and a slew of Hallmark Channel films, took the opportunity to sign autographs for fans outside the court house. She wore a light brown statement suit with a ribbed gray shirt and a pair of leather round-toe boots, topped with a pair of smart-looking eyeglasses.

Loughlin isn't the only famous woman championing a certain aesthetic for their court appearances. Early last week, alleged scammer Anna Sorokin (née Anna Delvey) was to appear in front of the New York Supreme Court but was a no-show — because she didn't have the right outfit. According to The Daily Beast, Delvey is working with former Glamour magazine editor Anastasia Walker to pull together looks for her courtroom appearances.

Her courtroom outfits have even inspired an Instagram account, Anna Delvey Court Looks, that's amassed over 3k followers. The comments range from support with "yes give them docile doll anna" to speculation about whether she is plotting on a new business venture. "Maybe she’s decided to wear it all the time to start a trend," one user wrote of Delvey's choker. "I could very easily see her serving her time and then getting actual investment for a legit business. [...] I think she expects to move past this," the person continued.

For her last two court appearances, Delvey wore delicate, feminine looks. A white lace dress for her final court date, and a black frock belted with a bow for her sentencing. Both looks seem to aim to make her look innocent despite the litany of charges — a ploy that's just as manipulative as the crimes she's been accused of.

Not everyone is as impressed by Delvey's outfit changes, particularly Judge Kiesel. Because Delvey's outfit had not been delivered to Rikers Island Prison, Delvey refused to come before the judge wearing the court-issued black pants and white shirt. “Either the clothes go to Rikers, or she shows up here in black and white,” Judge Kiesel said. “This is the last day we’re playing with clothes.”

The courtroom outfit has long been a subject of fascination. Historically, defendants and plaintiffs alike wear muted, pared-down pieces of clothing to appear solemn in front of the judge and jury. Few courtroom looks have garnered the type of media attention that Lori and Anna now enjoy, except for Naomi Campbell's Azzedine Alaïa dress and Lindsay Lohan's manicure that was a literal Eff You to the judge. What does it say about our culture, and these women, that the courtroom outfit has become akin to a red carpet moment?

With the swarm of photographers, endless news coverage, and celebrity status afforded to defendants like Anna Delvey, it's not surprising that people are treating court appearances like red carpet moments. It's a way for celebrities to act as their own historians, turning every public moment into a photo opp, a headline, a chapter in their memoir, or a visual flashcard about their narrative which they want to control.

By diverting attention to their clothing, they're shifting the focus away from their (alleged) crimes and onto their exterior selves, their taste, and their access to money and luxury. Anna Delvey's fixation on what she wears — and her refusal to show up to court because of her outfit — is blatantly disrespectful to our legal system. And perhaps if Loughlin had spent more time reading her plea deals and less on what she was wearing, she wouldn't be facing more prison time.

Already, courtroom looks are inspiring press releases, Instagram accounts, and trend recaps. The question is ... how far will it go? Once people start using court appearances to promote their fashion lines, for example, we'll really be in trouble.

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In our series My 6-Figure Paycheck , women making more than $100,000 open up about how they got there and what exactly they do. We take a closer look at what it feels like to be a woman making six-figures — when only 5% of American women make that much, according to the U.S. Census — w ith the hope it will give women insight into how to better navigate their own career and salary trajectories.

Today, we chat with a marriage and family therapist from the south Bay Area. Previously, we spoke to a creative director from New York City, NY., a marketing manager from Seattle, WA, a content strategist from San Francisco, CA

Job: Marriage and Family Therapist

Age: 34

Location: South Bay Area, California

Degree: Bachelor's and Master's Psychology

First Salary: $37,000

Current Salary: $116,000

As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

"As a kid, I dreamt of becoming a shoe designer. I carried around sketches and devoted many hours to this passion. In high school, this morphed into telling people I wanted a career in fashion — when truly I didn’t want to continue on to college at all. I attended a private school, and I couldn’t even think of saying out loud I didn’t want to go to college. But, eventually, I ended up at a community college as a business major. I found myself in a child psychology course to fulfill one of my required courses. Everything about psychology spoke to me, and I excitedly changed my major and continued forward full force from there."

What did you study in college?

"I have a Bachelor’s in Psychology and a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy. Additionally, I hold a license in my state allowing me to practice in my field. The license required accumulating 3,000 supervised hours, passing two rigorous state exams, and various ongoing requirements to renew my license every two years as well as continuing education requirements. I also have specialized training within my field in both administrative and clinical skills."

Did you have to take out student loans?

"Yes! I am a first-generation Hispanic female and the second person in my extended family to attend college. My family did not set aside a college fund for me. Like most Hispanic immigrant families, college is unknown territory. I utilized Federal Stafford loans to pay for my undergraduate degree at an in-state public school. After this, I chose to attend a private university to obtain my Master’s degree and took out student loans to fund it.

"I graduated with close to $75,000 in student loans, and over five years since graduation, I now owe over $100,000 due to interest. I do not regret the school I chose, as I felt it helped me make many connections in my career. I continue to take advantage of Public Student Loan Forgiveness programs, but will not see any loan paid off until I complete ten years serving underprivileged populations. I also take advantage of Mental Health Loan Assumption Program that pays up to three times for one year of service obligation. There are other State Loan Repayment Programs available to my field, but the jobs you must accept to complete your loan obligation pay next to nothing. My current student loan payment is about $600, and I feel lucky enough to make enough money to cover this — especially in my field."

Have you been working at this company since you graduated from college?

"I have not been working at this current job since I graduated from college. In order to keep advancing my career, I chose to move to a new job opportunity about once a year. This allowed me lots of upward movement in my career, but also meant having to learn a new job and role often. I started in my field as an unpaid intern, as most individuals in my field start. I worked my way up each year through middle management and finally upper management.

"I gained the most experience in my previous job, where I was the director of an extremely high-profile program that demanded 99% of my time. I was happy to dedicate all of my time knowing it was a stepping stone to my next placement. I worked long hard hours and had no time for family and friends. Recently, I chose to accept a job that was a few steps down in the title in order to start a family. At my current job, I feel I could settle and retire here, especially since the job comes with a county pension."

How would you explain your day-to-day role at your job?

"In my current job, I am responsible for a number of administrative duties relating to meeting state-mandated billing requirements. I also supervise associates who are working towards their licensure. My day-to-day role includes supervising crisis work for clients headed to an inpatient facility. In previous roles, I was heavily involved with the administrative piece, including developing programs, implementing and collecting data for the state, managing staff, analyzing data, writing new policies and procedures, monitoring the program, state audits, submitting for new contracts, writing proposals to the state, and fiscal management."

Did you negotiate your salary?

"Hell yes! I remember vividly when one of my professors had us complete an assignment where we had to compute the salary we were receiving by how much we'd make a minute. This was eye-opening for me. It helped me realize the value of my time.

"With that said, with any job I take on, I make sure I learn the shit out of it and find ways to improve that process. This has allowed me to become indispensable to many employers I have worked for, and allows me to negotiate my salary to ensure I make a fair market rate. I make sure to research the going market rate before asking for a specific salary because knowledge is power.

"Also, I remain open to perks and not just dollars. In my current job, I chose to move to an area where there is a need for individuals with higher education. This meant my husband and I left our friends and family behind, but this job opportunity also put me well over the three-figure salary mark."

Is your current job your “passion”? If not, what is?

"Yes, most definitely! In all honesty, I enjoyed my previous high profile, hectic job more than I enjoy this civil servant job. But it’s the current price I am willing to pay for a good income and long-term retirement."

If you could, would you change anything in your career trajectory?

"I would not — not a thing. I faced many great challenges in every position I've held, and they all forced me to figure things out and keep on climbing towards better pay."

What professional advice would you give your younger self?

"It’s impossible to have it all at once. You have to choose your priorities and decide what is most important to you and only you. Find a passion for what you do, and be the best at it. Make people notice you and need you. Save for your retirement. Inform yourself. It’s no one’s job but yours to make sure you get the information. Know your worth and demand it from others. Become the best damn anything. And always rise to the occasion."

Are you a woman under 35 with a six-figure salary ($100,000+) and want to tell your story? Submit it here.

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The 10-year-old migrant girl from El Salvador who died in federal custody last September has been identified as Darlyn Valle. According to CBS News, Darlyn planned to make the journey from El Salvador to Omaha, NE, to reunite with her mother. But she was apprehended by Border Patrol halfway through, in Texas, in March 2018.

Darlyn, who had a history of congenital heart defects, was placed in an Office of Refugee Resettlement (ORR) facility in Texas. She underwent a surgical procedure and complications left her in a coma, according to U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) spokesperson Mark Weber. (HHS oversees ORR.) Darlyn was only brought to Omaha three days before her death, so she could spend her final moments with her mother. She passed due to fever and respiratory distress.

Her death was only disclosed to the public this week. Darlyn is one of six migrant children, all from Central America, who have died after being detained by the U.S. government over the past eight months. Before this period, no migrant child had died while in federal custody since 2010.

These deaths have intensified questions about conditions in immigrant detention centers and whether federal agencies are equipped to provide adequate medical care for its most vulnerable detainees. Several lawmakers have called for an investigation into the medical practices of the ORR and the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS), which oversees U.S. Immigration Customs and Enforcement (ICE) and U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP). In December, 7-year-old Jakelin Caal Maquin and 8-year-old Felipe Alonzo-Gomez died in custody. In the past month alone, 16-year-old Juan de León Gutiérrez died following an infection, 2-year-old Wilmer Josué Ramírez Vásquez died of pneumonia, and 16-year-old Carlos Hernandez Vasquez died of influenza.

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No matter how you're celebrating Memorial Day Weekend this year — hanging on a beach with a beer and your best friends or taking the time to just chill after a spring filled with commitments — chances are, you're looking forward to the extra day off. More than a break from the hustle of work, MDW is the official entrée into summer. The change in weather, from breezy to scorching, calls for a reassessment of your beauty regimen. Luckily, the three-day weekend is the perfect time to stock up because there are some killer sales going on.

Whether you're looking to save on skin-care essentials, like a new Clarisonic cleansing brush, or you've been looking for an excuse to shop the crème de la crèm e of makeup at Violet Grey, use the handy guide ahead to find all the best beauty deals happening this weekend.

At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.

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There’s one thread that unites all the characters DeWanda Wise has played on screen: They’re all unabashedly confident women. From the astronaut in Jordan Peele’s remake of The Twilight Zone to the real-estate agent in Someone Great, Wise has a tendency to choose roles that are refreshingly real. It makes sense, because it's the way she lives her life, too.

Scrolling through her Instagram, you’ll see Wise completing a skin-care tutorial with products she purchased off Amazon, or twisting Bantu knots from the comfort of her own bathroom. While many Hollywood actresses keep their fans at a distance, or maintain some level of mystery, Wise says, “bump that” and puts it all out there.

That openness is what Wise brings to her role as Nola Darling in Spike Lee’s She’s Gotta Have It. We caught up with Wise ahead of the season two premiere to talk skin care, privilege, and how she's breaking out of the box Hollywood has tried to build around her. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Have you always been as into skin care as you are now?

"I wasn’t 12 with an at-home steamer and an ice roller — Amazon didn’t exist back then. But my mom used to sell Avon. She was a single mom who was always finding another hustle, so I was a product junkie for a very long time. I was moisturizing in the mirror when I was five. For me, skin care is part meditation. It’s something I’ve always been strangely into."

What are your favorite skin-care products right now?

"I use refined coconut oil. I use shea butter. I use things to moisturize that you can buy at the grocery store. There is an element of being super old-school and granola about it. I do the same with my hair. When I’m trying to do a deep mask, I’ll mash up some avocado. You can keep it simple; it doesn’t have to cost a whole lot."

You often hear the phrase "Black don't crack" when people talk about Black actresses, do you ever feel pressure to look ageless?

"A lot of it, for us, is genetic. It’s so funny, when I see celebrities selling certain products, I’m like, 'You don’t need that. You just out here lying, talking about anti-aging when Black don’t crack.' At this point, it’s law. We don’t [crack]. It’s our birthright. We have to suffer through other injustices, so we don’t have to age the way other people do. In that vein, I didn’t grow up with ageism either.

"There are certain things related to my industry that I just don’t care about. When I was on Someone Great, I joked about having a contingency plan. I was like, 'Guys, I'm a PYT now, but in the future, I’m gonna be like Phylicia Rashad. I’m going be this all-knowing, flowy dress-wearing woman who embodies wisdom.' Thankfully, we are seeing more roles for women over the age of 50. I’m inspired by it."

Has anyone ever asked you to change something about yourself to get a role?

"I was moving to L.A. and a well-meaning director was like, ‘You are going to have to straighten you hair all the time and be Barbie and fit into these hyper-Eurocentric modes of beauty and acceptance.' And I was like, ‘Nah, that don’t apply to me.’ The way that I’ve found success so far has been in being me and finding work that allows me to tell my truth.

"I would like to acknowledge my pretty-ass privilege. I feel like people often talk about colorism and certain kinds of privilege. I always acknowledge what it means to walk through the world with this face — shout-out to my parents. It’s a helpful tool in this industry when other people think you are cute."

In an essay for The Guardian, you wrote about the impact of colorism in Hollywood and in your life. How do you combat societal messages that tell you your skin isn't beautiful?

"Thankfully, I took more cues from my personal life than online platforms, magazines, or film. My friends are from completely different backgrounds — whether that is race, class, or orientation. That’s been so important to my self esteem, honestly. I never thought about how powerful it was to be surrounded by people who love you for you.

"That has been instrumental in buffering out the nonsense of the world or this industry trying to put something on me that I didn’t choose for myself. If there is a project, and I’m like, ‘You’re not for me. You’re not my people,' I wipe my feet off at the door and go the other way. Life is too short and there are too many people who are your people to be concerned with the ones who aren’t.

What are some of the boxes people have tried to put you in?

"I’ve been fighting against perceived type since day one. I can’t tell you how many times I would see 'no-nonsense' in a breakdown. I think 'no-nonsense' means chocolate — I don’t know who came up with these rules. I have friends who ask for a character to be pretty and the casting director only brings in fair Black women. I think we will have made it when all those things are obsolete and that is just going to take more and more work."

I've read that you use hairstyles to develop your characters. How do you pick each one?

"I’m super specific about how I style my hair — even when I’m auditioning. The flat twist-out Nola has in season one, that’s what I did in my audition. For Erin in Someone Great, I was choosing hair based on how much she probably wouldn’t fuss with it. I choose hairstyles based on professions and lifestyle and what is historically appropriate, real, and honest.

"I think you can always tell when someone is an artist in every aspect of their life. Hair, for me, has always been another iteration of how I practice my artistry, especially because it can be molded and sculpted in so many different ways."

How did you land on your signature hair color?

"It was an accident. I decided on this hair color for Clara in Underground; s he’s Gullah Geechee. In the process of researching what it would mean to represent that group of human beings in American history, that was the hair color I chose. Because Underground overlapped with the filming of the first season of She's Gotta Have It, it became Nola’s hair color, so I had to keep it. I’m very non-committal and like to switch it up a lot; thank goodness for braids and weaves. This is the longest I’ve had to keep anything besides my husband.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by DeWanda Wise (@dewandawise) on Mar 17, 2019 at 8:52am PDT

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Houston Police Chief Art Acevedo said that he believes 4-year-old Maleah Davis, who has been missing since May 4, has been murdered. Her mother's ex-fiancé Derion Vence has been arrested in connection with her disappearance, accused of tampering with blood evidence linked to Maleah.

"We believe we have a little girl who's been murdered, we believe that she's out there somewhere, and we want to bring her home," Acevedo said on Thursday.

Maleah's mother Brittany Bowens reportedly left the girl with Vence, with whom she had recently ended her engagement, to fly to Massachusetts to attend her father's funeral. Vence originally told Bowens that he, Maleah, and his 1-year-old son were abducted by three men, and that he and the boy were released but Maleah was still missing.

But police said his story didn't add up. They also found blood evidence linked to Maleah in the apartment he shared with Bowens and Maleah. Footage from May 3 reportedly shows Vence carrying multiple bottles of bleach in and out of the apartment, along with a laundry basket containing a black garbage bag.

"I couldn't [help] but ask, 'Is that Maleah?'" Bowens said in a recent interview. "Why do you have that basket when you just got laundry from my mother on the 1st? What are you doing with the basket? What is that? I know our routine. That's not laundry."

Vence's father Joe D. Vence has defended his son. "I believe my son is innocent and I believe his story," he said in a recent interview.

Acevedo said he believes Vence knows where Maleah is and has been deceptive with police. Vence has reportedly refused to provide police with details on Maleah's whereabouts.

"We strongly believe he knows where she's at, and if he wanted to tell us he would," Acevedo said. "But if he's not telling us — which he's not — we want the public to come forward."

"I really believe in my heart of hearts, somebody knows something," Acevedo said. "Somebody has seen something, and somebody hasn't come forward."

Acevedo has offered a $5,000 reward to help find Maleah, even "if I have to pay it myself," he said. Maleah's maternal aunt and uncle have pledged $10,000 for information leading to her discovery, and Houston Crime Stoppers has put up a reward of $5,000.

The police is asking anyone with information on this case to contact the Houston Police Department Homicide Division at 713-308-3600 or Crime Stoppers of Houston at 713-222-TIPS.

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Welcome toMoney Diaries , where we're tackling what might be the last taboo facing modern working women: money. We're asking millennials how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we're tracking every last dollar.

Calling all entrepreneurs: We want to hear from you! If you’re a freelancer or self-employed, we’d love to feature your Money Diary. Submit here.

Hey LGBTQIA++ Community! It’s almost Pride Month and we want to amplify the voices of LGBTQIA++ people. If you're a member of the LGBTQIA++/queer community and have ever thought about filling out a Money Diary, we'd love to feature you! Submit here.

Today: an Engagement Coordinator working in recruiting who makes $52,000 per year and spends some of her money on an impossible burger.

Occupation: Engagement Coordinator
Industry: Recruiting
Age: 30
Location: Chicago, IL
Salary: $52,000 + additional income from freelance acting and makeup jobs is anywhere from $100-$500/month.
Paycheck Amount (biweekly): $1,415.98 after tax/insurance
Gender Identity: Woman

Monthly Expenses
Rent: $900 for a large studio
Student Loans: $324 (I have approximately $20,000 left)
Utilities (Electric, Gas, Internet): $105
Netflix & Hulu: $26
Credit Cards: $500+, depending on how much extra income I make (I have approximately $17,000 in debt over 5 cards. Yes, I was a stupid 22 year old and am still paying for those mistakes.)
iPhone payment: $46
Unlimited CTA Train Pass: $105
Savings: $200 (more if I make more income)
Health and Dental Insurance: $110.94 (pre-tax)
Renters Insurance: $170/year
FabFitFun: $192/year
Calm App: $60/year

Day One

7 a.m. — I can feel myself gently waking up as my boyfriend, P., pulls me in closer to cuddle in bed. I know my alarm has to be going off soon, but I am grateful for these few minutes. Before last night, we hadn't seen each other for 10 days due to being out of town on opposing weeks, and I am so happy to be back in the same city. My alarm chimes five minutes later, but I snooze once so I can snuggle and smooch him a bit more before getting started on my day. I'm going to work out on my lunch break today, so I keep my makeup simple, kiss P. once more, and head out the door.

7:45 a.m. — P. just got back from vacation yesterday, so his kitchen is very short on groceries. I pop in the AmazonGo near my office to grab some breakfast. This place is very Big Brother, and monitors what you grab for yourself without needing to have anyone ring you up for your purchases. It's kinda freaky if you think about it too much, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't love the convenience. I pick up a Luna bar, Califa coffee drink, and a package of raspberries and head out the door. My app chimes a minute later to tell me that my trip took one minute and 57 seconds and cost me $6.83. $6.83

8:35 a.m. — Somehow, I am the only one from my team who has made it into the office so far this morning. I'm pretty caught up on my work, so I decide to take advantage of the lull and browse for some apartments. P. and I plan to move in together in about two months, so even though it's a little early to be looking, I still like to check. The Chicago housing market moves very fast for well-priced places, and I don't want to lose out on something great should it get posted!

12:30 p.m. — I spent the morning bouncing around from project to project. I feel really lucky that there is a lot of variety in my job and that my manager trusts me to get things done on my schedule. I heat up my lunch, which consists of tofu, roasted broccoli, and a mix of cauliflower and brown rice, and try to finish up a few more things so I can get down to the gym.

1:05 p.m. — Finally at a stopping point, I grab my bag and head downstairs. I'm pretty lucky to have an employee gym in this building, because quality gyms in Chicago can be really expensive. I do a quick strength session today, and then take a fast body shower, put on some actual makeup, and fix my hair.

2:10 p.m. — Post-workout snack is two protein balls and some of the raspberries I bought earlier. The gym kicked my butt today. I have only done cardio since I got back from vacation last week, but it felt great to lift heavy shit and feel strong!

3:25 p.m. — Texting back and forth with P. because we found an apartment we both like, and I email the company asking to set up a showing. Of course they pick a time I am unavailable, but P. is free and will check it out. Wouldn't it be lovely if this place was just perfect and we didn't have to apartment hunt anymore? Fingers crossed!

4:45 p.m. — Wrapping up at working and trying to get out the door quickly. Tonight I have a callback for a show I auditioned for last week. I've been very out of the audition game since I became an ensemble member at a theater company, so this is my first time out in a while. It feels good to be auditioning for new people again, and I'm hoping tonight goes well.

8 p.m. — They kept me longer at my callback than intended to have me read multiple roles, which is a good sign, but I am wiped by the end of it. Once I'm done, I'm starving and toying with the idea of a “treat yo' self” dinner, but I give myself the “you have food at home” talk and decide against it. After the short walk back to my apartment, I heat up some TJ's arrabbiata pasta, mix in a generous handful of arugula, and top it off with a touch of truffle salt. I throw on last week's Barry to catch up on while I eat.

9:40 p.m. — After washing the dishes, I realize I'm too sleepy to do much of anything else, so I do my face wash routine and climb into bed. Before turning off the lights, I throw a nice fuzzy blanket on top of me in addition to my covers. It's still freezing in Chicago despite being well into May. I burrow down deep, and hit the lights.

Daily Total: $6.83

Day Two

6 a.m. — My alarm goes off, and I'm strangely thankful. I was having terrible stressful dreams all night long, and don't feel very well rested. I climb out of bed, and change into workout clothes. I throw on a kettlebell YouTube video that I haven't tried before, and honestly find it kind of boring. I get about two-thirds of the way through it, and I'm over it. I shake up some protein powder, coffee concentrate, and water, and stretch for a bit before getting in the shower. I just wash my body, so hair gets re-straightened, simple makeup, and I pack my lunch before heading out the door.

9 a.m. — As I patiently wait for the IT department to finish making updates on my computer, I dig into some chia pudding I made this morning. I browse through more apartments on my phone, but nothing new catches my eye. They wrap up and I go deep into some reports that I need to accomplish sooner rather than later.

11:45 a.m. — After a meeting with my boss, I decide to eat the first half of my lunch. Arugula with tomatoes, hemp seeds, and pesto won't fill me up for long, but I want a little something in my belly before I go down to the gym.

1 p.m. — Time to take a little break. When I don't have a real workout to do on my lunch break, I often will still go down and walk on the treadmill while reading a book. Since so much of my day involves sitting, I try to be as active as I can each day. Plus, it's great to have some dedicated reading time.

2:15 p.m. — Lunchtime part two! I make some miso soup and munch on teriyaki tofu from Trader Joe's. You may think I am a weirdo for just eating tofu by itself, but I love it. Afterwards, I put my head down and finish a few other boring tasks so I can get them out of the way.

4 p.m. — I get an email from FabFitFun that customization for summer boxes is now open, and I scroll through and make my selections. If anyone is on the fence about subscribing, just do it! I pay for a yearly subscription and I find that I made the money back with the first months box, and it lets me try things I might not otherwise know about.

5 p.m. — After work, I meet up with my friend N. so we can take the train north to a local college theater showcase. We are both a part of the same theater company, and I head up the casting department. Since N. is directing one of our shows next season, I figured we can go and see if anyone seems like a good fit.

7:30 p.m. — Overall a good showcase! We identify a few people we would like to invite to our season generals that start this weekend, and make good conversation with a potential tech designer. While there, I indulge in the free bar and appetizers laid out.

8 p.m. — I get a message from P. saying he loved the apartment he saw tonight while I was at this event. Apparently others are interested too, and applications are first-come, first-considered, so he suggests we apply right away. I am nervous to apply for a place without seeing it, but P. and I have had lots of conversations about what we are looking for, so I trust his judgement. I hop in a Lyft home and apply from the backseat. I use $12.33 off a Lyft credit.

8:20 p.m. — I get dropped off, and as I am leaving the car, I realize I don't have my backpack. I have a flashback of putting it down at the college to start working on the apartment application while waiting for the Lyft. I curse myself for my stupidity and call another car to take me back up there and hope that it's still where I left it. I use up $11.52 of my credit on the trip back.

8:40 p.m. — Hallelujah, it's still there. I give my bag the middle finger and once again call a car. I'm out of credit, so this ride costs me $11. $11

9 p.m. — I'm grumpy and hungry, so I decide to Postmates myself some dinner. Thankfully it comes quickly, so 20 minutes and $22.65 later, I have dinner and put a stupid movie on to try to peak my spirits. $22.65

10:30 p.m. — I get a notification that our application for the apartment is being moved to the next step, so that lifts my mood a bit. I wash my face, text P. the good news, and climb into bed.

Daily Total: $33.65

Day Three

6:30 a.m. — My alarm goes off after a restless night. I woke up around 2:45 a.m. and struggled to get back to sleep. I curse my choice to eat so late last night. I skipped my workout to get more sleep, but I still need to wash my hair, so I hop in the shower and get ready for work.

7:30 a.m. — Leave my apartment and also curse myself for not pre-planning a breakfast or lunch for today. I swing by Starbucks for a Venti iced coffee, bagel, and avocado spread. I use $7.90 of my preloaded app. Gotta get those stars!

12:45 p.m. — I have been trying to keep myself busy all morning, since I am feeling very anxious regarding our apartment application. They said we *should* hear today whether or not we have been accepted, and of course I can't help but refresh my email continuously. I need to get out of the office to clear my head, so I decide to get some Noodles and Company for lunch ($11.48) and then take a little walk outside. Even though it's gloomy, the weather is warm today, so I try to relax and enjoy having a break from the computer. $11.48

2:20 p.m. — Well, it's official: we got approved for the apartment. I'm happy, but also kinda mind blown how quickly this has all gone! This time yesterday neither of us had even seen the place, and now it's ours. I'm still trying to make sure I get to see the apartment before we officially sign, but the landlord said they'll only hold the space till tomorrow night, since they've gotten so much interest in the unit. I'm hoping the current tenants are flexible and let me come by to see the place tonight so we can sign on the dotted line.

5 p.m. — I still haven't heard from the landlord if I can see the apartment, and I'm starting to get nervous. P. is still at work, so I head towards his place and stop at the bar right by the train to get a happy hour summer shandy ($4 with tip). I message the landlord once more, and he responds saying that the tenants just let him know that I can see the place at 6:15! I message P. and tell him to meet me up there if he can. $4

6:30 p.m. — So happy I got to view the apartment, and I am ready to take the leap! It's bright and spacious, and has tons of upgraded features. I'm still in awe of how quickly this happened, but I'm grateful we were able to find a place with such ease. The landlord tells us that first month's rent and a one month security deposit will be due when we sign the lease. Oh boy. I have been saving the last few months in anticipation of this very moment, but I shed a mental tear as this will take a huge chunk out of my savings. We thank the landlord, and head towards P.'s apartment, so I can drop off my work bag.

7:15 p.m. — Back on the train with P., and we head into the Loop to go to a friend's graduate art program showing. They have some snacks and beer as part of the reception. The food doesn't look appetizing to me, but I do have a pineapple lager and browse around the different showcases.

8:40 p.m. — The time snuck up on us, and neither of us had dinner. We wrangle three friends of ours who were also at the showing to go grab some food. I order us a Lyft XL ($19.90) and head back up towards P.'s neighborhood. The place we initially wanted to go to is closing shortly, so we go to a pub around the corner instead. I get some crispy cauliflower tacos and an IPA. It's not enough food, but I also ate too late last night, and I don't want to overdo it again. I give $20 in cash towards the bill. $39.90

10:20 p.m. — P. and I walk to his place and are completely pooped. We did not intend for this art showing to turn into an all-night affair, so we decide to just climb into bed. I wash my face and doze off on his chest while he calls his mom quickly before turning off the light.

Daily Total: $55.38

Day Four

5 a.m. — I can't believe my body is playing me so dirty this week. I wake up hellishly early yet again for no reason. I feel P. pull me in close, and I go in and out of sleep till my alarm goes off two hours later. I wonder if I'll ever wake up feeling well rested.

7:30 a.m. — After quickly getting ready and kissing P. goodbye, I head out to the train. I get off one stop early so I can swing by a fancy donut shop. One of my teammates' birthday is over the weekend, so I pick up a dozen assorted donuts for everyone to share, and then walk the 15 minutes to my office. ($37.46 expensed)

10:30 a.m. — Fridays are a busy day for me typically, but I can't stop daydreaming about furniture and apartment layouts. I'm already distracted, so I take 15 minutes to pay some bills online since today is payday. I also take a look at Wayfair and bookmark a few things I like and then go on Amazon to purchase the cart I've had sitting there for a few days that includes a Switch game for my nephew's birthday next week, face serum, witch hazel, and cacao nibs. $111.77

11:30 a.m. — The donut I had this morning did not sustain me, and unfortunately I didn't bring anything for lunch. I paid for lunch and dinner yesterday, and am going out with friends tonight, so I decide to suck it up and scrounge around for desk snacks so I don't need to buy anything. I make some teriyaki noodles, and my coworker reminds me about the belated Cinco de Mayo happy hour we are having later, so I know I'll have chips and guac in a few hours too.

12:55 p.m. — As I head out of the office to go on a lunchtime walk, I get an email that I have been offered a role in the show I had a callback for earlier in the week. It's a smaller part, but it should be really fun to play. I send an email to accept and head out into the sunshine with a smile on my face.

3 p.m. — Guacamole, salsa, and a cerveza makes ending this Friday slightly more tolerable. I power through the last of my to-do list, and even though I get a last minute request, I still am able to finish everything. I take a few minutes at the end of the day to print out everything we will need for our theater auditions tomorrow and then head out.

5:35 p.m. — I get a solo seat on the Metra and begin the trek out to the suburbs. Having girl time tonight with two of my best friends, and they both live outside the city. It's easier for me to take the train to them rather than have them battle Friday traffic into the city. It's annoying, but worth it to hang out with them. This train is not covered under my unlimited pass, however, so I pay $8.50 to cover my trip there and back. $8.50

7:25 p.m. — Dinner was so fun, albeit a little quick. The place we picked was very loud, but the food was great. I had two ciders and an impossible burger with fries. Since we were celebrating my friend's birthday, I split the bill with our other friend ($43 with tip). I get back on the train and begin the long journey home. $43

9:10 p.m. — Finally all the way home. I change into comfy clothes and catch up on Jane the Virgin while I soak off my gel manicure.

10:30 p.m. — I decide to take some Zzzquil to help me sleep tonight since I haven't gotten much rest the previous few nights. I climb into bed and fall asleep quickly.

Daily Total: $163.27

Day Five

8:05 a.m. — I wake up 25 minutes before my alarm, and scroll through my phone for a few minutes before hopping in the shower. I want to look presentable for our auditions taking place today, so I put on a nice sweater and do a full face of makeup. I pack my backpack with clothes as well since I'll be staying at P.'s the rest of the weekend.

9:45 a.m. — I swing by Starbucks to get a big coffee and a sandwich to eat later while at auditions. My app is running low, so I top it off with another $20. I hop on the train and get to the theater with enough time to get everything ready before auditions start. $20

5:55 p.m. — Seven hours and 80 actors seen. It's been an exhausting day. I wanted to go straight to P.'s, but I realized I forgot my medicine at home, so I take the train and the bus to my place to pick it up before heading out again. I also grab some cash I have tucked away so I can go to the bank and pay for the first month's rent on the new apartment that is due this weekend.

7:45 p.m. — As I'm on the train to P.'s, I pay for the rent online ($2,075). I am taking care of this, and P. will send in the one month security deposit. All of a sudden, the move feels real. I spend the rest of the train ride dreaming of furniture and decor. $2,075

8:15 p.m. — P. sweetly got Thai food delivered for us, since he knew I had a long day. I change into some comfy clothes and snuggle right up next to him as we eat on the couch. Afterwards, P. convinces me to start 24. He loves it and has been wanting to do a rewatch. I oblige and spend the first three episodes thoroughly stressed out. It definitely hooks us both! I start to get too sleepy and don't think I could power through another episode, so we climb into bed and turn off the lights.

Daily Total: $2,095

Day Six

8:10 a.m. — I wake up a few minutes before my alarm, and go through the customer list for the food tour today that I will lead. It's always tough to work over the weekend, but I'm lucky to have some side hustles that are really enjoyable. P. wakes up with his alarm, and we spend 30 minutes in bed cuddling and being silly before getting ready for our days.

10:15 a.m. — P. is kind enough to get me a coffee before we head different directions. I get on the bus and head down to where I will meet my tour group. I stop in Walgreens quickly to buy a protein bar to get me through all the walking over the next few hours. $2.34

2 p.m. — The day is cold and blustery, but we have a great tour. It's always fun to be able to share good food and teach people things about the city that I love so much. I get $60 in tips, which will be a great addition to the base pay I make for these tours. I check my phone and see a text from my mom thanking me for the bouquet I sent to her house today for Mother's Day. I'm bummed I can't see her, but I'm happy I could do a little something to make her day brighter. One of the new guides from my company shadowed my tour today, so I suggest we grab a snack and catch up on how she thinks it went. We go by a great taco place, and get queso and two margaritas to share, and I get a single taco for myself. I put everything on my card, but she gives me cash for her portion. $19.77

3:30 p.m. — After leaving, I catch the bus back towards P.'s place. It's his turn for a long day, so I decide to make him his favorite meal for dinner. I go to the grocery store and get red peppers, noodles, garlic, shallots, almond milk, nutritional yeast, bread, and asparagus. I also get some dark chocolate for dessert and a few granola bars to keep in my desk at work. I breeze through the checkout ($27.29), and walk the 10 minutes back to P.'s apartment. $27.29

4:00 p.m. — I decide to be an extra good girlfriend and do some laundry as well while P. is out before I start cooking dinner. While that is going, I play some Spyro on P.'s Playstation. I loved this game as a kid, and it's so fun to revisit this world again. I start getting frustrated on my quest for more orbs after a couple hours, so I throw on some trashy reality TV and start cooking.

8:15 p.m. — P. finally gets home and is so excited that I surprised him with his favorite meal. We sit down to eat right away, and even though we both have full bellies, we drift to the bedroom and have adult time. Afterwards, it's time for Game of Thrones. I feel like so much has been leading up to this penultimate episode, I am so curious as to how it is going to go.

11:30 p.m. — Well, that is not what I was expecting. No spoilers, but I don't know how to feel! I am shocked, but not completely surprised. The final episode next week will be interesting for sure. P. and I both get ready, and climb into bed.

Daily Total: $49.40

Day Seven

7:05 a.m. — My alarm goes off and I am so not ready for Monday to be here. The downfall of being so busy on the weekends is that Monday seems to hit me even harder. I snooze my alarm twice, not wanting to leave my little love cocoon, but eventually climb out of bed to get ready. I re-straighten my hair, throw on mascara and brow gel, kiss P. once more, and head out the door. Once I'm at work I put a K-cup in our Keurig machine, eat one of the granola bars I bought yesterday, and dive into my to do list.

11:45 a.m. — I've spent all morning either in meetings or working on getting reports put together and I am super hungry. I heat up some of the pasta leftovers from last night, but wish I had a whole lot more. I am not going to take a real lunch break today, so I can leave work a little early.

1:35 p.m. — Even though I'm not taking an actual lunch break, I need to step away from the computer a bit and get some fresh air. I'm also still really hungry, so I decide to take a walk to AmazonGo and get myself a snack. I pick up a bag of BBQ kettle chips and a lemon San Pellegrino, and walk out. My app dings to tell me I spent $2.58. $2.58

4:35 p.m. — As I pack up to leave work, I order some dinner to pick up on the way to the train. I get some tofu poké with lots of veggies and pay $12.88 via my Ritual app. I have to make the journey all the way north again for another night of auditions, so I hop on the train and luckily get there nice and early. $12.88

11:05 p.m. — It was great to see so many auditions tonight, but I am beyond wiped. I forgo the long train ride for the convenience of a Lyft ($13). The car ride makes me kind of nauseous, so I am so thankful to get home. I immediately wash my face and climb into bed, and am out within seconds. $13

Daily Total: $28.46

Money Diaries are meant to reflect individual women's experiences and do not necessarily reflect Refinery29's point of view. Refinery29 in no way encourages illegal activity or harmful behavior.

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At this point, we've tossed every fashion rule out the window. We clash colors, mix prints, and pair our socks with open-toe sandals. Our favorite sartorial law to break? Wearing white after Labor Day. After all, why would anyone stop wearing the most striking hue on the color wheel just because the season changes?

In the name of Memorial Day weekend 's long-awaited arrival — and our penchant for rule-breaking — we're paying homage to the one trend that will never die: all-white-everything.

Thanks to some of fashion's most daring, we have plenty of white sartorial inspiration to draw from. From long linen sundresses to monochrome matching sets, here are a ton of rule-breaking looks that will inspire you — from Memorial Day to Labor Day and beyond.

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We’ve made a national pastime out of complaining about bikini shopping. But if you ask us, far more excruciating (and less discussed) is what it takes to prepare your body for bikini shopping — and for wearing a bikini every single time thereafter.

No, we're definitely not talking about rigorous fitness routines; after all, the first and only step to getting a beach body is to have a body. This is about the measures we take to clear the hairs that insist on cropping up just outside the bikini line. Whether you shave, wax, or sugar, none of it is pleasant — and nearly all methodologies can spur redness, bumps, and irritation (which, frankly, we’re not convinced looks any better than exposed pubes).

As New York-based dermatologist and dermatopathologist Adarsh Vijay Mudgil, MD, explains, "Bikini rash (also known as folliculitis) ​happens because of inflammation around the hair follicle that occurs after shaving or waxing. ​Because the hair is generally coarser in the bikini area relative to other parts of the body, irritation from shaving or waxing is more common.​"

It’s a raw deal, but our quest for smooth skin prevails. So this swim season, why not circumvent the whole masochistic cycle by preventing bikini rash before it sets in? Dr. Mudgil helps us formulate a game plan, ahead.

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Of all the women who've tried to bring the late actress Sharon Tate's life to the big screen (Hilary Duff in The Haunting of Sharon Tate, Kate Bosworth in the forthcoming Tate...), few have done it quite like Margot Robbie. But Robbie — who plays Tate in Quentin Tarantino‘s upcoming (and supposedly final) film Once Upon a Time in Hollywood — doesn't just pay homage to the tragic star in the new movie: S he's also memorializing her through her Cannes Film Festival beauty looks.

Although Tarantino was criticized for giving Robbie's character fewer lines than most would expect, that didn't stop Robbie from stealing the spotlight with her braided hairstyle when the film premiered at Cannes earlier this week. Turns out, those face-framing plaits have been to Cannes before — on Tate herself, back in 1968.

The copycat look created by hairstylist Bryce Scarlett is modeled after the one Tate wore at the same French film festival 50 years prior, just shy of a year before she was brutally murdered by members of the Manson Family.

As one of the only actresses to ever get the Tate family blessing, it makes sense that Robbie would channel the late star with a sweet, albeit subtle, tribute. Despite the controversy surrounding Robbie's lines (or lack thereof), the Academy Award nominee didn't take playing Tate lightly. “It was immensely important for me to honor Sharon’s generous spirit,” she told People. “I felt an enormous sense of responsibility. She really was such a beautiful character to play.” Now that's worth a six-minute standing ovation.

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Missouri Gov. Mike Parson signed a measure into law banning abortions at eight weeks of pregnancy, with no exceptions for cases of rape or incest. House Bill 126, known as the Missouri Stands for the Unborn Act, makes it a felony to perform abortions after the eight-week mark. Doctors who offer abortions at or after that stage could face five to 15 years in prison. The measure is meant to go into effect on August 28, 2019, although it's expected to be challenged in court.

HB 126 is part of a larger wave of anti-choice legislation that has been passing at the state level with the goal of overturning or undermining Roe v. Wade, the 1973 U.S. Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion nationwide.

More than a dozen states are considering banning abortions as soon as a "fetal heartbeat" is detected, which typically happens at around six weeks of gestation, before many women know they're pregnant. Four states — Kentucky, Mississippi, Georgia and Ohio — have signed those bills into law in the past few months. Last week, Alabama Gov. Kay Ivey signed into law a measure that bans abortion at any stage of gestation, except in cases in which the woman's life is in danger. These early abortion bans are unconstitutional due to Planned Parenthood v. Casey, which upheld a woman's right to choose an abortion before viability. (Researchers say a fetus is not considered viable until around 22 weeks of pregnancy.) The extreme anti-choice measures are also part of a larger trend: In the first three months of 2019, anti-choice lawmakers in 41 states introduced over 250 bills restricting access to abortion care.

"Gov. Parson has put the health and lives of Missouri women at risk in his race to make our state the one that overturns Roe v. Wade at the Supreme Court. The vast majority of Missourians oppose attempts to undercut Roe and do not want politicians interfering in the doctor-patient relationship," M’Evie Mead, director of Planned Parenthood Advocates of Missouri, said in a statement provided to Refinery29. "These bans on safe, legal abortion will have real costs — expensive legal costs and human costs for the women and families who need reproductive healthcare."

Missouri ranks #41 nationwide when it comes to healthcare, according to a U.S. News & World Report ranking published this month. Missourians already face many roadblocks in obtaining access to abortion care: There is currently only one abortion provider left in the entire state. Abortions are currently banned in Missouri after 24 weeks of gestation, and women seeking to terminate their pregnancies must undergo a 72-hour waiting period before they can access the procedure.

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For some of us, the first Monday in May is an unspoken national holiday, where we take a break from working around 5 PM to bear witness to all the lewks being served up on the Met Gala’s pink carpet. However, we occupy quite a specific niche, and for most Americans, the last Monday in May is actually the most important one, where we enjoy a full day off to commemorate service in the US military.

It’s also become the unofficial first day of summer, and therefore a fertile time of year for sales. As we’re well into spring deliveries and on the brink of pre-fall (the fashion cycle is so cruel!), it’s the perfect moment for retailers big and small to mark the holiday by offering discounts of many shapes and sizes. And you better believe we get wind of all of them.

There were so many, in fact, that we had to collect them all in one handy-dandy spot for you to bookmark — and check often. This story is very much live and getting updated the moment our ears perk up with news of another markdown. So whether you’re enjoying a staycation this weekend or getting the heck out of dodge, click through to see what discounts your favorite stores are offering, to help you kick off your summer in style.

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When Tiffany*, 33, started working as a social media director at a start-up in Washington D.C., she immediately clicked with her boss (who we’ll call Layla). Layla was friendly and funny, and both women bonded about being women of color in the workplace. “She sort of lit up the room when she walked in, her energy was electric,” Tiffany told Refinery29. But soon, Layla’s behavior started to make Tiffany uneasy.

A few weeks after Tiffany started, Layla began to call her after hours to vent — “first [it was] about work, then it became personal.” Tiffany said. Initially, Tiffany was open to engaging in the conversations as she wanted to impress her new boss, but she quickly started to feel uncomfortable. “I realized she was often calling me to gossip about her bosses or employees she hated,” Tiffany said. “Once she even called me to tell me she was overwhelmed with trying to figure out a way to push some of [her] peers out of the company.” Before too long, Tiffany realized something wasn’t right.

Like Tiffany, many professionals have found themselves wanting to develop a connection with their boss — but building a bond with your supervisor can be tricky. On one hand, a strong relationship with a boss can be a foundational career investment and contribute to better communication and collaboration. On the other hand, blurred boundaries between professional relationships and personal friendships can quickly get complicated. Given the fine line separating the two, an important question arises: How close is too close?

Olivet Nazarene University recently set out to identify the new norms of boss-employee relationships in the U.S. The survey of 3,000 people found that one in three workers had had a boss ask for personal advice, one in four of those surveyed had hung out with their manager socially, and one in 20 said they were connected to their boss on Instagram or Snapchat. And while the survey found that certain levels of intimacy with a boss — such as meeting their child or significant other — can actually correlate with worker happiness, this isn’t always the case.

Jillian*, 29, quickly struck up a friendship with her boss at her tech company in Austin, Texas. The two women were similar in age and, from the beginning, her boss tried to get to know Jillian and the rest of her teammates. “She often invited [us] to her house for social events like holiday parties, and team meals,” Jillian told Refinery29.

There were times where she would be working from home and take a video conference call while sitting in bed, with her partner [sleeping] shirtless next to her.

But over the course of Jillian's one-on-one meetings, her boss began to share about her past queer relationships. Jillian, who identifies as queer, found this to be an uncomfortable topic to discuss with a new supervisor. "It was as if she was trying to bond over [our] shared queerness," she said. And this wasn’t the only time Jillian was made to feel uneasy by her boss’ behavior: “There were times where she would be working from home and take a video conference call while sitting in bed, with her partner [sleeping] shirtless next to her,” said Jillian.

Though Jillian and Tiffany’s experiences with their bosses weren’t entirely positive, some relationships of this nature are. Abby, 29, ended up developing a very close relationship with her boss while working as a senior account executive at a PR agency. The two would go on vacations together and brunch on the weekends, and acted as each other’s sounding boards for both personal and professional challenges. Abby owed this closeness to the non-hierarchical culture at her company, adding that the two made sure to set clear boundaries — "there [was] an understanding that [our] friendship does not affect work."

According to Abby, the relationship with her boss enhanced her ability to work productively and effectively. “While for some people, there can be such a thing as ‘too close,’ it never felt that way for me,” Abby told Refinery29. She added that the two were honest, transparent, and respectful with one another — “just as good friends should be.” Ultimately, Abby credits her friendship with her boss to her success in her role. “Our friendship allowed us to work better together, and ultimately, drove better results for the projects we managed together.”

Defining what constitutes an appropriate or inappropriate relationship with a boss varies from person to person. “[The relationship] is okay as long as both parties feel comfortable,” says Ariel Schur, LCSW is the CEO and founder of ABS Staffing Solutions. Ariel started her career as an Employee Assistance Program counselor for employees of Fortune 500 companies — and she admits she, too, once became friends with a former boss.

Though Ariel’s relationship with her boss was healthy, she acknowledges that befriending your supervisor can be tricky territory. “Some people might feel that their boss is contacting them too often, which could be distracting if you are looking to shut off for the night post work,” Ariel told Refinery29. “Being friends with your boss on social media can also be tricky — you don't necessarily want your boss knowing your weekend plans or where you went after work.”

For this reason, Ariel recommends reflecting on the type of relationship dynamic you might feel comfortable with — and being very clear about your limits from the beginning. “Unless you set forth very clear boundaries and make a concerted effort to adhere to them, it’s very easy to cross lines,” Ariel said, acknowledging that as people spend more time at work, these lines between the personal and professional can easily blur. “We spend [over] 40 hours a week at our desk, so it's natural to want to have a sense of closeness with your boss.”

Unless you set forth very clear boundaries and make a concerted effort to adhere to them, it’s very easy to cross lines.

While boundary setting is always a good idea, Ariel also recommends listening to your intuition. “If something feels off, don't ignore the uncomfortable feeling,” she said. If a relationship or dynamic veers into dangerous or uncomfortable territory, say something, she adds. “Don't be afraid to speak up, and don't allow yourself to feel like you 'deserved' it in any way.”

Tiffany’s troubled dynamics were resolved after her boss was transferred to a new location after several employees reported her for inappropriate behavior. And though the situation was settled, it left a lasting impression on her. “I realized it’s naïve to assume that just because [your] boss is ‘cool’ or looks like you means they will be supportive, professional, [or] a good mentor,” Tiffany said. “I’ve learned that the goal is not to be your boss’s pet — [it’s] to be the best at what you do and earn the respect of your team.”

As for Jillian, she was abruptly let go after her tech company had a large layoff. And though she is currently out of work, she says her experiences with her old boss are helping her in her job search. “I’m ensuring I look out for some of these signs in future bosses as I interview for new jobs,” Jillian said. “I am learning that it's important to trust my gut — if something seems 'off' there's usually a good reason for it.”

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A Walt Disney World employee named Frederick Pohl, Jr. has been accused of trying to arrange an encounter in which he would sexually abuse an 8-year-old girl, according to an NBC News report. Pohl, 40, allegedly sent explicit images of himself to who he thought was the girl, but turned out to be an undercover agent, and was arranging to meet her at a hotel in Orlando.

He was arrested and detained on Tuesday and charged with transferring obscene materials to a minor and attempting to entice a minor, the U.S. Attorney's Office for the Middle District of Florida said in a written statement. Pohl was arrested as soon as he arrived at a Days Inn in Orlando. He was in possession of condoms and a child-sized pink dress at the time of his arrest.

According to the criminal complaint, the Disney employee had engaged in “online chat communications” with who he believed was an 8-year-old child and her father, but he had actually been chatting with an undercover federal agent.

Pohl is a Clermont, FL, resident and worked at the Magic Kingdom at Disney World. (Disney has not commented on the matter, yet.) Heavy reported that Pohl was already a convicted felon and was previously investigated by Homeland Security Investigations for a similar infraction. In 2004, he was convicted of check fraud, as well as grand theft, a felony, and sentenced probation both times. In 2006, Pohl spent time in jail after his probation was revoked. The probation violation came after he was convicted for selling alcohol to a minor, according to court documents. In 2007, Pohl reportedly chatted online with a Vancouver Police Department detective who was posing as a 13-year-old Canadian girl and attempted to set up a meeting with the girl. Pohl also sent the agent child pornography via Yahoo Messenger, but he was not arrested as a result of the investigation.

Heavy also published the full affidavit, which includes a chat log between Pohl, who used the pseudonym “Mike,” and the undercover agent, where you can see evidence that Pohl was sending sexually explicit messages and arranging to meet with the child for the purpose of a "sexual encounter."

If convicted of the charges, Pohl faces a maximum penalty of life in prison.

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Eighteen-year-old Memphis Murphy has just called dibs on her mother Sydney Oliver's padded, chain-handle bag — while her mother is carrying it. Sydney can't help but laugh at her daughter's audacity and perhaps at the fact that, for all their aesthetic differences — one's style is inspired by early-noughties punk rock, the other by presidents' wives and disco — they're not so very different.

For Memphis and Sydney, fashion has functioned as a shared passion — and career (Sydney owns a designer vintage clothing rental business and recently opened a talent agency, while Memphis, a DJ and model, works primarily with fashion brands). Fashion has also been a testing ground, a bonding activity for a family of two who mean everything to each other, and a safe space for Memphis, who is trans, to become who she was always meant to be. And in their shared growth, style has become a conduit, especially in the bags Sydney hands down — or the ones Memphis sneaks from her mom's glam-prim wardrobe to pair with her own slashed slogan tees and diamanté low-rise denim.

Still, spend any amount of time with these two women, and it becomes evident that, even in a relationship as close as theirs, there is still room for a parent to view their child with a sense of wonder, to marvel a person who was formed in their image and brought up with their guidance, but is still very much her own person. At various points during our conversation with the two women, Sydney looks at her daughter with a mixture of pride and worry and doting exasperation that, altogether, we might call love.

Style is an individual choice, but the people we're close to often weigh heavily on what we wear. So ahead, in their own words, Memphis and Sydney explore their sartorial resemblance (and differences) — and the knowledge, the understanding, and the journey they've taken side by side.

Sydney Oliver: "I collect tons of clothes and bags, and when I’m done with them, I eventually say, 'Oh, do you want this?' I’m always so surprised by what she wants. It’s totally not the style of what I would want, but then she has things I liked 20 years ago. So it all resurfaces."

Memphis Murphy: "I'd say I’m definitely inspired by my mom. Her being in fashion and getting to grow up around that is awesome and has helped me want to dress nice in my own way, putting together things I feel fit my personality the most. We have different taste — I’d say my style is very early 2000s, kind of '90s, but with a futuristic twist. With my hair, I like to do a lot of current trends with colors. But with fashion, I’m really obsessed with low-rise flare pants and crop tops and certain iconic brands from the early 2000s."

SO: "[Her style is] scary. No, I’m kidding. Well, no, I’m not. Her style is so unique because she picked up one of my habits, which is thrift stores. When I moved to New York, that’s all I could afford. So we would go shopping together a lot — it was a way to keep connecting, plus not spending a lot of money. We’d find some incredible things, because we both have great eyes. There are probably five pairs of scissors in her room; she cuts every piece of clothing. She buys something new, and I’ll see the bottom of it on the floor. I’m like, 'Okay, what happened?' So she’s very creative."

MM: "Experimental."

SO: "[My style is] conservative, yet edgy. I don’t think I dress my age —"

MM: "What does that even mean, by the way?"

SO: "I don’t know! I’m from Ohio, so women, stereotypically, don’t dress the way I dress. I love really nice things, and presenting well is so important to me. And working in the fashion industry for so long, you start developing your own uniform. I find that I wear that uniform —"

MM: "Every day. I would describe my mom’s style as regal, kind of like an English queen but very '60s and spunky and disco-y. Very lioness vibes. The jewelry — I feel like this is so Leo."

SO: "I love that '60s vibe, too, because I was born in the '60s, so I just went along with that my whole life."

MM: "She tells me all the time like, 'I want to see you in a nice dress.' I think she’d like to see me more seamless."

SO: "She loves getting her hair braided, so that’s part of her whole style. I love it when it’s just pulled back from her face. She looks very beautiful, and she can’t stand that. But she has to have her own style."

MM: "I dress up sometimes. If it fits."

SO: "Well, if there’s a funeral."

MM: "No, no, not a funeral."

SO: "You know what I mean! I worry about those days. What if one comes, what are we going to do?"

MM: "I can pull it out."

SO: "I would like to see her be a little more like a chameleon, but I think that will come. I’ll just let her develop. I’m not shy about saying how I feel, but I would never say, 'Don’t wear that.'"

MM: "Just me being trans, style really comes into play. When I was a kid, I had boy [school] uniforms and had to wear them every day. It was honestly traumatizing. You encouraged me to dress how I wanted, and that was a really big factor in our relationship, enforcing the woman that I am. She would always let me walk around the house in princess dresses, just being really chill about it. And that’s something I really appreciated, especially coming up and trying to find my own style as a trans [woman], trying to figure out what fits me and what makes me feel the most comfortable. There was also a moment, when I first started sixth grade, when the transition started, where [I went] from trying to present more masculine or as a gay man to being a woman. And that was something she figured out, [that I was] sneaking bras to school and stuff like that."

SO: "Well, you know how I found out was from our doorman. He said, 'Memphis, before she goes to school, she comes down in the lobby and changes her clothes.' I was more worried about her safety than anything. But then, as her transition became —"

MM: "Serious and real."

SO: "Serious and real, then obviously, everything started to transition. And then I felt way more comfortable, because we’d go out, and people would say, 'Welcome, ladies.' Like all of a sudden, I felt safer once everyone else was seeing us as that."

MM: "Also, I think you seeing me more comfortable with myself probably helped you feel less worried about it because you know I’m confident in my look. I do this because this is who I am, and I’m not really afraid of what people say."

SO: "She's more confident in how she presents than I am as a woman of 53. It’s crazy. That self-confidence, she has extra."

MM: "For me, you’re the only woman in my life I’ve ever had as a role model to look up to. And so I guess I learned about femininity through you. Just seeing the way you live your life, your everyday regimens — being in the bathroom doing your hair for two hours or putting on makeup."

SO: "I find a lot of things in our DNA are just the same. I was adopted, so she’s really my only blood relative. She's a DJ, I was a DJ. For the most part, we always agree. So I realize nature versus nurture — a lot of it is just nature. And people say, when they see us photographed, 'You look so much alike when you look at the faces.'"

MM: "Having a single mom who was so accepting, that was a huge privilege that I never take for granted. And definitely passing your knowledge as a woman, the way you're perceived by the world as a woman, taught me that there are differences in the way people will treat you as a girl and especially as a trans girl. She definitely helped me prepare and let me know that it wasn’t going to be easy but that she was going to be there for me. I just feel like you teach me everything you can."

SO: "We both have learned so many lessons. I definitely think I passed down a lot of responsibility factor. Even at school, she’d be on time at 7 in the morning. She’d get up herself. Passing those things down, when you don’t even know you’re doing it — maybe she learned through observing — that’s really nice to know. When she’s not with me, I know she’s still being a good person."

MM: "Something you’ve done that means a lot to me is listening to me and hearing me as an actual person, not just a kid."

SO: "I guess what Memphis has done for me without even knowing — it sounds like a line from a movie, but she made me a better person. Before she came along, I was a little bit frivolous of a person working in the fashion industry. And then when life hits you, and you have a person who’s going through serious, adult issues, it changes everything. It changed me and my perception of how catty people were, my perception of what real problems are. So without her in my life, I’d probably be a really shallow person. My friends are like, 'You’re such an amazing mom.' I’m embarrassed when they tell me [that]. I don’t look at it that way; I just look at it like being a parent. For me, I probably grew up 20 years later than I should have. I left home very young, when I was 16. My mother died when I was young. I didn’t have a lot of parental guidance, and I never really wanted to have kids. And when I was 34, I got pregnant —"

MM: "And you had the baddest bitch."

SO: "She and I will always have this special bond from everything we’ve gone through. And it’s not even done. I can’t wait to see what she becomes, what she does with her life. We had to make some big decisions, and those decisions were difficult to make. And now look at who she's become. She’s one of the most positive people I know. And she’s always trying to help people; that’s one of her strong suits. Memphis might as well be a psychiatrist."

MM: "If you’re able to help, then help. That’s how I think about it. To help someone going through a hard time, fucking do that shit because a) it’s good karma and b) helping people just feels so good."

SO: "I look forward to what's next. Who knows?"

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

All clothing shown is from the Gucci 2019 Pre Fall Collection.

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Side hustles, contract work, and freelance gigs, oh my: Studies show that more and more American workers are opting into the growing freelance and gig economy, either in addition to, or instead of, holding traditional 9-to-5 office jobs, with over 57.3 million freelancers in the U.S. workforce last year (which includes almost half of working millennials). And of this bunch, New Yorkers reign supreme: There are nearly half a million freelancers currently working in NYC, the largest concentration of any U.S. city. (Walk into any coffee shop in the city, and you'd be hard-pressed not to find one typing away on their laptop, maybe wearing a beanie.)

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Sun damage doesn't discriminate by skin tone. Every one who spends time in the sun without sunscreen is susceptible to sunburn, irritation, and even skin cancer — regardless of how much melanin you have. Unfortunately, all sun-protecting formulas aren't made with brown skin in mind.

Many Black girls will tell you — there are a lot of mediocre sunscreens out there. Some formulas leave behind a noticeable gray tint or, even worse, cover your face with a greasy film. Both results can make you want to forfeit the step all together. However, a few bad apples in the bunch shouldn't deter you from getting the daily sun protection a dermatologist recommends.

There are products on the market that blend into brown skin flawlessly, and we've found them by trial and error. Ahead, we asked several Black women to share their hands-down favorite, holy-grail sunscreens. These picks won't leave you looking ashy or cause a breakout to erupt. Now, you have no more excuses.

At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.

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