While Hogwarts certainly had its wild adventures, I preferred tales a little darker than the ones J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series could offer.
Enter: A Series of Unfortunate Events. Lemony Snicket's (real name: Daniel Handler) novels celebrated the macabre in a way few other kids' stories would dream of. The books, about three orphans shuffled from guardian to guardian while attempting to learn the truth about their parents' demise, were as delightfully dreary as the title of the series would suggest.
The books weren't just bleaker than bleak — they were wonderfully, delightfully weird.
Though A Series of Unfortunate Events was adapted to film, it didn't receive a major franchise a la Harry Potter — and I always hoped a better version than the singular, average-at-best 2004 Jim Carrey film would come along to save the day.
Now that Netflix is attempting to right that wrong, it's worth going back and exploring some of these more bizarre plot lines. Will Netflix make good use of the books' strangest plot points? Here's hoping that the series remains true to the special weirdness that Snicket infused in his work.
Click through to read about the strangest plot points from each of the 13 books in A Series of Unfortunate Events.
More In Entertainment:
13 Documentaries That Are Essential Viewing For Women
These Books Make Us Literally Laugh Out Loud
The Best New YA Books Since The Hunger Games
The Bad Beginning, Book 1
Count Olaf stages a play in which his "character" marries Violet's. However, it's not really a play, but a ploy to snatch away the Baudelaire fortune by marrying the 14-year-old for real. Ick.
Photo: Scholastic Inc.
The Reptile Room, Book 2
The Baudelaire children finally meet a nice guardian, a herpetologist named Monty. However, when Count Olaf learns of their whereabouts, he kills Monty with poison and blames the death on one of the reptile lover's most precious vipers.
Photo: Scholastic Inc.
The Wide Window, Book 3
Welp, this should give you nightmares. The Baudelaire's fearful guardian Aunt Josephine is eaten by the leeches who live in the ocean beneath her home. The reason? The leeches can smell anyone who ate less than an hour before taking a dip.
Photo: Scholastic Inc.
The Miserable Mill, Book 4
A fight between baby Sunny and one of Count Olaf's henchman, Orwell, ends with Orwell accidentally killing himself on a buzzsaw. More or less disturbing than death-by-leeches?
Photo: Scholastic Inc.
The Austere Academy, Book 5
The orphans are taken to a boarding school, where they are placed in a fungus-filled house called "The Orphan's Shack" because they do not have a guardian to sign for dormitory housing,
Photo: Scholastic Inc.
The Ersatz Elevator, Book 6
After Count Olaf kidnaps the Quagmire orphans, the Baudelaires find their friends locked in a cage at the bottom of an empty elevator shaft. It's basically the plot of a Lifetime movie.
Photo: Scholastic Inc.
The Vile Village, Book 7
Count Olaf, disguised as a detective, arranges for three of the Baudelaire children to be burned at the stake for the "murder" of Count Olaf (which, obviously, didn't really happen.) Olaf then tells the Baudelaire orphans that they must decide who lives, as he needs at least one orphan alive as to inherit his fortune.
Photo: Scholastic Inc.
The Hostile Hospital, Book 8
Violet is captured by Olaf and his diabolical crew, who decide that they are going to perform a craniectomy on the orphan. Fortunately, Klaus and Sunny stall the procedure long enough to escape.
Photo: Scholastic Inc.
The Carnivorous Carnival, Book 9
Count Olaf, disguised as a circus performer, declares that one of the performers in the freak show will be thrown into a pit of hungry lions as part of a new act. However, in a freak accident, one of Olaf's henchmen gets tossed in the pit instead, and is devoured by the lions.
Photo: Scholastic Inc.
The Slippery Slope, Book 10
The Baudelaire children are able to trick Count Olaf by telling him that they know where a certain "sugar bowl" is, which is mysteriously important to their frequent torturer.
Photo: Scholastic Inc.
The Grim Grotto, Book 11
In this marine-centric book, Sunny is poisoned by a mushroom. The Baudelaires look for a cure, only to learn that the antidote is horseradish. When they can't find that, Sunny tells them to seek out wasabi. (All that sushi you're eating? Yep, more likely than not, it has actually been paired with horseradish, not wasabi.)
Photo: Scholastic Inc.
The Penultimate Peril, Book 12
In this novel, the Baudelaire orphans are placed on trial. However, it's not your typical law-and-order situation: Here, the court takes the phrase "justice is blind" literally, and therefore blindfolds on all of the jurors.
Photo: Scholastic Inc.
The End, Book 13
Count Olaf finally meets his demise when he is harpooned in the stomach. However, in doing so, the harpoon hits a container of poison, which infects the entire population of the island. Because of the island's strict rules, the leader, Ishmael, won't allow his people to eat the antidote — apples.
Photo: Scholastic Inc.
Like this post? There's more. Get tons of celebrity news, fun takes on pop culture, and trending stories on the Refinery29 Entertainment Facebook page. Like us on Facebook — we'll see you there!
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Inspiring Books That Are NOT Chicken Soup For The Soul
The Best New YA Books Since The Hunger Games
Lotus Plumbs The History Of Chinese "Flower Girls" & Modern-Day Sex Work