At the start of each new year since college graduation, I've seen a few friends partake in Dry January — meaning: For the 31 days of January, they abstained from drinking for any reason, including birthday parties, promotions, weddings, and first dates. But for some reason, their temporary sobriety was always something they kept hidden. And every time the subject came up, things would inevitably get awkward.
One year, I met a friend for our annual new year catch up over wine and cheese. As soon as I ordered my glass of wine, she yelped, "I can't have any wine — I'm not drinking." After laughing and asking her why she agreed to meet at a wine bar — instead of, say, a restaurant or a coffee shop — we both changed our orders to sodas and cheese, and continued the night as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
Another time, a friend called me from the bathroom during a date in January to ask, "How do I survive a first date without drinking? I haven't told him I'm doing Dry January." I attempted to walk her through how to tell him about the challenge and gave her a few conversation starters to pivot off the topic. (They are married now, and I do take full credit.)
After hearing and reading about so many people's Dry January experiences, including on Refinery29, I decided I would give it a try in 2017. To be honest, there wasn't one big motivating factor for me. Sure, the supposed benefits of better skin, better sleep, and increased energy would all be nice perks, but that's not my aim. I honestly just like challenges.
When I first decided to take on Dry January last month, I thought it would be easy. It wasn't until the end of December that I started thinking about all of the events I had already planned in which I'd normally be drinking, and I got nervous. I may have been a source of wisdom and clarity when I wasn't the one partaking in the challenge myself, but how would I fare as the staunchly sober friend?
So I reached out to my friends who have done Dry January in the past and asked them about it. Half said they cheated at some point, and most admitted that the reason they were so secretive was because they didn't want to be shamed if they failed. I don't like cheating or failing at things, so here's how I'm going to keep myself accountable: Not only am I doing Dry January, but I will be updating this story every day with my progress.
I will let you guys know if I feel like my skin is actually getting better, if I feel more refreshed and energized, and if it's really that awkward to be the only sober person in the room. But, that also means that, if I cheat, I will be letting everyone on the internet know in real time.
Wish me luck.
Day One
Level of difficulty (0-5): 2
I made the decision ahead of time to only start counting January 1st once I woke up. So I didn't put my champagne glass down right as the clock struck midnight like a Cinderella whose fairy godmother worked at a bar. Instead, I continued drinking with friends until I decided it was time to go to sleep.
Honestly, after drinking so much on New Year's Eve, I was hungover enough that wanting to drink didn't cross my mind. The only reason that this day got a "2" instead of a "0" for difficulty is because a group of friends went to karaoke that night, and I backed out because I wouldn't be drinking. I don't think you need alcohol to do anything, but I hate karaoke and I'm not the most confident singing in front of people, so a drink definitely helps. Plus, being the only sober person around drunk people singing (er, shouting) just didn't sound that fun.
Improvements in physical or mental health?
Well, considering I drank the night before, that would be a big fat nope. If anything, it's a miracle that my skin looked just fine, and that I had a productive first day of 2017 at all.
Day Two
Level of difficulty (0-5): 0
I would estimate that I haven't gone a month without a drink of some kind since I was 19 or 20 years old, but I have gone two weeks without drinking plenty of times. So, I don't expect Dry January to be challenging for at least another week or so. Plus, it was a Monday and the last day before returning to work, so I wasn't really tempted.
However, as I was cleaning my apartment, I realized how much liquor and wine my roommate and I had accumulated as gifts over the holidays. I stored it all above our kitchen cabinets for now, to keep it out of sight (and hopefully out of mind).
The most awkward part of the day was telling the man I am going on a first date with on Friday that cocktails really didn't need to be part of location scouting, since I am doing Dry January. So stay tuned for how that goes.
Improvements in physical or mental health?
Yeah, Dry January might do magical things for your mind and body, but I am 100% certain it will take at least a week for me to notice a difference.
Day Three
Level of difficulty (0-5): 0
Today was the first day back to "real" life in 2017, since I had my first full day back at the office with all of my co-workers. It felt really.... long. As soon as I got home, I was ready to get to bed. I didn't even have a desire to pour a glass of wine, because sleep was more appealing.
Improvements in physical or mental health?
I still think it's too early to see any true benefits. I did sleep really well last night. But then again, I was exhausted. That probably had more to do with the long day than the lack of alcohol in my system.
Day Four
Level of difficulty (0-5): 3
I was at work a bit late, and when I was leaving, I got a text from a childhood friend who needed to vent about a man. We met up at a bar, and I ordered a soda without hesitation. Easy enough. But soon, I wished it was mixed in with something stronger, because you have to be in a really special place to talk to a crying friend for hours about a jerk.
I was glad to be there for her, though, and I was extra glad the next morning because not drinking meant I actually got a good night of sleep before work.
Improvements in physical or mental health?
I have slept amazingly the last two nights, but I still haven't woken up as energized as I had hoped. And I'm still having a 3pm slump. But here's hoping a few more no-alcohol days will lead to results!
Day Five:
Level of difficulty (0-5): 1
I thought today was going to be a lot harder than it ended up being. I met up with friends from college. It was originally supposed to be for drinks at our favorite margarita place. It's the kind of place where the drinks are so strong, you always leave with a story. Needless to say, I was not looking forward to spending an evening there sober.
But one of my friends is also participating in Dry January (her whole team at work is doing it), so we ended up going to a low-key restaurant instead. No one drank. So other than talking about how much we craved the margaritas, it was painless.
Improvements in physical or mental health?
I still don't feel confident that any improvements have happened, or that they are correlated to not drinking. I mean, it's only been five days.
Day Six:
Level of difficulty (0-5): 6
So, as promised I had a first date tonight. I don't think I've been on a completely sober date since high school. Now, I don't normally get trashed, but I do have a drink or two to help lubricate the nerve-wracking situation.
Tonight I had nada. To his credit, he also chose to refrain from drinking with me. The conversation was fine, but there were a couple awkward moments where I wished for an adult beverage. And after the first hour, I was ready to go, but I realized he was going to make sure this dinner lasted as long as possible — and then I really, really wanted that drink. I'm hoping this will be the hardest day of Dry January, to be honest.
Improvements in physical or mental health?
I was worried about what looked like a breakout coming on, but I didn't have time to do anything about it. However, it cleared up in only a couple of hours all by itself. Is it good karma or is this whole not-drinking-any-alcohol thing (and instead having a lot of water) working?
Day Seven:
Level of difficulty (0-5): 2
My aunt and uncle are in town, so they took me out to a nice dinner. They order wine, but they didn't pressure me (and for the record, no one has pressured me to drink so far), so it wasn't a big deal. It was definitely easier than last night — but free alcohol is still free alcohol.
Improvements in physical or mental health?
I definitely had amazing sleep last night. Sleep is normally something I'm great at, but I've reached a whole new level of deep sleeping over the past week. I'm starting to think that maybe not drinking is to thank.
Day Eight:
Level of difficulty (0-5): 0
It was a busy day, and there was no time to think about the fact that I wasn't drinking. I went to a movie, a Broadway show with my aunt and uncle, and then straight to work to cover the Golden Globes. I was out of the house from 9:30am to midnight, so I basically forgot about Dry January.
Improvements in physical or mental health?
For the first time since it started getting cold, I didn't have to apply chapstick at all while I was outside today. I'm pretty sure it has to do with the fact that I'm replacing alcohol with water. At every event where I would have had alcohol this weekend, I've ended up sipping way more water than normal.
Day Nine:
Level of difficulty (0-5): 0
I'm going to be real here: I don't normally drink on Mondays, so it wasn't very tempting today. I went to work, then met a friend to go see Sing (yes, we are 26 and watch every animated movie that comes out), made dinner, cleaned, and went to sleep. It just wasn't a day in which I thought about drinking.
Improvements in physical or mental health?
I was up late the night before (since I left work at midnight) and was able to jump out of bed an hour earlier than normal without issue. So, I am feeling more energy, which is a very welcome change.
Day Ten:
Level of difficulty (0-5): 3
There were a lot of things that made me want to drink today:
1. A company happy hour
2. The reports of opposition research on president-elect Donald Trump
3. Staying at work until midnight to finish up a project
4. President Obama's farewell address
I didn't drink. But as the evening went on, the list of reasons why I wanted to drink just kept getting longer and longer.
Improvements in physical or mental health?
I haven't slept for more than five hours any night in the last three days, yet somehow I haven't had a mid-afternoon crash either of the last two days. This is definitely something I could get used to.
However, I am starting to breakout (probably because of the lack of sleep), so I have yet to see the blemish-free skin some people get from Dry January.
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