Chris Pratt's Got (Hilarious) Feelings About His Vanity Fair Photo Shoot

The best thing to come out of Passengers? Not Chris Pratt's Vanity Fair photo shoot, but his hilariously self-deprecating comments about said photo shoot.

Just as he did with his September InStyle shoot, the actor is having a field day with his latest modeling stint. To be fair, Vanity Fair did seem to go out of its way to portray him as this chest-pounding outdoorsman who probably makes his own jerky.

"Here's me warming up after having to be in that freakin' cold-ass water forever," he quipped of this man-discover-fire-it-hot moment. The "cold-ass water" he's referring to is whatever river or lake he had to stew in for the cover.

Here's me warming up after having to be in that freakin' cold ass water forever.

A photo posted by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Jan 3, 2017 at 1:57pm PST

There's more.

"Here's me waiting for the photo shoot to start," he captioned this moody race track pic. "I was like, 'well guys, I'll just chill over here by my race car and rub my neck real quick. You know what I'm saying'.'"

Here's me waiting for the photo shoot to start. I was like, "well guys, I'll just chill over here by my race car and rub my neck real quick. You know what I'm sayin'."

A photo posted by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Jan 3, 2017 at 1:58pm PST

And then there are these musings on beer, the ancient art of knuckle-sniffing, and being wedged between two rocks.

I remember drinking this beer at the photo shoot and it tasted so good. Which reminds me of the time my friend from work went out with me for beer at this place on sunset about 17 years ago and brought a pitcher to the table and I said, "What beer is that? No wait don't tell me. Let me guess." And I sipped it. "Newcastle!" He was like, "Yah that's right...That's probably not a good sign Chris"

A photo posted by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Jan 3, 2017 at 2:02pm PST

And here I am casually sniffing my knuckles.

A photo posted by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Jan 3, 2017 at 2:02pm PST

One more still from the @vanityfair photo shoot. I have to credit the brilliant photographer @markseliger who discovered me wedged between these two rocks. It took him all day to pull me out. I had been stuck there for hours. I had barely enough strength to stare pensively into the distance. I mean, it was bad. Anyways. I almost had to chew off the lower half of my body to get out. But I'm not flexible enough. Bottom line. I could have died. But thanks to the brilliant photographer @markseliger I'm alive to tell the story, which is currently being optioned for a movie.

A photo posted by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Jan 5, 2017 at 2:57pm PST

If only every celeb did this, right? We'd love to know what Kendall Jenner was really thinking about that giant tattoo.

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