This is why at the office lottery for freshman lawmakers, a high-stakes event that took place at the end of the congressional orientation last month, Pressley tried to channel Chisholm's good vibes as she drew her number. But the Democrat from Massachusetts' 7th congressional district wasn't so lucky, drawing the slot no. 38 out of 85, which left her with poor chances of getting to pick her dream office.
Enter Katie Hill, an incoming representative from California who was also one of the many women who pulled major upsets against Republican incumbents in the midterm election. Hill, from CA-25, offered to swap offices with Pressley because she knew how much Chisholm's legacy meant to her.
The former Boston city councilwoman tweeted Monday: "Wow! TY Mommy for the extra bday luck! We just learned my Congressional Office designation will be # ShirleyChisholm's former office. How's that for divine intervention, AND the selflessness of my colleague @KatieHill4CA who drew a better lottery# but still wanted me to have it."
In a retweet, Hill responded: "No doubt you’re going to do amazing things from that office — I am so excited to serve with you!"
No doubt you’re going to do amazing things from that office — I am so excited to serve with you! https://t.co/Gpv2M5CfCl
Hill's gesture was a reminder of the sisterhood the incoming Democratic congresswomen have been building in the past weeks. Many of the women — like Congresswomen-elect Ilhan Omar, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Sharice Davids, and Abby Finkenauer — have been each other's biggest cheerleaders during the transition process.
Once they get sworn-in, you better believe they'll continue to work to make each other stronger.
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Last night, I sat on my couch messaging a 24-year-old guy — let's call him Eli — whom I do not know. Tinder told me he was three miles away and also undecided about pizza toppings — "Pineapple or no pineapple?” he asked in his bio. Pineapple, indeed.
I said "Hey," and the die was cast.
I'm no stranger to Tinder (just ask one of the many Emotionally Unavailable Guys Of Brooklyn With Whom I Have Gone On Anywhere Between One And Ten Dates), but I was newly inspired to get back in the game following a recent viewing of You've Got Mail. Like, maybe there's an affable young Tom Hanks lookalike bookstore tycoon waiting for me with a golden retriever in Riverside Park, and maybe I have to find him on the internet, fast. If Meg Ryan could do it, who's to say I can’t? So I hatched an experiment. Let me explain.
My friend Maya and I watched the movie for the first time (yes, ever) last weekend — and, throughout most of it, we laughed. Hard. Even the opening scene is funny: Doe-eyed ingenue Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan), who has all the street smarts of a baby bird, flits about her apartment and waits for her doofus boyfriend, Frank, to leave for work so she can power on her computer and sign into her AOL account as "Shopgirl," her breath catching on, as she puts it, "those three little words": You've got mail.
The sender is Joe Fox, a.k.a. NY152. After meeting in a chatroom for 30-somethings, the two carry on an email relationship, exchanging daily correspondences, including this absolute goldmine of a soliloquy from Kelly: "Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life — well, valuable, but small — and sometimes I wonder, Do I do it because I like itor because I haven't been brave? I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void."
Of course, the film came out in 1998, when the internet was still novel, there was no "u up?" culture to speak of, and it was okay — thrilling, even — to talk to nameless strangers on the internet. It was still exciting to get an email. No catfishers in basements yet. No, those wouldn't really enter the zeitgeist for at least 10 years. (For the record, it is and always has been dumb to make your screen name your state plus your street address, like NY152, for example.)
Despite the cheese factor ("goodnight, dear void"), there was something undeniably refreshing and nostalgic — oh, that there was ever a time when people were pure and trusting on the internet! — about the messages Shopgirl and NY152 sent back and forth to one another. A far cry from the many "good, hbu" messages we've come to expect as the norm. So Maya and I wondered: What would happen if we took a page out of You've Got Mail? How would our matches react? We'd disarm them, yes, but would we charm them?
And thus, a challenge was born: For the next week, Maya and I would communicate on dating apps exclusively with lines from You’ve Got Mail — lifted straight from the emails sent between Shopgirl and NY152. With the occasional “haha” and “hey” peppered in to retain a modicum of Tinder normalcy, of course.
So back to Eli. After we exchanged greetings, I hit him with: "The odd thing about this form of communication is you're more likely to talk about nothing than something."
At this, he told me I was “deep, homie.” Thank you, Eli. Then I tried The Void monologue. He replied by asking if I wanted to drink wine and make out. Not the point, Eli! After my third message, though, his tone changed:
“Do me a favor,” he said, “Stop quoting movies.”
The jig was up, and Eli was mad. I told him I was using You’ve Got Mail quotes on Tinder for story research, and he didn’t respond for five minutes.
Then, in what can only be described as the most savage millennial-to-millennial dating app affront ever committed, he said: “Sorry, you made me go on Coffee Meets Bagel.”
As in, he was so put off by my messages that he had to leave the app and go on a different one. But could I really blame him? To his credit, he responded to me, which is more than can be said for most of the guys I sent these lines to.
Then, in what can only be described as the most savage millennial-to-millennial dating app affront ever committed, he said: 'Sorry, you made me go on Coffee Meets Bagel.'
Maya's matches were kinder. When she tried the "I lead a small life" line on Jason*, he told her to just be happy.
"Maybe you just wondering too much [sic]," Jason said, followed by a winky face. "Be positive. Do you like how your life is right now?"
Jason didn't want her to stress, and at least that was nice.
Unsurprisingly, the line that yielded the most varied responses was also the most soul-baring: "What happens to me when I'm provoked is that I get tongue-tied, and my mind goes blank. Then I spend all night tossing and turning trying to figure out what I should have said, for example, to a bottom-dweller who recently belittled my existence?"
There was the apathetic: "Hard to say, I don't really know the situation." Fair.
And the affirming: "I think that's a natural human response, honestly. What did you want to say to this bottom-dweller?"
Both made me feel better about the world. The former, because he wasn’t afraid to admit what he didn’t know, and the latter, because he acknowledged the common humanity in all of us. It should be said that the former unmatched Maya moments later after she asked, “Do you ever think you’re the worst version of yourself?” But that’s besides the point.
So I guess the moral of this story is what we suspected all along: Online dating has evolved since 1998. Of course it has. And earnest existential questions on Tinder mostly beget negative or angry responses. Or concerned responses. Or no response at all.
But do we mourn this loss of innocence? I say no. The internet is scary; stranger danger is real; and I don’t think young Tom Hanks lookalikes with golden retrievers hang out on Tinder waiting to be sent long and winding paragraphs about self-identity, anyway. Keep the Tinder convo light and easy and save the void talk for the bar, is what I say. Also, if he tells you he looks like a young Tom Hanks, he’s probably lying.
And lastly: To all the boys I’ve trolled before, I’m sorry.
*Names have been changed.
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If there’s one thing Kylie Jenner has conquered, it’s the art of a good selfie — which is why it was only right when Instagram gave her a custom face filter. But selfies aren't the only thing she's good at: The mogul also knows a thing or two about lipstick. We’ve been following the youngest sibling of the Kardashian-Jenner clan's impressive ascent in the beauty sphere since the launch of her cosmetics company, which now sells a huge range of beauty buys and, oh, has also made her a Forbes- cover millionaire (almost billionaire).
Our only qualm about Kylie Cosmetics, especially when it comes to the lip products, is its relative inaccessibility — these lip releases are nearly impossible to snag when they're released (although we’ve mapped out some alternatives, here) and if you're running to Ulta to pick up a kit in person, the favorites are usually emptied out by the time you get there. Ultimately, you're left unable to test out the colors before committing.
But don’t fret — we’ve got your back. We enlisted the help of celebrity makeup artists Elisa Flowers and Molly Stern to break down the best shades of the lip products for a variety of skin tones. Click through to discover which hue best suits you. Then, when your color is back in stock, you'll be ready to pounce like a momager on a press opportunity. Find the Kylie Cosmetics lip product that's perfect for you, ahead.
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Polyamory, open marriage, ethical non-monogamy — based on some of the comments I got on my recent Money Diary, the words apparently conjure up soap opera-style scenes of drama and jealousy, plus lots of juicy speculation about what’s going on in the bedroom.
Actually? It’s all about the scheduling.
When my husband and I opened our now 10-plus year relationship a few years ago, we had lots of conversations about boundaries and expectations. We expected to have emotional growing pains as feelings came up that we hadn’t anticipated. But neither of us was prepared for how complicated our lives would become from a scheduling perspective.
I have a standing date with my boyfriend, A., for Saturday evenings. Toward the end of each month, we sit down with our calendars (Google for A., an old school planner for me), and we schedule our dates for the upcoming month. If one of us can’t make Saturday work, due to things like travel, commitments to our other partners, or family events, we’ll reschedule that week’s date, usually for Friday or Sunday evening.
My husband and his friend with benefits (FWB) aren’t obsessive planners like me and A., so they schedule their dates a few days ahead of time. They tend to spend time together on Saturday evenings since that’s usually when I’m with my boyfriend, but based on schedules they sometimes meet up after work or during the day on Saturday or Sunday.
My husband and his friend with benefits (FWB) aren’t obsessive planners like me and A., so they schedule their dates a few days ahead of time.
Once the dates are on the calendar, then we need to figure out where everyone is hanging out so that all parties involved get the privacy they need. Both my boyfriend and my husband’s FWB live with their respective partners, so this can be tricky. When my husband and I are coordinating who gets the house, we have to consider my schedule, my husband’s schedule, my boyfriend’s schedule, my boyfriend’s partner’s schedule, my husband’s FWB’s schedule — it can be a logistical nightmare. If he doesn’t have other plans, my husband will sometimes hang out at a coffee shop for a few hours so that I can get the house; my go-to is heading over to my very understanding sister’s place.
No matter how carefully plans are made, they can be derailed in very polyamory-specific ways. Last month, I was planning to spend the night at my boyfriend’s house while his partner was out of town with one of her other partners. The getaway got canceled due to a last-minute illness, leaving me and A. without a place to stay and thwarting my husband’s plans to host his FWB at our place. I’m typically a frugal person, but in this particular instance I was frustrated enough to throw money at the problem, and I booked a hotel room so A. and I had somewhere to go. (Granted, I used hotel loyalty points from business travel, so I only had to pay $37.50.) In our two-year relationship, this was the first time A. and I had to pay for a hotel room.
My husband and I have joint finances, so the idea of using our money to pay for a hotel room with my boyfriend may raise some eyebrows — especially considering that I took a drastic pay cut when I quit my day job in the legal industry and made my side gig as a freelance writer into a full-time career. Currently, my husband earns about $86,000, and my income, since I started freelancing full-time in February, will be about $15,000. However, our money has always been ours — when we were monogamous and I was working a traditional job, and now that we’re polyamorous and I’m freelancing. We combined our finances when we moved in together after college (we were engaged at the time), and we’ve never looked back.
It helps that my husband and I are extremely compatible financially, skewing towards the “very frugal” end of the spectrum. We view our financial goals as something that we work towards as a couple, regardless of our individual incomes: paying off our mortgage quickly, saving for retirement, spending money on travel instead of stuff. I’ve always made significantly less money than him, although in the past there hasn’t been such a dramatic discrepancy — previously, I earned about $50,000. Long-term, I’m trying to transition to more copywriting work to increase my freelancing income, as well as taking on editing work. My husband has been very supportive of my career change — he’d rather have me do something that I’m passionate about (even if I make much less money) than stay in a job that made me miserable.
It helps that my husband and I are extremely compatible financially, skewing towards the “very frugal” end of the spectrum.
The amount of money we spend on our other relationships has never been an issue, probably because neither of us spends all that much. My husband and his FWB go out for dinner a couple of times a month and alternate who pays. My boyfriend is on a tight budget (never-ending home renovations and supporting a partner in grad school), so we tend to do a lot of budget-friendly activities: going for walks around the lakes, watching movies in the park, baking cookies, wandering around the Minneapolis Institute of Art.
If one of us was uncomfortable with how much money the other was spending on another relationship, we would certainly bring it up. But it wouldn’t be more emotionally charged than a conversation about any other sort of purchase. We’ve always been very open with each other about our spending and run big-ticket purchases by the other one in advance, and polyamory hasn’t changed that.
The day-to-day realities of a polyamorous relationship are much like the day-to-day realities of a monogamous one: trying to balance commitments and priorities, making plans for the future and for Friday night, supporting each other through the ups and downs. Having been on both sides of the fence, I know that in my case a polyamorous relationship involves more frequent and franker communication about my needs as well as a concentrated effort to not take either of my relationships for granted when life gets stressful.
Sure, polyamory is more work than monogamy. Trying to make a decent income as a freelance writer is more work than sticking with my stable job in the legal field. But for me, the fulfillment I get from polyamory and freelancing are worth the extra effort — and I have two men who love me that are cheering me on.
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For Khloé Kardashian, the internet is home to millions of fans who obsess over her every move. Photos of her platinum hair color and video clips of her workout routine amass thousands of likes and comments from devoted supporters. But social media is also home to a ridiculous amount of rabid trolls who criticize and scrutinize Kardashian's life decisions — yet she manages to take it all in stride. "No matter the criticism I've received in my life, I've never believed any of it because my family made me feel otherwise," she tells Refinery29.
It's no secret that Kardashian comes from a tight-knit family, and she credits her mother and sisters for her positive outlook on life. That nurturing environment is what Kardashian hopes to foster for her infant daughter, True Thompson. "I do affirmations with True every single day," Kardashian tells us. "She's only a few months old, but we stand in the mirror, and I say something to her reflection, and I pretend she’s saying it back to herself." The ritual, Kardashian says, is to empower her daughter and help her feel confident, despite a life in the constant spotlight.
"Social media is a gift and a curse, but I really want to make my daughter feel beautiful and teach her that makeup is fun but, at the end of the day, none of us need it," Kardashian says. "Let it just be something you enjoy." So, even though Khloé is launching her beauty empire with a Becca Cosmetics collection alongside her best friend Malika Haqq, teaching her young daughter that beauty goes beyond the surface is her top priority.
The Becca BFF Collection, which features seven new products designed by Khloé and Malika, will be available on December 22 at beccacosmetics.com.
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But don't take that as an excuse to get complacent — not now, with the next wave just over the horizon. Instead, take your enthusiasm beyond Sephora's shelves, and go deep into the industry's biggest breakthroughs in skin care and cosmetic surgery — according to the experts who are perfecting them. Ahead, five things to expect in the near future... because Markle's days of being able to publicly recommend beauty brands are more than likely over.
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Love Actually turned 15 this year, so while I appreciate this review is a little tardy, I was curious to see if it had aged better than I have.
On occasion, rewatching a 'classic' with fresh eyes can be elucidating (although my advice is to leave the DVDs of Pretty Woman and The Notebook to languish in the bargain bin at WH Smith along with Davina’s Toned in 10). In this case, the second viewing (alone in bed with a bowl of tiramisu and the electric blanket cranked up to 'gates of hell') was most revealing because guess what? Love Actually isn’t about love at all.
I thought about treading with caution here because the movie is a British 'festive favourite', cherished by many as a feelgood Christmas classic to watch in front of the fire. But I decided against it, because Love Actually doesn’t deserve our affection. It’s a spiritless and insincere salmagundi that deserves to be in the compost bin with your leftover Brussels sprouts.
The movie begins with an aphoristic amble from a pre-Hacked Off Hugh Grant. "Love is not dignified or newsworthy but if you look for it, love actually is all around," he narrates as Marti Pellow flings a cushion at the telly and calls his agent. As Hugh sermonises, we watch 'normal people' arrive at Heathrow airport greeted by warm embraces from loved ones, eyes half full of happy tears. And they should cry, because wasn’t freedom of movement in 2003 grand!
But Hugh is wrong, love is not all around in this movie, in fact it’s nowhere to be found. What Love Actually pushes on us instead is a pre #MeToo imagining of high romance, where women are lovely because they are non-threatening, passive and available. Or they are bad and have severe haircuts.
Yet Love Actually can’t (and didn’t) fail because it utilises a tried (tired) and tested Hollywood algorithm for success: all-star ensemble cast and universal themes all chopped into bitesize pieces that look nice but, like those Brie and gooseberry chutney crostini you wolfed at your work do, are very disappointing and will leave you feeling a bit sick after.
Allow me to refresh your memory…
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When black feels too dramatic and pink feels too soft and red seems too much, there is one nail color that never fails to disappoint: gray.
Gray is a color mostly widely associated with gloomy weather, spoiled meat, garbage cans, dust, and Florida retirement complexes. But never forget, it is also a color that can call to mind super-futuristic cities, skyscrapers, and the exteriors of modern art museums. That's why swiping the shade on your nails immediately gives you a modern and unexpected edge. It's minimalism at its best. Just ask Rihanna or Jennifer Lopez, who've been known to wear the shade regularly.
We make this plea to consider gray polish now because in the wintery months, gray nails are all the more versatile. Just think about it: Name a dark color — like maroon or black or dark green — that people love to wear this season that clashes with gray. You just can't. It's the chicest neutral.
Ahead, see our picks for the best not-gross-looking gray nail polishes, and consider your nail salon indecision canceled.
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Cashmere sweaters are a fashion luxury that we shouldn't have to miss out on because of steep price tags. While many brands do lean towards the expensive side, there's a vast selection of more affordable, just-as-beautiful options out there, too — making it easier than ever to find the dream sweater that fits you and your lifestyle.
Whether budgets are tight or not, consider the purchase an investment in your winter well-being — because feeling engulfed in a permanent hug while warding off the icy chill is reason enough to save up for this cozy, timeless-style indulgence. Scroll on to shop 29 sweaters, from vibrant crews to sophisticated turtlenecks, that are worth cash(mere)ing in for.
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In 2014, after a particularly tough breakup, I started taking antidepressants for anxiety and OCD. I'd struggled with my mental health since around 2010, but had never tried medication because I was scared of the side effects. I expected to experience insomnia and headaches, but one thing I never really considered was whether taking the drugs I was prescribed would affect my appearance — mainly, my skin.
According to figures obtained by The Guardian, more than 4 million people in England are long-term users of antidepressants, and more than 7.3 million people were prescribed antidepressants from 2017 to 2018. While it shouldn’t really matter how the pills affect your appearance, it’s important not to dismiss "lesser" side effects that can hit when you start a new medication. Since I began taking sertraline (an SSRI, which stands for selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor), the generic for Zoloft, my skin has become much more temperamental. Acne around my jawline and chin is now the norm, my lips and cheeks go through weird dry spells, and I sweat — a lot. I'm talking night sweats and panic sweats, which affect my face as well as my body. Although I know this sounds pretty minimal, it's hard sometimes. Finding a course of treatment that helps my mental health is absolutely the priority, but side effects that show up so obviously on your skin can really get you down.
According to general practitioner and clinical advisor to Anxiety UK Dr. Mike Capek, while SSRIs are generally considered safer than other forms of antidepressant medication and usually have few side effects, common unwelcome consequences can include nausea, vomiting, dizziness, headaches, agitation, and sleep disturbance — but that's not all. Taking antidepressants can affect different patients in completely different ways, and while most don’t see any reactions at all, it’s possible to experience a range of the aforementioned symptoms, as well as those that change the condition of your skin.
"Many people notice that while taking antidepressants, skin can become drier, particularly their lips," says Dr. Justine Hextall, a dermatologist for La Roche-Posay in the UK. Dr. Hextall explains that antidepressants have what is referred to as "anticholinergic side effects," which essentially means they block the nerves that help to produce saliva. That could well explain the dryness that has at times ravaged my cheeks, and left me with cracked lips that feel borderline untreatable.
Skin benefits enormously when stress levels are lowered.
Most dermatologists will recommend humectants like hyaluronic acid, which retain moisture in the skin; emollients, which sit on the skin's surface to prevent water from escaping; and occlusives, which form a protective layer over skin to trap in moisture. On the flip side, Dr. Hextall explains that increased sweating can be normal, too. "Excessive sweating is a very common side effect of antidepressant use, with some studies stating that approximately 20% of users are affected," she says. Excess sweating can wreak havoc on your face, particularly your forehead, creating an ideal environment for spots to thrive.
While these are the two biggest issues for me, antidepressants can affect the skin in other ways, too. Linda Blahr, national head of training and education for SkinCeuticals in the UK, explains that SSRIs can "increase the risk of broken capillaries and bruising, meaning skin can be more prone to flushing and general redness." Similarly, Nausheen Qureshi, biochemist and founder of skin-care brand Elequra, mentions that hormone-related skin inflammation, such as acne and hyperpigmentation, can also worsen.
It's not all bad news, though. After all, antidepressants are intended to have a positive impact on your mental state, and this means your self-esteem and the way you look after yourself can be impacted for the better. "Stress is a common trigger with acne, and this may well improve with a mood-stabilizing drug," says Dr. Hextall. Psychodermatologist Dr. Alia Ahmed agrees that there is a close link between the mind and skin. "In some cases, the skin can actually improve with antidepressants," she told me.
There are also ways to deal with the side effects, both in terms of lifestyle changes and skin-care switch-ups. "Self-care is vital," says Dr. Hextall. "Skin benefits enormously when stress levels are lowered and when we have a healthy diet and regular exercise." I personally find that forcing myself to stop scrolling through Instagram to read a book or take a walk most benefits my stress levels.
As for skin care, my flareups react best to a simple routine — double cleansing, then applying serum and moisturizer. I also have some go-to products for when things get really bad. A daily boost of antioxidants helps to keep skin healthy and ready to fight off unwanted side effects; I like SkinCeuticals' C E Ferulic, while a super soothing lip-balm and face-mask duo, such as La Roche-Posay's Cicaplast Baume and Clark's Botanicals' Deep Moisture Mask (which I sometimes slather on as a moisturizer if I’m suffering with extreme dryness), are essential.
Most importantly, I’d urge anyone to discuss notable side effects with their doctor or a dermatologist if the medication is really taking a toll on your skin. While I’d never suggest forgoing antidepressants if they’re helping your mental state, it’s crucial to find the right medication for you with psychological benefits and the fewest side effects (and obviously not just those that are skin-related). In short, it’s a toss-up. While I’ve largely managed to find ways to deal with the side effects of my medication — a balanced skin-care routine and stress management — there are always alternatives (including different classes of antidepressants) and ways to make it work for you, your mind, and your skin.
At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission. This story was originally published on Refinery29 UK.
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The perfect winter cocktail is the pinnacle of any successful holiday party. But while we're always up for a spiked hot cocoa or hot toddy, there are only so many times we can make the same old cold-weather drinks before our guests get bored.
That's why, this year, we're shaking things up with unique (and delicious) festive drinks for all our soirees. In celebration of the season — and the new Ocean Spray® Pink Lite Cranberry Juice Drink — we rounded up four inventive winter drink recipes you can easily make at home: from a spiced mulled wine that will warm you up on the coldest of nights to a not-your-grandma's take on eggnog. Click through to check out each recipe, and get ready for your holiday parties to be extra lit this year.
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First of all, if you yourself are not a college student and you are looking at this list for ideas on what to get a younger friend or relative, you can probably stop reading this. Go to the ATM, and withdraw the perfect gift for most college students in the crisp denomination of your choice. Bye!
Okay, anyone else still reading this either doesn't like excellent advice, is too embarrassed to give cash to anyone, or is also a student buying this for a fellow student. What you're looking for is something worthy of a busy scholar's time. Something that fits in a tiny dorm room. Something that will be met with laughter and appreciation. Something that won't be met with the scorn of a person newly enlightened by higher education. Something that will be worthy of transport back to school and won't instead rot unused in the corner of a childhood bedroom. Something that won't be destroyed by careless roommates — or won't be a devastating loss if it is. This is a tall order, friends. But it is not impossible.
You know your giftee best, but we think the following items might just fit the bill.
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Cardi B isn't just making headlines and history; she's pulling her own looks, too. Fresh off of her historic Rolling Loud performance (which Offset rudely interrupted to apologize for cheating with a succinct 'I'm sorry, bruh'), the Grammy-nominated rapper posted a photo of her latest 'fit to Instagram.
On Monday, Belcalis Almanzar, 26, shared a photo of herself wearing a pale pink cardigan, pink knit stripped skirt, pale pink heels, and a hot pink jumbo Chanel classic flap. She captioned the look "I’m Dasani with the drip, baby mommy with the clip," lyrics from her latest single "Money." But her stylist, Kollin Carter, told his 106K followers on Instagram he wasn't responsible for putting together the outfit. "I appreciate the love and tags but I can’t take the credit for this full Chanel look," he wrote on Monday evening. "Sis has an aesthetic, she dressed herself. My baby growing up."
As an official spokeswoman, Cardi has lent her aesthetic to Steve Madden, Reebok and Fashion Nova (but not Diesel). "And you're out here saying I'm trying to stop your bag," Cardi said in response to allegations made by rival Nicki Minaj. "That Diesel deal that you got? Yeah that came to me first. And I had to decline it because I'm already working with fashion brands, which, y'all are going to see because it's more than Fashion Nova." Cardi's Fashion Nova collection sold out in record time, helping the fast-fashion brand to become one of the top trending fashion searches in 2018. The selling power of Cardi B's look is how relatable it continues to be.
In fact, as Carter told WWD last year, it's really important for Cardi to be an example to young girls that you don't have to be dripping in designer to be considered well-dressed. "We always make it a point to support emerging designers whose lines are just as good but may not be as expensive," he explained. "We like to be relatable in that aspect, like, 'OK, we have this $2,000 shoe, but let’s place it with this top that any girl around the way would be able to afford.'"
Cardi, sis, that aesthetic is working.
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Welcome toMoney Diaries, where we're tackling what might be the last taboo facing modern working women: money. We're asking millennials how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we're tracking every last dollar.
Today: an anesthesiologist assistant who makes $160,000 per year ($225,000 when combined with her husband) and spends some of her money this week on a Mcdonald's hot fudge sundae.
Occupation: Anesthesiologist Assistant Industry: Anesthesiology Age: 29 Location: Savannah, GA My Salary: $160,000 My Husband's Salary: $65,000 My Paycheck (2x/month): $4,300 My Husband's Paycheck (2x/month): $2,000
Monthly Expenses Mortgage: $1,780 Student Loan Payment: $0 (My anesthesia school loans are paid off and I didn't have undergrad loans.) Tithe: $1,500 (approximately 10% of gross paychecks) Cell Phones: $100 (for two lines) Internet: $67 Electricity: $180 Pre-K Tuition: $455 for four days/week Retirement: $2,500 (401(k) and IRA contributions split between my account and my husband's account) Discretionary Spending Allowance: $200 ($100 each for me and my husband) Pest Control: $25 (This is important in Georgia!) Daughters' College Fund: $500 Extra Mortgage Payment: $500 Savings: ~$5,000 (This is essentially any amount left over. We like money to gain interest, not just sit in our checking account. We occasionally use our savings for vacations or unexpected expenses.)
Day One
5 a.m. — Waking up early is the worst part of my job. I get up, put on scrubs, grab my bag, and head out. My hospital provides lunch, so I don't have to pack any food. My commute takes about 45 minutes. We live so far from work because of our childcare situation. Grandma watches the girls for free — how can you beat that?! (We bought a house near the grandparents, even though it's far from work.)
9:30 a.m. — On my 15-minute morning break. The time of my break varies daily, as I have to wait for another anesthetist to become available to take over my surgical case while I'm gone. I run down to the cafeteria to grab a big bottle of water and some peanut butter crackers. Then I hurry back to the pumping room to pump for the remainder. My daughter is almost one now, so THANKFULLY I won't be pumping for too much longer (one year is my goal). At the end of my break, I put what little milk I could pump in our refrigerator and head back to the operating room (OR). ($5 expensed)
11:30 a.m. — Lunchtime. As with the morning break, I have to take my lunch break when another anesthetist is available to cover my case. It can vary from 11 a.m. to as late as 3 p.m. depending on the business of the surgical schedule. Once again, I run to the cafeteria and get a sub sandwich and another large water bottle (pumping really dehydrates me!) and go to the pumping room again. I use a pumping bra to hold my pump flanges so my hands are free to eat. We get 30 minutes for lunch, and I head back to the OR after putting my milk in the fridge. ($9 expensed)
3:15 p.m. — I am relieved from work. Once surgeries finish in the afternoon and ORs become empty, we relieve anesthetists in the "order out," which rotates daily. Today was about normal for me, as I work five days a week from approximately 6:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. It was a pretty good day. I had robotic hysterectomies in my OR today, and I always enjoy that room. I have a sweet tooth, so I go through McDonald's for a hot fudge sundae before getting the girls from Grandma's house. I pick them up and we head home. We usually play around our house until my husband gets home around 6:30. $1.07
6:45 p.m. — My husband arrives home from work and plays with the girls while I finish dinner. We have tacos with cheese, salsa, and Frank's Red Hot (my favorite). The baby loves her taco meat and cheese in a bowl in her high chair. We clean up the mess made by the baby and then it's bath time for the girls after dinner. I nurse the baby and my husband puts her to bed. Our older daughter plays for another hour and then goes to sleep around 7:30. My husband and I watch an episode of The Office before going to bed around 9.
Daily Total: $1.07
Day Two
5 a.m. — Up early again and off to work. It's hard for me to eat breakfast this early, so I typically wait until my morning break.
10:15 a.m. — I'm doing pediatric dental cases today, and those always wear me out faster than adult cases! It's my morning break. I get a large bottle of water and a bowl of yogurt with fruit in the cafeteria. Off to pump before heading back to the OR. ($6 expensed)
1:20 p.m. — Late lunch today. I get a steak salad and a bottle of water. Then I pump and eat in the pumping room. I go around giving lunches to the remaining anesthetists before being relieved to go home at 2:30. ($10 expensed)
6:25 p.m. — My husband gets home from work. He forgot to bring his lunch today, so he got a chicken burrito at Chipotle. We have BBQ chicken sandwiches for dinner with green beans. Bath time, nurse the baby, girls to bed. My husband works out in our garage "gym" while I wash dishes. Off to bed around 9:30. $7.62
Daily Total: $7.62
Day Three
8:15 a.m. — Break time at work. I get a plate of biscuits and gravy and a water bottle in the cafeteria. I'm in a neuro room (spine and brain surgeries) today. I eat while pumping and head back to the OR. ($7 expensed)
12:20 p.m. — For lunch, I get a plate of spaghetti. I know it will be difficult to eat while pumping, but I can't resist! Eat, pump, and back to my cerebral tumor resection. ($9 expensed)
4:10 p.m. — Late day at the office. The OR was busy today, and I get relieved later than usual. The good thing about my job is that we get paid an overtime rate if we exceed 40 hours in a week, so getting stuck late isn't always bad. I stop for gas on the way home and use my Kroger fuel points to get $0.60 off of the gallon. I pick up the girls and head home. $32.54
7:05 p.m. — A late day for my husband too. We have Crock-Pot chili for dinner that I started this morning. He tells me he brought his lunch to work but stopped for coffee this morning ($1.65). We share a bank account and do all of our finances together. It makes me happy to see our money in one lump sum that we can direct and spend together; we bond over making financial decisions and plans. I get a lot of enjoyment from finances — it's definitely my favorite part of adulting. I check our bank account once a day, and when I'm bored I like to calculate projections for our expenses and incomes. Yeah, most people think I'm crazy. $1.65
Daily Total: $34.19
Day Four
12:30 p.m. — Today I'm at a surgery center, and we have 24 cataract extractions scheduled. Due to the fast pace and the fact that I am alone here with my anesthesiologist, I don't have time for a morning break and I can't pump. My boobs are about to burst at this point! I warm up the cheese enchilada frozen meal that I brought from home and eat while pumping in an empty patient room. After lunch, we finish by 2:15 and I head home early — thank goodness!
6:35 p.m. — Hubby is home and it's dinner time: spaghetti with my homemade meat sauce! My husband stopped at the gas station on the way home, but since I had already used all of the fuel points, he paid full price. Bath time for the girls, nurse the baby, and it's off to bed. $42.55
Daily Total: $42.55
Day Five
10 a.m. — During my break, I get fruit and bacon from the cafeteria. I eat while pumping and then it's back to the OR. Today is a vascular day for me, and we are doing big surgery that requires a lot of attention and hemodynamic maintenance, so I am already mentally drained. ($7 expensed)
1 p.m. — Lunch and pumping time. I get a salad from the cafeteria and eat in the pumping room. We finished the surgery and are now wrapping up a leg amputation. I had to change scrubs in the doctor's lounge before lunch, as I got sprayed with blood during the last case. It's amazing how immune I am to the graphic nature of my job and how I can just switch to "time to eat!" after watching someone's leg get removed. I return to finish the case and follow up with an AV graft placement before getting relieved at 3:30 p.m. ($10 expensed)
6:45 p.m. — My husband gets home and brings Chik-fil-A. It's a nice break from cooking. I have a salad, my husband eats a nugget meal, and my three-year-old has a kid's meal. I make the baby a scrambled egg before I nurse her for bed. Friday night means movie night once the kids are asleep! We watch The Searchers — my husband's choice, since I got to choose last week. Today was payday, so I take some time to double check our paychecks — something I've made a habit of doing, especially because I get paid overtime and I want to make sure my hours are correct. Then I pay tithe via my phone and designate a home for the rest of the money. All of our bills are paid via direct withdrawal, so we keep track of the dates that they're scheduled to be withdrawn and make sure we have enough money in our checking account to cover everything. I only leave what's needed to our bills in checking and distribute everything else to either savings, extra mortgage payments, or IRA contributions. $21.06
Daily Total: $21.06
Day Six
8 a.m. — Yeah, it's Saturday! We sleep in until the baby wakes us and I bring her into bed to nurse and snuggle. I search my coupon apps to find deals for my grocery trip later. I'm obsessed with coupon apps. I save about $20 per week from coupons. I also make about $80 per year by uploading my receipts for cash back offers on apps like Ibotta and Checkout 51. We get our older daughter up, and we all have breakfast together: protein pancakes, eggs, and bacon.
11:45 a.m. — We all drive into town to pick up our groceries. Kroger has a Click List option where you can order your groceries through their app and pick them up at a designated time. You literally drive up, call them, and they load your groceries in your trunk! I costs all of $4.95 and it is the BEST money I have every spent!!! (Grocery shopping with the girls is a real challenge.) My husband also brings his lunch most days. We eat out occasionally, and mostly on the weekends. $187.76
12 p.m. — We stop by Zaxby's for lunch on the way home. I get the buffalo bleu salad and my husband get a grilled chicken Caesar salad. Our three-year-old gets "chicken and fries" per her request. $18.08
5:20 p.m. — It's college game day in Georgia — that means a Georgia Bulldog game. We order Papa John's pizza at half-time and have it delivered. $16
Daily Total: $221.84
Day Seven
7:30 a.m. — I wake up and nurse the baby while my husband works out. Then we get dressed and get the girls ready for church. We attend the 9 a.m. service at our church and then volunteer in the toddler Sunday School class during the 11 a.m. service.
12:30 p.m. — After church, it's our tradition to have lunch with my parents. We go to a local Mexican restaurant and have chili rellenos, fajitas, and guacamole. Yum! Next, we head back home to watch the Falcons game. We are a definitely a football family. We snack on chips and salsa during the game. I troll my credit card accounts during the game and redeem my cash back. $46 between the two cards — yes! We buy everything on our two credit cards (depending on which card offers the best cash back option at the time), then we pay the credit cards off in their entirety once a month. I make about $40 per month this way! $15.45
6 p.m. — For dinner, the hubby grills burgers out back and we eat them with pepperjack cheese and lots of mustard. Perfection. The girls play until bedtime. Baths, nursing, and bedtime for the girls. Then my husband and I watch another episode of The Office before going to bed around 10.
Daily Total: $15.45
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