Are you the publisher? Claim or contact us about this channel


Embed this content in your HTML

Search

Report adult content:

click to rate:

Account: (login)

More Channels


Showcase


Channel Catalog


Channel Description:

Refinery29

older | 1 | .... | 3212 | 3213 | (Page 3214) | 3215 | 3216 | .... | 3259 | newer

    0 0

    Welcome toMoney Diaries , where we're tackling what might be the last taboo facing modern working women: money. We're asking millennials how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we're tracking every last dollar.

    Your Spending In Your State: Over the past year, we've run diaries from 46 states. We need just 4 more to hit all 50. We're still looking for diaries from Hawaii, Maine, New Mexico, and North Dakota. Submit here!

    Today: an analyst working in the government who makes $78,617 per year and spends some of her money this week on a BluePrint Lemon Reset drink.

    Occupation: Analyst
    Industry: Government
    Age: 30
    Location: Washington, D.C.
    Salary: $78,617.50
    Paycheck Amount (2x/month): $1,748.56

    Monthly Expenses
    Rent: $2,565 (I live in a one-bedroom apartment with my boyfriend, A. He pays more, since the den is his office/man cave.)
    Car Payment: $297
    Student Loans: $0 (College and my first master's were paid for through a combination of scholarships and my parents. I'm paying for my MBA, though, so I will have student loan debt.)
    Parking: $250 for two parking spots (one at home and one at work)
    Utilities: ~$150 (We split this.)
    Internet: $90 (My boyfriend pays.)
    Car & Renters Insurance: $107
    Medical, Vision & Dental Insurance: $319.76 (through my company, for my boyfriend and myself)
    Cell Phone: $99.23 (This includes a monthly payment for my new phone.)
    Hulu/Netflix/HBO: $8.99 (I pay for Hulu, my parents pay for Netflix, and boyfriend pays for HBO.)
    i Tunes Radio: $9.99
    Pet Rent: $50
    ClassPass: $0 (I'm on the free trial. It will be $50 starting next month)
    Savings: ~$250

    Day One

    8 a.m. — Wake up way past my alarm and quickly run through my morning routine: put my contacts in, brush my teeth, exfoliate, put on toner and moisturizer, and then do an almost full face of makeup. While getting ready, I chat with my boyfriend, A., about his to-do list for the day. He works from home most days and sets his own schedule, which mean he's generally in charge of housework and cooking dinner during the week. I'm in charge of meal prep, grocery shopping, and planning the next week's schedule, and we generally split housework on the weekends. This division of labor seems to work out pretty well for us. Somehow, I manage to get out the door by 8:45 and am at work on time at 9 a.m.

    11 a.m. — My calendar is pretty open today, so I spend some time before my first call searching for a last-minute Halloween costume. Both my work and grad program (I'm in a part-time MBA program) are doing costume parties, and I want to join in. Though it's hard finding a work-appropriate costume the day before Halloween, I decide to make a last minute DIY Disney princess costume with some stuff I found online at Target. I reserve everything and pay online. I'll pick it up on my lunch break. $23.85

    12:50 p.m. — My call went way longer than expected, but I'm finally done and have a few hours before my next call, so I run over to Target to pick up the stuff for my costume. When I get there, I'm notified that one item I had reserved is out of stock, so they're refunding me $5. I spend a few minutes looking around Target, and find a replacement item for $10 — costume saved ($5.60)! On my drive back to the office, I swing by Whole Foods to grab lunch and a few random things for the weekend. I'm the maid of honor in a wedding this weekend, so I grab two La Colombe coffees and a BluePrint Lemon Reset, hoping that the caffeine and "healthy" drink will keep me going through the rehearsal/ceremony/reception/etc. I also put together a plate of salad and some things from the hot bar for lunch. Total for everything is $18.12. $23.72

    5 p.m. — I finish up my last call of the day, do a few admin tasks, and then head out for the night. I have a 7:15 FlyBarre class tonight, so I run home, say hi to my boyfriend, walk the dog, change into barre clothes, and head back out. I just joined ClassPass (first month is free) and I'm trying out all the cool (re: expensive) studios in D.C. Since it's after 6:30 p.m., I can park on the street instead of in the garage, which is much cheaper ($4.80). $4.80

    8 p.m. — Wow, that was a good class! I'm usually not a barre person, but I'm really enjoying Flywheel's barre classes. I'll give ClassPass another month or so, but I'm going to seriously consider getting a membership at Flywheel. Once class is over, I grab my stuff and head back to my car to drive home. On the way, I call my parents to chat about my plans for the wedding this weekend, since we'll be staying with them. During the drive, A. texts me that he's hungry and doesn't want the chicken/quinoa/spinach combination that we've been eating all week, so I tell him to meet me outside our building and we'll drive over to Whole Foods. He comes down just as I'm finishing up the call with my parents — perfect timing! At Whole Foods, A. grabs sushi and some groceries for himself, while I grab dinner and a Topo Chico water ($11.61). We pay for our own stuff. $11.61

    10 p.m. — When we get home, we each spend an hour doing our own thing. For A., that means a video game session with his friends, and for me, it's an hour of flipping between HGTV and Food Network. A. joins me on the couch once his game finishes up, and we watch an episode of Flea Market Flip together (to A.'s displeasure, but I love this show!). Once the episode ends, it's time for bed. I wash/tone/moisturize my face and throw on some PJs, and then A. and I each take a melatonin gummy. We're in bed by 11:30 p.m. and fall asleep pretty quickly.

    Daily Total: $63.98

    Day Two

    8 a.m. — Sleep through my alarm again! I go through my morning routine — contacts, brush teeth, exfoliate/tone/moisturize face — while reading through my emails. I then throw on my Halloween costume, grab my school stuff, and head out the door only a few minutes behind schedule. A. leaves with me to take our dog on a quick walk; the super happy face our dog is sporting erases any stress I've had from waking up late (again). Once I've logged into my computer and checked my inbox, I make my standard breakfast of an English muffin with peanut butter and jelly and grab some free tea. I also take a loop around the floor to see everyone's Halloween costumes.

    10:15 a.m. — I get an alert that the balance on my school ID card is running low, so I quickly add $10 to it. I have to use the school garage to park when I go to class, and they only take cash or IDs. Slightly annoying, but adding money takes all of 30 seconds and then I'm good to go for the week. $10

    10:45 a.m. — This morning is moving pretty slowly, so I take a few minutes before my next meeting to scroll through ClassPass. I end up selecting a FlyBarre class on Sunday afternoon. I block the time in my calendar and then set a reminder for Saturday night to cancel the class if I don't think we'll be back from the wedding in time.

    12:11 p.m. — My meeting runs late, but it's okay because my coworker brought in her baby today! I'm starving, so I quickly run through my food options in my head and nothing sounds too appealing. Normally I meal prep, but between Halloween and the wedding, I failed a bit this week. My office is having a party, so I decide to just munch on whatever I can find instead of buying something. Lunch ends up being a combination of peanut butter pretzels, a banana, and some candy I snagged from the front desk. Random, but it fills me up, and I'm proud of myself for resisting the urge to go to Whole Foods.

    3 p.m. — I grab a beer and some snacks and spend some time mingling with my coworkers. Then I migrate back to my desk around 4:30 to wrap up work and head over to school. I'm enrolled in a part-time MBA program, and while I love the material and being in a learning environment, it's a ton of work and takes up a lot of my time. I'm about halfway through, though, and I know it's all going to be worth it in the end when I land my dream job in my dream industry.

    5:45 p.m. — I get to school and pay the $5 parking charge using my ID card. I have some time before class, so I head over to the convenience store and grab a sparkling water ($1.58). By the time I make my way back to the classroom, most people are already there, and someone is handing out candy. Not that I need any more chocolate, but it'll definitely help keep me awake during class! $1.58

    9:20 p.m. — Class is over! I like this class, but it's pretty heavy. Luckily, I get to sit with my school bestie, and that helps pass the time. I pack up my stuff, say goodbye to my bestie, and head over to chat with some of my team members about an upcoming assignment. We're pretty quick and wrap up our impromptu meeting in under 20 minutes — go us! I head back down to the garage and end up sitting in a ton of traffic. I guess all the trick-or-treaters are causing quite the traffic nightmare.

    10:15 p.m. — Finally get home. A. has already eaten, so I quickly make a grilled cheese and tomato soup. I join him on the couch to watch some of the Timbers/Houston game while I eat. I'm not a huge soccer fan, but he loves it and I feel like I owe it to him after all the Halloween Wars he's had to watch with me this past week. I head to bed around 11 p.m. once the Timbers are up 2-0, run through my nighttime routine, pop a melatonin gummy, and pass out by midnight.

    Daily Total: $11.58

    Day Three

    4 a.m. — And I'm up. Just about every night for the past month or so I've found myself waking up around 4 a.m. Besides stress, I'm not sure what's causing it. I've talked about it with my doctor, and we're trying a few different things in hopes of fixing it, but until we figure it out, I'm stuck with a pretty icky sleep schedule. I lie in bed for about 30 minutes before I realize I won't be falling back asleep anytime soon, so I get up, grab some water, and take a few laps around the apartment to clear my head a little before sliding back into bed between the dog and A. I try to meditate for a few minutes and feel myself getting tired...until the cat starts screaming because he wants attention. He eventually calms down, and I (finally) fall back asleep around 5:30 a.m.

    7:40 a.m. — Today is going to be rough. I'm really feeling the lack of sleep/effects of such a wonky sleep schedule, but today is my last day in the office this week, and I have a ton of work/meetings, so I force myself to get up. I throw on some dark jeans and a nice sweater, do my morning routine sans exfoliating, get a quick pep talk from A. (have I mentioned that I love this guy?), say goodbye to the cat and the dog, and somehow get out the door on time.

    9 a.m. — Once I log in and go through emails I received overnight, I make my breakfast (English muffin with peanut butter and jelly) and grab one of the La Colombe coffees I bought for this weekend. I make a mental note to run to Whole Foods on my lunch break to buy a replacement.

    10:45 a.m. — I take a quick work break and scroll through Instagram and Facebook to see everyone's costumes from last night. A few posts in, I see that one of my favorite charities is running a fundraiser, so I donate $20. They work to pull animals from high kill shelters and have them fostered/adopted. I think it's a pretty great mission, and I'm always willing to donate to support their work. $20

    11:45 a.m. — I run over to Whole Foods before the lunch rush. It's a gorgeous day, so the walk over is a great break from work. I grab a La Colombe coffee as well as another BluePrint drink, since they're on sale, and I get 10% off for being a Prime member. I text A. as well to see if he'd like one, but no response. Then I head over to the hot bar to grab lunch — a slice of pizza, another sparkling water (I'm trying to kick a lifelong diet soda addiction!), and a kale/blueberry/spinach salad to balance out the pizza ($16.61). On my walk back to the office, A. texts asking for two BluePrints, so I make a mental note to grab them on my way home from work. I eat my lunch at my desk before my next round of meetings. $16.61

    4:53 p.m. — Meetings over! I'm in the middle of two large projects, so my days consist primarily of going from meeting to meeting. I spend a few minutes confirming a few details with my boss and then pack up. Since I'll be working remotely tomorrow, I make sure to grab everything I might need before heading out.

    6 p.m. — Pick up my boyfriend and head out to run last minute errands. We first go to Brooks Brothers to pick up some new shirts for him for this wedding and another one we have a few weeks from now. Then we head to Georgetown so A. can go to Ralph Lauren, since they're having a sale. I find parking spots pretty close to the stores ($1.69). $1.69

    8 p.m. — After our evening of shopping, we debate going home to cook, but I still have a ton of packing to do, and I'm too hungry to wait. We head back to Whole Foods for dinner and pick up BluePrints for A. as well ($16.61). We're nothing if not predictable! On our drive back, I remember that I have a prescription waiting for me at CVS, so A. checks the store hours and luckily, I have a few minutes before the pharmacy closes. I run over to grab my prescription ($0.87) and then walk to the library to pick up some books that I have on hold. $17.48

    10:30 p.m. — After two hours of packing, I decide to call it a night. I've gotten all of my stuff, A.'s stuff, and the pets' stuff ready to go for tomorrow morning. I go through my evening skincare routine, but this time I add in a moisturizing mask, pop some melatonin, and get to sleep around 11:30 p.m.

    Daily Total: $55.78

    Day Four

    6:25 a.m. — Time to get up! I start my morning skincare routine while A. jumps into the shower. I check the weather, and it's a good thing I do — it's supposed to be 70 degrees and humid! I waste 15 minutes searching my closet for something appropriate to wear to the rehearsal. Once A. is ready, we grab the pets, our stuff, and some coffee, and head out by 7:15. A. offers to drive, since I need to do some work. (He's the best!) On our way out of town, we stop for gas and fill up my tank. A. pumps the gas, but I pay. $38.26

    12 p.m. — Wedding rehearsal goes great! The coordinator knows her stuff and gets us in and out pretty quickly. Once we finish, the bride and groom take us on a quick tour of the reception venue right next door. Everyone piles into their cars to go to lunch, but I need to head home for an afternoon of conference calls and work, so we say goodbye to everyone, confirm plans for the rehearsal dinner, and then head out. On our way back to my parents' house, we swing by Buffalo Wild Wings to pick up some lunch. A. pays.

    1:30 p.m. — Back at my parents' house, and I immediately jump on a conference call. Once it wraps up, I spend some time going through reports and sending out meeting invites for next week. I close my laptop at around 4 p.m. to take a quick nap and then get ready for the rehearsal dinner. A. wants to stop by the mall on our way, so we leave a little early.

    5 p.m. — A. heads straight to Nordstrom, but after a quick look, doesn't see anything he likes. We stop at Sephora since they're having a sale this weekend, but the line is pretty long and there's nothing I really need, so I walk out empty-handed. We have over an hour until the dinner, so we head into Macy's and discover that they have a huge Barbour and Ralph Lauren section — A.'s two favorites! He tries on a few things and walks away with an awesome sweater.

    6:15 p.m. — Somehow we hit zero traffic and get to the restaurant early. We head to the bar and I buy drinks — a Victory Sour Monkey for me and a Chimay for A. ($15.50 plus $2 tip). One of the other bridesmaids and her husband arrive a few minutes later, so we get seated and chat with them while the rest of the party arrives. A. orders another drink when the server comes around, and we decide to split two entrées for dinner — short ribs and chili. (The groom's father pays for everyone.) All in all, it's a great dinner and a great opportunity to get to know everyone a little bit better! Dinners wraps up around 8:30 and we head out. $17.50

    9:30 p.m. — We get back to my parents' and are surprised to find my two young cousins are sleeping over. This is not normal, so my mom quickly explains the backstory, and I guess all I can say is that I'm really lucky to have such amazing parents who are willing to provide help and support to the rest of our family. A. and I say hi to the kids and help them get ready for bed before heading up ourselves. We have to be up pretty early tomorrow morning, and we've already done a ton of driving today.

    Daily Total: $55.76

    Day Five

    6:30 a.m. — And I'm up. One of the kids got up because she was afraid and didn't know where she was, which made our dogs start barking because they thought it was time to go outside. She started crying, the dogs barked louder, and now we're all up. I debate going back to sleep, as I don't need to be up for another hour, but I doubt I'll get much sleep with how much noise is coming from downstairs, so I decide to bite the bullet and get up. I jump into the shower, put in a hair mask, go through my morning routine (exfoliate, toner, oil, moisturizer), and then blow out my hair. I head downstairs around 7:15 a.m. to help my parents with the kids. My mom makes pancakes, we turn on Paw Patrol, and everyone chills on the couch for a little.

    8 a.m. — I go to make sure A. is awake, walk him through today's schedule, and remind him of where his suit is. He grabs breakfast and then drops me off at the bride's parents' house at around 9:45, where I immediately jump in the makeup chair. After makeup is done, I go to curl/pin my hair and then am free for a few hours. The other bridesmaids and I spend the afternoon talking and playing games. At around 2, the photographer arrives, we get dressed, take some photos, and then head out for the venue.

    3 p.m. — Time for more photos! It's freezing outside, but the photographer and venue staff are awesome and get us in and out pretty quickly. We wrap up at around 4:30, and then everyone heads to the bridal suite to hang out. This is a rather calm wedding day with a lot of downtime, which makes for a rather long, but not stressful, day. I quickly run out to say hi to A. when he arrives, and then it's time for us to line up.

    5:30 p.m. — Wedding time!!!

    6:15 p.m. — Beautiful wedding. Bride and groom are super happy, and I'm happy because I get to go to the cocktail hour instead of taking more photos. I'm impressed with this venue — the staff is super knowledgeable, everything is on schedule, and the food is amazing! They have several stations set up for cocktail hour along with an open bar, and I try a little bit of everything. The bride and groom arrive at the end of cocktail hour, and we line up for our entrance to the reception.

    7:30 p.m. — Introductions + first dance + maid of honor speech are done, and it's time to enjoy the party! The rest of the night goes by pretty quickly — dinner, dancing, hanging out with the bridal party, and then dessert. A. and I head out around 10:30 p.m., make a quick stop for gas ($20), and then head back to my parents' house. I change out of my bridesmaid dress and immediately fall asleep. It's been one long, amazing day! $20

    Daily Total: $20

    Day Six

    8:15 a.m. — Wake up. At first I'm frustrated that it's so early, but then I realize it's Daylight Saving Time, so I actually slept for nine hours. Yes! I get up and take some extra time washing my face, since I didn't take my makeup off last night. I always wash my face before bed, but last night I almost fell asleep in my dress. I get changed, pack up, and head downstairs to spend the morning with my parents. A. comes down a few minutes later.

    12 p.m. — We decide it's time to head back to D.C., so we grab all of our bags, pets, and pets' stuff, and head out. We have so much stuff you'd think we were a family of 10 instead of two people and two animals. Thank goodness A. drives, because I fall asleep as soon as we hit the highway.

    5 p.m. — We get back to D.C. and I immediately take a nap. I guess this wedding took a lot more out of me than I realized...I wake up at around 5 p.m. and see that A. has unloaded the car and made dinner (chicken parm). I jump in the shower to wake up and then walk to Safeway to pick up some food for school/work this week — English muffins, pizza sauce, yogurt, a bag of sour cream and onion chips, and peanut butter crackers ($22.90). When I get back to the apartment, I'm not super hungry, so I make a quick grilled cheese and put the rest of the chicken parm in the fridge for A. to eat tomorrow. $22.90

    7 p.m. — A. and I do our own things for a little bit — video games with friends for him, and curling up on the couch for a Flea Market Flip marathon with a library book for me. About halfway through the book, I decide I don't really like it, but I want to finish it anyways. At around 9, A. joins me in the living room to watch some Mad Men. Not my favorite show, but given how much driving he's done this weekend, letting him watch whatever he wants is the least I can do. Around 11 p.m., we head to bed. I throw on some PJs, slap on moisturizer, take two melatonins, and pass out by midnight.

    Daily Total: $22.90

    Day Seven

    7:30 a.m. — Alarm goes off, but I'm definitely not ready to wake up. I end up sleeping for another 30 minutes before I coax myself out of bed. Luckily, I packed up my stuff for school and work last night, so I just have to get myself out the door on time! I go through my normal morning routine, curl my hair/throw on makeup, put on a nice work outfit since I have a ton of meetings today, and then head out the door.

    9:15 a.m. — Get into work and immediately realize that I left all my food for the week on the kitchen counter. Oh well! I call A. to ask him to put it in the fridge and then set a reminder for tomorrow morning so I don't forget it again. Pros of forgetting my food: I get to buy tater tots and coffee at a cafe. Cons: Everything is triple the price and the quality is meh. I also grab a sparkling water to drink throughout the day before heading back to my desk for a morning of meetings. $9.46

    2 p.m. — Two of three meetings are done, so I run out to Whole Foods. I pick up some soup for lunch, a bag of chips to replace the ones that I left at home since A. has probably eaten them by now, a BluePrint because it's still on sale (I normally never buy these because they're so expensive), and some clementines, and then make a plate of salad and some random things from the hot bar to eat for dinner during class. $23.30

    4:30 p.m. — Meetings are done for the day — woot! I grab a clementine from the fridge and head back to my desk. I get an email saying that it's time for healthcare annual enrollment, so I decide to take care of that now before I forget. I quickly go through the updates to the insurance plans and at first am frustrated to see the largish increase in price, but quickly realize how lucky we are to have health insurance through my company. Both A. and I have pre-existing conditions, and I know that what we're paying is significantly lower than what we'd pay elsewhere. I say a quick prayer of gratitude to have health insurance and work at such a great company, enroll in health insurance for next year, and then set a reminder to go vote tomorrow. Living in D.C., it can sometimes feel like your vote is meaningless, but it's important to get out there and let your voice be heard. No one should lose their health insurance over a pre-existing condition!

    6 p.m. — I wrap up work a little later than usual, head over to school by 6 p.m., and pay the $5 parking fee. With all the meetings I've had and the wedding this past weekend, I've fallen a bit behind. Luckily, I like this class, and the case is an easy read.

    9:20 p.m. — After class, I head over to chat with my group about an assignment we have due this week. When I get home, I grab some peanut butter crackers and cuddle on the couch with A. while we watch a few episodes of Mad Men. My class schedule makes it hard for us to spend quality time together, so I'm always grateful for nights like these when I get home early. Around 11, we head to bed. I'm too tired to go through my full nighttime skincare routine, so I just use a makeup removing wipe to take off my makeup and throw on moisturizer before taking some melatonin and passing out at 11:30.

    Daily Total: $32.76

    Money Diaries are meant to reflect individual women's experiences and do not necessarily reflect Refinery29's point of view. Refinery29 in no way encourages illegal activity or harmful behavior.

    The first step to getting your financial life in order is tracking what you spend — to try on your own, check out our guide to managing your money every day. For more money diaries, click here.

    Have you been working for at least 8 years and seen your salary increase or fluctuate? If so, fill out this form for a chance to be featured on our Salary Story series!

    Have a Money Diary you'd like to share? Right now, in addition to our ongoing diaries, we're looking for potential diarists along the following theme:

    Calling all entrepreneurs: We want to hear from you! If you’re a freelancer or self-employed, we’d love to feature your Money Diary. Submit here.

    Have questions about how to submit or our publishing process? Read our Money Diaries FAQ doc here: r29.co/mdfaqs

    Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

    Anxious At Work? When To Talk To Your Boss About Stress

    How To Handle Holiday Shopping When You're Broke AF

    A Week In Idaho Falls, ID, On A $130,000 Income


    0 0

    Neil DeGrasse Tyson, famed astrophysicist and host of the award-winning docuseries Cosmos, is facing increased scrutiny after a string of sexual misconduct allegations against him were made public over the last year.

    Fox and National Geographic, the networks behind Cosmos, are launching an investigation into the allegations against Tyson, reports Deadline. The show’s producers are also looking into the claims.

    Three women have recently come forward with claims that Tyson engaged in inappropriate sexual conduct with them. Just over a year ago, musician Tchiya Amet accused Tyson of rape. Patheos reported Amet’s claims and released a follow-up interview with Amet this month, where she said the incident happened when she and Tyson were both astronomy students at the University of Texas at Austin.

    Earlier this week, Dr. Katelyn N. Allers, associate professor of physics and astronomy at Bucknell University, came forward with a claim that she was “felt up” by Tyson in 2009 after an American Astronomical Society meeting. Patheos reports that Tyson allegedly touched Allers inappropriately while looking at her tattoo of a solar system that spans her arm and back.

    “[He] noticed my tattoo and kind of grabbed me to look at it, and was really obsessed about whether I had Pluto on this tattoo or not...and then he looked for Pluto, and followed the tattoo into my dress,” Allers told Patheos.

    Tyson’s former assistant, Ashley Watson, also accused Tyson of sexual harassment. Watson told Patheos that she was forced to quit her job due to inappropriate sexual advances, including an incident where she says Tyson attempted to pressure her into having sex.

    Both Fox and National Geographic told Deadline they have only just become aware of the claims. The producers of Cosmos addressed the issue in a statement: “The credo at the heart of Cosmos is to follow the evidence wherever it leads,” it read. “The producers of Cosmos can do no less in this situation. We are committed to a thorough investigation of this matter and to act accordingly as soon as it is concluded.”

    The second season of Tyson’s Cosmos — a follow-up to its critically-acclaimed 2014 debut — is slated to premiere March 3, 2019.

    Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

    A Guide To Every Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Character You Need To Know

    December Click List: R29 Entertainment Editors' Picks For The Month

    Millions Of People Want To Know How Dirty Dirty John Is


    0 0

    During the holidays, everyone seems to say that love is the gift that keeps on giving. We disagree. Don't get us wrong, there’s nothing better than a potluck with our besties, watching television specials with the fam, or wading through buzzy crowds in search of the perfect gift for the good ones in our life. However, we also know the feeling of finding something so special it almost pains us to give it away — especially when it rings in under budget.

    Enter: Umma’s The Full Case Of Seoul, a kit packed with all the K-beauty: 10 glow-inducing full-size products from seven cult-favorite brands that you can use in a multi-step regimen or mix and match to suit your needs. Yes, it would be the ultimate gift for any skin-care addict on your list, but our vote? Keep this find for yourself. Because it, friends, is actually the gift that'll keep on giving...you major skin goals all season long.

    Step 1: Cleanser

    9 Wishes Rice Foaming Cleanser

    The opening ceremony for any all-star skin-care routine is a cleanser. This one is an MVP thanks to its purifying power: Its micro-ground rice texture gently buffs away dead skin cells while eradicating stubborn leftover makeup, oil, and blackheads. And since the exfoliating formula is mild enough for everyday use, you can use it in the morning to prep your skin for makeup and before bed to wash off the day.



    Umma The Full Case Of Seoul, $149.99, available at Costco

    Step 2: Toner

    Maycoop Raw Sauce Mini Duo

    It’s official: Yeah, you do need a toner. But this one is extra special — instead of just tightening pores and prepping your skin like typical toners, it also functions as an emulsion and essence, which means additional hydration without the weight. The secret ingredient in this, well, secret sauce? A whopping 93% of maple tree sap. Its structure is super similar to the moisture molecules found in human skin, so it absorbs like crazy for maximum effectiveness.

    Step 3: Essence

    One O Seven (107) Core Flex Essential Liquid

    This anti-aging powerhouse is just one of 107 secret formulas from this K-beauty brand. The legendary formula's 100% naturally fermented vinegar contains seven essential amino acids to even skin tone and fade dark spots. At night — when your skin can best soak in the bacteria-fighting ingredients — simply spritz a few sprays all over your face to prep your skin for your serum (aka, step 4).

    Step 4: Serum

    Urang True Rose Repair Essence

    We’re all about a rosy disposition in the colder months, and this dewy elixir delivers. Organic Bulgarian rose water and rose essential oil calm the skin with their anti-inflammatory properties. Plus, they offer a cooling effect to quell redness and soothe sensitive skin. Apply two or three pumps to your skin, and massage it in for a couple of minutes to enhance absorption and energize your complexion.

    Step 5: Eye Treatment

    Tov Camellia Wrinkle Free Eye Solution

    This kit leaves regular old eye cream out in the cold in favor of this unique eye solution packaged in an even more unique (and ultra-precise) silicone-tip applicator. Shea butter and macadamia-nut oil create a formula with a cool, comfortable slip that allows actives to better penetrate the oh-so-delicate areas around your peepers. Oh, and a high-tech elastomer gel absorbs excess oil and fills in fine lines and wrinkles, so you can apply concealer on top with reckless abandon — and without the creasing.

    Step 6: Moisturizer

    May Coop Raw Moisturizer

    This is the mother of all moisturizers, people. We’re talking major hydration: This specialized formula uses moisture “balls” that are filled with oil for a lightweight finish that never feels too heavy or thick. And to fight the dry air from sucking the life from your complexion, a soothing complex uses an oil/water balance that allows skin tissue to work as a better barrier, absorber, and generator.

    Step 7: Sunscreen

    IWLT Protective Base Sun Cream

    Just because the weather outside is frightful doesn’t mean you don’t need SPF. And with 70% more sunscreen than your average formula, this one gives an extra hit of hydration for a glowy complexion without that weird white cast. Added bonus: Its silky texture and slight tint evens skin tone and preps the skin for foundation, CC cream, you name it.

    Step 8: Primer

    Touch In Sol No Poreblem Primer

    A primer with skin-care benefits is a must in the face of winter dryness — and this one is a cult fave in Korea for a reason. Beyond evening skin tone and concealing pores and wrinkles, its unique sebum-catching powder stymies oil production to banish greasiness. And because we’re also here for flawless makeup, its velvety texture ensures a smooth canvas and makes your look last longer. Buff on a small amount for big results.

    Step 9: Oil

    Urang Vitamin Oil Serum

    TBH, facial oil is a skin savior during the holidays — and this one featuring only eight (!) ingredients works. In addition to hydrating and nourishing, natural oils like rosehip and jojoba provide brightening power. It may be small, but it sure is mighty, so we suggest making it a guest star in your routine a few nights a week rather than giving it an everyday spot.

    Step 10: Mask

    IWLT All-In-One Concentrate Treatment Mask

    The pampering piece de resistance? A life-changing, super-luxe sheet mask. This one bathes skin in pearl powder, niacinamide, and vitamin C for a hydrating and brightening boost. And since the mask is made from tightly woven microfibers, you can toss it on while you get ready for that holiday party you’re late for — or when you're looking for a night-in, self-care treat to pair with that glass of red wine.

    Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

    How To Exfoliate For Your Skin Type, According To Dermatologists

    The Major Mistake You're Making With Your Winter Skin-Care Routine

    These Products Are The Closest You'll Get To The Fountain Of Youth IRL


    0 0

    President Donald Trump’s latest meeting with Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman was inevitably going to be controversial.

    Trump, Prince Mohammed, and Ivanka Trump were spotted giving each other a warm greeting on the sidelines the G-20 summit in Buenos Aires, and it sent a strong message to the rest of the world: the president of the United States, in prioritizing his dealings with Prince Mohammed, condones the actions of a leader who reportedly ordered the death of a journalist.

    This comes just weeks after the CIA released a damning report concluding that the Saudi crown prince ordered the murder of Washington Post columnist Jamal Khashoggi in October. The Washington Post reported that the CIA’s assessment could complicate the president’s relationship with a close ally, should he decide to take action. Instead, Trump announced his support of Prince Mohammed just days after the report, effectively ignoring the CIA’s findings.

    On Friday, Trump showed no indication of hedging on his decision when he was seen talking to Prince Mohammed. A White House representative told the press that the parties “exchanged pleasantries.” Trump himself told reporters, “We had no discussion. We might, but we had none.”

    Needless to say, many people were outraged.

    At the same G-20 meeting, Prince Mohammed was also seen high-fiving and laughing with Russian President Vladimir Putin, which the internet also had a very grim field day over. The Washington Post reports that Trump, having just recently canceled a meeting with Putin at the Kremlin and facing increased pressure from special counsel Robert Muller’s Russia investigation, did not appear to engage with the Russian president.

    Per the Washington Post, Saudi Arabia has said that a team of Saudi agents were behind Khashoggi’s death and failed to follow orders to bring him home alive, killing him and dismembering his body instead. However, contrary to the CIA’s report, Saudi prosecutors say Prince Mohammed — who has attempted to brand himself as a forward-looking leader with high-profile moves such as allowing Saudi women to drive and enter sports stadiums — had no knowledge of the operation.

    Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

    George H. W. Bush, The 41st President, Has Died

    Dallas Police Officer Who Shot & Killed Botham Jean Indicted On Murder Charge

    Robert Mueller Is Looking Into Ivanka & Don Jr.


    0 0
  • 12/02/18--05:30: Your Horoscope This Week
  • This week will be the very definition of changing gears, stargazers. We start the week on Sunday with a waning moon in Libra. Our energy may be a little low and any decisions about our work or home life will be difficult to make. That feeling will pass from Wednesday to Friday, when Mars will conjunct with Neptune. The planet of action and the planet of inspiration make brilliant collaborators — under their gaze, we'll feel ready to present our most ambitious ideas to the powers that be.

    If you’ve been struggling with your words or gadgets, you’ll be happy to hear that Mercury’s retrograde ends on Thursday. The next day, we'll experience the new moon in Sagittarius, which will urge us to open our hearts to each other. On Saturday, the moon waxes into Capricorn, making R&R hard to come by. If you can, leave your work at the office!

    Aries
    March 21 to April 19

    Are you ready to adapt, Aries? On Sunday, Venus makes her way into your eighth house of sex, death, and rebirth. As your personal planet of finances, she can help you revolutionize the ways in which you approach and handle your money from this position.

    On Wednesday, your ruling planet, Mars, will conjunct with Neptune from Wednesday to Friday. When these two heavenly bodies, the planet of action and the planet of imagination, meet like this, they can help bring your wildest dreams into reality.

    Illustrated by Abbie Winters.

    Taurus
    April 20 to May 20

    Romance is in the air this week, Taurus. Venus, the ruler of love and beauty, is making her way into your seventh house of love — and she'll stay there for most of the month. Plus, your personal love planet, Pluto, is also getting into position to bolster your dating life, whether you’re single or attached. Find your flow with your partner during this period. If you’re single, you’ll be able to connect with others through empathy.

    On Friday, your personal financial planet, Mercury, will be going direct. It’s an excellent time to attack your loans or mounting credit card debt. You can even get a head start on organizing for tax season, if you're feeling ambitious.

    Illustrated by Abbie Winters.

    Gemini
    May 21 to June 20

    If you’ve been struggling with a mystery or complex challenge, you just might find the perfect solution on Thursday, when your ruling planet, Mercury, ends its retrograde. The messenger planet's direct motion in Scorpio will helping you get to the bottom of any conundrum that's been hanging over your head.

    On Friday, we will have a new moon in Sagittarius. This heavenly body helps you manage your finances, and it will indicate when it is a smart time for you to make your next money-related decision. Spend any downtime over the weekend crafting a long-term plan around your earnings. You'll be moving in the right direction very soon.

    Illustrated by Abbie Winters.

    Cancer
    June 21 to July 22

    Go easy on yourself in the first half of the week, Cancer. The final days of Mercury retrograde could bring out your harsh inner critic, but you’ll be back to your regular self on Thursday, as the messenger planet returns to direct movement.

    On Friday, you may feel inspired to begin a new undertaking, when the new moon enters Sagittarius. Action planet Mars and dreamy Neptune will also form a conjunction that day, fueling each other's energies. If you’ve got a wild idea, why not go for it? Stay positive and follow your gut — even if you hit a roadblock or rejection, you'll have an opportunity to learn and grow.

    Illustrated by Abbie Winters.

    Leo
    July 23 to August 22

    This Thursday, Mercury, your personal money planet, will bring his retrograde to a close. Once he's direct, the messenger planet will be ready to help you make improvements in your finances, especially as they relate to your home.

    Mercury will be hanging out in your fourth house of home and family this week and next — this is an excellent opportunity to revamp your decor, appliances, and to-do lists. Tackle your household projects with aplomb, but remember to enjoy your free time, too, since the sun is in your fifth house of pleasure all week long. It’s time to socialize.

    Illustrated by Abbie Winters.

    Virgo
    August 23 to September 22

    If you feel like you’ve been swimming upstream lately, the current is about to shift in your favor! Mercury, your planetary ruler, goes direct this Thursday. Once he restarts his forward march, you'll find the words you need to voice your most exciting career plans.

    On Monday, your financial planet, Venus, will make her way into strategic Scorpio. If you’ve been struggling with a project that hasn’t taken off, her influence will help you make it sexy. If you’re working on a presentation, brush up on your design skills and practice your delivery before you make your final pitch. Sometimes a little makeover can make a big impact.

    Illustrated by Abbie Winters.

    Libra
    September 23 to October 22

    Are you ready to get moving, Libra? On Monday, Venus, your sign’s ruler, moves into your house of possessions and money. The planet of charm, beauty, and wealth is posting up here to help you earn!

    It doesn’t matter if you’re off the clock when Friday night comes around — the new moon in Sagittarius may inspire you to start a new business or work-related ideas. Record any stellar ideas that come to mind and don't leave out any details. Look back on your past accomplishments and see how you might surpass them — your next big project could be massive.

    Illustrated by Abbie Winters.

    Scorpio
    October 23 to November 21

    Ready for love to blossom, Scorpio? This Monday, Venus marches into your first house of self, enhancing your natural magnetism. Single or attached, you may notice that those around you just want to show you some love. They won’t be able to get enough of you, so leave them wanting more. Build your confidence and get ready to take over the world.

    If you’re still balancing out issues at home, don’t fret — after all, Uranus is still retrograde. He’s only reminding you of past mistakes and problems so that you can avoid them in early 2019, when he finally goes direct.

    Illustrated by Abbie Winters.

    Sagittarius
    November 22 to December 21

    On Monday, Venus will move into your 12th house of spirituality, Sag. As the health ruler of your sign, she will highlight all the beautiful ways that you can reconnect with your inner self. If you can find a new yoga studio or create a new space in your home for mindful relaxation, you’ll be on the right track.

    On Thursday, Mercury goes direct, helping you amp up your career and love life. If you’re single, you may notice that more and more people are picking up your positive vibes. Partnered Sags will connect with their significant others through affectionate communication. When it comes to work, your ideas could impress higher-ups, leading to bigger and better things for the new year!

    Illustrated by Abbie Winters.

    Capricorn
    December 22 to January 19

    This week you’ll feel the return of your momentum, Capricorn! Get ready to use your intuition to sort out your problems on Monday, once Mercury has slid back into Scorpio. On Thursday, the messenger planet goes direct, supporting your zones of health and work in the process. If you play your cards right, you’ll be able to address past miscommunications and start fresh.

    On Friday, the new moon arrives in Sagittarius, turning your focus to your romantic relationships. Spend time meditating on what successful relationships look like. Do you feel like you're in a healthy position with your current or potential partners?

    Illustrated by Abbie Winters.

    Aquarius
    January 20 to February 18

    The week starts off with promise for you, Aquarius! Venus will move into your 10th house of status and career on Monday. From this position, she can help you impress your higher-ups and managers. Take a moment to revamp your social profiles so that they reflect how you want to be seen and consider pursuing a new mentor. If you admire someone’s work, reach out to them to see if they can help you make the right moves for 2019.

    Set an intention on Friday when the new moon enters Sagittarius. Consider returning to old projects you've yet to execute. The time is now! Build up your idea with the waxing moon’s energy until it’s full later this month — then ask for feedback.

    Illustrated by Abbie Winters.

    Pisces
    February 19 to March 20

    Have you been listening to "Thank U, Next" on repeat lately, Pisces? If you’re ready to make some progress in your love life, Mercury’s forward movement on Thursday will be more than able to assist. This speedy little planet is whizzing through your ninth house of travel, adventure, and expansion. Single or attached, your prime focus is to become a source of positive change in your life.

    Friday’s new moon in Sagittarius will help you conceive new creative projects. Make sure that you keep a record of your best seeds of inspiration — there’s nothing worse than sleeping on (or forgetting) a real gem.

    Illustrated by Abbie Winters.

    Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

    Your December Horoscope, Revealed

    What To Give Your Dad, According To His Sign

    This Mercury Retrograde Is Throwing One Last Curveball Our Way


    0 0

    The future of beauty is here — and you’re invited. Check out the rest of our 2018 Refinery29 Beauty Innovator Awards winners for a full look at the products, brands, and people that are breaking the rules and redefining beauty standards, one lipstick at a time.

    When I emptied out an entire bag full of face masks on my bed to test for our beauty awards, my first thought was, Which one of you serum-soaked sheet masks, charcoal sticks, or holographic glitter thingies is going to eff up my face?

    I have dry, acne-prone skin, and I follow a strict regimen to keep it all in check. So naturally, I was more than a little apprehensive to put dozens of different masks, all with their own dozens of ingredients, on my face — and Dr. Jart+'s Shake & Shot Rubber Mask earned the biggest side-eye.

    The face mask actually launched late last year, and I gave it a hard pass then for a few reasons. For starters, the baby face on the cap reminded me of the Ghostface mask from Scream, which haunted me throughout my childhood. Secondly, this isn’t a mask you just slap on, rinse, and go: It comes with two different components that you need to shake together, let dry, then peel off, which simply felt all too extra for me. But in the name of research, I was forced to ditch my reservations and give the Shake & Shot mask — in the Firming formula, which promises to improve elasticity and firmness — a fair shot.

    I popped the cap off, followed instructions, and got to shaking. When I gave Step 1 and 2 a vigorous whisk in the cup, it formed a grayish mixture that resembled Elmer's Glue. I covered my entire face with a thick layer of the mixture using the included spatula, and the mask took on a Flubber-like texture and cooling sensation that I wasn't mad at. I let it sit for 20 minutes, and the formula settled into a cold, bouncy structure that made the removal process surprisingly easy.

    When I peeled it off, the rubbery mask took my dead, dull skin — and my skepticism — with it. My mind was blown when I saw how incredible my face looked. My pores looked instantly tighter, thanks to the collagen-boosting retinol, but not in a parched, dehydrated way; instead, the stretchy texture made my skin feel nourished and plump. And the brightness was noticeable: Even my boyfriend asked what I "did to my face."

    When I woke up the next morning, my skin still looked like it had been blessed by a million skin-care angels — and for the first time in a while, I was truly blown away by a single product's results. What was once the last thing I'd put on my face suddenly became the only thing I wanted to slather on. So, lesson learned: Never judge a face mask by its terrifying baby-face packaging.

    At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.

    Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

    How To Exfoliate For Your Skin Type, According To Dermatologists

    The Major Mistake You're Making With Your Winter Skin-Care Routine

    These Products Are The Closest You'll Get To The Fountain Of Youth IRL


    0 0

    It's not every day you show up to work and are asked to bleach your eyebrows. But when you're a model, it's just a regular day on the clock. It was the scene backstage at Alexander Wang's 2018 Collection II presentation, where all 42 women walking the show got their eyebrows bleached. Behind the curtain, models sat in makeup chairs with their arches covered in developer, and makeup artists carefully watched to make sure their brows were runway-ready.

    Diane Kendal, lead makeup artist for NARS backstage, tells Refinery29 that the inspiration for barely-there brows was simple: "We just wanted to make them look a bit cooler," she says. Hair and makeup looks were inspired by Wang's juxtaposition between uptown New Yorker meets downtown New Yorker. "It has a very '90s feel," Kendal says.

    Based on skin tone, the brows ranged from platinum to caramel. Makeup artist Jamal Scott, who was in charge of transforming Mayowa Nicholas ' brows, points out that the attention to detail is slightly different when dyeing models of color. "The biggest mistake people make when bleaching brows on Black skin is that they dye the hair lighter than the person's complexion," says Scott. "The main objective [in this case] is to make the hairs look invisible, so you need to match it to the model's skin tone."

    Model Carmen Amare getting her makeup touched up backstage.Theo Wargo/Getty Images

    Scott lifted Nicholas' jet-black hairs to a caramel-brown color and covered them in foundation to achieve a shade closest to her complexion. "It really opens up the eyes and draws major attention to them," he says. "Blending in foundation also helps conceal any dark hairs left behind so we don't have to overprocess."

    The rest of the beauty look was equal parts edgy and elegant. Some models donned white towels wrapped around their heads, a look Dyson hairstylist Duffy meant to represent uptown glamour. Others, had long, downtown-inspired pigtails and ponytails (which required lots of hairspray). Makeup artists kept complexions concealed, but glowing, using the deep, neutral tones in the new NARS Ignited palette to contour on the eyelids. Nothing too dramatic that would overpower the non-existent brows.

    While some people (us, included) would give bleaching our eyebrows a hard "pass," models backstage at Wang embraced the beauty look. "I've never bleached anything before, so I was nervous, but it's still really cool," model Carmen Amare tells us. But what happens after the show? Are models bound to bleached brows forever? Scott was waiting with beard dye at the end of the runway to color models back to their original form before they hit the New York City streets. "Unless, that is, they don't want to," he says.

    Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

    How Much Does Cardi B’s Beauty Routine Cost? She Broke It Down — & It’s Staggering

    How A Rubber Face Mask Turned Me From Skeptic To Straight-Up Believer

    THIS Is Where You Should Get A Tattoo In New York City


    0 0

    Welcome toMoney Diaries , where we're tackling what might be the last taboo facing modern working women: money. We're asking millennials how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we're tracking every last dollar.

    Today: a marketer working in tech who makes $90,000 per year and spends some of her money this week on mini Hershey's bars.

    Occupation: Brand Marketer
    Industry: Tech
    Age: 26
    Location: New York City
    Income: $90,000
    Paycheck Amount (2x/month): $1,959 (I also do freelance work sporadically, for which I get paid around $2,000 at a time.)

    Monthly Expenses
    Rent: I pay $1,400, and my boyfriend pays the remainder of our $6,700/month apartment. This is because he makes about six times more than I do, and really wanted an apartment that I obviously could not pay half the rent for.
    Student Loans: $0 (My tuition was paid for by a combination of inheritance from my grandparents and parental support. I am very lucky.)
    Credit Card: ~$300 (I have $900 left to pay off.)
    Acorns Investment: $10 plus auto round-ups
    Acorns Later: This is what I'm using as a Roth IRA, which I just set up. I'm new to the retirement fund situation because I've never worked for a company that provided a 401(k). I just started contributing $25/week, which I plan to up once I've paid off my credit card.
    Netflix: $0 (I use my boyfriend's account.)
    Spotify Premium: $9.99
    Adobe Photoshop: $60 (Used only for freelance work, so I'll be able to write it off hopefully for taxes).
    Savings: $600

    Day One

    8 a.m. — Alarm goes off, but my office is a ghost town until 10. I like to have a leisurely wake up, so I snooze the alarm. A few minutes later, my boyfriend (who woke up at 7:30) crawls back into bed with me. We are moving backwards. I read theSkimm, The Hustle, and The Monocle Minute on my phone, and then get out of bed around 9 and do my every-damn-morning routine: Avène everything. I've dealt with rosacea and acne my entire life, and the only routine that has kept my skin calm is comprised solely of products for babies made from thermal spring water developed by French dermatologists a hundred years ago. I get major trendy skincare FOMO. I put some peanut butter and chopped dates on celery and start my one-mile walk to work.

    9:30 a.m. — Today is one of those glorious, sideways-rain days we all just love so much here in New York. I pop into Starbucks and get a medium vanilla coffee with steamed soy milk. $4.95

    9:31 a.m. — Spill entire medium vanilla coffee all over my pants and the brand new Barbour jacket I stole from my boyfriend's closet this morning as I struggle to open my umbrella on the sidewalk. I scream a string of expletives, and a West Village mother cups her hands over her child's ears and gapes at me in horror. Good morning, world!

    10 a.m. — Arrive at work, catch up on emails, and give feedback on creative projects. Side note about office life: Does anyone else live in silent, freezing misery all day long? I break from work to text my friend C. about the ballet we want to see. We found two amazing seats for only $75 each, which is suspicious. They don't even have a “partial view” tag or anything. We choose to believe this is serendipity and jump on them. I pay, and she Venmos me. I throw in a few bucks as a donation at checkout. $100

    1:30 p.m. — I go to break out my sad salad when I remember we have a work lunch today at a Thai place. TBH, I hate eating exciting lunches because I have digestion problems triggered by delicious things like garlic and onions and oil, but I don't want to earn a reputation as Girl We Shouldn't Invite To Lunch. I browse the menu online. It looks like they have a few delightfully bland veggie and brown rice options. I order one with no sauce at the restaurant. Our boss covers it.

    5 p.m. — I am a MAJOR sugar addict (plot twist!). I'm trying to cut back because of stomach pain, but I feel like ONE mini Hershey's bar won't kill me. I buy two mini Hershey's bars and a hot tea ($2.98). I savor the high as I browse Goodreads and put books on hold at the library ( Where The Crawdads Sing, Beartown, Three Things About Elsie, and Dark Places). I recently moved down the street from a library, and my life has improved tenfold. I just finished reading Sons and Daughters of Ease and Plenty, and would not recommend to anyone. Zero stars. Don't read. $2.98

    6:30 p.m. — It's my friend D.'s birthday today, and instead of having the celebration on the weekend prior like a normal person, he is having it on a Monday. However, my friend situation is growing dire (I have very few friends left in NYC), and I am fundamentally against flaking culture. I hop on the L train (I have money on a random subway card), stop at a bakery to buy a box of giant cookies ($21.75), and bop across the street to the liquor store for a bottle of bourbon ($38.50). It's not a birthday dinner without presents, IMO. $60.25

    9:45 p.m. — D. is a photographer who has done work for this restaurant, so they hook him up with a good deal on a family-style meal of wine, salad, pasta, steak, fish, and cake. I nibble at dinner and then eat a slice of cake the size of my face, as per usual. I sit next to a Russian girl and ask her about Russia. (I would read Anna Karenina every day of my life if I had the time) and try to get her to describe what American accents sound like. (This is a question that will eat at me for my entire life.) Post-dinner, we head to the rooftop bar. I don't get a drink, but hang out for about an hour to show birthday support before Ubering home ($28.75). $28.75

    11 p.m. — I Venmo the birthday boy $80 towards the dinner when I get home. My boyfriend is working late, so I head to bed around midnight. $80

    Daily Total: $276.93

    Day Two

    7:30 a.m. — I wake up for an 8 a.m. call. I'm working from home this morning because the second half of our sectional is arriving today (after they delivered the wrong piece twice). My stomach is killing me, probably from the weird combo of dinner food and aggressive cake-eating, so I drink a big glass of lemon water and wait for my stomach to calm down before I make my peanut butter/date/celery situation.

    9 a.m. — Couch got delivered early! Two months later, our sectional is complete. I start my walk to work and stop at a local coffee shop for a large vanilla coffee with oat milk, which I do not spill at all! $3.25

    10 a.m. — Work day starts with a PR emergency, so I spend all morning writing pacifying emails to a dozen different people and strategizing with our agency. Afterwards, I take my day-old wilted salad from the fridge and eat it in the lounge area. I supplement with Skinny Pop from the office.

    5 p.m. — My stomach feels like there is a small fire burning inside of it, but I'm also hungry? I tentatively eat a granola bar (also from the office) and leave for my cardio hot yoga class. Sweating it out usually helps.

    8:15 p.m. — I walk home from yoga feeling a little more chill and in less pain. It's about a mile walk, so I listen to My Favorite Murder. I pop into the market under my building and pick up a brown rice and avocado roll and veggie potstickers for dinner. I then ponder the extensive bougie chocolate bar offerings, select a particularly artisanal-looking coconut-and-pecan option, and check out ($19.09). I spend the remainder of the evening sprawled across every square inch of our new, complete, fully-assembled sectional while watching World of Dance reruns. My boyfriend is working late, so I head to bed alone at 12:45 a.m. $19.09

    Daily Total: $22.34

    Day Three

    7:15 a.m. — My boyfriend's alarm goes off and wakes me up. He leaves, and I read the news until 9. Then I make peanut butter/dates/celery for breakfast and get a calendar reminder that I have work drinks tonight. I brush my hair and eyebrows in anticipation. I'm not used to putting this much effort into my routine, so now I'm running late. I slip into Starbucks and get an iced vanilla coffee with almond milk ($3.43). PSA: the almond milk at Starbucks is nasty. $3.43

    10:30 a.m. — I'm late. I walk into the office briskly, pretending to wrap up an important phone call so that it seems like I have been pacing just outside the office, handling business. Nobody notices or cares that I am late. I spend the afternoon doing some planning, and then break out another sad lunch salad and grab some popcorn and a granola bar. I also book a dance class at my favorite workout studio ($35) for this upcoming Saturday and a different dance class at my second-favorite studio ($35) for Sunday. Usually I buy a monthly membership at one studio, but I'm debating this month still. $70

    4 p.m. — Leave for networking drinks with my coworker. It's pouring rain, so he calls us an Uber. We meet up with colleagues at a bar, and typical small chat ensues. They all get a few rounds of drinks while I nurse a ginger ale (expensed), and then I excuse myself after about two hours because I have to get to pilates. (I prepaid for the class.)

    8:15 p.m. — An hour of muscle torture later, I start my trek home. Then I shower and heat up a can of Amy's Organic Quinoa, Kale, and Red Lentil soup for dinner with some Mary's Gone Crackers. I also book a last-minute 8 a.m. SoulCycle class for tomorrow morning and cancel my booked HIIT class ($36). I hate morning workouts, and the idea of burpees and bright lights at 8 a.m. sounds miserable right now. At least SoulCycle is in the dark and half-seated. I do my every-damn-night routine: Avène everything and Biologique Recherche P50 (if you're debating, BITE, because it's so good) topped off with Biologique Recherche face cream.

    11 p.m. — My boyfriend comes home! He has to do more work, but he watches Dirty Dancing with me. I grew up without television, so I'm catching up on decades' worth of movies. I head to bed alone around midnight while he finishes work.

    Daily Total: $73.43

    Day Four

    7:15 a.m. — Omg LOL. My last night self was ambitious. I immediately snooze the alarm until 7:45. Then I force myself with every ounce of willpower and absolutely zero motivation to get up and walk the four blocks to SoulCycle. I use a leftover gift card balance for shoes and water.

    8:45 a.m. — Limp home. I clean our kitchen and guest bathroom and hang out with my boyfriend, who is slowly getting ready for work. Once he leaves, I shower and then have the brilliant idea to turn my sad desk salad into a thrilling desk wrap!! I dump all the salad in the middle of a whole wheat wrap. Then…try to wrap it? Doesn't work. I attempt to salvage it by holding it all together with a bunch of tinfoil. I choose to ignore what will happen once the tinfoil is removed.

    9:45 a.m. — I make two celery sticks with peanut butter and NO dates, because I'm in charge of my own wild destiny, and walk to work listening to The Memory Palace. I'm pretty drained. I don't get the endorphin rush people say they get from morning workouts. I feel like I've just survived being chased by a bear and need to go lay down. I head to my favorite coffee shop for a large vanilla coffee with oat milk. $4

    1:30 p.m. — I have never failed as badly at anything in my life as I did with this salad wrap. Skinny Pop ILYSM.

    3 p.m. — I text my friend R. to see if she wants to go to an improv show at Upright Citizens Brigade tomorrow. She's into it. We've been trying to come up with weekend plans that don't revolve solely around drinking and eating. I buy both tickets, and she Venmos me for her half. $13.50

    6 p.m. — Out of left field, my friend T., who I haven't seen in forever, texts me that she's near my apartment and wants to come over. I dip out of work and stop to pick up a bottle of wine. On my way to the checkout, I also pick up a pity bottle of Malbec from a guy offering free tastings ($43.31). I don't even like Malbec. I stop for groceries, and it ends up being a more expensive trip than normal — I don't keep snacks around the house, but I grab some in honor of Girls' Night. I buy peanut butter, English muffins, tuna, avocados, chives, parsley, dill, lettuce, cucumbers, dinner rolls, a bag of popcorn, and trail mix. And a donut ($46.21). $89.52

    8 p.m. — T. arrives and literally rolls into my apartment like: “I could really go for some Malbec.” We watch Shark Tank and catch up while snacking. We decide to order a proper dinner of tacos, which I pay for, and she Venmos me her share ($22.35 each). After she leaves around 11, I do my laundry and prep salad dressing for the weekend (vegan mayo, olive oil, fresh dill, fresh parsley, fresh chives, salt, and pepper). My boyfriend comes home around 12, which is so early for him that he actually asks if I want to watch an episode of Sharp Objects. No. No, I would like to go to bed. Do my every-damn-night routine and fall asleep. $22.35

    Daily Total: $129.37

    Day Five

    7:25 a.m. — Alarm goes off, and I actually get out of bed! But my boyfriend catches my foot and pulls me back. So it's his fault I snooze for another ten minutes. I finally get up at 7:45, and now I'm going to be late for pilates (booked with old pass). I throw on workout clothes, pack a quick lunch salad and a whole wheat dinner roll, and then book it to pilates.

    9:20 a.m. — Can't feel my legs. I stop for a coffee on my way to work. $3.61

    10 a.m. — Arrive at work, grab a handful of almonds, and start cranking on training documents for new team members. I also check out some hotels because my boyfriend and I are attending a wedding next month and decided to make a weekend trip out of it. My boyfriend has much more expensive taste in hotels than I do or can afford, so when we go on trips, he generally pays. I usually contribute a few dinners or an activity within my budget. I find a nice B&B, email it to him, and he books it.

    2 p.m. — Break out my lunch. Much less gross than the rest of the week's lunches! While I eat, one of my best hometown friends texts our group chat reminding me that I have to send our other friend a wedding gift! I check out her registry on Crate & Barrel. She's not a “treat yourself” kind of girl, so the list is mostly essentials. I find one option that seems like a fun luxury treat (sterling silver photo frames), and buy four. I choose to pay extra for gift wrap. I love presents!! $218.13

    4:30 p.m. — I'm pulling up my jeans in the bathroom and literally rip two of the belt loops straight off. This is my own fault. I never buy new jeans and only own two pairs. I kick myself for balling out on those stupid picture frames like I'm freaking Daddy Warbucks. I leave work and walk around the corner to Aritzia, where I find a pair of KILLER Citizens jeans. They're so good, I make a note in my phone of the exact style so I can eventually buy one in every color. I also pick up two tops, but once I do all the math in my head, I immediately drop the two tops and stick with just the jeans, which are a splurge on their own. An investment piece, right? Right?? $235

    5:30 p.m. — I get back to work and see that my coworker left a big salad on my desk, since there's catered food at the office tonight. I eat half and save the rest.

    6:30 p.m. — Race out of work because I'm supposed to meet R. in an hour! I speed to my apartment, drop my things off, and call an Uber. It cancels on me. I call another — it also cancels on me. This happens often enough that I'm thinking there is some sort of driver-facing warning on my Uber account. Thankfully, there's a taxi outside my apartment. I hop in a cab and take it to Times Square ($10.55 with tip). $10.55

    7 p.m. — I'm instantly reminded of why we never come here. BUT we've been wanting to check out this classic bar, and the theater is nearby, so it's now or never. And it's super fun! There's a piano player and the cocktails are delicious ($18.30 with tip). We each nurse one drink until it's time to walk to the show. At the theater, I buy us each a big glass of wine (you have to be a little tipsy for an improv show) and R. Venmos me for her half ($8). The show is glaringly mediocre. $26.30

    10:30 p.m. — My boyfriend texted me during the show that he's home early. I grab a taxi ($11.34 with tip), and we open the bottle of wine I bought earlier this week and snack on a big bowl of popcorn. We watch the last two episodes of Sharp Objects. (I have to say — I felt like it was really predictable. But still enjoyable to watch. In a gross, messed up way.) We pass out around 1:30 a.m. $11.34

    Daily Total: $504.93

    Day Six

    8:30 a.m. — Up and at ‘em. I have a dance workout at 9 a.m. I laid out my workout clothes next to the bed last night, so I get ready quickly and still somehow manage to be running late. I walk halfway and am not making good time, so I grab a taxi. $4.35

    10:30 a.m. — As someone who could barely run the mile in high school, dance cardio has been a game changer. I meander back to my apartment listening to The Memory Palace and My Favorite Murder. On the way, I stop at the library to pick up three books on hold and at my local coffee shop for an iced coffee with oat milk ($5 with tip). When I get home, I sprawl on the floor of my boyfriend's office while he works, talking at him, and clean the apartment for an hour. Once it's all fresh, I sit down with my laptop and do some graphic design work for the brands I freelance for. I eat the rest of my salad from yesterday for lunch. $5

    3 p.m. — I curl up on the couch with my new book, As Wide As the Sky, and a glass of wine. This book is not gripping me — it feels a little pandering. My boyfriend finally finishes his work, and we head out for a BBQ on his friend's roof. We pick up a bottle of wine to bring ($28, boyfriend pays) and then grab a cab ($10.45, boyfriend pays). One of the girls there brought her new puppy, so it's instantly the best BBQ I've ever attended. I get a little anxious when they start taking hot dog or hamburger orders (I'm not an enthusiastic meat eater), but the host's wife has a veggie burger for me!

    7 p.m. — The second part of this evening's plan is to go to the concert of a band I've never heard of, but my boyfriend did not inform me that NONE of the other girls are going. And the host of the BBQ already bought me a ticket. So it's just me, my boyfriend, and all the husbands/boyfriends while the girls hang back and drink wine. I would have loved to hang back and drink wine. My boyfriend pays for our Uber and everyone's train tickets for the LIRR to Queens. Once at the venue, I get myself a rum and lemonade cocktail. $16

    9 p.m. — I still have no idea what band this is. My boyfriend gets me another cocktail to numb the pain of sitting through this random concert with a group of his fraternity brothers. Finally, FINALLY, it ends, and we all Uber back to Manhattan. Those lemonades hit me hard, and I pass out as soon as we get home, around midnight.

    Daily Total: $25.35

    Day Seven

    9:30 a.m. — I wake up and get ready to go help set up for opening day at the boutique of a brand I freelance for. I went to school for fashion and started out in the industry, but found the culture wasn't for me. My side hustles let me still enjoy the fun, creative parts. I drink the rest of my iced coffee from yesterday and have some trail mix for breakfast, which is just a socially acceptable, healthy way to eat peanuts and M&Ms.

    12 p.m. — After a fun and busy morning decorating the store and styling merchandise, R. meets me, and we decide we want ice cream. We try to avoid dairy, so we stop by Grom for sorbet (lemon and wild blueberry, $6.50) and then sit on a bench in Washington Square Park near a jazz band. She's moving away soon, and I'm going through the stages of grief. Right now I am at Bargaining, so I spend most of the afternoon trying to convince her that she could live rent-free in my apartment in exchange for walking the dog we are adopting. I assure her my boyfriend would be SO fine with it!! $6.50

    3:30 p.m. — Dance class. Afterward, I walk home and snack on some popcorn while my boyfriend finishes work. Then we walk to a nearby bar so he can watch a football game. I know nothing about sports, but I love a festive atmosphere, so assign me a team to cheer for, put me in a crowded bar, and I'm real into it. He has to take work calls intermittently throughout, but it's nice to have some time with just him! I have rosé, which is predictably awful, because who orders rosé at a sports bar. I switch to a Bloody Mary. My boyfriend pays. At halftime, we walk to a pizza spot where he gets a few slices, and I eat his crusts like a weird, symbiotic parasite.

    8 p.m. — We walk home, and I pour myself more rosé while my boyfriend orders us dinner from a Middle Eastern restaurant. I get a chicken kebab and some hummus. We watch The Sinner while we eat, and then pass out by 12.

    Daily Total: $6.50

    Money Diaries are meant to reflect individual women's experiences and do not necessarily reflect Refinery29's point of view. Refinery29 in no way encourages illegal activity or harmful behavior.

    The first step to getting your financial life in order is tracking what you spend — to try on your own, check out our guide to managing your money every day. For more money diaries, click here.

    Have you been working for at least 8 years and seen your salary increase or fluctuate? If so, fill out this form for a chance to be featured on our Salary Story series!

    Have a Money Diary you'd like to share? Right now, in addition to our ongoing diaries, we're looking for potential diarists along the following theme:

    Your Spending In Your State: We want to run one Money Diary from a different state each week. Want to rep your state? Submit here! In particular, we're looking for diaries from Hawaii, Maine, New Mexico, and North Dakota.

    Have questions about how to submit or our publishing process? Read our Money Diaries FAQ doc here: r29.co/mdfaqs

    Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

    A Week In Washington, D.C., On A $78,617 Salary

    Anxious At Work? When To Talk To Your Boss About Stress

    How To Handle Holiday Shopping When You're Broke AF


    0 0

    Back Friday and Cyber Monday are done, but Amazon isn't. Just when we thought the huge wave of holidays sales had hit a crescendoing peak, the mega online shopping destination lit up a whole new batch of steals — and dubbed it the 12 Days of Deals. Starting today and continuing on through the festive month ahead we'll be able to snag discounts on everything from books to boardgames, tech to fashion gear, beauty to food, home decor, and more. Essentially, Amazon is now Santa and he's given us 12-day access to his workshop.

    Since the sales are only available for a limited time, we'll be monitoring the top deals each day and serving up the best every 24 hours. Scroll ahead and get a little shopping inspiration for yourself or someone else while saving few extra buckeroos. Cheers to feeling a little less broke AF this holiday season! Thank you, Santa Amazon.

    At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.

    Giving your bedroom a refreshing makeover is as easy as investing in a stylish headboard — and Amazon is taking the investment piece out of the equation with its sale on this choice purchase.

    AmazonBasics Faux Linen Upholstered Headboard, $102.99 $72.09, available at Amazon.

    Now's the time to get after that reading list you've been steadily building since summer — the site is offering up to 80% off best-selling non-fiction reads on Kindle for today only.

    Mary Gabriel Ninth Street Women, $35.00 $7.99, available at Amazon.

    The ultimate gift for dog-lovers — this Alexa compatible camera designed for dogs can do everything from two-way audio talks to tossing treats to furry friends who are home alone.

    Furbo Dog Camera, $249.00 $169.00, available at Amazon.

    Treat yourself to a self-care Himalayan rock salt lamp that was handmade in Pakistan.

    Himalayan Glow Pink Crystal Salt Lamp, $ 19.99 $16.99, available at Amazon.

    Add a punch of vintage flair to your look for under $10 with these retro cat-eye sunglasses.

    SOJOS Cat Eye Sunglasses, $9.99 $7.97, available at Amazon.

    Amazon is slashing prices on a wide range of its popular smart devices — and today we're eyeing the Dot smart speaker with Alexa in a soft charcoal gray.

    Amazon Echo Dot, $49.99 $29.99, available at Amazon.

    This sleek bathroom scale comes equipped with smart step-on technology and a back-lit LCD screen.

    Etekcity Digital Bathroom Scale, $32.99 $15.99, available at Amazon.

    Stock up on these best-selling essential oils in lemongrass, peppermint, orange, lavender, eucalyptus, and tea tree scents.

    Lagunamoon Essential Oils, $15.99 $8.73, available at Amazon.

    Get your winter hibernation arsenal in cozy shape with this super-soft, king-sized throw.

    LBRO2M Velvet Plush Throw (King), $42.70 $29.52, available at Amazon.

    We never knew we needed a rapid egg cooker...Until we saw this powder blue, tiered contraption from Dash with boiling, poaching, scrambling, and omelette-making capabilities.

    Dash Deluxe Rapid Egg Cooker, $29.99 $23.99, available at Amazon.

    Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

    My Boyfriend & I Pay $4,000 In Rent — For 400 Square Feet & A Terrace Filled With Plants

    A-Listed: Cardi B Bought Her Mom A House

    Airbnb's Latest Venture? Building The Sustainable Dream Houses Of The Future


    0 0

    What $4000 Gets You In NYC

    In Refinery29's Sweet Digs, we take a look inside the sometimes small, sometimes spacious homes of millennial women. Today, 29-year-old Kelsie Hayes behind The Pop Up Florist shows us her tiny studio, filled to the brim with plants.

    In New York City, moving is pretty much synonymous with downsizing. Take it from fashion-designer-turned-florist Kelsie Hayes.

    Hayes, who spent most of her NYC life living alone, opted to move in with her boyfriend for a six-month lease. The kicker: They decided to share his tiny 400-square-foot studio.

    So Hayes' boyfriend cleared out a closet and bought her a dresser, and Hayes put half her belongings in storage. They worked out a system of answering emails in the bathroom if the other one was sleeping. The one saving grace of the living arrangement? The spacious outdoor terrace as big — if not bigger — than their studio. "Even before I moved in, my project was to make the terrace really special, since our apartment is pretty small," Hayes says. "We spend our mornings out there, or at night we'll have friends over for drinks or dinner. And we haven't killed each other yet, so I think that's a great sign."

    Watch the video above to hear about how Hayes and her boyfriend make it work — and read on to learn more about the apartment's gorgeous, leafy transformation.

    Can you talk about how you found the apartment?

    I actually moved into his place, but he found it right when we started dating. I feel like every day he would send me 50 links to different things he wanted to buy, so I do feel like I helped lay out the apartment as well.

    How did you two combine styles when you moved in?

    I mean, he loves mid-century modern and I love mixing textiles and prints. I think I have a little bit more of an eclectic style, but we both love color so I think that our style really meshes well together.

    What did you switch up?

    I really wanted us to get an outdoor table but I didn’t want to spend a lot of money, so we ended up buying a picnic table on Amazon and painting it. I'm all about DIY projects; it's what I do. I thought picking out a paint color would be easier, but we had 50 different colors in mind. Finally, I was like, this is what we're doing, and we ended up painting it a mint green called Miami Grass. When I suggested that he said, You're crazy, but we love it. It's really pretty. I wanted to have a lot of color and make it really fun. We're on the second floor and there are 12 floors in the building, so after we decorated the outdoor space, everyone looked down, saw what we we did, and asked, Who did that? It looks so amazing.

    Who inspires your style?

    I definitely learned from my friend, who I designed the clothing line with before. We're still best friends. She just has awesome taste and I helped her open up our store in LA, so I got to really be a part of that, which was so different from being a 28-year-old decorating her apartment. My boyfriend also knows about every furniture designer out there; it's just one of his hobbies.

    Do you have any decorating tips?

    I always tell people, and it might seem like a sales pitch, but if they really want to brighten up a space, adding a plant or flowers really helps. Even if your apartment is chaotic and messy, it's the one beautiful thing that you can look at, something that brings you joy.

    This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

    Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

    The Best Daily Deals From Amazon's 12-Day Holiday Sale

    A-Listed: Cardi B Bought Her Mom A House

    Airbnb's Latest Venture? Building The Sustainable Dream Houses Of The Future


    0 0

    The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is airing tonight. But if you’re feeling less inspired than usual to tune in for the annual Hadid and Jenner -heavy broadcast — perhaps thanks to last month’s Vogue interview with Victoria’s Secret exec Ed Razek, in which he dismissed the possibility of ever including curve or trans models in the brand’s runway shows — you have another option.

    Lane Bryant and Cacique, a plus size clothing chain and a lingerie brand, respectively, have released a lingerie video of their own on the same day as the Victoria’s Secret broadcast. The video features curvy models and is designed to cater towards all women, not just ones who want to buy into what Ed Razek called “the fantasy” by Victoria’s Secret.

    “Our hope is that the millions of modern women who share our same core beliefs of inclusivity, body positivity and female empowerment will join us in our commitment to celebrating women of all shapes and sizes. We feel proud and privileged to play a small part in paving the way for a more inclusive world for generations of women to come,” Marcy Schaffir, EVP/GMM of Cacique Intimates, said in a press release.

    The video is also a call to action for those who feel inspired by the message of inclusivity to post their own images, paired, naturally, with a hashtag: #weareallthefantasy. “If we can show just one woman that she is beautiful and worthy just as she is, not only with inclusive marketing, but with beautifully designed intimates that fit her impeccably as well, then we have done our job as a brand,” Schaffir said.

    Fantasy or not, that’s a message anyone should be able to get behind.

    Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

    Is Beyoncé Buying Back Ivy Park From Topshop Or Not?

    Victoria's Secret Executive Apologizes For Anti-Trans Comments After Major Blowback

    The Folklore Is Bringing Africa’s Best Designers To The U.S.


    0 0

    Alright, it's that time again — yes, a time of reflection and soul searching as we reach the end of the year, but it's also time for the annual Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. Like every December, dozens of lanky Angels take to the world's most watched runway to strut the latest and greatest of what the multi-billion dollar lingerie company has on offer. A- and B-list performers provide the soundtracks to their sultry and magisterial walks. And, in a shameless display of marketing, a message is transmitted to millions of viewers across the globe: sex(y) still sells.

    However, this year's spectacle will be different for several reasons: it sees model Behati Prinsloo making a return to the iconic catwalk after a three-year hiatus, and Adriana Lima taking her final bow, the show will feature more looks than ever before, including a collaboration with British designer Mary Katrantzou, and it returns to its hometown of New York City. But as audiences watch the event via live streams, social media, and television, they'll remember what its parent company L Brands' chief marketing officer Ed Razek revealed to Vogue just a few weeks ago.

    When asked whether Victoria's Secret would ever consider featuring more diversity in their legendary broadcast, like plus-size and transgender models, Razek said "No one had any interest in [plus-size models], still don’t" and gave a flat-out "No," respectively. And we've learned even more about the company's views on catching up with society's newly reformed beauty standards since.

    So, with that being said, we've compiled every look from the latest Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. There's plaid, there's sparkle, a ton of those crazy, handmade wing apparatuses — and not a single curvy or transgender (or non-binary) model in sight. We'd say "better luck next year," but no, we're on the brink of 2019 and the stakes are too high — so, we'll just say, "see you next time."

    Gigi Hadid

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Sui He

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Sara Sampaio

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Kendall Jenner

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Bella Hadid

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Cheyenne Maya

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Subah Koj

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Leomie Anderson

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Josephine Skriver

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Alexina Graham

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Taylor Hill

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Adriana Lima

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Jasmine Tookes

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Shanina Shaik

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Behati Prinsloo

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Yasmin Wijnaldum

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Lameka Fox

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Behati Prinsloo

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Romee Strijd

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Lais Ribeiro

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Herieth Paul

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Jourdana Phillips

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Myrthe Bolt

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Devon Windsor

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Bella Hadid

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Yasmin Wijnaldum

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Ming Xi

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Kelly Gale

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Martha Hunt

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Isilda Moreira

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Alannah Walton

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Estelle Chen

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Maia Cotton

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Josie Canseco

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Grace Elizabeth

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Maggie LaineAiden Curtiss

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Sofie Rovenstine

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Aiden Curtiss

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Grace Bol

    Photo: Taylor Hill/FilmMagic.

    Lais Ribeiro

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Sui He

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Alexina Graham

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Alanna Arrington

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Josephine Skriver

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Adriana Lima

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Winnie Harlow

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Kendall Jenner

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Gigi Hadid

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Barbara Palvin

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Romee Strijd

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Candice Swanepoel

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Devon Windsor

    Photo: Thomas Concordia/Getty Images.

    Stella Maxwell

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Duckie Thot

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Winnie Harlow

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Stella Maxwell

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Taylor Hill

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Elsa Hosk

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Willow Hand

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Mayowa Nicholas

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Barbara Palvin

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Lorena Rae

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Barbara Fialho

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Candice Swanepoel

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Sara Sampaio

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Toni Garrn

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Aiden Curtiss

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Frida Aasen

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Barbara Fialho

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Kelsey Merritt

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Nadine Leopold

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Iesha Hodges

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Georgia Fowler

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Kelly Gale

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Sofie Rovenstine

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Lameka Fox

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Cindy Bruna

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Jourdana Phillips

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Liu Wen

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Sadie Newman

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Jasmine Tookes

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Liu Wen

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Zuri Tibby

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Cindy Bruna

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Elsa Hosk

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Grace Elizabeth

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Melie Tiacoh

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Gizele Oliveira

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Ming Xi

    Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

    Martha Hunt

    Photo: Michael Stewart/FilmMagic.

    Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

    Here's What Else We Know About Victoria's Secret's Impossible Beauty Standards

    Disney Just Closed Out Mickey's 90th Birthday With A Super Limited Collab

    Why You (Still) Won't See Any Size Diversity At This Year's VS Fashion Show


    0 0

    When it comes to small space living, there's a lot of misinformation out there. To be fair, it mostly comes from a place of good intentions — you can take solace in the fact that nobody's trying to sabotage your pint-sized home makeover. But what works for a cozy dorm room may not shine in 400-square-foot NYC apartment, just like what flatters a refurbished basement unit may not be the thing for a rustic Los Angeles bungalow. Small spaces, while they share in common their diminutive size, are often otherwise very different.

    But then, there are the things that are, almost universally, just plain bad ideas. Sometimes it's a look that has (for good reason) fallen out of style, or a strategy supposedly meant to maximize the space in a room that, in actuality, ends up being confusing, distracting, or just plain hard to keep clean. Sure, most home decor mistakes are fixable, but why make them in the first place if you can avoid it? That's why we polled four interior design experts on the small space mishaps they see most often, plus how to avoid them.

    Lots Of Tiny Furniture

    "Sometimes I go into people's spaces and they never planned the space out properly, but rather ended up with three different types of storage pieces (a medium height think bookshelf, a three drawer dresser and an amoire), a bed and two mismatched nightstands no rug and no art," says Tali Roth of Tali Roth Designs in New York. "That kind of chaos in a small space is unnecessary. Try and pick a wall and line it entirely in storage. Ensure you have art on the walls (there is always space for art) and make sure the bedding is cozy and the rug encourages a sense of calm."

    How To Avoid It: It's all about editing. Are you still hanging onto dinky pieces of micro-furniture from your college dorm or adolescent bedroom? Chuck them in favor of investing in a few weightier pieces that can help define a space. These don't have to be pricey: try flea markets, estate sales, and even IKEA. But the idea is to set up anchors and build around them, rather than throwing a bunch of small items together.

    White Walls

    "While paint is unarguably one of the best small space hacks, it’s not necessarily a cure-all. Certain architecture and home styles are not conducive to a complete ‘white out,’ and in doing so, can compromise the character of a home drastically," explains Katie Hodges of Katie Hodges Design in Los Angeles. "Instead, consider your dark nooks as an opportunity for a cozy seating area that honors your home’s original charm."

    "When you paint all the walls of a small space white and keep the furniture too light you tend to look like you are living in a IKEA-designed prison cell (a little dramatic but you get the gist)," agrees Roth.

    How To Avoid It: Kick white and its equally boring cousins beige, ivory, and sand to the curb in favor of rich shades that will add dimension. Also, while much maligned, the accent wall is alive and well as an interior design strategy, and can add interest to a smaller space without fear of overwhelming it. (Accent wall detractors, don't @ me.)

    Risk Avoidance

    We get it: When you're short on space, it feels scary to try to pull of any kind of look. But keeping your place too visually quiet creates a feeling of impermanence and listlessness that can actually emphasize its small size. Plus, it's just not very much fun.

    How To Avoid It: "A powder room is a great spot to take a risk, even for the risk-averse. By adding a patterned wallpaper, this elevates a room by adding a large dose of personality in a spot that is closed off from other rooms," says Kate Marker of Kate Marker Interiors in Chicago. "A unique vanity, ornate mirror, and/or unusual plumbing fixtures are all additional ways to make a small room have a big impact."

    Not Utilizing All Spaces

    If you live in New York City, land of inexplicably closet-less apartments, there's a good chance you have nowhere to hang your coat, much less keep your extra sheets and towels. But in other places, you might have one too many closets — or some other weird design feature you have no clue what to do with. But allowing these areas to go underused seems silly when space is at a premium.

    How To Avoid It: "Challenge your design imagination by transforming a mundane must-have to a beautiful architectural element! A drab linen closet doesn’t have to be drywall and an interior door; instead design for a built-in armoire look with cabinet doors, pretty hardware, even mesh for pattern and texture. All the function of linen storage plus the look of built-in beauty!" shares Marker.

    Rug Reduction

    "People often believe that small rooms need small rugs. But the size of the rug visually defines the size of the area. So a large living room rug will give the illusion of spaciousness. Buying several small carpets will look like a collection of bath mats in the room," shares Betsy Helmuth of Affordable Interior Design, which has locations around the country as well as in London.

    How To Avoid It: Are you sensing a theme here? The one thing all decorators seem to agree upon is that just because a space is small doesn't mean it can only be filled with small things — in fact, it shouldn't be. And it's true, if we learned anything from The Big Lebowski, it's that there's nothing like a rug to, ahem, really tie the room together.

    Not Utilizing Mirrors

    "Many times in a small space, people overlook the power of mirrors. Mirrors add perspective to a room by making spaces look wider and deeper," says Helmuth. "Additionally, they can reflect the light coming in from the windows and the lamps which helps to brighten cave-like rooms. So skip the art and go for an oversized mirror above the sofa or at the end of a hallway instead!"

    How To Avoid It: Maybe you thought the whole mirror thing was a myth, but guess what? It's not. In fact, Homepolish interior designer Emma Beryl recently explained everything you need to know about making this trick work for you. And, as Helmuth notes, there are plenty of interesting embellished mirrors on the market right now that are just as good as an artwork to hang on the wall. Plus, all the better for taking selfies with.

    No Drapes

    "In order to keep things minimal, many of my clients don’t want to use decorative drapes in a small space. However, drapes help to draw the eye up, taking the focus off the small amount of square footage and making any space feel grander," says Helmuth.

    How To Avoid It: Drapes! How fabulous. And also: how intimidating! Drapes can be tricky because they have to fit the window properly, and also, if the window in question doesn't already have a rod attached, you'll have to install one. It is, as they say, a whole thing. If you're up for it, we recommend consulting this Homepolish guide to all things windows, heading to IKEA (which, in our experience, has a surprisingly fun and extensive selection of fabrics and patterns), and maybe even hiring a TaskRabbit to help with install.

    Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

    Take A Look Inside Christene Barberich's Non-Traditional Baby Nursery

    The Best Daily Buys From Amazon's 12 Days Of Deals

    My Boyfriend & I Pay $4,000 In Rent — For 400 Square Feet & A Terrace Filled With Plants


    0 0

    Illustrated by Anna Sudit.

    In honor of 4/20 we're revisiting some of our greatest…hits.

    In the history of the world, there is no record of a fatal marijuana overdose. Nevertheless, many people have gotten so high that they've wished they were dead, which is terrifying.

    Beyond psychic meltdowns, many other people have gotten high and simply not liked it, with all the expected feelings of euphoria and sensual enhancement eclipsed by panic, paranoia, and a racing heart rate. Should you ever find yourself in the grip of an unpleasant marijuana high, there are things you can do.

    Before we get there, though, you should know some “don’ts”: Don’t answer the phone unless you know who’s calling and want to talk. Don’t use a stove or drive a car. Don’t stare at yourself in a mirror or give yourself a haircut. And when your bad bout of highness is over, don’t neglect to google “Maureen Dowd Colorado” to confirm how not alone you are.

    Ahead, 10 tips that actually can help.

    *©2016 By David Schmader. All rights reserved. Excerpted fromWeed: The User’s Guide by permission of Sasquatch Books.

    Refinery29 in no way encourages illegal activity and would like to remind its readers that marijuana usage continues to be an offense under Federal Law, regardless of state marijuana laws. To learn more click here. This excerpt of Mr. Schmader’s book is not intended to and should not be construed to constitute professional medical or health advice. Always seek the advice of a qualified professional.

    1. Relax

    Remember how I said no one’s ever died from getting too high? It’s true. And you should ruminate on that fact as you take at least three deep breaths, slowly in and slowly out. You’re going to be fine. You just need to be patient and take care of yourself as you ride out your unpleasant — but not dangerous — high.

    Illustrated by Anna Sudit.

    2. Squeeze A Lemon

    One of the few things known to diminish extreme highness is limonene, a terpene that modulates THC’s effects on the brain and is conveniently found in lemons. Should you find yourself too high for your taste, squeeze juice from a fresh lemon, zest in a bit of peel, add as much sugar as necessary, and toss the whole thing down your throat. According to science, it should help.

    Illustrated by Anna Sudit.

    3. Smell Some Pepper

    Another terpene-based maneuver, this one involves beta-caryophyllene, a terpene found in black pepper that’s specifically cited for its ability to combat weed-based paranoia. To activate it, smash or grind a few fresh peppercorns, then get your nose down close and take a big whiff. Sneeze afterward if you must.

    Illustrated by Anna Sudit.

    4. Be Nice To Yourself

    Remind yourself that you’re in no danger and the state you’re in is temporary. Surround yourself with stuff that makes you feel safe. (If this means pajamas in bed, so be it.) Don’t fixate on your inability to think straight or berate yourself over a word you can’t remember — steer yourself toward things that make you feel secure.

    Illustrated by Anna Sudit.

    5. Take A Cold Shower

    This probably won’t feel so much like “being nice to yourself,” but there’s no denying the power of a cold shower to reboot a nervous system.

    Illustrated by Anna Sudit.

    6. Get Some Fresh Air

    Deep breaths are good, and deep breaths of fresh air are better. If you’re not up for taking a walk, open a window.

    Illustrated by Anna Sudit.

    7. Eat Something

    Aim for something substantial and nutritious: yogurt, fresh fruit, microwaved soup, healthy cereal.

    Illustrated by Anna Sudit.

    8. Drink Water

    Not only does it keep you hydrated, it also helps flush your system.

    Illustrated by Anna Sudit.

    9. Talk To Someone

    Have a trusted friend who’s familiar with weed? Sharing your too-high experience with someone who understands can help a ton. Ask for what you need, up to and including, “I need you to call me every 45 minutes to remind me that I’m fine until I tell you to stop.”

    Illustrated by Anna Sudit.

    10. Rest

    Lie down. Close your eyes. Get comfortable. Whether or not you actually doze is immaterial — just restricting your world to your bed or couch and the backs of your eyelids helps. Take deep breaths, following each breath in and each breath out.

    Illustrated by Anna Sudit.

    Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

    Kourtney Kardashian Is "So Up And Down" From Freezing Her Eggs

    Everyone's Areola Size Is Unique — Just The Way It Was Intended

    Why The Bets Around Meghan Markle Having Twins Aren't That Far-Fetched


    0 0

    We all have a pair of earrings we wouldn't mind wearing every single day. One that's been a crowd favorite since 2500 BC? Gold hoops. Whether worn close to the earlobes, as big as can be, or even doubled-up, you can count on these earrings to add a subtle statement to your outfit no matter the size or quantity. Their classic style with diverse nuances is what's made them go through generation to generation always feeling fresh, never antiquated. That's why, in our books, they're such a seasonless staple.

    Sure, you can associate the shine the gold radiates with much warmer and sunnier days, but that's why we'll be wearing them all through winter too (and beyond), because it's not like we're already counting how many days are left until spring (91 days, fyi). So, to keep our gold hoop repertoire ever growing we've rounded up 25 gold hoop earrings from brands we already love and new designers we can't wait to try.

    Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

    21 Capes That Will Instantly Make Your Outfit More Chic

    17 Plus-Size Party Dresses To Wear To Your Next Holiday Shindig

    Christmas Sweaters: The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly


    0 0

    If anyone knows how to get over a break-up, it's Ariana Grande. After her most recent heartbreak (a broken engagement to SNL cast member Pete Davidson), the 25-year-old singer dropped a new single, "Thank U, Next," which quickly went on to become her first number one debut. And just last week, she released a record-breaking music video to go along with it. For most people, that might be enough to replace memories of an ex, but for Grande it wasn't even close. At some point — off camera — she went and covered up the last remaining evidence of her former relationship with one sentimental foot tattoo.

    Over the weekend Grande and photographer Alfredo Flores dropped some behind-the-scenes footage from the set of the "Thank U, Next" music video. While the clips revealed sweet messages from Legally Blonde star Jennifer Coolidge and lots of Ari's dog, Toulouse, it also revealed some major news: Grande's newest tattoo is in honor of Mac Miller — or, more accurately, his dog.

    Although we can't be sure of when Grande got the new ink, we are sure she loves it. In the video (fast forward to 2:39), Grande is seen beaming over a tattoo that says "Myron," situated just below the front of her ankle. "I love my tattoos," Grande says. "I just went down to do the bend-and-snap and was like, 'Oh! What a foot!'" Fans immediately recognized Myron as the name belonging to Miller's dog, who Grande reportedly adopted not long after the rapper's death.

    The only thing more interesting than the fact that Grande now has a tribute to Miller inked on her body is that it doubles as a cover-up to a tattoo she got in July in honor of Davidson's late father. Already, Ariana hid both her hand and finger tattoos relating to her ex-fiancé, and the addition of "Myron" marks the removal of all evidence of Davidson (at least, in the form of permanent ink). In other words, that relationship is finally over.

    Don't worry, just because we no longer have to talk about their matching couple tattoos doesn't mean we won't be slightly concerned with their individual ones. After all, Davidson did just get Ruth Bader Ginsburg's face tattooed onto his chest. To be continued...

    Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

    Kim Kardashian Cried Over Kris Jenner's "Thank U, Next" Cameo

    How Much Does Cardi B’s Beauty Routine Cost? She Broke It Down — & It’s Staggering

    THIS Is Where You Should Get A Tattoo In New York City


    0 0

    Following the footsteps of Republicans in Ohio, an Oklahoma state senator has introduced a new bill that would make abortion a felony homicide punishable by life in prison.

    Senate Bill 13, sponsored by Republican Sen. Joseph Silk, gives fetuses equal protection under state laws and includes abortion in Oklahoma's definition of felony homicide. The legislation, dubbed the Abolition of Abortion in Oklahoma Act, makes no exceptions for cases of rape, incest, or danger to a woman's life. "It’s gonna be classified as a homicide because, essentially, a fertilized egg is a human life just like a 1-year-old baby is a human life," Silk told KFOR. "So, an abortion would be considered intentionally taking a human life."

    It also calls on the state of Oklahoma to ignore all federal rulings on abortion, including Roe v. Wade, the landmark 1973 decision that made it legal for women to chose an abortion. Not that it matters, since in the U.S. federal law supersedes state law.

    Oklahoma's SB13 is not the first unconstitutional legislation state representatives have been trying to implement this year. In Ohio, the state Legislature voted last month to ban abortion at six weeks, when most women don't even know they're pregnant. Some Ohio representatives also introduced legislation that would ban abortion entirely and could make the procedure punishable by the death penalty. Mississippi and Louisiana tried to ban abortion at 15 weeks, but a federal judge permanently struck down the former's law.

    Anti-choice politicians feel emboldened by the current administration and President Donald Trump 's promise to overturn Roe. After the confirmation of Justice Brett Kavanaugh, reproductive health advocates say conservative state legislatures are more likely to pass anti-abortion legislation with the hopes of challenging Roe.

    "We are gonna see a number of states, if not passing extreme abortion bans, [at least] debating them and seriously consider them in 2019. Most of the attention has been focused on the Supreme Court and passing restrictions that are unconstitutional right now, but could provide the court with the opening to undermine or overturn Roe," Elizabeth Nash, senior state issues manager at the Guttmacher Institute, told Refinery29 last month. "There are multiple opportunities for the courts to weigh in. It’s a very dangerous time, if you support abortion rights."

    In Oklahoma's case, however, Silk denied that SB13 is an attempt to bring a legal challenge to Roe. "The goal is to say we are a sovereign state and choose to abolish abortion," he told the local newspaper Tulsa World.

    Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

    Donald & Ivanka Trump Greeting Mohammed Bin Salman Causes Outrage

    George H. W. Bush, The 41st President, Has Died

    Dallas Police Officer Who Shot & Killed Botham Jean Indicted On Murder Charge


    0 0

    The word "nursery" tends to conjure up images of muted pastels, zoo animals, and lollipops. But unsurprisingly, given her penchant for bold fashion and design choices, Refinery29 global editor-in-chief Christene Barberich took a more unexpected approach when designing her newborn daughter, Rafaela "Raffi" Rose's first bedroom. With moody walls, graphic prints and throw pillows, and a hot pink velvet couch that announces "It's a girl!" in the coolest way possible, it feels like the kind of place we'd like to curl up in. And ultimately, shouldn't that be the point of a nursery?

    In a cover story for Domino magazine, Barberich — who recently released a home furnishings collaboration with The Inside — walks us through her process of crafting the space from a "quasi-laundry/guest room" in the Brooklyn Heights apartment she shares with her husband, architect Kevin Baxter. Ultimately, it was an exercise not just in blending whimsy with a bit of edge, but in making an 8-by-12 foot area feel like so much more. Small space dwellers, take note.

    "It's true," Barberich writes, "Nothing about this room screams typical nursery — in fact, if it weren’t for the sleek mini crib and bassinet, some colorful picture books, and a minimalist mobile, you might not realize that a baby resides here. But she does. And no doubt, she’ll continue to make it her own as she grows up and makes our space feel more like a home than ever before."

    Click over to Domino to read Christene's full essay, where she also talks superstition, her struggle with infertility, and why an IKEA sleeper sofa is her new mom must-have.

    Tibet Print Fabric, price varies, Clarence House. Hiline Sconce, $179, Human Home. Futura Natura Mobile, $80, Ole Flensted via MoMA Design Store. Smart Sleeper, $1,600, SNOO via Jet. Custom pillows, customized IKEA couch.

    Photography by Jessica Antola/Domino.

    Tabitha Flat-Weave Rug, $619, Aelfie. 22" Basket, $180, Bend Goods. Apple Pillow, $80, Oeuf via One Kings Lane. Custom rocking chair.

    Photography by Jessica Antola/Domino.

    Pitch Black Paint, price varies, Farrow & Ball. Zella the Zebra and Bailey the Bunny, $40 each Meridian. Eco-Friendly Contoured Changing Pad, $58, Oeuf. Custom cabinet.

    Photography by Jessica Antola/Domino.

    Woman Posing for Picasso print, $65, Alyson Fox. Gelato 2-in-1 Mini Crib, $269, Babyletto via Amazon. Tuxedo Mini Crib Sheet, $19, Babyletto. Black Cat Pillow $84, Oeuf via Garmentory. Birthday Cake Pillow, $90, Oeuf. Cross-Stitch Quilt, $85, Little Auggie. Waffle Blanket, $88, Meridian.

    Photography by Jessica Antola/Domino.

    Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

    The Best Daily Buys From Amazon's 12 Days Of Deals

    The 7 Small Space Mistakes You Don't Realize You're Making — & How To Avoid Them

    My Boyfriend & I Pay $4,000 In Rent — For 400 Square Feet & A Terrace Filled With Plants


    0 0

    After getting back from a trip, a friend of mine learned that her boyfriend had gone to a strip club and gotten a lap dance, which felt like a clear crossing of her boundaries within the relationship. The problem was that her boyfriend didn’t seem to think the strip club constituted a violation, wasn’t keeping it a secret, and was surprised by her reaction. After asking her about her relationship rules in their monogamous partnership, I realized that while this was a dilemma needing work, the real issue was that they had never had a conversation about what their boundaries even were.

    I’ve been there before, too. As someone who has been in both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships, I know that those of us who default to monogamous partnerships are not equipped to set our own relationship boundaries. Perhaps it’s because “exclusive” monogamous relationships are a cultural norm, but we far too often rely on what we think relationships are supposed to look like, instead of what would work for us personally. I blame Hollywood romantic comedies in part, but no one really ever teaches us how to negotiate boundaries and advocate for our needs.

    I am a person who has always felt somewhere between monogamous and non-monogamous, but my boyfriend leans closer to the monogamous side of the spectrum.

    While all relationships encounter difficulties and struggles, it’s so very important for you to consciously choose your own boundaries instead of simply following social scripts. In order to do this, you must first focus on identifying, communicating, and negotiating your desires, both with yourself and your partner.

    Monogamy and non-monogamy isn’t binary — we all fall somewhere along a spectrum. Perhaps your needs while together in the same city or state may differ greatly when one of you is traveling, or maybe your needs for romantic intimacy with others are different than your needs for sexual intimacy. Think of all your desires as they fit into different scenarios, and don’t limit yourself to just thinking about penetrative sex.

    My boyfriend and I live together, but I travel much more than he does. I am a person who has always felt somewhere between monogamous and non-monogamous, but my boyfriend leans closer to the monogamous side of the spectrum. And even with my knowledge as a sex educator, I have still felt anxiety around negotiating my needs. I fear suppressing my own non-monogamous needs in order to not cause “drama,” but I know I won’t be as good of a partner to him if I’m unable to explore these feelings to a certain degree, and he is understanding of that.

    I have lost count of how many conversations I’ve had with my current boyfriend, but I do remember some breakthrough moments. I’ll never forget how nervous I felt before I went on a long trip away from home for the first time after we began dating. I realized that what I really wanted was smooches, and other forms of physical intimacy that didn’t involve genital stimulation — like dancing!

    I presented him my needs, and we worked out what parameters made us both feel comfortable. We felt the same about many things: no intimacy with people in-state, BDSM stuff (without fluid exchange) is permitted and does not need a check-in, and playing with women and non-binary folks is cool. And when it came to sex with cis men, it wasn’t off the table, it would just require a conversation. While different rules for playing with different genders is often an unfair double standard, it was just what felt right for both of us.

    After establishing the things that were “yeses” and “nos,” I had even more questions! Did he want me to share with him about it? Was this a thing that was okay any time, or just when I was traveling? What if an out of state person came to our state? Did it matter if this person was a previous sweetie of mine? After running through all the details and hearing each other out, I felt a little funky due to the sheer candidness of the conversation, but also incredibly connected to and thoroughly prepared. And of course, we talked about his needs as well.

    At first, it’s going to be awkward. Talking through all your needs and asking questions about your partner’s needs may not feel comfy and cozy, but it’ll help you be on the same page. It may help to explore hypothetical scenarios, but don’t spend too much time ruminating on things that haven’t happened yet. Focus more on what your desires and boundaries are, and what your feelings are as you share with each other. This isn’t a conversation that is a one and done type of thing, either. It’ll probably be ongoing throughout your partnership with that person.

    After having negotiated relationship boundaries with my current boyfriend, I felt confident in knowing ways that I could explore my needs without fear of deceit. That didn’t mean feelings weren’t on the line — feelings can always happen — but at least I had a game plan.

    Non-monogamy isn’t better or more “evolved” than monogamy, and it certainly isn’t easier.

    Part of how I’ve learned to stand up for what I want and take inventory of my boyfriend’s feelings is by learning from my failures. In previous relationships, I felt guilty and suppressed my desires. I agreed to monogamous relationships for the sheer sake of not hurting my partner. In those relationships, I felt incredibly disconnected. No amount of love and attraction can erase the need for communication and negotiation.

    Non-monogamy isn’t better or more “evolved” than monogamy, and it certainly isn’t easier. All kinds of relationships experience issues. But for those of us who feel it aligns with our identity, it’s worth the struggles, awkward moments, and even the jealous ones. If we communicate and prepare ourselves for the bumps, instead of pretending they’ll never happen, we’ll be far more equipped to work our way through them.

    Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

    18 Booty Call Text Messages You Can Send Besides, "You Up?"

    How To Have Sex In Every Room In Your House

    Zara Larsson Wants People To “Have Sex” For World AIDs Day


    0 0

    Ivanka Trump is always worthy of a side-eye, whether she is defending or deflecting (just like her dad!) or greeting Mohammed Bin Salman (who reportedly ordered the death of journalist Jamal Khashoggi) at the G20 summit in Buenos Aires, Argentina. But Trump's latest blunder seems oblivious, even for her.

    On Friday, she attended an Argentinian gala wearing an ivory pantsuit designed by one of the Trump administrations' biggest and loudest detractors in the fashion industry, as CNN's White House reporter Kate Bennett first noted on Twitter. Designer Gabriela Hearst has not only refused to dress First Lady Melania Trump, but has spoken out against the president's immigration policies and his plan to defund Planned Parenthood. "If they want to wear the clothes, they can buy the clothes," Hearst told The Wall Street Journal in 2017a stance not unheard of when it comes to someone as divisive as FLOTUS.

    It's also interesting Ivanka is wearing this particular pantsuit, since it is part of a collection Hearst says was inspired by activists and left-leaning politicians like Angela Davis, Kamala Harris, and Tammy Duckworth. The designer described her inspiration to Yahoo! Style saying "before we were thinking about dressing Hillary and now it’s like, how do we bring Donald Trump down? Women that put their strength and their qualities in the service of others seemed like a good reference to keep us motivated." Hearst's collection is for women who are in the trenches doing the work.

    Could this be another instance of a woman in Trump's life using their clothing to take a jab at him, as Melania is rumored to do on occasion? Or perhaps Ivanka's only ask to her stylist for this gala's appearance was to wear a South American designer (Hearst was born and raised in Uruguay)? At a time when everything is political, it's hard to say it's just a pantsuit. However, one thing is clear: Like her stepmother, Ivanka has never shown any sort of solidarity, verbally or otherwise, to anyone besides her father, as she continues to stand by him.

    Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

    Here's Everything You Missed At The Versace Show In NYC Last Night

    Dolce & Gabbana Cancelled Shanghai Show Over Racist Comments

    The Top 10 Brands On Instagram This Year


older | 1 | .... | 3212 | 3213 | (Page 3214) | 3215 | 3216 | .... | 3259 | newer