When it comes to abusive relationships — whether it's physical, emotional, or any other form of domestic abuse — people often have one suggestion: Just leave. But it's not that simple.
Approximately 1 in 3 women, and 1 in 3 men in the United States will be in an abusive relationship in their lifetime, and just leaving the situation is not always an option.
"It’s important for people to understand that domestic violence relationships are incredibly complex, and there’s a lot of reasons someone might stay," says Katie Ray-Jones, chief executive officer at the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NVDH).
Ray-Jones says that the hotline hears from a lot of people who want to leave, but who have valid reasons for staying.
Ray-Jones notes that it takes a lot of courage to even to contact the hotline, and if you've never been in an abusive relationship, it's not fair to question someone's reasoning for staying. Instead, she says that it's important to support them without judging, whether they want to leave or not.
"Support networks are critical for lifting that person up," she says.
Ahead, Ray-Jones discusses some of the most common reasons a domestic violence survivor might not leave their relationship right away.
If you are experiencing domestic violence, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotlineat 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224 for confidential support.
Fear.
If someone is a survivor of physical domestic violence, they might fear what a partner might do if they leave, or find out that they're planning to leave. Last year, a report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that almost half of female murder victims are killed by an intimate romantic partner. In 29.7% of homicides related to domestic violence, an argument of some sort had occurred before the victim's death, the study found.
"We know statistically that when someone who’s in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship begins to plan their departure, once the perpetrator finds out, that can increase the volatility [of the situation]," Ray-Jones says. "It’s important that someone [in an abusive relationship] plans their departure safely."
illustrated by Tristan Offit.
There are children involved.
If someone has children with the abuser, Ray-Jones says that might increase the likelihood that they'll stay.
"Providing a two-parent home may be a priority for them," she says. "They might think the kids are not seeing the abuse, but we know oftentimes, they’re aware that there’s abuse happening."
Ray-Jones says that a lot of the time, domestic violence survivors may worry that they won't be believed, or that they'll even be blamed for what's happened to them.
"We rarely see people come forward and not have their character or reputation attacked," she says. "What we hear often from survivors is that they feel that somehow the abuse is their fault. We hear from so many [survivors] that their abusive partner is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde — they present this really great person outwardly, and behind closed doors, they become someone else. That makes the survivor internalize, 'he’s such a great guy to everyone but with me, he’s different, it must be something I'm doing wrong.'"
illustrated by Tristan Offit.
Love.
Ray-Jones says that a lot of times, abusive relationships start off pretty healthy with a lot of intimacy and positivity, and "the abuse seeps in slowly over time." She explains, "In between those abusive incidents, the abusive partner is still showing glimpses of the person they were when the survivor fell in love with them."
And while some survivors experience a cycle of abuse, where the relationship goes through a sequence of tension building (where a survivor feels like they're walking on eggshells around their partner), the abusive incident, then a honeymoon phase, it isn't always that predictable for others.
"Sometimes [survivors don't] have that honeymoon phase, so it [doesn't] really feel like a cycle anymore," Ray-Jones says. "Maybe there’s not a cycle, but there’s a lot of manipulation on the abusive partner’s part to make it feel like things are going to be different to keep a person engaged in the relationship."
As the NDVH website puts it, a survivor "may only want the violence to stop, not for the relationship to end entirely."
If someone has a disability, they might be physically dependent on a partner, and could be made to feel like their well-being depends on this person, despite any abusive behavior.
illustrated by Tristan Offit.
Lack of money and/or resources.
Ray-Jones says that the hotline often hears from survivors who are being financially abused, wherein their partners control their access to money, and therefore maintains more power over them.
"We’re hearing from survivors that perpetrators are ruining their credit, taking their access to money away and preventing them from establishing independence outside the relationship," she says. "They don’t have access to funds to seek legal service or their credit is ruined and they can’t get an apartment, so they don’t have the ability to break from the relationship."
illustrated by Tristan Offit.
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Welcome toMoney Diaries, where we're tackling what might be the last taboo facing modern working women: money. We're asking millennials how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we're tracking every last dollar.
Today: an executive assistant working in higher education who makes $56,000 per year ($131,000 when combined with her husband) and spends some of her money this week on a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte.
Occupation: Executive Assistant Industry: Higher Education Age: 33 Location: Los Angeles, CA My Income: $27.29/hour (~$56,000 annually) My Fiancé's Salary: $75,000 My Paycheck Amount (2x/month): $1,336.69 My Fiancé's Paycheck Amount (Biweekly): $1,648
Monthly Expenses Rent: $400 (I manage the property that we live in and my compensation is reduced rent. In L.A., this has meant the ability to pay down a lot of debt, afford an adult vacation that doesn't include traveling to see family, and build a three-month emergency fund.) Student Loan Payment: $105 for one private student loan and $236 for a public student loan FSA: $8.34 Health Insurance: $35 WorkParking: $41.50 (I try not to think about the fact that I have to pay to park at work.) Car Insurance: $160 Home Insurance: $17 Internet: $50 Electricity: Ranges between $110 in winter and $280 in the summer. (Damn you, global warming.) Gas: $25 Dental Insurance: $0 (This is paid for by my employer.) Cell Phone: $80 for both my fiancé and me. We use Cricket and are committed to buying our phones and not upgrading until they die. HBO & Hulu: $27 (We share with our family and mooch off my mom's Netflix.) Transportation: $70 for my fiancé's TAP card. (We paid off our car this year.) Therapy: $250 ($125 per visit for two visits a month) Retirement: $367.37 (My fiancé, N., also contributes 11% of his paycheck to his 401(k).) Gym Membership: $32 Fitness Classes: $100 Fun Money: I budget out $200 from each paycheck to spend on everything from clothes to coffee to makeup, and transfer the rest to our joint checking account so that I'm accountable to someone else (and don’t spend it). Savings: I typically commit $750 to savings and N. commits about $1,600, which we are using for an emergency fund that eventually will go toward saving up to have a baby.
Day One
5:20 a.m — My alarm goes off at 5:20. I'm working out with my personal trainer this morning. I snooze and will my eyes to open. My backup alarm goes off 10 minutes later. I'm surprised to see my fiancé, N., is already up and playing video games in the living room. (He says he couldn't sleep.) I make myself a cup of chai tea and complain for the next 45 minutes about not wanting to work out before I leave. I eat two light string cheese sticks in the car.
7:30 a.m. — I finish my workout and get ready in the locker room at the gym. I work out at the gym on campus, so the rest of my commute is a 10-minute walk to my office. I make myself a pita sandwich from leftovers from a catered training yesterday. It's super yummy, and best of all, free.
10 a.m. — I take a break and place an order on Amazon for a few things on my to-buy list: a manual can opener (our electric one broke), measuring spoons, and Olaplex. I am hoping the Olaplex helps. About a year and a half ago I had a bleach catastrophe at a learning salon and my hair basically turned into bubble gum and broke off. I have been trying to grow it out from a pixie cut for the last year and have taken a break from bleach, but I really miss being blonde! $57.06
11:30 a.m. — I order subs for my boss and pay ($20). She pays me back immediately. I get irritated because the delivery person can't find me for 15 minutes. I eat a boring late lunch of office leftovers including chicken, hummus, and pita bread. What can I say? It's free. ($20 expensed)
2 p.m. — I answer emails and work on reimbursements. I'm bored but I know I need to crank out at least another hour of work. I have a piece of chocolate cake stored away for later and tell myself that I am just bored and not hungry, so I don't eat it…yet.
3:30 p.m. — I request my medical records from a hospital that I had surgery at a couple years ago. I am feeling constantly tired and want to check to make sure my health history isn't causing my fatigue. I snack on way too many coconut curry chips
4:30 p.m. — I leave for the day and mostly avoid traffic on the way home. I am paid hourly and my boss doesn't like to pay me overtime, so I don't feel guilty when I leave early. When I get home, I take a power nap for 45 minutes and start a load of laundry. I text N. to switch the clothes over to the dryer when he comes home.
6:30 p.m. — I leave to walk to my Junior League meeting, since it's a mile away. The meeting is mostly just a get-to-know-you hangout in our neighborhood, and heavy snacks are provided. I eat two slices of Domino's pizza and delicious buffalo dip.
9 p.m. — I get a ride home from another member who lives down the street and since I am tired, decide to get ready for bed. My nighttime routine basically consists of me washing my face, brushing my teeth, and putting lotion and socks on my feet. And trying to remember to take my meds and putting my Invisalign in before I get into bed. I need to buy a new nighttime face cream but have been too cheap to do so yet.
Daily Total: $57.06
Day Two
6 a.m. — Ahhh why? My alarm goes off and I snooze it. I end up laying in bed for almost another hour. I make a cup of chai tea and look for something to eat for breakfast, but come up short so I head out the door. On the way out the door, I kiss N. goodbye and wish him a good trip. He has a short work trip and will be back on Friday, so I am flying solo for the next few days.
8 a.m. — I make it to work on time and finish up my leftovers from Monday. A nontraditional breakfast of pita, shawarma, and garlic sauce. I plug away on a few reimbursement requests, which makes the morning fly by.
10:30 a.m. — I check in with my friend to confirm movie plans for later on this week. We are both still free, and both sans partners for part of the week, so I purchase two tickets for Thursday to Crazy Rich Asians at iPic for my friend and me. $64
12:30 p.m. — I make lunch out of snacks and eat a sad lunch at my desk. Today it's a vanilla Pure Protein shake, and a maple donut One bar. I remind myself that I should eat more vegetables and that I need to go grocery shopping at some point. I have set up an appointment to program our call box and the time frame they quoted is between 11 a.m. and 3 p.m. I cross my fingers that it's toward the latter end so I can get as much work done as possible.
2:30 p.m. — I leave work early to get our car washed before heading home. We currently have a car wash subscription, but I realize it's really not necessary, so we're canceling. When I get home, I eat the piece of cake from yesterday. I meet the call box technician and he explains how I can program the call box in the future. I take video of him doing so so I can reference it later. I pay him for the programming and will write this expense off on my taxes. $194
6:30 p.m. — I head out to a Junior League training on Conflict, Competition, and Collaboration. The training isn't that great, but I meet a woman from my neighborhood who is also a new member, and we really click. We exchange numbers and make plans to grab coffee soon.
9 p.m. — I drive home, check my mail, and get ready for bed. I spend about 20 minutes reading on my phone. Earlier this year I deleted my Facebook and Instagram accounts, which has helped me avoid wasting too much time on my phone, especially in the morning and late at night, and has also proven helpful for my mental health.
Daily Total: $258
Day Three
5:30 a.m — I pull myself out of bed to workout. I am tired and the only reason I make it out of bed relatively quickly is because I know my trainer will be waiting for me at the gym in an hour. I listen to This American Life and eat two pieces of string cheese on the way to the gym, which is only 20-minute commute at 6 in the morning.
8 a.m. — At work, I make myself breakfast of a half cup of coffee with a pump of Coffee-Mate creamer, plain Greek yogurt, a plum, and honey. Work is very uneventful and I look around online for a while before digging into my to-do list.
12 p.m. — N. and I have been talking about going to Hawaii for years and finally purchased our tickets last week for a trip this winter! I find an Airbnb for $120 a night. After double checking with N., I reserve it and put down half of the payment. Then I make microwave a TJ's frozen meal for lunch and eat at my desk. $550.50
3:30 p.m. — I start to get hungry, and find leftover hummus and pretzels followed by coconut curry chips. A weird and unsatisfying snack. My boss is in meetings all afternoons so I unsuccessfully try to clear my inbox to stay busy.
6 p.m. — I meet my friend at the theater and we grab apps (mac and cheese fries) at the attached bar before heading into our movie. I am so glad I splurged on the reclining seats that include a blanket. We both order dessert to eat during the movie (ice cream cookie sandwich for her and s'mores cake for me). She pays since I purchased our tickets.
9:30 p.m. — The movie was so good! I can't remember the last time I was in a movie theater, and make a mental note to go more often. I validate my parking and head home. I'm tired, but my Amazon order arrived today and I want to sleep with Olaplex in my hair! I flip through a few emails and write my (almost) nightly gratitude list. I send it off to my friends, who send me theirs as well. $3.30
Daily Total: $553.80
Day Four
6 a.m. — My first alarm goes off and N. isn't around to annoy, so I hit snooze for the next hour. I finally pull myself out of bed when I realize I have to wash my hair. I grab a LaCroix and make it out the door by 7:05. I listen to the Bad With Money podcast on my way to work and call my mom on my walk through campus. She's booked a ticket I found ($100 roundtrip!) for her to visit me in December while N. is in China for his “Bachelor Trip,” which in reality is just him and a friend exploring Shanghai together.
7:25 a.m. — I arrive to campus slightly late. I show up at my volunteer shift and they are inundated with volunteers being trained. I grab two nut and fruit packs and get a cup of coffee as I get through my first task.
9 a.m. — I find out that my second task of the day is essentially monitoring a room and I have an hour of downtime, so I hammer out work emails and sign up for another class through ClassPass. (I am using a free trial month.) I message the women in Junior League to ask if anyone wants to come to a class with me, but there are no takers.
10:30 a.m. — I browse Amazon and save a couple pairs of sweatpants in my cart, but I decide not to buy anything, reminding myself that I only have about $100 in fun money to last me the next ten days.
12:30 p.m. — I am starving but am supposed to go directly to another volunteer shift. I ask to eat lunch instead, and they have more than enough volunteers, so I am free. I grab my free lunch of turkey sandwich, fruit, farro salad, and Nutter Butters. My boss stops by and I actually get face time with her for the first time since Tuesday.
1:30 p.m. — After several weeks of being too lazy to walk the 10 minutes to the gym during the day, I cancel my membership so I can reallocate the $50 monthly fee to ClassPass instead. I am currently working out with a trainer and once my sessions are over I'm not sure if I will keep working out with him or save that money for other goals instead. My trainer offers an education discount of $30/hour session, which is hard to beat.
5 p.m. — I head out of work, grab my change of clothes, and head to a Yin/Yang yoga class. I barely make it on time because of L.A. traffic, but am happy to get a workout in. The class is a little weird — the instructor brought her guitar and sang at the end. When I leave class, I find out that N.'s flight was cancelled, so he won't be home until tomorrow. I am bummed that I won't see him tonight but happy that it buys me extra time to live my foul bachelorette frog life (a.k.a. leaving my things all over the house).
6:30 p.m. — I get home and make myself “dinner” out of pretzel chips, hummus, LaCroix, and a quarter of a chocolate bar. Another reminder to meal prep and grocery shop. I also cave and buy the Money Diaries book because let's be honest, I know I am going to love it. An hour later, I decide it's as good time as any to start Insecure. I binge three episodes before my computer dies and I head to bed. $13.38
Daily Total: $13.38
Day Five
9 a.m. — Yassss! Saturday. I make oatmeal with cranberries and top it with honey from my dad's bee farm. After I eat, I scramble to pick up all of the shit that I have left around the apartment and shower. N. gets home and I am so excited to see him. I smother him with kisses.
10 a.m. — N. is hungry because he didn't eat breakfast and is craving a bagel. I want to get steps in, so I head to the grocery store. I pick up a few other staples to get us through the weekend including a frozen pizza, garlic knots, and $20 for quarters to start our laundry. $45
11 a.m. — I return home and start laundry. (I wash while N. folds/puts away.) N. eats brunch and I eat a Cashew Cookie Larabar. We watch half of Kindergarten Cop. Believe it or not, I have never seen it before!
12:30 p.m. — I get a call from one of my tenants that there is a homeless person in our garage. I find out that he stole a tire pressure gauge from one of my tenant's vehicles, and then threw it at a neighbor who confronted him. I see the person in front of our building and tell him that he can't enter our garage and he flips me the bird. I call the cops and feel shitty about the situation.
1 p.m. — I have plans to get a pedicure with my friend. She picks me up and I get a latte ($5 plus $1 tip). Sadly we have to try three nail places before we find one that is open and will take us, and we get split up at the salon. We take time to catch up while our nails dry and she asks me to go over my bachelorette plans for Palm Springs next weekend and takes on some planning responsibilities, which I am so grateful for. ($31 for my pedicure with tip.) $37
3 p.m. — N. and I have sex and it is good. We have been trying to aim for more than one time a week, but we always end up being tired after work. I guess this is just where we are in our lives.
6 p.m. — N. and I try to go out for a dinner date at least once a week. It's his turn to pick and he chooses an Indonesian place nearby. We order kroket, nasi lemak, and nasi goreng jawa fried rice. $55
7:30 p.m. — I FaceTime with my mom and find out my parents' German Shepherd is having puppies! There are five so far. They are cute but whiny, and frankly, it seems like a lot of work. After catching up with my family, I settle further into the couch and finish the first season of Insecure and N. heads out on an ice cream run. $10
9 p.m. — I do a little clean up around the house and wipe down the kitchen countertops. I also iron a few shirts that I want to try to consign. Last month I made about $50 by consigning items at a local store, which I ended up spending in-store on a vintage beaded dress for an unknown future occasion. I love the 50s/60s aesthetic and am slowly cultivating a collection of beaded silk pieces. I head to bed around 10:30 and N. tucks me in and then stays up a couple more hours playing video games.
Daily Total: $147
Day Six
9 a.m. — I wake up to a text that my parents' dog had 11 puppies! I FaceTime them and warm up the rest of the leftovers from our date last night and share with N.
10:30 a.m. — N. and I both decide we are tired and go back to sleep. We wake up again at noon.
12:15 — We head out to therapy but stop at Starbucks on the way. I get a tall PSL with an extra shot and N. gets a grande java chip frap (no whip). I hate the long drive, but love our therapist. Our relationship is so strong because we put in so much effort, including going to therapy twice a month. $9.22
2 p.m. — The session is helpful, though per usual, I cry about work. We talk about my job and how it's disappointing and draining. It's really helpful to talk about how our individual goals/hopes/disappointments/dreams affect our relationship. We pay out of network ($125).
3:45 p.m — I meal prep — hard-boiled eggs in my Instant Pot and a big batch of tuna salad with leftovers from the fridge (celery, onion, mayo, salt and pepper) that I can take it to work for lunch tomorrow. N. has free meals and snacks at work so I only need to worry about feeding myself.
5:15 p.m. — I pack my car with Goodwill donations, mostly clothes and old homeware items. I used to shop at Goodwill all the time, but now that I make more money and am busier I don't do it as much. I wear a size 14/16, so it's harder to find things that fit.
6:30 — I take a meditation class through ClassPass. The theme of the meditation is Autumn Equinox. I briefly drift off during the class but finish by focusing on the question: “What do you want to harvest for the rest of the year?” — a question that I need to think about more.
7 p.m. — I ask N. if he wants froyo and he texts me back that he needs it. So I head to my new favorite spot, The Bigg Chill. The texture of their froyo is unlike anything I have ever tasted. I get the honey Greek yogurt with cookie dough and mochi. $15
7:30 p.m. — I come home and start watching Phenomenon. I guess I'm into 90s movies right now. I eat half my froyo and save the other half for tomorrow. N. unloads the dishwasher and sweeps our floors. I read the first couple of chapters of the Money Diaries book before turning in for the night at 9.
Daily Total: $24.22
Day Seven
6:30 a.m. — I roll out of bed after hitting the snooze button at least twice. I shower quickly and make a chai tea and eat a cherry pie Larabar.
7 a.m. — Yesterday the tire pressure light in our car made itself known and it's worrying me. N. takes the car in to make sure our tires are fully inflated and don't have a leak. Allegedly they don't, so we don't have to buy a new tire today. N. and I share a car, so I catch a ride from a colleague/friend who lives a couple of blocks away. I could Lyft, but she saves me $20 and we get to catch up!
8 a.m. — I get to work on time and start working on a to-do list for the week. I find that when I take an hour to make a list, my whole week goes better and I don't miss as many details.
9 a.m. — N. has a dentist visit today and gets a report that he has very healthy teeth. I roll my eyes since this is the first time he has been to the dentist in over five years for a cleaning! I guess he is lucky/genetically blessed. Our insurance pays for dental, so it's free. I get hungry and grab a snack of plain cottage cheese.
10 a.m. — I make a few calls for my apartment. One of my tenants has a bug issue that needs to be addressed, so I call pest control and make an appointment for tomorrow. A transient person has been breaking into our apartment and stealing our mail, so I also ask our handyman to order new locks for the mailboxes.
12:30 p.m. — I make myself a sandwich from the tuna I prepared yesterday.
2 p.m. — I take a break to check my bank account and read a couple of articles on NPR and Buzzfeed. I snack on two hard-boiled eggs. It's not a very exciting food day.
5:30 p.m. — I heat up a Lean Pocket and eat that at my desk. (Don't hate, it's actually really good.) I have my first Human Resources class tonight, which I am taking using my professional development funds. Around 6, I leave my office and walk 20 minutes across campus to class. The weather is gorgeous and it's about as fall-like as L.A. will get. Sadly this is my only form of exercise today.
9:30 p.m. — N. picks me up and we head home. It's nice to catch up on the car ride. He was asked to create and present more trainings on diversity and inclusion at work, which he is very passionate about. I tell him about my class, which is mostly good. I find out I need to buy a book, which I wasn't planning on, so I add that to my to-do list for tomorrow.
10 p.m. — I eat the rest of my froyo and watch an episode of Insecure before brushing my teeth and heading to bed.
Daily Total: $0
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First daughter and senior White House advisor Ivanka Trump has always loved to dress up — and not just for Halloween. From her teenage modeling career to that time she put on a lab coat and goggles just for fun to tour a science facility, she provides no shortage of costume inspiration.
With Halloween coming right up, we combed through Ivanka's history and found some of her most memorable costumes from over the years. Whether she's dressed as a superhero or channeling her dad in a wig, playing pretend seems to be one of her favorite activities.
Ahead, see Ivanka's costumes from years past.
1995
Ivanka cosplays at a benefit gala.
Photo: Ron Galella, Ltd./WireImage/Getty Images.
1997
Modeling for Thierry Mugler. Fashion as Halloween inspiration?
Photo: Pool ARNAL/Getty Images.
2008
Ivanka channels a Greek goddess at a masquerade gala.
Photo: Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images.
2008
A subtle take on the theme "Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy" at the Met Gala. (P.S. Anna Wintour has said she'd never invite Ivanka's father back.)
Photo: Randy Brooke/Getty Images.
2012
Ivanka shared this #tbt of herself as Catwoman.
2015
Backstage at Saturday Night Live as her dad. We don't know whether to laugh or cry.
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First lady Melania Trump once again shattered the illusions that she's secretly a member of the Resistance™ with her comments on the #MeToo movement and when it's okay for sexual assault survivors to report their assailants.
During the interview, her first one since becoming first lady, Trump was asked whether she thinks that alleged abusers have been treated unfairly.
"We need to have a really hard evidence that, you know, if you’re accused of something, show the evidence," she replied, adding, "I do stand with women, but we need to show the evidence. You cannot just say to somebody, you know, 'I was sexually assaulted' or 'You did that to me,' because sometimes the media goes too far and the way they portray some stories, it’s not correct, it’s not right."
WATCH: One-on-one with First Lady @MelaniaTrump. She's opening up for the first time about her life and her time in the White House to @TomLlamasABC.
When I turned 18 years old, I bought my first scratch-off lottery ticket and the Applebee’s staff sang me happy birthday. It wasn’t my most glamorous celebration, to say the least. But for Tarte’s 18th year, the brand is throwing its version of a birthday bash with a huge sale.
Yesterday, Tarte announced a 24-hour sale on its cult-favorite Shape Tape concealer, and now a bunch of new products have been added to the party mix. For today only, you can snag a variety of color-correcting palettes, limited-edition vaults, lipsticks, and brush sets for up to 70% off.
The party can't last forever though, and these specific deals disappear at midnight. So, we suggest getting your debit card ready quick to stock up and save money. But keep your eyes peeled for more surprise discounts, because the brand will unveil a new steal every day this week. To help you sift through all the goods, we rounded up a few of our favorite picks ahead. So, go ahead, take that "lunch break" today and go party shopping.
At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.
Gift-giving season is creeping up, so use this sale as an opportunity to pick up gifts early. This vault comes with a full-size brush set, concealer, and an eyeshadow palette. Grab one for your best friend (...and one for yourself).
Tarte Shape your money maker vault, $49, available at Tarte
Toss this dual-ended brush in your bag for when you need to contour and conceal on the go.
Tarte Powder foundation brush removable blending sponge, $17, available at Tarte
Something about the colorful fins and mermaid tails make these brushes fun to use.
Tarte Minutes to mermaid brush set, $21, available at Tarte
The only thing better than a set of quality makeup brushes on sale is a set of makeup brushes on sale and covered in glitter. This five-piece set has all the essentials for a flawless base.
Tarte Goal getters contour brush set, $25, available at Tarte
This color-correcting kit has all the shades you need to correct dark circles, conceal pimples, and contour your cheeks.
Tarte Limited-edition wipeout color-correcting palette, $26, available at Tarte
Summer might be gone, but your cheekbones can shimmer forever. Just dust on one (or all three) of these shades to make your skin glow.
Tarte Skin twinkle lighting palette, $21, available at Tarte
If you're hanging on to your vacation glow, this kit comes with mini versions of everything you need to make it last well into Winter.
Tarte Girls just wanna have sun bronze & sun , $10, available at Tarte
The time to stock up on fall lipstick colors is now. These are super creamy and rich in pigment, but will stay put on your lips for hours.
Tarte Color splash lipstick, $15, available at Tarte
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Fresh off of its insanely popular collaboration with J.W. Anderson, Uniqlo is keeping up the momentum with its latest designer partnership. On Wednesday, Alexander Wang revealed his new intimates collection with Uniqlo, telling Vogue he's always bought "socks, underwear, those everyday essential items," from the retailer. "It’s not fussy, it’s pure, there’s quality to it," he says of Uniqlo's offering.
Come November 9, Wang will be adding his own not-fussy, quality pieces to Uniqlo's range. It all started as a way to marry Uniqlo’s special Heattech fabric with underwear. "Heattech is a program created out of innovation, function, and utility," the designer said. "It’s something that I’ve always been very inspired by, by the advancement and innovation in fabrication. I wanted to think about it in a way where even if it wasn’t just worn on the inside — if you wore it as a top as something to lounge around in — you feel like there’s a style, an aesthetic that could stand on its own."
The collection is a full circle moment for the designer, who actually used to work at Uniqlo before launching his namesake brand. He stayed in touch with Uniqlo’s CEO and president Tadashi Yanai, who told Wang the two could connect when he had an idea. And now, that idea has come to fruition.
Wang's collection of bodysuits, tees, leggings, bras, and briefs for men and women is made with Uniqlo’s Heattech fabric and is priced between $15 and $40. The products will come in neutral colors, as well as a surprise shade, neon green — which is Wang's favorite color. "The thing that I love about these pieces is that they can really be worn on so many different occasions," he said. "Wear the bra top with a high-waisted jean and a denim jacket,” he suggests. "Or maybe just the bra on its own?"
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In our seriesMy 6-Figure Paycheck, women making more than $100,000 open up about how they got there and what exactly they do. We take a closer look at what it feels like to be a woman making six-figures —when only 5% of American women make that much, according to theU.S. Census— w ith the hope it will give women insight into how to better navigate their own career and salary trajectories.
Job: Associate Attorney, Real Estate Age: 28 Location: Orange County, California Degree: Bachelor's Degree, Juris Doctor Degree First Salary: $41,000 Salary: $105,000
As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
"I wanted to be a baker — specifically, a donut maker for some reason. That dream was somewhat short-lived though, primarily due to the fact that I really liked school and wanted to do something a bit more analytic. Although now I bake for my coworkers all the time! I've gotten fairly popular around the office."
What did you study in college?
"I have a B.A. from UC Santa Barbara in Political Science and a J.D. from Chapman University School of Law."
Did you have to take out student loans? If so, how much were they for and how long did it take you to pay them off?
"I had about $225,000 when I graduated law school in 2014. My interest rates went all the way up to 8%. Thankfully, I refinanced at a 2.9% fixed, and I'm down to about $160,000 now. My husband and I pay at least $2,050 every month and most months we put another $500 and the occasional larger payment whenever can. The goal is to finish these off within 6 more years."
Have you been working at this job since you graduated college?
"I went straight into law school after undergrad, and then started at my current job about 6 months after graduating law school, so technically yes. Although I clerked and interned at a couple of places while I was in my second and third year of law school."
How would you explain your day-to-day role at your job?
"The large objective is managing a case load. So, what that means is making sure all of your cases are progressing the way they are supposed to be, and that no deadlines are missed. More specifically, what that means is preparing a general litigation strategy on a case-by-case basis, drafting motions and discovery, communicating regularly with clients (huge), negotiation and appearing at Court Hearings."
Did you negotiate your salary?
"I did negotiate on my 2016 annual review. They offered me $90,000; I asked for $100,000 and we compromised in the middle at $95,000. Ultimately, I chose not to negotiate for my 2017 review because I was a bit short of my billable hours (kind of important for an attorney) and I felt that their offer was fair, and I did not feel I was in the best place to negotiate.
"I’m on track to hit my hours this year so I definitely will negotiate. As long as you’re not being unreasonable, it doesn’t hurt to ask for more. If you have the justification for it, odds are you will end up with something more than you started with."
Is your current job your “passion?” If not, what is?
"Yes and no, I really do love being a lawyer, and I love litigating, I know that is my passion. However the specific industry that I work in is probably not my "passion" although I'm not sure what is! I've stayed at my current job for so long because I love the people, the flexible hours, and my boss. So I'm definitely not looking to leave anytime soon."
If you could, would you change anything in your career trajectory?
"Besides making partner, there really isn't a lot of opportunity for 'promotion' in this industry. Yes, I get annual raises, but my day-to-day responsibilities don't change much. I think having more short-term goals would really be beneficial."
What professional advice would you give your younger self?
"Try harder in undergrad. That is my one major regret. I attended UCSB, a huge party school, and really half-assed my studies there because it was so easy for me to get Bs and not go to class. I didn't see the point in trying harder.
"My undergrad GPA was good enough to get me in to law school, but not good enough for any sort of scholarship. I had a good LSAT score, so if I had a better GPA I could have definitely gotten a scholarship. Had I tried harder, I would have definitely had less student loans to deal with now."
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If you are thinking about suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the Suicide Crisis Line at 1-800-784-2433.
In the powerful essay, co-written with World Health Organization director-general Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus and published by The Guardian on Tuesday, she discussed the importance of fighting against worldwide suicide rates.
"Suicide is the most extreme and visible symptom of the larger mental health emergency we are so far failing to adequately address," the essay reads. "Stigma, fear and lack of understanding compound the suffering of those affected and prevent the bold action that is so desperately needed and so long overdue."
Gaga and Ghebreyesus cite the statistic that 800,000 people around the world will likely die by suicide this year, writing, "Sometimes they are famous names such as Anthony Bourdain or Kate Spade that make headlines, but they are all sons or daughters, friends or colleagues, valued members of families and communities."
Earlier this year, a study from the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS) found that in the last decade, the number of people who die by suicide in the U.S. has increased — particularly among women. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the U.S., and each year, 44,965 Americans die by suicide.
"We can no longer afford to be silenced by stigma or stymied by misguided ideas that portray these conditions as a matter of weakness or moral failing," Gaga and Ghebreyesus' essay continues. "We can all help to build communities that understand, respect and prioritize mental wellness. We can all learn how to offer support to loved ones going through a difficult time. And we can all be a part of a new movement – including people who have faced mental illness themselves – to call on governments and industry to put mental health at the top of their agendas."
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Whether you already have a shiny red Macy's credit card buried somewhere in your wallet, or you can't remember the last time you stepped foot through the sliding glass doors of a department store, let us remind you: Macy's has the deals. And it's more than just 70% off leather crossbody bags and cast iron cookware — the beauty selection is fresh.
Starting Friday, you can get half off the makeup and skin-care products we all know and love both online and in Macy's stores. It's all a part of the retailer's huge "10 Days of Glam" blowout sale. Every day, from October 12 through the 21, you can get your favorite beauty buys for the low, like a Sunday Riley skin-care kit (which is just $30 — the lowest we've ever seen a C.E.O. serum), Too Faced Better Than Sex mascara, Benefit's Hoola Bronzer, and much more. Scroll through the full list of name brand finds on super sale next week, ahead.
At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.
October 12
This eyeshadow palette includes all the golden, rust red, and shimmery brown shades that you'll be seeing everywhere this fall.
Tarte Tartelette Toasted Eyeshadow Palette, $19.5, available at Macy's
October 13
Maybe you never thought you needed a mascara with an ergonomic, curved wand. But the 477 commenters on the Macy's site say you do, claiming this funky tube is 100% worth the regular $32 price tag. That means it's a steal at $16.
Lancôme Grandiose Extreme Mascara, 0.35 oz, $16, available at Macy's
Philosophy Purity Made Simple Pore Extractor Mask, 2.5 oz, $17.5, available at Macy's
October 15
If you have dry skin or you're expecting a wave of dullness in the upcoming months, you should grab this moisturizing plus brightening Sunday Riley C.E.O. set — for just $30.
Sunday Riley 3-Pc. C.E.O. Vitamin C Set, $30, available at Macy's
October 16
The jury is still out as to whether or not this mascara lives up to its n ame, but it definitely makes our lashes full and luscious, which is not nothing.
Too Faced Better Than Sex Mascara, $12, available at Macy's
October 17
Everyone's favorite bronzer is on super sale, and just in time, because our skin's no longer naturally sun-kissed and we don't want anyone to notice.
Benefit Cosmetics Hoola Matte Box O' Powder Bronzer, $15, available at Macy's
October 18
A longtime favorite, this orange peel-off mask by Origins is infused with an illuminating ginseng and caffeine blend that gives a zesty burst of energy and works like an at-home brightening treatment.
Origins GinZing Peel-Off Mask, $14, available at Macy's
October 19
This face cleanser is a classic because it removes makeup better than any wipe, but it's gentle enough to be slathered on the most sensitive skin without irritating that precious moisture barrier.
Clinique Liquid Facial Soap, Mild - 6.7 oz, $9.25, available at Macy's
We're all for happy hour deals and late-night karaoke, but as much fun as going out may be, as the temps get cooler, nothing beats a night in. Still, that doesn't have to mean a Friday night spent solo; it's about crafting the perfect night at home with friends. Whether it's a candlelit homemade dinner, a game night around the coffee table, or a Netflix binge sesh with mulled cider, our most beloved fall pastimes are finally here — and they're so much better than hanging out in cramped bars.
In order to get you ready for a season full of hosting, we partnered with CB2 and rounded up our favorite night-in essentials: from diffusers and marble candles that create an intimate ambiance to lush decor like velvet floor cushions and faux-fur throws. Click ahead to find out how to take your average night in to the next level.
While pumpkin spice is ubiquitous this time of year, that sugary sweetness doesn't always work well for a home fragrance. Instead, give your apartment a cozy, fall scent with this wood stick diffuser that's full of fruity, earthy notes like juicy pomegranate, pink pepper, and spicy wood.
Jo Malone Pomegranate Noir Scent Surround Diffuser, $98.00, available at Nordstrom.
We’ve spilled far too much red wine to know that it’s the last thing you want to get all over your white faux-sheepskin rug. So instead of using long-stemmed wine glasses that tip over way too easily, opt for a shatterproof stemless variety. This set comes with thumb notches on the side for even more anti-spill assurance. Consider your white upholstery safe for the night.
Govino Shatterproof Plastic Wine Glasses, Set of 4, $12.95, available at Wine Enthusiast.
Switch out those beer koozies from your college game days for something a little more adult-ish. These coasters feature mango-wood stumps surrounded with resin, adding a touch of formality without looking like you took a design note from your pretentious aunt. No need to worry about sloppy water rings damaging your furniture. (Even if your coffee table is still from your college days. Baby steps.)
CB2 Hole In One Resin Coasters, Set of 4, $24.95, available at CB2.
The only thing worse than eating soggy buttered popcorn is accidentally chomping down on an unpopped kernel and breaking a tooth. So before you hit play on that Netflix teen rom-com, make sure to pour your popcorn in this glazed stoneware bowl, and sift away the kernels. Your dentist will thank you.
Mudshark Studios The Popcorn Bowl with Kernel Sifter, $75.00, available at Uncommon Goods.
Endless seating options for all your guests would be a dream, but the reality is that your one-bedroom apartment probably doesn't fit much more than a loveseat and mayyybe an ottoman. So instead of borrowing your neighbor's ugly folding chairs, go for these comfy velvet floor cushions. At the end of the party, you can stow them away in a closet or leave them on the floor for a little bohemian-inspired decor.
World Market Chartreuse Velvet Tufted Floor Cushion, $44.99, available at World Market.
Most party games these days involve decks of cards with fill-in-the-blanks or funny memes, but our tried-and-true favorite is a tumbling tower. It's a nostalgia-filled game that can easily get an adult upgrade with bets and prizes. Bonus: This ombre acrylic tower is a great piece of decor when not in use, unlike your average board game.
CB2 Acrylic Tumbling Tower, $69.95, available at CB2.
Even if the fanciest cheese you have on hand is a wheel of supermarket Brie, that doesn't mean you can't act like you found it at a Parisian cheese shop. Dress it up with pairings like rice crackers, salted almonds, and fresh-cut apple slices, and serve them all on a handmade wood tray. This ornately carved variety makes everything look a million times more luxe. Plus, you can easily wash off the cheese crumbs and reuse it when it's time to bring out coffee and dessert.
Hill Picket Studio Monduff Cheese Board, $145.00, available at The Citizenry.
Set the mood for the evening without setting your home on fire. These white and gray marble pillar "candles" are remote controlled and completely flame-free, so you can place them all around and not have to worry about fire safety when one of your friends accidentally knocks one over during a rambunctious round of charades.
Lights.com Vena Marble Pillar Candles, Set of 2, $30.00, available at Lights.com.
Sage cleansing is a great self-care activity to do in a larger group, whether you're ridding yourself of that person who ghosted you or just looking for a quick moment of mental clarity. Light one end of the bundle until it smokes, and then use your hand to wave the smoke throughout your space. Breathe in deeply as you banish all the negative vibes.
CB2 Juniper Ridge Sage Smudge Stick, $10.95, available at CB2.
There's a good chance you don't have the luxury of a wood-burning fireplace in your home, but that shouldn't stop you from enjoying some old-fashioned s'mores. Gather the party around your stovetop, and whip out this artisanal kit: complete with vanilla-bean marshmallows, handcrafted honey graham crackers, and decadent pure milk chocolate.
Ticket Chocolate Artisan S'mores Kit, $20.00, available at Terrain.
No night in is complete without throw pillows and blankets — especially those of the faux fur variety. This one, with soft dark-blue fur on one side and a silky-smooth underside, feels like it could belong in the bedroom of a certain Duchess of Cambridge. Throw it on your couch, drape it on your dining chairs, or lay it out on the floor with a few of those floor cushions for an added layer of coziness.
Project 62 Mongolian Faux Fur Throw Blanket, $34.99, available at Target.
Whether you're mixing up a brew of chai hot toddies or setting out all the fixings for a hot chocolate bar, you're going to want to have these mugs on hand. The marbled clay is a simplistic yet chic design that's perfect for a casual gathering. And after the party ends, keep them in the kitchen for some Instagrammable breakfast moments.
While no two bosses are the same, what's true across industries is that a good boss — one who's always supportive of your development and pushes you to do your best — is hard to find. (Also probably true across industries is that it's always awkward running into your boss in the bathroom. But that's beside the point.)
Managing people is no small task, and it's important to let our bosses know that we appreciate the behind-the-scenes work they do for us every day. So in honor of Boss's Day on October 16, we're rounding up the best gifts to get for every kind of boss — from the coffee lover to the disorganized to the one with the sweet tooth — that can serve as a unique token of your appreciation without breaking the bank. No "World's Best Boss" trophies, please!
For The Coffee-Loving Boss
If your boss reaches for a paper cup every morning before hitting the office coffee machine, this is the option for you. It's eco-friendly, makes for a cute desk accessory, and comes with a personalized touch.
Anthropologie Tiled Margot Monogram Mug, $10, available at Anthropologie
For The Disorganized Boss
These colorful lucite blocks can be stacked, laid flat, or staggered, and will add a sweet pop of color to an otherwise bland desk. If your boss has drawers of cluttered odds and ends, this should be your gift of choice. And if you're really feeling generous, offer to organize them for your boss. That's a gift they will not soon forget it!
Bando flash tidy acrylic trays - set of 3, $36, available at Bando
For The Boss Who Likes Plants But Lacks A Green Thumb
The Sill Echeveria Lola, $29.5, available at The Sill
For The Boss Who Likes Stuff That Smells Good
This candle comes in a bunch of different scents and looks more expensive than its price point. If you're unsure of your boss's scent preference, lavender is a safe bet. Or opt for the mini version if you're looking to spend less.
Voluspa Limited Edition Voluspa Cut Glass Jar Candle, $28, available at Anthropologie
For The Well-Hydrated Boss
This Swell bottle is great for a boss on-the-go who is fluttering between meetings all day. If she doesn't have time to drink her iced coffee until afternoon, good news! This bottle will keep her drink cold for 24 hours. And it comes in so many chic designs you literally can't go wrong.
S'well Calacatta Gold Traveler, $35, available at Swell
For The Boss With Dry Hands
Winter is coming. We're gearing up for cold, folks, which means radiators, parkas, and wind chill. Also, cracked hands. This Kai hand lotion literally smells like Hawaii, and your boss will thank you for it later.
Kai Hand Cream (2 fl oz.), $19, available at DermStore
For The Boss With A Sweet Tooth
If you know your boss is partial to chocolate, here's a sophisticated option that's almost too pretty to eat. (Except it should be eaten, because these are delicious.) Or opt for a single bar with hand-painted packaging like this one, which is a cheaper option that's nice enough to gift on its own.
Compartes Gourmet Chocolate Truffles Luxury Chocolates Gift Box, $29.95, available at Compartes
For The Boss Who Always Forgets What Day It Is
If your boss is the type who never knows her schedule for the day, and needs you to tell her which meeting is when and where — this is the gift for you. It's pretty, sleek, and will keep her oriented. (Or at least will keep her from falling too far behind. You might still have to point her in the direction of her conference meeting, though.) Or opt for this one if she's in need of something more heavy-duty.
Poketo 2019 Mini Art Calendar, $12, available at Poketo
For The Boss Whose Phone Is Always Dying
Getting your boss a new phone charger from the Apple Store might come off as a passive aggressive. (Subtext: "Hey, here is a gift so that you stop borrowing my phone charger.") But getting your boss a chic little cute one like this is thoughtful, practical, and benefits you. Who's the boss now?
ban.do back me up! iphone charging cord - metallic gold, $18, available at Bando
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We thought this time would never come, but here we are. The reign of floppy, hipster-style beanies is done. No more holding onto your winter hats for dear life every time a burst of wind blows by. No more twinning with men with buns in their hair wearing wire-rimmed glasses, that, to no surprise, aren't prescription. Instead, the one thing we need when the weather drops and our ears are particularly freezing, utility, is back in style. And we're pleased to say, it looks pretty cute.
Despite it being seriously early in the season to shake the dust off of your beanie collection, we're already seeing tons of brands release new styles. And from what we're seeing, there's one beanie just waiting to win over our chilly little hearts: fishermen hats. Usually folded over with a little bit of a cropped look, they're basically the no-frills winter hats we've been waiting for. Whether you're bringing neon with you into the cold-weather months or prefer to stick with accessories of the more subtle variety, the 17 beanies ahead will keep you warm all season long.
At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.
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Months of erratic social-media activity from Brandon Truaxe, the founder of the wildly successful beauty startup Deciem, came to a head earlier this week, when Truaxe announced in a long, rambling Instagram video — geotagged to the White House — that Deciem would be shutting down all operations, effective immediately.
"Almost everyone at Deciem has been involved in major criminal activity, which includes financial crimes and much others," Truaxe tells the camera, from the backseat of a car. In the post's equally befuddling caption, he lists a number of companies (H&M, Too Faced, IT Cosmetics), celebrities (Ben Affleck, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Steven Spielberg), and other entities (beauty blogger Caroline Hirons, British-Indian café chain Dishoom, luxury hotel group Aman Resorts, "$100 monkey"), including industry giant The Estée Lauder Companies, which invested in Deciem last year. He writes, "Goodbye also. Peace is coming. It's clear now."
To most viewers, the entire scenario looks like the incoherent, painful-to-watch raving of someone whose mental illness has gone horribly unchecked, with dire, career-ending consequences. They are fans concerned about Truaxe, and concerned even more so about where they will get their $5 niacinamide now that the brick-and-mortar stores are eerily empty and the Deciem website has been replaced with a blank red page. To others, the bizarre posting, in the context of Truaxe's other ramblings, is a call to action, a signal of a revolution — one that has turned Truaxe into an unlikely hero of the alt-right, where the pro-Trump conspiracy theorists that call themselves QAnon are welcoming the embattled beauty maverick with open arms.
What the followers of these fringe groups think they're piecing together is a worldwide scheme that Truaxe is risking his life to expose. The shared belief is that Truaxe has supposedly witnessed firsthand a cycle of corruption and crime that goes to the very top of Hollywood and politicians, sanctioned by those he names, and he wants to expose it all. This is why he frequently tags Donald Trump in the captions of his posts. This is why he uses his best-selling company's Instagram account, with its 370,000 followers, to criticize Michael Moore. This is why he reposted a screenshot from a Wall Street Journal article about the suspected ricin found in mail sent to the Pentagon. This is why the company's page has gone red, like the pill. This is why, in a number of incoherent posts dating back to February — and as recently as yesterday — he has begged for "help."
Someone, they think, knows he is going to blow the lid off the whole thing, and have all the criminals exposed and arrested, once those 28,000 sealed indictments are unveiled — and they're after him.
The perceived martyrdom of Truaxe prevails in the comments of his Instagram posts, where QAnon supporters — including Isaac Kappy, an actor who had minor roles in movies including Thor and Fanboys but is now mainly seen on Alex Jones' Infowars publicly accusing A-list celebrities of running child sex rings and in a shocking TMZ story involving Paris Jackson — encourage him, as well as on Reddit, where this sort of thing tends to thrive in its more niche communities. Yesterday, a story published on this website regarding Deciem's closure was shared to both /r/The_Donald and /r/conspiracy by the same user, who wrote, "Deciem Founder Brandon Truaxe Announces He's Shutting Down The Company - Calls out MAJOR scandal covering thousands of huge names in Hollywood, porn, cosmetics, even Tim Cook. Says a revolution is coming!"
The first comment in the thread references Arkancide, the long-running conspiracy theory that the Clintons are cold-blooded murderers who have no problem getting "rid of" those who could bear as witnesses to their alleged misdeeds. It's an absurd theory, and speaks to a wider, more dangerous ideology, at that; these are the same people who baselessly alleged that the Democratic party was running a child sex trafficking operation out of a Washington, D.C., pizza parlor, accusations that culminated in a man storming the restaurant and firing a rifle inside. They are the same people who believe that the Illuminati is real and that the Rothschild family is responsible for all the world's ills, and that Barack Obama is part of a sleeper cell sent from Africa to destroy the United States — and they've embraced Truaxe as one of their own.
To the non-Pizzagate-believing mind, Truaxe is not a whistleblower, but rather the perfect example of the kind of fear and paranoia that the current political spectrum, in tandem with the internet, has fostered and given voice to. It's unclear what will happen to the company and its cult-favorite products; we've reached out to both Deciem and Estée Lauder for further comment, and will update this story when we hear back.
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Whether you blame your jam-packed schedule, or cop to being lazy, no one deserves to be feverishly scrolling though Pinterest at 4 p.m. on Halloween looking for a last-minute costume. This time is meant for indulging in mini candy bars and the waxy goodness of candy corn, not stressing over what to wear. Luckily, this year can be different.
We feel you — in fact, we are you — so we've put together a step-by-step costume makeup guide that’ll give you time to spike your blood sugar in peace and still win best-dressed later. In fact, you can wear anything you want with the costumes ahead (no cat ears needed) and you probably already have the makeup, too.
For help, we tapped horror makeup veteran Valerie Star of Caravan Stylist Studio for all the ins and outs of letting your makeup be your look. Read on to find your costume, plus everything you need to pull it off.
Neon Skeleton Difficulty Level: 3
You'll Need: Bright pink eyeshadow Black eyeshadow Black pencil eyeliner White pencil eyeliner
How-To: Start with the smoky black color around the eyes, smudging a black pencil liner along the upper and lower lash line and waterline. Then apply a few coats of mascara for definition.
Using a pigmented cream shadow in hot pink (Star recommends this one by Danessa Myricks, because it will not budge), apply the magenta color at the hairline, blending it along one side of the face and down to the cheekbone. "Once at the cheekbone, etch the color from the top of the ear, following the line of your cheek, curving the edge downward to the corner of your lip," Star instructs. Fill in half of your lip with the shadow, extending it over the lipline, on both the top and bottom contours.
"Use the black pencil to fill in half of the nose, going up into a point at the bridge," Star explains. "Blend the top edge of the black with more of the pink shadow. Lastly, use the pink to paint a few broad-stroke squares down the middle of the neck and a line across the collarbone.
Next, grab the white pencil to trace a thin line directly over the areas you just applied the pink: along the hairline, cheek area, the bridge of the nose, and the neck. "Paint the teeth starting in the middle of the lips bringing the white up to sharp points," says Star.
On the cheek without the skeleton, apply a contour blush for the illusion of a sunken cheekbone. Star's pro tip: A blend of the black and pink eyeshadows makes the perfect contour shade.
Chloe Montfort
David Bowie Difficulty Level: 1
You'll Need: Red lipstick Blue eyeliner
How-To: Applying red lipstick on your face is easy — removing it isn't. To help prevent staining, skip liquid or long-wear formulas and opt for the one in your kit that wears off quickly, or pick up a bullet at the drugstore in a classic, creamy texture.
Start by outlining your lighting bolt shape (a brush will help) beginning at the top left and ending at the base of your right cheek, Star says. Then, after you've made the outline, fill it in. To finish off the look, add the blue liner like you see here. "Let the blue overlap onto the red slightly," Star explains. "This will give a little bit extra dimension to the shape."
Pro tip: You can use a blotting sheet, tissue paper, or a toilet seat cover to blot the red color if the lipstick looks greasy, Star says.
Vampire Difficulty Level: 2
You'll Need: Matte black and red eyeshadows Black and red eyeliners A small makeup brush
How-To: "Start by applying a dab of foundation or primer on your eyelids," Star says. "While the foundation is still tacky, apply your matte black eyeshadow all across the lid, starting at the lash line and blending upwards towards the natural crease of the lid." Go ahead and pack it on — you want the shadow to be totally opaque.
Then, for even more impact, go over the black with a red pigment. "Start blending the red shadow into the black, fading it out along the crease of the lid," Star says. Line the upper and lower lash line with a black pencil liner and smudge it with a small shadow brush or a clean finger.
To copy these undereye veins, take a small eyeliner or lip brush, dip it into your red lipstick, and draw squiggly lines under the eyes, Star says. To diffuse the look, mix a little black and red shadow on the back of your hand with the same brush and gently apply it over top. To finish, line your lips with the black liner, slick on some red lipstick, and lightly smudge 'em together with your pinky finger.
Comic Book Art Difficulty Level: 3
You'll Need: Black liquid liner White eyeliner Bright blue eyeshadow Red matte lipstick
How-To: The success of this look lies in your black liquid liner — it needs to go on smoothly, set fully, and stay in place. Ready? Grab your liner and let's start.
"Outline around the outside of the face, near the hairline," Star instructs. "Create these lines in sections of about three to four inches, working your way all the way around the face." Then, apply a thin line along one side of the bridge of the nose and create a 'C' shape around one nostril. Define your brows and line your lips with the same liner.
Below one eye, use that same liner to outline the shape of a teardrop or two, Star says. "Fill in the teardrop outline with white eyeliner, and then apply blue shadow on top of the white," she says. Blend together using your pinky for dimension.
"Fill in the lips with a matte red lipstick, then use the white liner to highlight a little area on the lower part of the lip and a little area on the upper part of the lip," Star says.
Now it's time to add classic comic book dots. "Create a row of three uniform white dots above the arch of one brow, near the hairline," Star says. Repeat as you see here, going down and across the face, or make your own design, just make sure you keep them even.
Frankenstein Difficulty Level: 4
You'll Need: Matte eyeshadow in a dark color Black liquid liner Matte red lipstick White and black eyeliners
How-To: Don't worry — this look only appears to be complicated. Let's start with the stitches: Create dash marks where you'd like your stitches, then draw a small 'X' between each dash. Now add a circle to the end of each point in your 'X' marks. Grab your white liner and lightly outline each 'X'.
To give the stitches a realistic, gory look, "Take a small makeup brush or a Q-tip and rub it in some red lipstick, use a tissue to wipe off the bulk of the red pigment, then apply the excess all around the stitches, blending it outward," Star says. Smudge any excess lipstick under your bottom lash lines.
Blur the harsh lines of your stitches by lightly dusting black shadow over top."Sweep some of the black shadow into the hollows of the cheeks and continue blending it up, above the arch of the brow to the hairline," Star says.
Lastly, Star says to finish the look by outlining your lips with a black pencil liner and filling them in with the red lipstick.
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The obvious choice for emphasizing the importance of a heat protectant would be to liken styling your hair without one to having casual sex without a condom: dangerous, and likely best avoided.
So if this is the metaphor we're going with (and it is), it follows that you should employ similar preventative tactics, too — namely, always be prepared. A box of rubbers stashed in your dresser drawer, a few good heat protectants lined up on top... Maybe safe sex and healthy hair aren't so unrelated after all.
Ahead, the best new creams, mists, and concentrates, for defending your hair against blow-dryers and bad decisions. May your heat protectants be as effective as your prophylactics — that is, around 98% when used perfectly.
A true multitasker, this lightweight leave-in spray protects against heat damage, fends off frizz, and leaves hair silky and hydrated, thanks to a nourishing, strengthening blend of panthenol, vitamin E, hydrolyzed proteins, and amino acids — and it smells exactly as chic and expensive as you've come to expect from the celebrity go-to brand.
Ouai Leave-In Conditioner, $26, available at Ouai.
— PAID —
We all want long-lasting curls, especially if we’ve taken the time to break out the hot tools and risked potential heat damage. That’s why this new thermal protection hairspray from Sexy Hair is our style-locking secret weapon. The lightweight spritz not only protects strands from heat damage up to 450°F, but it also secures curls for up to a whopping 72 hours. All we need to worry about now is finding the right plans to do 'em justice.
Sexy Hair Hot Sexy Hair Control Me Thermal Protection Working Hairspray, $18.95, available at Ulta Beauty.
There's nothing to not love about this new blow-out aid — it's affordable, smells like fresh laundry, detangles like a charm, and leaves even the driest lengths and ends with crazy softness and shine.
Kristin Ess Style Assist Blow Dry Mist, $14, available at Target.
Powered by strengthening biotin, this wallet-friendly formula promises to protect hair against not just heat-styling damage, but brushing, bleaching, coloring, and braiding, too. (Try saying that three times fast.)
Tresemmé Repair & Protect 7 Pre-Styling Spray, $4.98, available at Walmart.
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If you didn't know who Susan Sontag was when news broke yesterday that next year's Met Gala theme was based off her essay on "Notes On 'Camp,'" it's all good — searches for her name are at an all-time high, which means a lot of people are just discovering one of the most prolific writers of our time for, well, the first time.
On Tuesday, The Metropolitan Museum of Art's curator in charge Andrew Bolton revealed that next year's Met Gala will be all about camp, aptly titled: Camp: Notes on Fashion. It makes sense, then, that the evening's co-chairs are Lady Gaga, Harry Styles, Alessandro Michele of Gucci, and Serena Williams — though we're not sure if Williams's style is as camp as it is, well, just her. But that's actually what camp is all about. Camp just is.
Camp is one of those words that you can't always explain. But when you see it, you just know. It can be defined literally as "something that provides sophisticated, knowing amusement, as by virtue of its being artlessly mannered or stylized, self-consciously artificial and extravagant, or teasingly ingenuous and sentimental." It can be embodied as, well, most of what fashion already is, which is why next year's Met Gala is so robust: it'll feature 175 pieces from 37 designers, and will include sculptures, drawings, and more.
In Sontag's "Notes On 'Camp,'" her Partisan Review essay from 1964, she puts words to the idea — which, according to Sontag, is to betray the idea of camp entirely: "Indeed the essence of Camp is its love of the unnatural: of artifice and exaggeration," she writes in the introduction. "And Camp is esoteric — something of a private code, a badge of identity even, among small urban cliques." Though Sontag alludes that camp is elusive in nature yet obvious in practice, her essay contains 58 notes on the idea. That's more than enough for Bolton to reference for his next project.
Photo: Stephen Barker/REX/Shutterstock.
Sontag, who was born and raised in New York City, was as controversial as she was revolutionary. She wrote books, which were also turned into plays (like Alice in Bed and Lady from the Sea), she was an activist and advocate for women's rights, and was both lauded and criticized for her commentary on American culture. In fact, much of her resolute political writings are just as relevant to today as they were when they were originally published. "The white race is the cancer of human history; it is the white race and it alone — its ideologies and inventions — which eradicates autonomous civilizations wherever it spreads," she wrote in 1967, for the Partisan Review.
Sontag's essay on camp, however, is a lot lighter. In fact, one of the many points she makes is that camp "is art that proposes itself seriously, but cannot be taken altogether seriously." She supports this with a quote from Vera; or, The Nihilists, a play by Oscar Wilde: "Life is too important a thing ever to talk seriously about it." And with all of the seriousness the world is currently dealing with, it feels like next year's Met Gala is something we can look forward to enjoying as opposed to dissecting — as Sontag did in '64 and as we do, as self-appointed critics, each year.
Though the theme may not be as obvious as those before it — like Punk: Chaos to Couture and Costumes of Royal India — or those that have focused on and honored single designers — like Yves Saint Laurent and Gianni Versace — but that's never stopped the Costume Institute. And ultimately, the exhibit's indescribable, you-just-have-to-see-it nature is what will draw crowds. But it's important to remember the face behind the essay, too. And while Sontag won't be walking the red carpet — she passed away in 2004 — her contributions to the definition of camp will, hopefully, be used to describe the many looks inside and outside of the show.
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Heading into the hair salon for a seasonal color can be tricky. You're feeling the fall spirit, hankering for a warmer shade, but don't know exactly what to ask for. The next thing you know, you're walking out of the salon with a shinier version same blonde highlights that you had all summer, kicking yourself for being so gun-shy.
Luckily, for those of us who want to try something new for fall, L.A.'s top stylists tell us that this year's of-the-moment color trends are natural, yet will instantly put a fresh spin on any base shade you're working with. If you're a natural dirty-blonde and your summer color's feeling a little flat, you can add a strawberry-gold highlight for instant warmth. Or, if you're a brunette and craving a remixed refresh, there's a caramel cold brew tone perfect for you.
The six hair color trends that are going to be big this fall, along with ample inspiration to bring to your colorist, ahead.
Red-Hot Reds
L.A. colorist Anthony Holguin tells us that rich warm reds, including the very trendy "red velvet," are having a big moment this fall. And though they're not the easiest shades to achieve — with the right coloring techniques and diligent maintenance, they can look super natural on all hair colors.
"When adding red color on a natural blonde or a dark brunette, I typically recommend highlighting the hair to a pale yellow, then adding in the red tones," Holguin explains. "Everyones hair lifts in stages, and we all have a warm factor when we lift our color, meaning your highlights go through a phase of orange yellow to pale yellow, and eventually to white. To achieve a rich, but still natural looking red, stick to the yellows and pale yellow shades of highlight."
This shade is particularly popular with girls who've been bleaching their hair single-process platinum, and are looking for a darker tone that still has warmth.
A rich auburn color can work as a highlight, instantly brightening the face while framing your features.
A coppery red shade looks even more vibrant when it's woven through the mid-shafts of bouncy curls.
Dusty Blonde
This summer has been all about bright, glossy tones — which aren't going anywhere — but Cherin Choi, colorist at Nova Arts Salon in L.A., tells us that the fall is the perfect time to take your color a little cooler, more muted, and less Barbie Blonde. "I am enjoying dimension and change for a fresh new fall look," she explains. "Cooler blonde highlights blended over a dark base shade lets you go lighter, without feeling too blonde — and it gives the look a little texture and edge."
Balayage is a great technique for mixing a cool, dusty blonde highlight into long hair, because it looks even radder when your dark roots grow in.
Want to really take it to the next level? Icy gray-blonde highlights are unexpected on jet-black hair, but when they're focused on the ends, the overall look is both soft and hip at the same time.
Cold Brew Balayage
NYC-based colorist Stephanie Brown says the "cold brew" color trend will continue to be big for fall. The name is a bit deceiving, because we're not talking about plain coffee, rather a play on varying degrees of the cream that's added. It's about the "swirling of neutral and golden tones down the hair," Brown explains. "Just like when you pour a little bit of milk into your coffee."
L.A.-based colorist Erin Carter shows us how a face-framing, golden shine can make a deep, chestnut base color come alive.
Popping soft, caramel-colored curls with sun-kissed blonde highlights is like ordering your cold brew with a half-pump of hazelnut. It's so subtle, but makes all the difference.
Warm Golden Tones
Choi calls this hue "lioness color." This trend uses a subtle highlight to play up the warmer gold, strawberry blonde, or red-ish base, whether natural or done with dye or gloss. The trick is to find a golden tone that works well with your root color so it grows out seamlessly.
A copper color can be tricky because you don't want your highlight to read brassy, but when you err on the side of gold, with just a touch of red undertones, the result is the perfect rich fall shade that'll look incredible at golden hour.
See how golden highlights make curls look vivacious, while a transitional amber-tinged tone keeps it from looking overdone? The result is fresh and modern, but still subtle.
Shadow Roots
A shadow root — also called gloss smudging — is the perfect complement to the sunny summer highlight you already have going on, and actually looks cooler as it grows out.
Brown tells us that she likes to give her clients a shadow root to transition summer color into fall. "I’ll tone the roots a bit darker than the mid-shaft and ends of the hair," she explains. "This lets you go a little lighter with the color, without the worry of having a harsh contrast when your hair is growing out."
L.A. colorist Justin Anderson shows us how to take hair darker for fall without doing away with leftover highlights. The idea is to deepen the root shade so that the blonde accent actually appears brighter by contrast.
Rich Brown
Daniel M, a colorist at Nova Arts Salon, tells us that he's playing up rich brown colors for fall. “Fall is the best excuse to give your hair a nice break from bleach," he says. "Opt for a warm brown — it'll take your blonde back to a natural brunette. But keep a touch of highlight or a rich gloss, to keep it from looking flat.”
Subtle babylights woven through the ends of hair look completely natural, yet make the whole look feel more voluminous and healthy.
A high-shine gloss finish makes multidimensional brown color feel all the more fresh and vibrant for fall.
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There's nothing quite as satisfying as finding an item you can wear multiple ways. What can we say? We're a generation that craves convenience. From phone cases that double as wallets to sneakers becoming fashion-forward footwear — basically, if it allows us to cut down on time, things we have to unnecessarily lug around, or effort in putting together an outfit in the morning, we'll likely give it a try. So when fall comes around (bless transitional weather!) and the ultimate two-in-one outfit starts making its way into our rotation again, it's safe to say we jump on it — fast. We're talking sweater dresses, more specifically, those of the long-sleeve variety.
With fall having already arrived (in theory), it's easy to get overwhelmed by the new arrivals hitting stores on the daily. But that's what makes twofer pieces like sweater dresses so tantalizing. No need to pick and choose pants, sweaters, tops, etc. when there's one dress that does it all. Next time you're in a time crunch, can't for the life of you pick out what to wear, or just want getting ready to not take hours, grab one of the long-sleeved sweater dresses ahead.
At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.
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It's no secret that Amazon owns our shopping habits. So much so, it's become our go-to for everything from a 10 pack of Pocky sticks to designer dresses, sending us into a Target-like rabbit hole that results in a cart full of items we didn't plan on purchasing. If you can think of it, it's likely Amazon has it.
But coming across more unique and worthy finds, like a novelty plant holder or a new pair of heels, isn't as easy a task. Unless you're a pro at scrolling through hundreds of thousands of products, it's easy to quit three pages in. So, we're doing the grunt work and digging through the deepest reaches of Amazon for the best goodies around. Tech, beauty, fashion, wellness, home; there's not one category we're excluding from our search.
From the most buzz-worthy eyeliners on the market to affordable furniture that only looks expensive, our editors are rounding up the best Amazon has to offer. Even better, we're bringing you a brand spanking new list of items, every week. Check back here each Monday for the latest round of Amazon available products you'll want to add to cart, sans the toilet paper.
At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.
Home This mid-century modern feeling lamp is sure to fit in almost any decor setting.
Stone & Beam Modern Wood Grain-Look Lamp, $59.99, available at Amazon
A quick trick for making it easier to find your keys at the bottom of your bag: try a uniquely shaped key ring.
Snail & Co. Cactus Key Ring, $9.88, available at Amazon
Good deal alert! This set of two pink velvet chairs runs for $132.89 (with free shipping!).
GreenForest Modern Velvet Chairs, $132.88, available at Amazon
A key step towards adulthood is purchasing a bar cart that suits your entertaining style.
Rivet 3-Tiered Rustic Metallic Rolling Wood and Metal Bar Car, $149, available at Amazon
Nobody needs to know that the secret to your spotless living room is storing all your odds and ends in a chic large basket.
Bloomingville Collapsible Seagrass Basket with Han, $35.99, available at Amazon
Fashion Denim jacket season never ends when your favorite one comes lined with faux sherpa.
Jenkoon Sherpa Fur Lined Denim Boyfriend Jacket, $44.98, available at Amazon
This retro handbag frame has a modern PVC finish—and it's dirt cheap.
Hoxis Transparent PVC Kiss Lock Chain Cross Body Bag, $21.9, available at Amazon
Let's all take a moment to admire how pretty the Air Max looks in pale pink.
There's never a bad time to stock up on your Calvins.
Calvin Klein Modern Cotton Bralette, $16.8, available at Amazon
Lean into the Western trend with a skirt that pairs well with your new cowboy boots.
Mara Hoffman Tulay High Waisted Ankle Skirt, $395, available at Amazon
Wellness The Venture Pal backpack is more durable than it looks. While lightweight, this daypack features high quality tear and water-resistant material. And if you don't trust us, trust the 4,300+ positive reviews.
Venture Pal Lightweight Packable Durable Travel Hiking Backpack, $20.99, available at Amazon
Whether you use them for therapy or relieving muscle tension, these massage balls are always good to have on in hand.
Gaiam Hand Therapy Kit, $9.96, available at Amazon
With gear you can get for less than $25, there are no more excuses for not signing up for that boxing class, stat.
Everlast Pro Style Training Gloves, $21, available at Amazon
An all organic massage oil that smells like a trip to the spa.
Exsens Organic Massage Oil White Peach, $17.85, available at Amazon
We're here for any sports bra that claims to prevent chafing.
Enell Wire-Free Sports Bra, $70, available at Amazon
Tech We've reached the era where taking a selfie is now the norm. Make yours standout with consistently good lighting. The latest LuMee case offers studio-quality front and back facing lights.
Lumee Duo Phone Case, Front & Back LED Lighting, $69.95, available at Amazon
The Echo Dot is the Amazon Echo's smaller and sleeker sister.
Amazon All-new Echo Dot (3rd Gen), $49.99, available at Amazon
Meet your new little desk buddy.
AmuseNd USB Cool Mist Humidifier, $15.89, available at Amazon
Fuel your Fortnite addiction, or gift the addiction to someone else, with the dedicated Nintendo Switch bundle.
Nintendo Nintendo Switch: Fortnite - Double Helix Bundle, $299.99, available at Amazon
These USB hand warmers are fingerless so you wont have to break your texting stride while keeping your hands toast-y.
Coeuspow Toast USB Hand Warmers, $25.99, available at Amazon
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French girls wear it better. It’s perhaps the most ubiquitous fashion one-liner of all time — and with good reason. When it comes to personal style, Gallic ladies seem to have that extra something that makes their outfits just a little bit cooler, a tad more unexpected, and a whole lot more enviable. Their closets might be minimalist compared to ours, but somehow they always have the perfect sweater to throw on top and scarf to tie on (their necks and bags and just about everything else). And though the effortless appeal feels like it’s a matter of grabbing the first gamine button-down off the hanger and heading out the door, the art of nailing that sartorial je ne sais quoi is actually more of a fine science.
From deciding which items to pair together to harnessing the power of proportion and selecting the perfect finishing touches, it’s all part of a strategic approach to mastering your own Paris-inspired wardrobe formula. Here, in partnership with Karl Lagerfeld Paris, we've broken down three impossibly stylish fall looks that will get you well on your way to stepping out with French flair — be it on the streets of Nice or the sidewalks of New York City.
Lesson one: Don’t underestimate the power of a power suit. Far from stuffy and corporate, the best slacks-and-blazer combinations stick to smart, classic lines while throwing in a touch of unexpected whimsy. In the case of this suit, a graphic black-and-white windowpane plaid keeps things modern. Pair yours with a simple white shirt and timeless black heels to keep the look feminine while letting the set have its moment. A chain-strap shoulder bag (note the scarf tied just so) finishes things off.
We get it, the idea of throwing together more than one print (especially when you’re running out the door on a Monday morning) can feel intimidating. The key to mastering a fail-proof equation? Stick to a cohesive color palette and the clean, simple lines of wardrobe basics. A timeless tweed skirt works with a classic striped knit because neither of those pieces is busy or overwhelming. When it comes to the finishing touches — in this case a timeless moto jacket, booties, and handbag — stick to a single color (black obviously never fails) to add visual interest while keeping the head-to-toe effect balanced and chic.
Consider this crimson-colored jumpsuit the 2.0 version of a LBD (though we do think no closet is complete without one of those). When it comes to the French approach to foundational staples, a perfect going-out piece like this that makes you feel out of this world is key. For that extra hint of Parisian cool, pair this ensemble with white slip-on sneakers like the ones seen here, rather than heels. Effortless, eye-catching, and comfortable — perhaps the best fashion combination of all.
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